Prologue: The Lie to Take Control

Miriallia felt her head pounding. She must have hit it hard she thought. She didn't remember hitting it. Not that she would remember if she hit it hard enough. The soft sounds of beeps and people walking in the distance filled the room. She could feel a cool breeze floating over her. Slowly she opened her eyes. At first things were blurry then everything came into focus. It was then she realized where she was. She was in the hospital. "I guess I hit my head pretty hard." she thought.

"Mir?" she felt her heart drop hearing that voice. She hesitantly turned her head to look at the boy sitting next to her. His eyes had tears at the corners of them threatening to fall. "Thank god you're finally awake" He said happily as he stood to grab hold of her hand. She pulled it away before he could. She looked at him scared. "Mir… what's wrong"

"This can't be. You died in the first war… three years ago. It impossible. You can't be here, you can't be Tolle" she said softly in a hoarse voice.

He looked at her shocked before replying "Miriallia… I think you were dreaming." He looked at her sadly for a few moments. Almost like he didn't know whether to say something or not "You've been in a coma for the past three months." He explained. "When the meteor hit heliopolis the ceiling collapsed. You were hit in the head."

She started breathing heavily and quickly. She was having a panic attack. Could it all be just a dream. Just a fantasy of her imagination. Heliopsis being destroyed. Becoming a soldier. Tolle's death. Even the love of her and Dearka shared was fake. It was all in her head. The past three years were all in her head. The machines in the room started to go haywire. The soft beeps became aggressive and loud. "No… it… it doesn't… doesn't make sense" She managed to say through her struggle to catch her breath.

"Miri you have to calm down" He said placing his hands on her shoulders. "Please just try to take deep breaths"

Tears were running down her cheeks when suddenly a young man and woman came running into the room. He was wear a white lab coat while she was wearing a pink nurses' uniform. "Nurse Hahnenfuss give me 50cc of benzodiazepines stat!" Miriallia didn't even pay attention to what the two did as they entered the room. She was too focused on their looks. They were in her fantasy world. His silver hair and icy blue eyes and her long brunette hair and violet eyes were unmistakable. They were Yzak Joule and Shiho Hahnenfuss. Coordinators and soldiers of ZAFT.

Soon the drugs start to take effect and Mir calmed down. "Mir… are you feeling better?" Tolle asked as she leaned back onto her pillow. She didn't answer him. She was too confused.

"Miss Haww I'm doctor Yzak Joule and this is nurse Shiho Hahnenfuss." The young doctor said introducing himself and his colleague. "We've been assigned to your case for the past few weeks. I'm glad to see that you've responded well to the recent treatments."

"This doesn't make sense" She said under her breath in an angry tone. She furrowed her eyebrows. A frown plastered across her face. She looked down at her hands almost like she was still trying to decide if this was all real or not.

"What doesn't make sense?" He asked curious.

"You!" She shouted frustrated as she looked up "Your Commander Yzak Joule of ZAFT. Not some doctor in Heliopolis. And that woman is not some goody two shoes nurse. She is Lieutenant Shiho Hahnenfuss of ZAFT your subordinate and finance!" She said convinced that she knew what she was talking about. Shiho couldn't help but blush. Apparently the thought of her being with Yzak embarassed her.

"Miss Haww I want you to know what you are experiencing right now is normal for those who have been in a coma this long." He explained. "Your mind creates a world to live in so that your brain remains active. It's like a fantasy world, nothing in it was real. As for myself and nurse Hahnenfuss being in this fantasy there is an explanation for that as well. We've been in and out of this room multiple times a day for the past few weeks. During those times your subconscious must have registered us and then we became part of the fantasy itself. It may be the same with many others who've been in your dream world. You haven't always been in a private room. And in you time in the other room you had several roommates who had several visits from doctors, nurses, friends and family."

"Heliopolis was never attacked?" She asked looking up at him raising one eyebrow.

"We were hit by a meteor three months ago. It came out of no where. The damage wasn't extensive but it did shake the entire colony." It was just as Tolle said. A meteor. Her whole life seemed to be a lie. Three years worth of just fantasy. It was hard to believe. "Miriallia I'm going to recommend you to see a psychologist. They can help you to make sense of the fantasy, that is if you are willing to go." she nodded her head yes. "Then I'll set up an appointment this afternoon."

