It is true that fresh starts often give you the excitement and expectations of something new that will ultimately make you happy. They also give you a bunch of unrealistic reasons to crave for what you had before. Fresh starts are tests that make you choose between old fondness and uncertainty, mystery. It truly depends on what you want, on what you feel. Depends on what you already love or learn to.

"Alright kids, show me what you've got. Five, six, seven, eight! Welcome to NYADA. This is Dance 101, my name is Cassandra July and if you are not suffering from severe body dysmorphia, then you don't want it enough!" Everyone was absolutely terrified, she could feel it in the air. "Let's get this straight freshmen, maybe there are two of you in this room that are good enough to make it in this business. As for the rest of you; thank you for paying my rent on my loft in SoHo!"

Cassandra July, failure legend of Broadway. Rachel was trying to think why she really wasn't familiar with the face, while trying not to listen to the ruthless teacher having a very unpleasant conversation with the girl in front of her, calling so girl "muffin-top". Rachel couldn't help but role her eyes, she really loathed bullies, couldn't stand them. Her experience at McKinley had been more than enough proof for her to realize that they just thought they were better than anyone else, but in reality they were just full of shit. And apparently she was one of the few people with this point of view in the entire state of Ohio and now plus New York City, whose natives thought being rude was like a second nature to them. Then she could be proudly called the small-town-girl from Lima, Ohio, with the suitcase full of dreams and glitter, only if that meant she was not a bully. But part of her dream was to become a true New Yorker and so, she had to take it and suck it in, like she had when the teacher caught her rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry, did my conversation with 'muffin-top' offended you?" Rachel had to deny it, this was bringing memories back. Cassandra July looked like an older and more tired version of Quinn Fabray and acted like Quinn's self pre-pregnancy, mixing both, Rachel thought, you get every insecure girl worst nightmare.

"What's your name?"

"Rachel." She said gasping for air, maybe ballet class and the elliptical back in Ohio didn't help her much with the New York standards.

Rachel wasn't offended by the David Schwimmer nickname, she had taken much more creative insults about her nose, but still. When the teacher brought up the theme about being a big star back in Iowa and then insulted her home town when Rachel mentioned it, she really did feel intimidated. She wanted to get in every teachers' good graces but she didn't seem to be getting into this one's.

Rachel Berry had always been driven to excellence, naturally this characteristic tended to put her on the top of the list of everything she did. She was used to being the best and this usually annoyed the hell out of some people, sometimes it annoyed her too. But this was something else, this was university, and no matter what people thought or she thought, Rachel was going to give her best, she was going to be the human representation of perfection when it came to the arts.

"Higher" the teacher yelled behind her shoulder. Sure, she had been preparing for this class all summer, and it wasn't as if she had zero experience in dancing. But this was a lot and with too much pressure at once. Rachel fell to the ground, not really surprised about nobody checking up on her well-being, but entirely shocked when the teacher leaned down.

"I don't need any help." Rachel said embarrassed waving the teacher away, she could get on her feet by herself.

"No, no, sweetie, I'm not coming down here to help," Cassandra said softly, almost caring. "I'm coming down here to give you a big New York City welcome. You suck."

You suck. Why would those words have such a big effect on her now? She had received them all four years of her high school career by practically the entire student body and even some of her teachers, including her boyfriend who had said those words to her face. Still, she had always dreamt about how everyone would always tell her how great she is at what she does, and have more than one person acknowledge all of her hard work when she finally got to NYC. But the complete opposite had happened more than a couple times, first when she gave a hobo a ten dollar bill and asked for nine dollars back, that hadn't hurt that much.

However, being told that, by a respected teacher at NYADA, it had hurt her ego badly, and she could already feel her self-confidence starting to get lost in the woods of her head that had always been her interminable insecurities. The only person she had met with an ego big enough for none of these bad comments to get through, was lost in the uncertainty of somewhere. She had last seen him at Nationals in Chicago; she had been real comfortable talking to him, but her devoted love for Finn had only allowed her to be just that. Comfortable. That was her last thought about him.

While watching Jacob Ben Israel's blog, she wondered, besides, wasn't Jacob supposed to be in college now? Anyway...she wondered, where would Finn be? She hadn't heard from him in two, it was mildly devastating, mostly worrying, nobody knowing his whereabouts, but she knew he was fine, probably in the army, or probably not.

