I Will Stop At Nothing
*Warning – themes of manipulation and emotional abuse*
One Leafbare Morning
"That's the last one."
Leafpool struggled to lift her head. Her entire body ached with the effort of bringing her kits into the world. With an effort, she was finally able to lift her head enough to see the three tiny forms snuggled against her belly fur.
A fierce surge of love consumed the she-cat. The three little bodies were moving feebly, opening their little pink mouths and mewling, their paws kneading against her. They were beautiful and perfect and hers.
So consumed by the sight of her kits, Leafpool nearly forgot the presence of her sister, Squirrelflight. The dark ginger she-cat pressed her muzzle against Leafpool's cheek, purring loudly against Leafpool's ear. "They're beautiful, Leafpool," she purred. "Congratulations."
Leafpool gave her sister a purr in reply, but in truth, her sister's words had dented her good mood. It was only a reminder that in a few days, these kits would no longer be hers. When the little family returned to ThunderClan, Squirrelflight would claim the kits were hers, and she and Brambleclaw would raise them as their own. These three perfect kits would never get to know that she was their mother, and she would never be able to nurse them, comfort them when they were scared, hold them close, lick away their tears. She loved them more than she'd ever loved anything in her life, and she had already lost them. Just like she lost Cinderpelt. Just like she lost Crowfeather.
She had tried to act like she was over the WindClan tom. To act like it hadn't torn her apart inside when he glared at her across the border like she was just another enemy warrior. Like it hadn't utterly destroyed her to see Nightcloud at the last Gathering, her belly heavy with Crowfeather's kits. Like she didn't still love him with all her heart.
But it didn't matter. Crowfeather was gone, he'd left her with a broken heart, a mentor mourn for, and kits she could never claim as her own. To love was only to lose, she could see that now. The path of a medicine cat was a path one walked alone. It didn't pay to have attachments, to love.
And yet, as she looked down at the three little kits at her belly, she knew that she already loved them more than she could ever ignore. They were the world to her. How could she ever give them up?
Squirrelflight seemed to sense Leafpool's troubled thoughts. "I'm going to go catch a squirrel or something," she mewed, beginning to back out of the small den they'd made for themselves. "You must be starving. I'll be back soon."
With that, the dark ginger she-cat slipped out into the snowy morning, leaving Leafpool alone with her kits. The brown she-cat began absently grooming the tiny kits, her tongue rasping comfortingly over their bodies as her heart broke inside, over and over, at the thought of losing them.
After cleaning her firstborn, the little black she-cat, and her broad-shouldered tabby brother, Leafpool turned to the last of her kits. He was as tiny as a baby robin – she was amazed he had survived the birthing, that his tiny lungs continued to draw in air. He seemed so utterly fragile. Leafpool reached out a paw towards him, curling her wide, pale paw around his tiny form. He seemed so fragile, as though the touch of her paw might break him at any moment.
Suddenly, a fierce urge to protect swelled in Leafpool's chest. She scooped the kit towards her chest, curling both front legs around him. The kit squealed in surprise, but soon melted against her paw, snuggling against the warmth of his mother. Something in Leafpool had snapped, and now her mind was whirling with thoughts of her son's life. Her kits would all be raised by another she-cat, and would never know her as their mother. The she-cat and the tabby, they would train with their mentors, earn their warrior names. They would fight many battles in the service of their Clan, their pelts would be marked and scarred by the claws of their enemies, and eventually, Leafpool would lose them to the violent life of a warrior, just as she had lost their father, her mentor just as she would lose everyone.
But not this one. Not her last-born, her tiny, helpless little kit. Leafpool was suddenly utterly determined that she would never lose her son. He would never leave her, he couldn't. Her precious little son was all she had left. He was her everything. She would always be there for him in his time of need, and he would always be at her side, never to be lost to the various dangers of the cruel world the Clans lived in. And as she lay there, the mewling of her kits the only sound, an idea began to come to her of how she would make sure of it.
Three Moons Later
In the moons after the birth of Jaykit and his siblings, several things very soon became apparent to the Clan.
The first was Jaykit's blindness. It only took a few days of the little tom bumping into things and staring blankly at cats with his glassy blue eyes for his Clanmates to realize the truth. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were devastated. Their son could never be a warrior, they knew that. He would never live the life of a full Clan cat.
But, to the bafflement of many, and the pity of others, it seemed not everyone had given up on the kit. Leafpool had taken it upon herself to try and treat Jaykit's blindness. Every day, she would crush the leaves of an herb and drip the juice into Jaykit's eyes. She claimed it was to help stimulate his eyes and restore vision. Some cats thought it might work, but the older cats shook their heads, pitying the she-cat. It was clear that Squirrelflight's kits were very dear to her, and that she would do anything to try and help them, even if it was futile. They didn't think that he could be fixed – blindness wasn't curable.
At first, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were completely on-board with trying to restore the vision of their son. But as time passed and nothing changed, they began to lose hope. It was clear that Leafpool's treatment was doing nothing to help their son. Sometimes, he would even complain that the juice stung his eyes, making them ache.
