A/N: I know what you're thinking. writeallnight, haven't you written about "Neighborhood Watch" before? Isn't one fic about the most epic episode of Densi goodness enough? The answer is no. No it is not. I just couldn't help myself! That episode is ECO and Dani Ruah gold. I think we are all rooting for another episode in that vein this season right? DO YOU HEAR ME WRITERS?! Anyway, enjoy yet another fic based on the classic tale of our favorite ship's attempt at married life.
"How many shoes do you own?"
"A woman needs her shoes Deeks."
"I mean, seriously, we're going to be here for what, a week? Tops? And yet, you brought four pairs of stilettos."
"It has to be convincing Deeks. People need to believe we're living here," Kensi sighed and ripped open another box.
"Who are we going to be inviting into our bedroom?" Deeks asked. He paused and looked at her. "Are we planning on inviting someone else into our bedroom?"
"Oh my god, you are disgusting!" Kensi cried. "Forget it. I'm not doing this."
"Ha! Pay up G!" Sam said from where he and Callen leaned in the doorway, both dressed in mover's uniforms.
Callen reached for his wallet. "You called it. Less than an hour in the house and Kensi's already calling for a divorce."
"I am not!" she said grumpily.
"It's just a lover's spat," Sam teased. "The first of many."
"I will kill you," Kensi said through gritted teeth. "And I will not feel bad about it."
"You know for posing as movers you don't seem to be doing a lot of moving," Deeks grunted as he lifted another box onto the bed.
"It's more fun to watch you do it," Sam said with a smirk.
"Where's the box with the satellite uplink equipment?" Kensi asked.
"I don't know," Deeks replied from deep inside the master closet.
Kensi put her hands on her hips. "What do you mean you don't know? I asked you very specifically to put that box in the car."
"You did not," Deeks stuck his head out.
"Yes, I did," Kensi said tersely.
"No, you said that the satellite uplink equipment was in the box and then you went to find the case of weapons."
"Which meant you should have put it in the car. Think about it Deeks. How are we going to get a secure link to the network without the satellite equipment?"
"I know what the equipment is for. I'm just saying it wasn't my job to bring it."
"I think it's time for us to go," Callen observed.
"Aw come on G. This is better than the Bachelor," Sam teased.
"Just try not to kill each other okay?" Callen asked.
"No promises," Kensi ground out.
"Don't worry. Me and the wifey here will be just fine," Deeks put his arm around Kensi's waist and she promptly elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to wince. "See? We're great."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Good luck lovebirds. We'll see you in the morning."
Callen and Sam departed, leaving Deeks and Kensi alone in the master suite.
"So…" Kensi said slowly.
"So…" Deeks echoed, his eyes traveling around the room. "This is nice."
"Yep," Kensi shifted her weight uncomfortably.
There was a long paused. "I'm going for a run," Kensi announced.
"I'll start dinner," Deeks said at nearly the same time.
Kensi wrinkled her forehead. "It's 11:30 am."
"I-"
Before Deeks could form a sentence the doorbell rang. "Who is that?" Kensi asked, automatically reaching for her weapon.
"Whoa, calm down Annie Oakley," Deeks pushed her hand down. "It's probably just the neighbors. You know, people who live next door?"
The bell rang again. "We just got here. Why are they coming over?" Kensi asked.
"They're being neighborly," Deeks explained, slowly, as if to a child. "Come on Melissa. Let's go meet the block."
They walked downstairs and Kensi opened the door, smiling brightly at the woman on the other side.
"Hi there neighbors!" the blonde greeted them cheerfully, a beribboned basket in her hand. "I'm Paulina. I just wanted to say welcome! Welcome to our little neighborhood!"
"Oh wow, thank you," Kensi accepted the basket. "Thank you so much. I'm Melissa and this is my husband Justin."
"That's me. Us, we," Deeks chimed in. "Her and me."
Kensi turned a wide-eyed glare on him and he closed his mouth.
"Newlyweds?" Paulina asked.
"Six months," Kensi wiggled her left hand as Deeks slipped an arm around her waist.
"I can always tell. You two have that newlywed glow going on," she pointed a finger between them. "So how did you come to be in the Colonel's place?"
"He's my uncle," Deeks told her. "He got called out of town unexpectedly and asked if we'd come stay for a couple months."
"Oh, so you're in town for a while then?" Paulina asked. "That's…wonderful."
Her eyes traveled up and down Deeks' body. Kensi followed their new neighbor's gaze and her eyes hardened slightly.
"Yes, it's sort of a second honeymoon for us," Kensi pulled Deeks a little more sharply to her side.
"Ow!" he grunted and then let out a second, "Ow!" as she ground her foot into his.
"Well," Paulina seems to snap out of her trance, "you just have to come to dinner. My Brett makes a mean mojito."
"Oh yeah, that would be great," Kensi said, her cheery demeanor was somewhat faded.
"Tomorrow! Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!" Paulina clasped her hands together.
"Oh well…" Kensi hesitated.
"We'd love too," Deeks answered for them both.
"Perfect! 7:00 okay? See you then! Toodles!"
Kensi closed the door slowly. "She just said 'toodles.' What kind of place is this?"
"I'd like to back up to the part where we're having our second honeymoon. Because if I remember correctly honeymoons usually mean lots of s-"
He was cut off as Kensi grabbed his thumb and bent it backward. "You had better not be about to say sex," she growled. "Because if you are about to say sex I will rip your arm off your body and beat you senseless."
"Sangria," Deeks gasped. "Lots of sangria."
Kensi pushed him away. "That's what I thought. I'm going for a run. When I get back you…you just…," Kensi sputtered, unable to come up with words strong enough.
Instead she spun on her heel and stalked up the stairs to change.
"Wow, very threatening wifey!" Deeks called after her. "Quite the wordsmith you are!"
"Shut up!"
A/N: Thanks for the read! Leave your love in the reviews!