...another au...

"Juvia, would you date me?"

The question came at such an odd point in time, I felt my face scrunch up as my hand smoothed a poster across my wall. We were currently redecorating, aka moving everything around in an unnecessary fashion for the sole excuse of blasting music to the utmost limit in my room.

"I…dunno." I answered. I felt like I knew Lucy too well to date her. I knew all of her dirty little secrets, there is definitely such a thing as too much information.

"Would you date me if I had a penis?" She revised, plucking a thumbtack from my wall and smashing it through Ashton Irwin's chin.

"I…still don't know how that changes anything." I answered vaguely.

"I can think of a few ways it changes things…"

"Yeah, well maybe if your face wasn't buried in porn so much, you'd actually have a boyfriend and you wouldn't have to resort to using me." I retorted, wishing I had a microphone to drop onto the floor.

"Ooh, ouch. At least I'm not creepily obsessed with what's-his-name." She added. That's always her last resort, fuckin' bitch.

"Don't go there!" I screeched hotly, kicking a fluffy green chair over in frustration.

Of course, she was referring to icecross, my sad, sad obsession. Icecross was a youtube channel I frequented (and that's using the word 'frequented' loosely). It wasn't my damn fault that Gray Fullbuster is the undisputable reincarnate of Jesus Christ himself.

I happened across Gray's channel a few or so years ago, it barely even took me a half minute to fall in love with him, he was adorable, sexy, funny, amazing, fucking sexy as sin, witty, perfect…I could probably google search a list of other synonyms for these types of words, but you get the picture. Trust me, you'd love him, too. Lucy's just jealous that I discovered him first.

"I always have to go there. Sure, he's cute, but you just…I don't even know how to describe the level of weird you've traipsed across with your obsession." Lucy said with a wayward shiver.

"You love him!" I accused, pointing my finger at her like I had just condemned her to be a witch.

"You do!" She corrected, throwing an awkwardly heavy memory foam pillow at me.

She laughed at the weird poomf! sound it made when it hit my face.

I wrinkled my nose like an upset pug and threw it back at her.

"Maybe a little bit," I admitted, licking my top row of teeth seductively. Lucy ended my room polishing when she slapped a crappily-printed photo I screenshotted of Gray during one of his videos . He had his hand midway through his rogue, wavy black hair.

It was sad how much good money I would pay to be in the same room as him when he does that.

"Creep," Lucy whispered, pointing at the photo threateningly. "One day, this obsession is going to bite you right in the ass."

"Sure," I reprimanded.

I kind of wished I had listened to her.

.

.

.

It was late Tuesday afternoon, not that the days mattered in early summer anyways, it didn't matter if it was Tuesday or Wednesday or fucking whattheheckisday.

I had been scrolling through my youtube subscription page for a while now, sadly I wasn't into that much besides icecross and the occasional makeup tutorial it took a lot of work to make my ugly not ugly.

I randomly clicked and old-ish video of Gray's, one of my favorites, Top Ten Reasons Icecross makes a Good Boyfriend. The first time I saw it I was practically surrounded in tissues, because I get really emotional when I see his smiling little baby face.

I listened to him ramble on about roses or something, I couldn't care less, he could fucking spit on me and I'd still consider him 10/10 boyfriend material. That may be a tiny bit sad, but whatever.

My phone buzzed and I checked it, almost going cross-eyed trying to focus on the text and Gray's face simultaneously.

From: Loosey Heartfuck-up

check this out :3

Curiously, I hit pause on Gray's video and clicked the link Lucy had sent me. A list for the latest video conference in the Capitol was out. Pft. Lame, I already knew Gray was gonna be there. I was no doubt the first view on his video announcing it. Too bad I had no money and no options.

To: Loosey Heartfuck-up

late much? evrbody knows hes gonna be there

A ding almost immediately.

From: Loosey Heartfuck-up

awww. don't u wanna go meet the bae?

I rolled my eyes.

