Summary: In which the gum is a little less literal but is at the same time and the world can only watch in horror.

I had this idea when I was bored and decided to just run with it. I like it. How 'bout you?

I do not own one Piece.

He could only stare in horror at what had befallen the Marine Captain. Sure he had seen him in action before but the straw hat wearing boy hadn't mentioned a devil fruit or displayed any of its abilities.

He couldn't help but wish it had stayed that way.

He could tell that the 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro felt the same. Truly it was a disgusting and horrible sight that would leave anybody in a fright.

You just didn't do that!

But the messy haired individual named Luffy who chewed gum like it was part of his religion had done so, and he wished frantically in his head that he had never met the boy. He was slightly glad the wish wouldn't come true because despite it being a terrible sight spending years with Alvida was way worse.

That didn't mean he wanted to stick around with the pipe wielding weirdo for any longer.

A pink bubble was popped by the perfect teeth of Monkey D. Luffy who juggled what he had stolen from the majority of Marines.

The Marine's in question had their hands on their mouths and clutching their faces like one would clutch their jewels after being kicked.

But that was, unfortunately, not the case.

And they seemed to agree if the one sobbing was anything to go on.

In the hands of the grinning thief who wished to gain the name of Pirate King were multiple full sets of gums, rowed with the teeth that had once been in the each of the Marines mouths.

The Captain had it worse though, if that was possible, because instead of them simply being removed the boy had placed them back inside his mouth. Like connecting a lego with another lego. Only his gums were now filled with worms, dirt, and other bugs that were very clearly still alive. Courtesy of the ground.

Though, Coby supposed, if the boy was able to steal the One Piece like he did those teeth he wouldn't have any trouble becoming the Pirate King.

So instead of becoming a Marine the pinkette had decided to become a Pirate.

And while he certainly didn't want to stay with the teeth stealing boy any longer...

...He was kind of(completely)terrified of being against him.

The cat loving pirate found himself without teeth before he even knew what hit him, much like the fate of Buggy the Clown.

Coby didn't like talking about it.

He could feel that he wouldn't like to talk about a lot of things to come in the near(too near) future.

At least he had someone to be scared with.

Even if they were a liar.

Mihawk had taken one look at the mutilated faces of the pirates that he was hunting for sport and promptly turned around.

He didn't know who did it but he most certainly didn't want to be a part of it.

He fought the green haired idiot in a span of five seconds, preceded to tell him to shut up and figure out who was stronger and got as far away from there as possible.

He would later learn from a certain red head with three scars over one eye that it was caused by the same little boy he had heard so many stories about.

Who just left out the part where they accidently fed a kid a devil fruit that gave him the power to tear out peoples faces?!

Shanks did.

The fishman whose nose had been destroyed beyond repair was the least of his worries. Nami was happy with his destruction and the safety of her village and while she didn't think what happened to Arlong was too much...

(There was nothing that would ever be enough.)

...but both her and Coby had to agree that when Luffy hung the large tooth around his neck that it was a little(only a little) wrong.

Zoro was used to it by now. Usopp thought it was cool as long as he didn't mess with his teeth and Sanji...

Well, Sanji was already cooking Arlong's body while humming an all too happy tune.

He didn't get the title of Straw Hat.

No.

He was 'Tooth Fairy' Monkey D. Luffy.

He hit Usopp over the head with his pipe when he laughed.

Normally he would of gone after him...

But Smoker really liked his teeth.

To prove his point to the higher ups he quit smoking.

They got the message and Monkey D. Luffy's bounty was raised to 50 million.

The wax user really should of known better.

He really should of.

Coby had tried spreading rumors but nobody ever seemed to listen to him.

Thankfully the little girl whose fingers were smudged with paint seemed to have gotten the message.

She joined the crew out of fear as well. Vivi was too kind to blame a kid so she didn't mind having her along(she was secretly afraid too)and welcomed her presence.

And thus Kaiyo, once known as Miss Golden Week joined the Straw Hat Pirates.

The winter island passed with only one set of teeth. Wapol's teeth.

Kureha was interested in the way they stretched to fit Wapol's meals so she took them as part of her payment.

Chopper didn't say much on the matter which they were all thankful for.

At least this adventure didn't have too many teeth.

It was too much to ask that it stayed that way.

Coby gave a shiver of disgust at the man named Crocodile (though he suspected that wasn't his real name) who was on the other side of the cage he was trapped in.

It wasn't because the man himself was disgusting. No it was because the man had been beaten in the must horrendous way possible by the jolly boy he called Captain.

Teeth shining in the wild haired boys hand Luffy gave a grin.

"I think I'm gonna keep these."

And thus the Captain gained a hobby.

Collecting teeth.

Robin had taken one look at the sight, smiled, and asked to join his crew with promises of stopping the Revolution and calling off the other Baroque Work Members.

He loved his brother.

He truly did.

But...

He looked busy right now.

Besides-! He would get to meet him some other time.

Just... not right now.

Nami and Kaiyo refused to speak of the incident when they returned from the trip to town. Coby wasn't the only one confused.

Luffy and Zoro just shared a look that was far to amused to make them feel comfortable.

He passed himself off as a god.

Luffy begged to differ.

The people of Skypiea had fallen in love and everybody else just stared in horrified wonder.

"Psh, horrible teeth." And he threw the pair over his shoulder. Chopper while still thinking it a horrible thing to do had gone over to look at them.