She tried not to think much about him, it gave her homesickness, because with the thought of Finn it came the memory of New Directions and this equals home so, not thinking about her ex-boyfriend (boyfriend?). None of them, that is.

Her roommate was nice, she sounded nice, and that was saying much. Rachel tried to bond with her the day the dorms were assigned, but the following day the girl had arrived with a big curtain that divided the room in half. Rachel wasn't sure if it was because she wanted nothing to do with her or because she desired more 'privacy' when bringing company to their room. But it hardly mattered, she hadn't precisely come here to make friends, she was here to make her dreams come true and for her inner-star to shine as bright as it could. And if that meant being once again lonely on top, so be it.

She could feel how the original Rachel Berry was coming back to her. With all the boy drama that had took her in for the past three years, she had tragically forgotten her mantra: 'being part of something special makes you special'. During high school she had forced herself to change the 'something' for 'someone' and that sounded pitifully crashing to her now. But the past was written, and there was nothing that could be done. Instead of making a pity party for what couldn't be changed, she started building her stardom future on her mind, she was just starting but if everything went according to plan the outcome would be everything she had ever dreamt of.

Her elaborated morning ritual had caught the eye of the majority of the crowd in the common bathrooms at the beginning of the term, few people there left their opinion lingering in their minds rather than spit it out like the others. After that she figured that showering at 3am wasn't so bad, she had the whole bathroom to herself and could take the time she needed for her moisturizing routine without having to bare all the judging glances.

On Wednesday there was a shower running, it wasn't so unusual, few people struggled with the same issue as her, but they still were a considerable number.

She had just finished settling her entire collection of products and creams when she heard that voice. The voice that sometimes popped up in her head, in what context, she wasn't sure or not able to admit it. Rachel hadn't listened him sing in almost two years, back in the McKinley auditorium, and remembered how he used to woo her with it, and how hard it was to fight it.

She had to be sick and hallucinating, it didn't make any sense; he had no business being there. In her dream school. In her life.

But as she heard again his voice and saw a wave of wet curls not being caught by the upper edge of the door, she knew she had to be dreaming, and then the sound of the water flowing stopped. She ran away towards the mirror again before the shower door could be totally opened. Rachel considered there was still sufficient time to gather her things, run away and come in another time, maybe start avoiding the showers at 3am for now on. Or maybe just stop showering at once, why don't you?

No. She had to be strong and indifferent, the Rachel Berry she was trying so hard to get back, wasn't a coward, she was anything but.

The shower door finally opened, getting her back on track and she tried to mostly just pay attention to what she was doing, but she wanted to confirm it was him and that it wasn't just the unlikely confusion with the incredible voice and the damp curls. She looked up through the mirror and his gaze caught hers in a millisecond of a moment. It was definitely him, Jesse St. James was standing close behind her in the common bathrooms of NYADA in nothing but a towel.

And she had to ask herself; why? As much as she wanted to believe there were valid motives for Jesse to be there, she was not very pleased, and for once it didn't matter. He was here for a reason, probably the same one as hers and it was totally fine. Absolutely fine.

"Rachel." The name left his lips without hesitation or wavering before walking towards the mirrors where his things were spread out too. She followed his hands with her eyes without saying a single word, but her eyes moved to see him again as a sign that she had acknowledged him, it was hard not to. He reached for his bag and grabbed the tin with the very expensive looking cream, but of course, leave it to Jesse St. James to have the whole world feel bad about what brand their cream is.

"Jesse." The name came out unsure, the letters strong enough but it still had a hint of surprise in the tone. She had to admit that his presence made her a little nervous.

He didn't seem to be surprised to see her or to have the attempt to talk to her while still applying cream on his handsome face. "What are you doing here?" She finally asked, deciding to put her curiosity to rest and get down to business, there wasn't any other way with Jesse St. James. Straightforwardness was one of the things he appreciated.

"Cleaning up?" She hadn't noticed how severe her words had sounded until he answered, but decided that it was something good. This was her fresh start and still her past very much seemed to follow her everywhere she went. She had the right to be angry, Rachel convinced herself of this.