To: Loosey Heartfuck-up

duh. not like i can go anyhow, plus id probably end up embarrassing myself

I could hear Lucy's telltale laughter in my head.

From: Loosey Heartfuck-up

course you would, ya little screw-up :P

A notification appeared on my computer screen, annoyingly covering up Gray's paused face. Twitter.

I dropped my phone on the floor and crossed my legs, interested enough to click the notification. Apparently someone had followed me.

I didn't recognize the person, not at first. He looked fairly attractive, and I could've sworn that I recognized his nname as well. Weird.

What was even weirder was that he had over ten thousand followers. I mean…fuck. I barely had three hundred, and I was following like four hundred people. (Yes…including Gray, you assholes.)

I looked at his following tab. Holy shit, he's barely even following fifty people!

Maybe he followed me by mistake, I chastised, reality biting my ass evilly.

As if reality had heard me and decided to respond with 'check yourself, bitch' I got a DM from the guy, Lyon Vastia, who had just followed me.

I hit my inbox and read what he had written, which was like three paragraphs worth. Shit, he's trying to sell me something isn't he?

Dear Juvia

It's been a long night, but I think I've finally found you. The one. I saw your profile from a distance, and it ha only taken me minutes to realize that I have to speak with you. I'll die if I don't.

My face was frozen. Was this guy for real? He must've swallowed one too many Shakespeare pills, because damn, he really doesn't mess.

Your beauty is absolutely astounding. I find it to be unmatched and unparalleled – your humor is flawless, is it crazy to say that I believe I may have fallen for you already?

Yes. It's really crazy, but I wasn't about to judge, since this was coming from the girl who had clearly fantasized about marring gray Fullbuster within minutes of meeting him.

Juvia, you are a truly lovely human being. I may die if I never have the chance to at least speak with you, so I am begging you – please, respond, so I may at least have some closure.

Oh man, Lucy was gonna eat this up like fucking groceries. Man – even I was eating this up. Either this was a really sick prank (my best guess) or this guy missed his check-in at the loony bin. I was seriously doubting messaging him back.

With hesitant curiosity, and bated breath - Lyon.

I ended his message by bursting into giggles. This was just…man, this was hilarious! I should send this exact message to Lucy and see what she says…

The response box glared at me. Should I answer yet, or wait for further counsel…?

My legs jittered excitedly and I started typing anyways. I was way too pumped up to see what this guy was up to.

Are you serious? I typed back eagerly. I was still giggling hysterically, like some weird DC goon who desperately wanted to kill the batman.

He answered freakishly fast.

Of course not! I would never joke about something like this!

Heh. So this guy wanted to play, well, so be it.

cool, cool. I sent back. I know, I'm lame.

Is…there any other way I can contact you? This seems a little…informal…

Smooth. Asking for my phone number without even asking for it.

um…you are still kind of a stranger, but i can do Skype.

Nice. I hit the send button with satisfaction, no one's gonna weasel my phone number out of me!

Of course! We have to start small, this is a blossoming relationship. My Skype is icemake17

My eyebrows furrowed. That's…unique. My thoughts instantly swerved to icecross, as they usually did whenever something remotely icy was mentioned. I shrugged it off.

Ok, ill add you, I guess.

I minimized the Twitter browser and went onto Skype. May as well throw this guy a bone, if it was a joke, maybe I could at least give his friends a good laugh.

My hands flew to the keyboard to get to the add friends tab. What was his name again? Lion? Whatever. What was his Skype name?

My face contorted into a face of confusion and I was tempted to reopen the Twitter tab to check.

"It was icemagic, or something lame." I spoke aloud. I typed in icemagic17 and hit add without any second doubts. Usually I wasn't this bold when it came to making friends with strange people who claimed to be in love with me, but I was flying high on a whim and a shot of coffee. I could regret my decisions in the morning.

I hadn't bothered adding any sort of customary greeting in the request, but I figured if lion-guy liked me so much he'd recognize my profile picture, because it's actually a fairly good picture of me.