"...They are pretty bad teeth."

Luffy was crowned God.

The Government really, REALLY should of known better. But no they still did it.

They stole Robin.

He didn't like thinking about it.

He really didn't understand it himself.

It all happened so fast it left him asking, "How?" He was scared of the answer.

But the square faced Usopp and bath woman who made too many innuendos joined the crew with horrified stares and whimpers.

Kaiyo and him tried to help them the best they could.

It didn't work all that well.

Robin wasn't exactly helping either.

The point proven further when she flashed them a dark smile and the cover of her book.

Dentistry.

Franky thought it hilarious. Chopper, Nami, and Usopp just didn't even try anymore.

Sanji and Zoro...?

They both grinned darkly.

Luffy had stared at the skeleton with a look of wonder.

Kaku and Kalifa didn't really mind him, it was Luffy they were worried about. They doted on him to the point of being annoying in an attempt to keep him from taking their teeth. That was the ultimate reason why he decided to do so.

Only to miss and catch Brook in his ability.

"Eh? Why didn't it work?" He didn't mean to in the first place but he was confused why it hadn't done anything.

"Well you see..." The skeleton paused for effect. "I'm just all bones! Yohohohoho! Skull Joke!"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed at the joke with tears in his eyes, forgetting all about his failed attempt on Kaku's and Kalifa's teeth.

Apparently he could only take the teeth of people with gums.

"Hey, join my crew!"

"Very well."

The pair didn't know whether to be relieved or horrified.

They decided on relieved.

The fight with Moria was majorly one sided.

Sanji and Kalifa easily kicked all the zombie goons into the slashes of Kaku, Zoro, and Brook. After which Nami and Franky combined attacks to electrocute them, anybody they missed Kaiyo and Robin held them still so Chopper and Usopp could shove salt down their throats.

Oz was given Zoro's shadow. Later proved to be a mistake on Moria's part. The giant had gotten lost.

When the sun had arisen they found Zoro still alive.

The giant had been discovered to have fallen into the ocean and swallowed too much saltwater.

Luffy and Moria...

Let's just say that Luffy had a new pair of teeth to add to his collection.

Coby really didn't want to elaborate.

He was the only one from the crew to have watched the battle on the other side of the fake island and if he had been asked he would of crumpled into a ball at the memory.

Thankfully for him no one asked.

They really didn't want to know.

Kuma wished he hadn't seen it either.

When he told Dragon about it he only mentioned that it had something to do with a pipe, a frog, an old sock, and a pair of dentures.

He seemed to shiver at anything related to teeth from that day onward.

Law and Kidd hadn't given the kid much thought. They didn't need to.

The joyful mermaid, the shivering pinkette and once high positioned Assassins left in a whimpering mess plus the nobles with teeth in places that shouldn't be mentioned was enough.

More than enough.

They just turned a blind eye, which wasn't hard considering they were pirates.

Kuma stared at the group once again.

With a glance at the crazy Captain he decided quickly.

His crew deserved a vacation.

A very long vacation.

When he arrived on the island he proceeded to steal the teeth of many women and animals alike.

He didn't expect to steal more than just teeth.

They didn't know how she thought it hot.

But she did.

And if anybody said otherwise they were certain to be beaten to a bloody pulp.

When he decided to go after his brother she decided to give him a good luck gift.

But what?

Something blue, something old and something new.

She had heard that's what you needed for a proper wedding ceremony!

So the Worlds Most Beautiful Woman presented him with a pile of Cobalt 5 gum she had stolen from the marines that came to pick her up, Elder Nyon(much to the womans frustration), and the teeth of the huge panther that he had defeated in the ring. A bit of blood and gum was left on it, still fresh, and he had stared at it with a grin.

"Just the way I like it!"

He didn't know whether to be happy or afraid when his little brother came.

When he stole Oz Jr's teeth and used them as missiles to hit the Marines before giving them back to the giant he had easily come to a conclusion.

He should be afraid.

Boa Hancock wasn't helping when she encouraged the boy that was his younger brother.

Seriously how did she find that hot?!

He smashed the pipe into the lava mans face. The Marines had expected it to melt as their Admiral turned to lava but that wasn't the case.

In fact his ability didn't even work at all.

The pipe smashed his face in and the Admiral crumpled to the floor.

The Marines lost all will to fight at the sight of one of their leaders dead.

He could harden the pipe to the same durability as teeth he announced with a confident grin.

Nobody corrected him that it was actually Haki.

His grandfather just laughed.

The only reason Rayleigh had suggested training him was because he really felt pity.

For the boys crew.

It was the least he could do in all honesty.

Two years vacation was all that he would be able to give them.

He didn't think he'd last much longer.

Bellamy had taken one look at Straw Hat before letting out a decidedly girly scream. He had begun to run but fainted before he could get very far.

Sabo was confused but decided quickly that he didn't care.

He finally had his brothers back!

Albeit he could of done without the teeth collecting part and the beautiful girlfriend who encouraged it way too much.

The majority of his crew only sighed in acceptance.

The ones who didn't sigh were the pirate hunter, the curly browed blonde, and Robin.

The CP9 fellows, the pinkette, the Painter girl, and the long nosed one(was he even apart of his crew?)simply settled on shuddering instead.

Law didn't care so long as Doflamingo was dead.

And perhaps toothless.

Yes... perhaps...

And he gave a dark smile that put Sanji's and Zoro's to shame.