After checking a few of her vitals he and Shiho left the room. Tolle and Miriallia remain silent for a while. It felt like she forgot how to interact with him. In her mind it had been three years since his death. But she wasn't a 19 year old war photographer slash former solider. She was a 16 year old student who had been in an accident. She wasn't mourning the lost of her boyfriend. He was alive and well standing next to her. "This must all seem like a lot" He finally said.

"Are the others okay?" She asked worried about her other friends.

"Yeah, the only other friend of our to get hurt was Sai. He had a broken leg. It's all healed now and he's doing much better"

"And the person who was in the room with us waiting for Professor Kato? Who were they?"

"We never found out. After the chaos we never saw them again." Miriallia couldn't help but wonder if they were even a she. They had never saw their face or any defining features. They could have been anyone.

He caressed her cheek tenderly, she closed her eyes. His touch… she missed it so much. Yet it felt empty somehow even fake. She opened her eyes and looked at him. For a moment the blond haired coordinator's face flashed before her. "He's not real" she told herself. "This is real. Tolle is alive, he's what is real."

"You should get some rest" He said removing his hand from her face.

"I've been resting for three months." She replied.

"Maybe some sleep will help you make sense of all this. Help the fantasy fade away."

"What if I don't want it to" She thought. "Okay. If you think that is what is right" She said. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Once he knew she was fast asleep he got up and left the room.

At A Secret Facility at an Unknown Location

"Vital signs are stabilizing." A man said as he continued to type on the computer. He looked up and across the room. There in a pod was a young girl with mid-length auburn hair. Her eyes were closed tight and she was hooked to several machines. She was naked, her arms and legs covered in burns that were healing and a bandage around her head. It was none other than Miriallia Haww.

"How is the memory replacement proceeding" a second man asked.

"It is on a bit rocky at the moment Gayle. She seems to be fighting the procedure."

"Increase the gamma glipheptin."

"If we keep increasing it she could die from overexposure" He warned.

"Do it Xavier. We need this to be a success if we want access to both Orb and the PLANTs. This woman is the key to it all. We need her to become our most efficient Extend no matter what."

Inside Miriallia's Mind

Tolle pushed Miriallia in her wheelchair down the hall. She had slept for a few hours. When she woke up Dr. Joule informed her she had an appointment with the shrink. Tolle offered to take her down and wait outside. Once they were at his office Tolle pushed he in the room to wait for the doctor.

"You sure you want to wait here by yourself?"

"Yes the secretary said he'll be here soon. Besides it might be good for me to have some time to gather my thoughts." Tolle helped her onto the couch before he kissed her on the head and left the room.

Miriallia waited in the empty room by herself for a while. Her mind was clouded with thoughts of her fantasy world. In that world she had faced so many tragedies and yet at the same time she was so happy. She had fallen in love with someone, and although things didn't work out between them he would always be the love of her life. She had a career. A career she never thought she would go for. But that life was not her at all. It was someone she had evolved into through the things she had experienced.

She was broken from her thoughts when the door suddenly opened. "Sorry I'm late" The young doctor said. He was dressed in jeans, a light blue button up short sleeve shirt and tie. "Today was my day off, I didn't expect to be called in" He said smiling. "But when Yzak Joule says he needs me I know it must be important" He tilted his head and looked at her. She looked so shocked. "Are you okay…" He looked at his chart to see her name "Miriallia?"

"You're… You're" She couldn't manage to get the words out.

"Young? I know. Boy genius I guess. I skipped a couple of years back in grade school. Allowed me to finish sooner and start a career young" He explained. "Sorry I'm rambling. You're not here to listen to me, I'm here to listen to you" he joked as he reached his hand out to shake hers. "Dr. Dearka Elsman at your service"

She looked up and him surprised before holding her hand up and shaking it. "It's nice to meet you" She said. His hand felt different. There weren't the nervous sparks there always were with Dearka. It was like shaking the hand of a stranger. A stranger she had absolutely no chemistry with.