"Don't tease me Jesse, truly, what are you doing here? In NYADA, I mean." His eyes let his own reflection and drifted to Rachel's.

"I suppose the same as you are." He was being so calm and indifferent; a side Rachel wasn't very used to. Jesse wasn't apologizing, he wasn't being rude, he was just being civilized. Why wouldn't he be? The last time they talked both had been nice to each other, leaving aside the nervous-rude break down Jesse had while talking to her, but it was who he was and she knew it.

"How did you get admitted? And... And when?" A lightning smirk broke in his face as if remembering something and then, faded just as easily.

"Actually, it was mostly because of you. I think, thank you." he said now looking at her directly, not through the mirrors reflection.

"Because of me?" Jesse St. James being thankful, it wasn't something you witnessed every day.

"Yeah," his smirk reappeared but she only got to see it directly for a moment before he turned to the mirror again, "and of course, my awesome talent and my four national show choir championships made the decision a lot easier." There he was, and a soothing laugh escaped them both. "No, seriously, if you hadn't gotten Carmen Tibideaux to Nationals, I would be unemployed and without any education whatsoever, so for real, thank you." She was still curious on the how he got into NYADA but she nodded, smiling at him. And yes, he had always possessed impressive persuasion powers, she thought.

"What did you do, for her to get you in?" Jesse remembered the little speech about Rachel being a true star he gave Ms. Tibideaux and the woman remembering his audition. Jesse lived in the opportunity of the moment, he went for it, given that he had nothing left to lose. He knew Vocal Adrenaline were doomed the moment Rachel Berry opened her mouth and sang the first threatening notes of 'It's all coming back to me now'.

"Nothing important, really. I just told her I needed a second chance at life and she seemed to be moved. She gave me another chance at auditioning and NYADA was impressed I led a show choir to Nationals by myself," he caught a meaningful glance from her, "even if they didn't win."

"How could they have? They were up against the best team ever." And there she was, Jesse snorted and shook his head lightly. He noticed, and was glad, that she seemed to have more confidence to herself.

"Right, your set list seemed to have more than a few hours of preparation this time."

"Well this time we had it a week before the competition, and I recall setting dance moves a day before so, yes." Jesse laughed good-naturally.

Rachel took a moment to remember what must have been the best time of her life, picking up that trophy from the judge's hands and relishing everything that came with it; the applause, and the standing ovations. There was enough happiness and excitement to last a lifetime but, for Rachel it only lasted a few days, ending its period the moment Finn parked near the train station and pulled her pink suitcase out from the trunk.

"I know how hard it must've been." Jesse said, as if reading her thoughts. "I saw everything." She frowned softly at his confession.

"What did you see?" He was collecting his things now and keeping them inside his bag.

It still hadn't left Rachel's mind that he was just in a towel, considerably close to her, but the moment and his last words had dragged that fact out of her mind. He didn't seem affected to see her in a robe, or even be intrigued to know if there was anything underneath it, which there was.

"The cliché train scene, it wasn't of my taste, I'm more of an airplane cliché type of guy. But it was touching and amusing nonetheless." She had a vague idea to what he was referring to, but she didn't like where this was going if she was right.

"How do you know about that? And amusing how?" Her voice was starting to take defensiveness again.

"Rachel," he cocked his head lightly to the side and sighed, "do you truly believe you were the only person traveling by train that day? Your friends were blocking out people, me included. I had to watch." The way he was talking to her didn't include the mockery of his before planted statement about how the worst moment of her life seemed funny to him. "Finn running to try and catch a train that runs at 130km per hour, it was humoring." He said frankly, she could tell he wasn't trying to hurt her, he was just talking the facts in his perspective and it was completely valid. He never kept anything to himself, he was honest. Except for a few times back when they were dating.

"Anyway," he said, in the lack of a reply from Rachel, reaching out for his bag, "it was nice to see you again. We should do this more often." He said, before turning on his heels and walking away from Rachel and soon enough the bathrooms. Leaving still with his brief explanation, a lot of questions in her mind.

This is a revised version of chapter one and I am going to keep revising this fic over time. I hope this is better written and with less typos. Thank you for reading. :)