Disclaimer (for this and all subsequent chapters): I own nothing, it all belongs to Paramount. For the moment I am just the temporary puppeteer.

Author's Note: Hello there! My name is not immediately recognizable to this section for good reason: this is my very first Voyager fic. I'm a fairly new fan, I first came to the series through loving Kate Mulgrew on "Orange is the New Black" but immediately fell in love with Voyager after being an avoider of most science fiction shows most of my life. It didn't take long after that to become a diehard J/Cer, their chemistry is amazing and their love story adorable. So sad that it wasn't allowed to flourish during the show, but that's what makes me so grateful for the Golden/Beyer relaunch novels. I know their not technically considered canon but hey, they follow the books written by one of the creators of the show so that is definitely canon enough for me!

That having been said, I do love the relaunch books but holy bejeebas have they gotten a tad bit depressing! It seems like poor Kathryn and Chakotay can't catch a break in them. To that end, I decided to write this little idea to give them the happy ending I think they deserve, before Atonement comes out and possibly continues with the angst. Not that I have any problem with angst, but I think it's about time for some happy times for our favorite couple. So I wrote this to fix everything up not only with J/C but with some of the other relationships that I was sad to see fall by the way side (Kathryn/Tuvok, Kathryn/Q, etc.). Obviously there will be some spoilers and references to the relaunch novels (Homecoming through Acts of Contrition) and there are also a couple of references to the String Theory trilogy (which is technically a part of the universe since it was mentioned briefly in Eternal Tide and if you haven't read them, I recommend it! Seriously great J/C moments, especially in the part written by Beyer) and one tiny reference to the Star Trek Myriad Universe novel. The story can be enjoyed without knowing the novels in depth, but it definitely helps to have read them.

Oh and I didn't bother going into detail about how they got Kathryn back after she was kidnapped by that tribune led by Kashyk in the end of Acts of Contrition. I'm sure it'll be resolved way better than anything I can come up with in Atonement and admittedly I'm not all that up to speed on exactly what is up with that whole situation (my mind is only able to fully wrap itself around the J/C parts of the books, hee hee!) so please just assume they got her back in an awesomely dramatic fashion and everyone gets home safely.

Oh and one more note! This story is complete because I didn't want to risk going back to work in the fall and not having time to finish it, and admittedly it's way longer than I anticipated. So please, feel free to peruse at your leisure. :)

And now I apologize for this incredibly long author's note and shall now leave you to your reading. I hope you enjoy!

Kathryn Janeway is being lazy.

Which is miraculous, really. In all her 46 years of life, the name 'Kathryn Janeway' and 'lazy' never occupied the same realm, let alone the same sentence. She has always been an over-achiever, determined to be the very best in all that she did, even if it meant sacrificing things like leisure and personal pleasures.

But now, as Kathryn stretches languidly but cautiously, ever mindful of the strong, tan arm thrown across her midsection, she looks over at the chronometer on her nightstand to see that it is already well after 1000 hours, and yet she has no intention of getting up from her cozy haven of warm comforters and an even warmer bedmate.

Kathryn looks over at Chakotay and smiles at his still sleeping form. They've been occasionally sleeping in late like this for about two months now, and it's probably the longest amount of time either one of them has had the luxury of such late mornings in their entire lives. But ever since they returned from that fateful second trip to the Delta Quadrant to try and negotiate a treaty between the native alien species in the quadrant they had unintentionally come to know so very well, it seems only appropriate that they be allowed this brief respite from their usual workaholic ways.

Because just like many times during their first foray into the unknown regions of space, this mission had also been an unqualified disaster. They barely managed to get Kathryn back from the grasps of a coalition of hostile aliens that blamed her for their many plights, Kashyk being chief among them, before she was to be unceremoniously executed for their twisted pleasure. After that, Starfleet decided to pull back the troops until new negotiations and uses for the latest slipstream drive technology could be devised.

She heard rumors of using it to return to the Delta Quadrant yet again, but this time for mostly goodwill missions to struggling species. She could possibly get behind that project, but frankly she is still a bit miffed at how this past mission had gone down. She had been against going back to the Delta Quadrant to begin with, had vehemently railed against it at the various HQ meetings, had even sacrificed her own life exploring that damn Borg cube just to ensure that there would be no need to send her loved ones back to the quadrant that had been so intent on killing them the first time around. Why should the second time have been any different?