He released her hand and sat down. He quickly scanned through her chart to get and idea of what he was dealing with. He set the chart down and leaned forward. "So you've just woke up from a long coma and you're having trouble accepting the difference between the real world and the fantasy you created" he said. "From Yzak's… I mean Dr. Joule's notes you've even inserted him as well as his nurse into this world."

"Yes" She said reluctantly. She couldn't stop staring at him. This was him. The man she had been in love with in her fantasy world. The man who always made her pain go away. The man she could always tell everything to.

"You're boyfriend made some statements as well about your mental state when you woke up. Apparently you told him he had been dead for three years, that he died in the first war."

"Yes"

"Miriallia I'm gonna need a little more details then a yes there honey." Honey. He said it the same way he did the first time, well the first time in her fantasy world.

"I don't really know what you want me to say"

"I want you to say whatever you feel you need to." He explained. He leaned back in his chair. "Why don't you tell me in a nutshell this world you lived in. What happened that lead to his death? What happened to you after?"

"You really want to know all that. We only have an hour right."

"You're off the clock. Take as long as you need. The important thing is your recovery not time"

Miriallia took a deep breath and looked around the room. It was so empty, all except for his desk. It was so neat and tidy. Not at all like the Dearka she knew. The Dearka she knew alway had a messy desk. "It that… in my fantasy world we weren't hit by a meteor we were attacked by ZAFT"

"Heliopolis is a neutral nation. Why would ZAFT attack?" He asked trying to get her to continue.

"Because of the Gundam's that were hidden here. They wanted control of them…" Miriallia and Dearka talked back and forth for almost an hour. She told him how she became a soldier. About the four ZAFT soldiers who pursued them. How one of them was killed which eventually lead to Tolle's death soon after. "In that battle we had captured one of the ZAFT soldiers. And he became from that point on a major part of my life"

"You told Dr. Joule that he was a ZAFT soldier. Was he the one your crew captured?"

"No… It was you" She said looking him in the eyes. He was surprised. He didn't realize he was part of her fantasy as well.

"So what was my significance other that a captured soldier?"

"When we met I was grieving. Things happened… bad things. Eventually I was given orders to realize you when the EAF forces attacked Orb. I thought I would never see you again… but you came back. You saved us, from that point on you fought alongside us until the final battle."

"So in this world I was not only in it but important."

"Yes you were"

"How about you tell me about the final battle of the war. If that were to happen, a final battle, it would be significant. I can't help but think maybe there is some significant for you as well in it."

"It was a long battle. So much pain and loss. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me. The sky was lighting up with blasts from foe and friend alike. Everyone kept screaming for Kira hoping he was okay. It seemed like nobody cared what was happening to you… I mean… the fantasy Dearka." She started to accept it all for what it was.. a fantasy. Maybe it was because hearing it all out loud sounded crazy. "The ZAFT soldier who deflected to protect us. The soldier who saved us in Orb. He was being brutally attacked. I thought he was going to die out there. But... nobody cared" She closed her eyes. The events of that day played through her head like a movie. Every detail was so vividly engraved in her mind. "Somehow he lived. A former comrade of his, Yzak, saved his life and brought him back to the ARCHANGEL. He was injured but that didn't stop him from coming to the bridge. From being by my side, where he stayed until it all ended."

"How did it feel to have him there next to you when it all ended?"

"Confusing. I wanted him there and at the same time far away from me. I didn't like the feelings I was starting to feel for him so soon after losing Tolle. But there was something exciting and incredible about him."

"After the war did he continue to be in your life"

"He was gone for a while. He went back to the PLANTs and became a soldier again. But then he came back for me. We spent as much time as possible together. Many times it was just short visits, emails and phone calls but it was better than nothing. But that all ended when I became a war photographer. He didn't support it. He thought it was dangerous for me. It made me angry that he thought he could boss me around. We got in a fight and broke up. We didn't talk after that. Six months later the second war started. It wasn't until a month or so after that that we began speaking again. And it was like we never stopped."

"Miriallia… Do you want my opinion on all this? What this whole elaborate fantasy was about?" He asked.

