Definitely going to be more in this verse, so gimme all the promptings/"omg but what if this happened?" and I shall make our dreams come true. (I've got another in this verse on the way actually because I received an odd prompt shortly after this and decided to incorporate it into this idea.) Would you guys like to see them posted in this as seperate chapters despite the fact that they'll jump back and forth in terms of time setting or as separate stories when posted here? Either way this shall always remain marked complete.

Also this is short as hell. I know. Taite's finally learning how not to write a novel every time she opens her laptop.

Requested by Anonymous: Malec "what the actual fuck"

It's a fairly average day, as far as days go. He's gone hunting with Jace and Isabelle and even played nice with Clary for a few hours. There's a slim new scar on his hand still healing with the iratze his parabatai drew him and he's going to have to make a few new arrows tomorrow, but there's not a single occurrence that falls into the "out of the ordinary" category.

Which is why when he pushes through the door to their loft, toeing his shoes off and removing his gear along the way, he isn't expecting anything but Magnus either curled on the couch with a good book on demonic possession or perhaps even out with a client. This is not at all what he actually gets.

"What the actual fuck?" he declares, dropping his stele in shock because there is his boyfriend covered head to toe in bright blue paint and silver glitter, holding a freaking baby out full Lion King style.

Magnus blinks at him, looking mildly discomfited, before he goes for the award-winning grin and purs out a smooth, "Alec, darling. You're home."

Either Magnus thinks he doesn't notice the glaring obvious, or he's trying to make him forget what's staring him right in the face like something out of a terrifying Disney movie. It doesn't matter either way, really. Alec is most certainly not fucking having it.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demands, folding his arms across his chest and raising an expectant eyebrow.

"Oh, you mean this?" Magnus replies innocently, drawing the infant (the actual freaking child) out of the Lion King pose and more into a cradling type position a few inches away from his paint-coated chest.

"Yes," Alec snaps irritably. "That."

His boyfriend's smile is almost sheepish this time, so close Alec is almost satisfied, and he's peering up at the shadowhunter through his lashes when he offers in a questioning tone, "We're having a baby?"

Which- what the fuck? Last time he checked their biology didn't constitute making actual children and they haven't exactly discussed this before and oh dear God no. "Please tell me you're not talking about that baby. Tell me you're not actually being serious here."

Magnus hesitates, stroking the child's arm almost as though to use it as a way in which to ward off Alec's growing impatience. "And if I were?" he questions slowly, wincing in preparation for the backlash he knows he's about to receive.

Alec groans, throwing his hands up into the air in uncontrollable exasperation and muttering out a grumbled, "I'm done, I'm so done," before making his way past his supposed boyfriend and child to their bedroom down the hall. He can hear Magnus padding along behind him, probably trying to discern the best way to both return to his good graces and explain himself, but he ignores him in favour of throwing open their door and smacking the light switch on.

And then letting out a scream of frustration because oh, that's where the paint came from and was that supposed to be a freaking crib? Alec thinks it was supposed to be a freaking crib.

"I can explain!" Magnus cuts in quickly from behind him. Alec whirls on him with a vicious look in his eyes.

"Oh, yes," he grinds out between clenched teeth. "You are going to explain, alright."

His boyfriend at least has the decency to look mildly terrified at that.

Uh oh. Mags need to learn to give a little warning before he adopts their children.

Also, go check out my 146 Things To Do Besides Self-Harm (/tagged/146things) drabble shindig I've got going on tumblr either at taitewrites (my way more organized writing blog) or gideongraystairs (my main blog where I do what I feel like in moderation bc yodo) Love you!

Reviews are music and I like to dance *sways awkwardly behind the mic*