Kathryn sighs, quietly of course. She hates it when her mind takes her to these dark places, even after two months has passed of the three-month leave she and Chakotay were granted upon their return. Aside from that three month stint at her mother's house when her abilities to command the Full Circle fleet were being questioned, she hadn't had any real break from her Starfleet duties since even before that initial fateful trip to the Badlands some eleven years ago. And she certainly never got a chance to spend it alone with the man she loved. She'll be damned if she lets stray negative thoughts like the ones she was just having creep up on her again, threatening to drag her back to that place of constant angst and guilt she had fought so hard to finally get past after all she has been through. She found peace and love, a peace and love she finally convinced herself she deserves. Now she fully intends on enjoying it. And enjoying it she most definitely is.

Kathryn smiles at that thought and surreptitiously scoots closer to Chakotay's side, careful not to wake him. She feels him stir, but only to pull her flush against him, back to chest, and burrow his head in her hair while mumbling something unintelligible. She sighs in pure bliss, content to revel in this moment for as long as it will last, just as she has every moment since this rare opportunity of alone time was granted to them.

Well, almost every moment.

The first few days after their return from the Delta Quadrant, they had been so busy with meetings and debriefings that they hardly had a chance to talk in depth with one another about all that they had been through, and Kathryn hadn't really minded all that much. She knew once things slowed down and they were finally left alone, there was a very good chance that they were going to be in for one hell of a fight.

And oh boy was it ever a fight.

Starfleet had finally decided to recognize them as a legitimate couple and not some scandalous affair to be kept in the dark, so per their request they had issued them both just one large apartment near headquarters. Kathryn was thrilled, they had discussed and agreed that separate quarters were unnecessary since they were both committed to making this relationship permanent, and she was happy that they were able to get their new living arrangement settled so soon. But the moment the doors closed to their new quarters and they were at last alone as a real couple, the tension mounted to almost warp core breach level.

Then the yelling had started.

Chakotay went off first, and as she knew he would, and now she admits she really can't blame him. He railed against her for sacrificing herself yet again to forces that were intent on killing her. Chastised her for not even stopping to think about what it would do to him after spending those fourteen months thinking she was dead, or not even considering how many other people would have been willing to take her place to keep her safe.

Still, even though the more logical part of her knew he was just lashing out at her out of residual worry, grief, and fear, she was not one to be outdone, and so she shot right back, telling him he was being blinded by his emotions and that deep down he knew she had no other choice. To not go would have been selfish, and something she could not abide.

It snowballed from there rather quickly. Names were thrown that were just a toe above too harsh, accusations were made that crossed the line into unfair.

And it didn't just stop at the latest mission. Riley, Kashyk, Scorpion, Equinox, Seven, it was all thrown down like virtual gauntlets between them. Even things that they had promised each other they had understood, like his brainwashed assassination attempt against her when he was controlled by Teero, or her getting assimilated by that Borg cube in an attempt to spare them all, were thrown up as weapons against one another again, splicing open old wounds only to have them bleed out as screams and curses at each other.

When all was said and done, silence followed. They had thrown out every old hurt, brought up every pain each had caused the other, until there was nothing left but quietly simmering rage and the lingering question of what now?

Looking back, Kathryn knew it was all a long time coming. They never really got a chance to bring up all these things with each other in that painfully honest way that's needed to finally get past them. It was cathartic really, to be so open and honest with each other. She found the rage slowly ebbing out of her, even if she wasn't ready to show it yet.

But then had she noticed something. Chakotay wasn't really looking at her anymore, at least not at her eyes. His gaze had dropped down to her chest, which was heaving from the exertion of yelling and all the pacing she had been doing while yelling, then it had raked down the length of her figure and finally back up to her eyes. A new fire burned in his own eyes, not born of the anger he had had for her, but a whole other kind that she had become very familiar with ever since Proxima.

"Chakotay," she had practically growled.

"Damn you, Kathryn," he had growled right back. Then before she knew it, he had had her crushed up against a wall, and they were kissing as if they were trying to devour each other whole. Clothes were ripped off in indecent haste, then Kathryn had vaguely registered herself being swept up into his arms even as their searing exploration of each other's mouths never ceased. He practically tossed her on the bed and pounced on her, instantly silencing any logical voices in her mind that said they still had a bit of discussing left to do.

They made love as they had never had before. Fiercely. Achingly. They clung to each other as if even when connected they couldn't get close enough, like they wanted to climb completely inside of each other and reside whole bodily in there right along with their each other's hearts and souls. Kathryn had known for some time now how completely she loved this man who was ravaging her, but for the first time she realized just how desperately he loved her back, more than she thought she could ever deserve. The realization was transcendent, and it took her to heights of ecstasy that brought tears cascading down her cheeks when it was over. She clung to her lover, her life, and tried to quell them before he thought he had done something wrong. But they were dripping onto Chakotay's chest in rapid succession as he soothed her with gentle caresses.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he choked, his own tears hitting her hair. "I'm sorry for every damn thing I said." Kathryn shook her head in protest.