"That's why I'm here aren't I. To help get rid of the fantasy"

"Honestly I don't think you can ever truly get rid of the fantasy. Because it is your true desire. I'm not saying you some sexual fantasy towards me. We've only just met, officially anyways. I've seen you while you were in your hospital bed. I'm sure you've noticed from the way I refer to Dr. Joule we are more than colleagues. We've been friends since we were kids. Which is why from time to time I would visit him in your room. That is how my face would have entered your fantasy. For weeks you were slipping in and out of consciousness. As for the fantasy itself I think it represents your desire for something more in your life. You almost died. If the load that hit your head hit you at a slightly different angle you wouldn't be here right now. After experiencing something like that your body is craving the adrenaline. You want adventure. Dating your high school boyfriend isn't exciting, but dating Romeo is."

"Romeo?"

"A boy from an opposing side of a grand feud. This guy, the Dearka in that world, he is a coordinator and a ZAFT soldier. You are a natural and were a EAF soldier. You couldn't be more opposite and opposing but it was exciting right?"

"I guess… but I don't get what you are trying to tell me"

"This fantasy was just a way for your brain to spice up your life a bit. You've been living a very safe life. You're 16, it's what is expected of you. But I think going forward in your life you're going to want to more and more to fill it with adventure. And that can get dangerous" He reached over to his side table and grabbed his pad of paper. He started writing something down. He ripped the page of the pad of paper and handed it to her. "I'm going to recommend you see me at least twice a week for the foreseeable future."

Miriallia reached up and took the page from him. "So you think I'm crazy?"

"No, I just think you need someone to talk to. I've talked to many people about their dreams and the fantasy world they created during their coma's. It's my area of expertise. But never have I heard something so elaborate. I think you have some unresolved issues you need to deal with."

"Thanks… for wanting to help me. I know you're not him. He was just a fantasy. Maybe it's because of your face or voice, but you're so easy to talk to."

"That's good… because we'll be spending a lot of time together" he said smiling at her.

At A Secret Facility at an Unknown Location

"The memory replacement procedure is start to take effect. She is starting to accept the new reality."

"Excellent. Then it time. Flip the switch on her new happy world. Turn it upside down. Let her hatred for coordinators start and grow to consume her" Gayle said smirking with an evil look on his face.

Inside Miriallia's Mind

It had been a few weeks that Miriallia had been seeing Dr. Elsman. In that time she had stopped referring to the fantasy. She had fully accepted it to be just that. She decided to move on from it. Most of their sections now were about her physical recovery and about her relationship with her family and friends. She had to learn to walk again. It was frustrating although her physiotherapist Dr. Zala and his assistant Mr. Amalfi were very patient with her. Dearka helped her through it as well on the mental side of things. She was all around getting better. She felt like a new girl. Like she could do anything.

She sat on the couch looking at Dr. Elsman but today he seem distracted. "Is everything ok?" She asked. He seemed to be watching the clock.

His eyes looked over to her but he never moved his head. "Yeah sure. Just… I have a later engagement to attend to. I just want to make sure I'm not late." He said before turning his head towards her. "Not that I want to rush you or anything. So what did you want to talk to me about today?"

"It's just… I know we haven't talked about that fantasy world of mine in a while… but… I can't help but notice how many Doctors and assistants I worked with that were ZAFT soldiers in my dream. You guys all seem so young to be in these positions. It would make sense if you were all coordinators… but you're not. You're all naturals right?"

"Maybe that is why in the fantasy we were the coordinators. You saw us as these youthful people who couldn't possibly be who we said we were." He looked up at the clock and smiled. "You know skepticism and curiosity can kill you know"

"What are you saying?" she asked a little creeped out about how he said it.

He looked her in the eyes "Tick tock goes the clock little mouse." He didn't sound like himself. Suddenly the calm, kind doctor was replaced with someone filled with arrogance.

"Dr Elsman…" She was about to question him again when the whole building began to shake. Sirens began to go off just like in her fantasy world. She stood up and looked behind her towards the back window. "What the hell's going on!" She screamed. She was about to turn around when she heard the click of the safety being taken off on a handgun.

"Finally… I was getting tired off all the bullshit." Dearka said. "You know you did get one thing right. We are ZAFT… and we're here for the GUNDAMs" he admitted before pulling the trigger several times. Miriallia fell hard to the floor as everything started to go black.

At A Secret Facility at an Unknown Location

"Memory replacement complete"