There was no activity from my Skype for the next couple of minutes, which was kind of weird because Twitter guy seemed pretty eager to meet me earlier. Maybe he backed out of the joke late, who knows.

Unfazed, I moved back to the screen where Gray's adorable fucking face was frozen in time, telling me exactly why I should date him.

It was funny. I think the thing I liked most about his videos was that it felt like he was talking to me – not the whole world full of fangirls, but just me.

It was stupid, and petty. But I found solace in it.

I hit play on the video. Gray began talking about how much he liked spontaneity and traveling and the only thing on my mind was how fucking amazing it would be to date Gray. Then again, I don't know if I'd even be able to stand in his presence without bowing down the whole time. A wicked double-standard, if you ask me.

I gently brushed a stray piece of blue hair that had fallen from my bun. It used to be blonde once a upon a dream, but ever since a video of Gray's stating he liked girls with exotic hair, I've been rocking the blue locks as best I could. Lucy told me it was stupid to change the way I looked for a boy I didn't even know. Maybe it was, a little bit. But it made me feel good about myself, too. It made me stand out. And I liked it.

"Another great thing about me is that I'm hilarious, like 30% of the time. You'll be the funny one in the relationship." Screen Gray stated. I felt myself nod subtly, even though in my mind I knew he was eighty thousand times funnier than me on his worst days.

A Skype notification popped up. Romeo's back, apparently. I made the one-sided decision to finish the video before I messaged him again, on my watch, Gray took absolute priority.

Another Skype notification appeared and I hazardously rolled my eyes. Give it a rest, Adonis. I'm here all night.

With a wry smile, I reached for my phone, debating whether or not I should tell Lucy, and how. Maybe 'guess who earned herself a stalker' would be a good start. I typed it into my phone messily and hit send. Meanwhile, the Gray video ended and I was alone again.

Except for stalky-pants.

I hit Skype to see what he had to say for himself, probably something along the line of 'you've been punked!11!', but it didn't hurt to check.

My eyes squinted at the message he had sent me.

how did you get my Skype

I raised one eyebrow in confusion. Short term memory loss much? I was so close to typing P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney it almost hurt, but I decided to be cool and give him a straightforward answer.

you gave it to me?

With a sudden heartstroke of panic, I remembered that I hadn't double checked his Skype name to make sure I had typed in the right one. Like a crazed lunatic, I reopened the Twitter site and checked the guy's (Lyon Vastia, I gotta remember that name…) Skype.

Shit.

Apparently, my dumbassery knows no bounds, because his Skype was icemake17. I had befriended icemagic17.

My face heated up in mortification. Man was I stupid, and lazy, too. It would've taken me 0.4 seconds to double check the name, but nooo, I just had to go with my stupid-ass gut.

Before I could type in an apology to icemagic or whatever his name was, they messaged me back again.

god dammit. did natsu give it to you?

My mind triggered a string of memories associated with the word Natsu, like the fact that there was another youtuber by that name who's channel was actually kind of lame but for some reason he had an assload of subscribers. I only knew him through Gray's channel, weird as that was. I kind of considered myself friends with Gray, like his friends were mine, ad his enemies were mine. Natsu was somewhere in between those two, so my feelings for him were mixed.

idk who that is

I typed back an answer, absentmindedly forgetting to tell the person that it was my mistake that had led to us becoming contacts.

Oh well. Out of sheer boredom, I clicked his contact and decided to surf through what little info it could give me.

His picture was fuzzy and weird, I could tell that there were multiple people in the photo and they were on a beach of some sort. An extrovert. Excellent.

But that didn't really matter.

Because what really hit me – and this is hilarious, so pay attention – was the name.

Gray Fullbuster.

"Oh shit," I remarked, my voice raising to a high-pitched squeak that could rival the sound of a squeaky toy being stepped on by an obese person.

The only thing left to do now, was scream.

got randomly inspired when my friends were rambling about troyler siban or some weird youtube thing. so yeahhhhh I might actually continue this? amazing!?