"Please don't be. We said everything we needed to say to each other to finally move forward. To be completely ourselves. I never want you to regret that, Chakotay. I never want you to be afraid to be honest with me."

"Neither do I, Kathryn." He sighed. "It's just so hard after so many years of hiding from you. From my feelings for you."

"I know, and I'm sorry for that too. I know it was mostly my fault. Me and my damn parameters…"

"It was both our faults, Kathryn. I understood your reasons while on Voyager, especially after that night in Venice on the holodeck. But I should have tried harder after we got back. I had promised myself very early into our journey that I would be the first in line over the walls of your heart when we got back home. Instead I spent the better part of a year too terrified that you'd reject me to even try."

"That's not entirely true. You also spent it flirting with that captain I had to use my Admiralty clout to keep from sniffing around you anymore," she teased to break some of the tension. She gave him that crooked smile she knew he loved and he chuckled.

"I always thought that abrupt course change for her ship seemed a little too convenient," Chakotay joked feebly, then he sighed. "One of the things that kept running through my mind those fourteen months that I lost you was how much time we wasted. I hated everything for it. Myself. The Delta Quadrant. Starfleet. Seven. Even that damn Yaris Nebula that kept me from spending every night with you after that first night."

Kathryn swallowed hard as her own regrets came back full force. "I'm so sorry, Chakotay."

"You don't have to be sorry. I know that by exploring that Borg cube you were just trying to protect us, to protect me, the only way you knew how. I may have been angry with you at first, but it's only because I realized something…"

He paused for so long that Kathryn thought he wasn't going to tell her. Then he took in a deep breath.

"I realized that even if I lived a hundred lifetimes with you, it still wouldn't be enough."

She gasped at the lovely confession and clung to him even tighter. "I know exactly what you mean," she whispered into his neck as he dropped kisses into her hair.

"But I meant what I said to you back on New Earth," Chakotay told her. "I won't sacrifice the present waiting for a future that might not ever happen. It goes for the good and the bad. I'll always be terrified of losing you, Kathryn. You own too much of me to keep that from going away. But getting to be here right now, holding you, making love to you, even after losing you for too long, it's the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I refuse to let anything get in the way of this happiness. I just want to be with you, for as long as the Spirits will let me. It may never be enough, but I'll make it enough."

She was crying in earnest then, overcome by the depth and breadth of her own feelings for this man. This wonderful man who saw every bit of her and still wanted to be with her always, and she with him. She couldn't imagine any other way she wanted to spend the remainder of her days. Being with him would be more than enough for her too.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him until the need for air couldn't be ignored, then looked deeply into his eyes. "You have me, Chakotay. My love. My body. My soul. You have all of me." His eyes shone with love and tears as he grinned that beautiful dimpled grin of his.

"Always?" he asked her. She grinned right back.

"Always."

Chakotay smiles surreptitiously as a warm, wiggly body scoots ever closer to him, obviously trying to be sneaky about it out of courtesy to what she presumes to be her still slumbering partner. He stirs only slightly and takes the opportunity to fit Kathryn more snuggly against him before sighing and continuing his deep breathing so she won't suspect that he's been awake for a lot longer than she has. If she catches on she'll wake up fully, and then she'll want coffee. Coffee is in the kitchen, not here in Chakotay's arms. That just won't do.

So he happily clings to her and lets her sigh and wriggle around all she wants while pretending to still be asleep. He knows he only has fifteen minutes tops before she gets truly restless and wakes him up. He doesn't blame her, really. These late, lazy mornings are so out-of-character for them both, and he's sure if they'd been forced to take more than three months of it they would both go stir-crazy eventually. But after years of constant work and stress and pressure, he's extremely grateful for this brief respite and thinks they should take full advantage of it before their hectic work lives start up again, her especially given her Herculean work ethic. If getting her to relax for as long as she can means holding her hostage from her liquid vice, so be it. Not that he hates having to hold her anyway. Quite the opposite actually.

A restless Kathryn turns slowly in his arms and begins to trail mischievous fingers up and down his bare chest. It takes every ounce of Chakotay's self-control not to grin outright, wanting to enjoy the feel of her loving ministrations a little while longer. They've been an exclusive couple for almost three years now, technically, if you included those fourteen horrible months that she had been "dead", but the thrill of having her in his bed and heart freely still hasn't even come close to fading, and in quiet times like these where he is surrounded by her intimacy, he is instantly transported back to where it all began.

The memory plays itself like a holovid in Chakotay's mind. He remembers exactly how Kathryn looked in the glow of the candlelight across his table on Proxima Station. He remembers the feel of her soft hand in his as he stood up and looked into her eyes, deciding once and for all to take the plunge into loving her fully and completely. He remembers her whispered words hazily puncturing the last of his coherent thoughts before he silenced her with a kiss, a kiss that was all at once deliciously familiar from their holographic Venice date years earlier but at the same time tantalizing new.

Chakotay remembers how tentative they had both been at first, each probably still afraid that the other would pull away at the last minute, at least that had been the fear on his part. But he also remembers the exact moment where it truly registered in his mind that Kathryn wasn't pushing him away, that she wasn't going to hide behind duty and protocol, that the Spirits had finally, finally blessed him with more than he had dared to ask for in a long, long time. Once her hands had found their way under the simple tunic he wore to touch the quivering skin of his back, he was a man lost forever.

Clothes went flying everywhere quickly after that, and he had swept Kathryn up into his arms like he had dreamed of doing a thousand times before and carried her into his bedroom. There was one last moment of hesitation after he laid her down on his bed and loomed over her, wanting to be absolutely certain that she wanted to take it that far so soon after their official confirmation of deeper feelings. She saw it immediately and gave him that crooked grin he would love forever, then pulled him down to her for a kiss that seared away all other thoughts but to show her all the love he had held for her for the better part of a decade.

After the first time, no words were spoken. Instead they lay on their sides, staring into each other's eyes and grinning like fools. Chakotay couldn't seem to stop touching her. He stroked her hair, her face, her arms, any part he could reach until the need to claim her again overwhelmed him and they made love a second time, more slowly than the first but in no way less passionate. Afterwards, Kathryn sighed deeply and snuggled into his arms.

"You know what's strange?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"How strange this doesn't feel."

"You expected this to feel strange?"

"Well, I wouldn't say strange, per say," she corrected herself. "Perhaps a bit more….unusual."

"I'm starting to think you were presuming I had some strange deformity or something," Chakotay teased, and she giggled.

"Unexpected, I guess I should say then. Like something seismic should have shifted when we finally got together. Or perhaps something should have felt awkward. But it doesn't."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed as he pulled her ever closer.

"It feels like I should have been here all along."

"Because you should have."

Kathryn twisted and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "But you know why we couldn't in the Delta Quadrant, right? I mean….you understand why…"

He kissed her before she could go too far down that familiar line of guilt-riddled thinking. "I do, Kathryn, I swear to you that I do. No anger or hidden resentments, I promise."

She grinned. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Fix what I'm going to worry about before I even worry about it?"

"Years of practice."

She smiled. "Worth the effort?"

Chakotay grinned and pulled the sheets away until her naked form was revealed to him yet again. "Most definitely."

The next few hours after that were a tizzy of delightful sensations for Chakotay. They made love. They talked. They laughed. They planned for Venice. But even though he is certain he will never forget that night, he also has a hard time recalling very specific details. He was so lost in a happy haze that the few hours they had together flew by in what seemed like minutes. He knows that they had fallen asleep at some point, though he can't remember exactly when, but he does remember with perfect clarity the burst of pure elation he had when he opened his eyes to see Kathryn's face in all it's wonderful beauty, her gorgeous blue eyes already staring back at him….but then instantly sobering when he registered the sadness they held.

"What's wrong, honey?" Chakotay asked, reaching out to stroke a lock of hair.

"It's after 0500. My shuttle leaves at 0630."

Sadness descended on him too like a heavy blanket.

"You'll be gone for a year," she told him needlessly.

"I know."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know."

"But I have to."

Chakotay sighed deeply. "I know that too."

She gave him a small smile. "You seem to know a lot this morning."

"You want to know something else I know?" He pulled her against him and started peppering light kisses on her lips.

"Hmm?"

"Last night was the best night of my life. And even though these next ten months will be the longest and probably dullest months of said life, the joy that being with you brought me will most definitely help me get through them." He grinned at her lecherously then. "As will memories of all this," he concluded as he gestured to her naked form. She grinned and punched him lightly.

"Dirty old man."

"Guilty as charged."

Kathryn laughed then, and Chakotay was happy he could make her, but she sobered again and started stroking his arm.

"You'll comm me, won't you?"

"Every chance I get," he promised.

"And you'll stay safe?"

"As safe as Tuvok is from Ferengi persuasion techniques."

"And you'll refrain from falling in love with any other intriguing former starship captains?" He chuckles.

"After being captured by the most intriguing and most beautiful former captains of them all, why would I bother?"

They had started kissing in earnest then and were just about to get lost in each other yet again when the thoughtless computer interrupted.

"The time is 0530."

"Damn," Kathryn muttered as she broke off a kiss and started getting up. "I asked the computer last night to warn me when it was 0530 in case we were otherwise…..distracted."

"A dirty trick if I ever saw one, Kathryn." Chakotay sat up too and watched as she flurried around the room, gathering up strewn articles of clothing and looking for her little travel case.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower then maybe we'll have time to at least have breakfast before I have to go."

"You know what'd really save time?" Chakotay asked, mustering his best innocent tone. "Showering together."

Kathryn paused in her clothes-gathering mission to level him a raised quizzical eyebrow. "Really? And tell me, Captain, how does this proposal of yours save us time, exactly?"

"Well, Admiral," he began seriously, "the way I see it, after you'd shower, I'd have to shower and that would mean you would have to replicate breakfast."

"A dangerous proposition," she replied in an equally serious tone.

"Indeed. And a proposition that would most likely result in some sort of roaring blaze, which would no doubt set off the internal sensors and alert a security team. Then they would have to come and rescue us from the inferno, and we'd be forced to fill out reports on the incident. Then, of course, we would have to retreat to my ready room and replicate you and I new uniforms, and an edible breakfast, and I'm more than certain all of this would culminate into you being tardy for your scheduled shuttle departure."

"More than likely."

"Plus, showering together now would save me the trouble of having to ravage you at the breakfast table later."

They both gave way to their grins after that. Kathryn dropped her clothes by the door and made a sweeping gesture towards the bathroom door.

"Then by all means, Captain, save me the time."

"Aye, Admiral." Chakotay leapt out of bed, grabbed Kathryn by her wrist, and pulled her into the bathroom as she giggled in delight. As it turned out, breakfast after that had to be a short affair.

When they were finished, they stopped just short of activating the doors and kissed ardently. Chakotay knew she had to leave, but after having her in all the ways he had always dreamed, and knowing that he wouldn't be able to again for another year thanks to a nebula he now loathed, he was reluctant to let her go.

"I have to go," she said between kisses.

"I know." He continued kissing her.

"I'll miss the shuttle."

"Who cares?"

"All of the admiralty. I have a meeting with them at noon."

"Let them do without their prettiest admiral for once." She laughed and pushed him away gently to halt his continued kisses.

"One year. After all this time of waiting for each other, we can wait just a little longer." Chakotay sighed.

"I suppose you're right. But I'll miss you all the same."

"And I you." She kissed him long and sweetly. "Comm me as soon as you can."

"I will."

"And be sure to make those hotel reservations for Venice early. They get crowded around June." He grinned.

"Still have a knack for giving me orders, I see."

"Also years of practice."

Kathryn finally stepped away from him and activated the door. It opened obediently and she stepped through, then turned to look at Chakotay once last time.

"You'll wait for me?" Chakotay smiled and leaned out of the door, bending to give her one last kiss in the empty hall.

"Always."

And he did.

He waited for her for a year during his dull foray into the Yaris Nebula. He waited for her during those fourteen horrible months when she was dead. He waited for her when their second mission to the Delta Quadrant tried to place a wedge between them.

And he's suspected he'd waited for her long before that too. The year and a half after they returned home before Proxima. The seven years in the Delta Quadrant. And his whole empty life before that.

But now the waiting is done. Now here Chakotay lays with her in his arms as she does delicious things to him with her fingers. He no longer has to wonder if she'll ever love him back, if she'll ever return to him. She's here, where she's always belonged, and nothing or no one is going to tear the complete and utter happiness of this moment away from him now.

With a smile he finally allows to show through, he feels around under the blanket until he comes in contact with her own naked form and returns the favor as her fingers continue to dance over his skin.

"I knew you were faking," he hears Kathryn's husky voice say before he opens his eyes to also take in her lovely face.

"Not faking, enjoying," he corrects, snaking his fingers to lower and more pleasant regions of her beautiful body. "Good morning."

"Most definitely," she answers, her tone becoming increasingly breathy.

"It'll be an even better morning in a few minutes."

"Oh really?" she replies coyly, even as her fingers on his body journey lower as well. "How so?"

Instead of answering, Chakotay grins, rolls on top of her, and proceeds to show her.