One day, Squirrelflight went to Leafpool's den. She asked her sister, as gently as possible, to stop trying to treat Jaykit. It was clear her treatment was doing nothing, and was even causing discomfort to Jaykit. He was blind, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a happy, fulfilling life. It was time to give up, and just accept that Jaykit would always be blind. She knew that he would never be fixed, not after so much time.
A few minutes later, Squirrelflight fled from Leafpool's den, fresh blood welling from claw-marks across her side. Her Clanmates watched the she-cat's escape in shock, exclaiming fearfully about the medicine cat's treatment of her sister. But when her Clanmates questioned her about what had happened, Squirrelflight refused to answer, and would only say that Jaykit's treatment would continue. Reluctantly, the other cats dropped the issue, especially as Jaykit grew used to the herb and assured his Clanmates that it no longer stung. But the violent episode remained in the back of every cat's mind, especially Firestar, the concerned father of both she-cats involved.
He would soon regret that he hadn't investigated further.
Seven Moons Later
When Firestar announced that Jaypaw would be trained as a warrior alongside his littermates, Leafpool was nothing but encouraging. She upped the dosage of Jaykit's eye treatment, claiming that she wanted to help speed the treatment of his eyes, so he could truly be as good a warrior as his littermates.
Jaypaw's training with Brightheart didn't appear to go very smoothly. The two bickered often, and Jaypaw had clear difficulty in learning how to fight and hunt as well as a sighted cat. It was of very little surprise to anyone when Firestar announced that Jaypaw had decided to become Leafpool's apprentice, and to train to become ThunderClan's next medicine cat instead.
As Firestar made the announcement, Leafpool stood at the base of the High Ledge, Jaypaw scowling beside her. She knew her son resented his blindness, and having to become a medicine cat instead of a warrior. It had been so hard to watch him training with Brightheart. Now, he was her apprentice, where she could keep him safe, and where no battle could ever steal him from her. She only hoped one day he would understand why this was the best thing for him. All she wanted was what was best for her son, not matter how thankless a job caring for the prickly young tom could be. She would stop at nothing to ensure that he was safe.
Nine Moons Later
Jaypaw knew from the start that he had a special connection with StarClan. He met with the starry warriors in dreams often, and could slip into their world with ease, without having to be invited or led there. The revelation of the prophecy, and the power he held, only strengthened this.
So he never understood why the spirits of StarClan seemed so skittish around him. None of them could manage to meet his eyes, even the bold, quarrelsome Yellowfang. They scolded him when they caught him eavesdropping, and Spottedleaf had played her part in steering him towards the path of a medicine cat, but there was always a hesitance when they spoke to him.
For moons, he just dismissed it, thinking they were afraid of him because of the power he held. He, along with his littermates, held the power of the stars in their paws, after all. It wasn't a wonder that StarClan would fear cats more powerful than them.
But one night, a hint of the truth came to him.
On that particular night, he had not meant to dream of StarClan. He was roaming the woods of ThunderClan, staring contentedly at the leaves bright as flame, and the golden light spilling through the trees. All was peaceful, until the crunching of leaves behind him signaled the arrival of another cat. "Jaypaw?" an unfamiliar mew called out. "Can I talk to you?"
Jaypaw turned to see a silver-pelted tabby standing behind him. He didn't recognize the she-cat, but the scent of RiverClan clung to her pelt, as well as the soft scent of starlight. The tabby tipped his head curiously. "Who are you?" He knew she had to be a StarClan spirit, but she wasn't one he had met before.
The she-cat hesitated, her long, plummy tail flicking anxiously. "My name is Feathertail," she mewed slowly. "This may sound strange, but if things had been different, I would have been mother to you and your littermates." Her gaze swept over him, soft and wistful. "The resemblance is striking. You have your father's eyes," she murmured.
Jaypaw's ears flicked back in surprise. How would a RiverClan cat have been their mother? And what did she mean – his eyes were blue, and Brambleclaw's were amber. Despite her cryptic greeting, he couldn't help but be fascinated by the she-cat. "What do you want?" he asked.
Feathertail glanced side to side with an air of uncertainty. It almost seemed to was waiting to see if anyone was watching them. Jaypaw watched her, fascinated. Finally, she mewed, "There is something you should know. Something that StarClan thinks you shouldn't learn."
That instantly caught Jaypaw's attention. "StarClan's hiding something from me?" he mewed curiously. It honestly didn't surprise him, though it was irritating. Yellowfang and Spottedleaf could be so infuriatingly cryptic sometimes, and the rest of StarClan wasn't much better.
"Not out of malice," Feathertail promised. "They don't want to hurt you. It's... it's complicated." At Jaypaw's curious expression, she sighed and explained, "The prophecy of the Three has been passed down since before StarClan, before anyone can ever remember. We've been told moon after moon, season after season, that the Three would come, that they would battle a terrible darkness. We have been told that one would be a warrior with the strength to lay an entire Clan to waste in battle, one would be able to see an enemy coming long before they attacked. And the last, we were always told, would be the cat without sight, but with the greatest sight of them all. A healer, not a warrior, a medicine cat with the power to see into the minds of the cats around him."
Feathertail took a few steps towards Jaypaw, lowering her head to meet the tom's gaze. Jaypaw was startled by the urgent intensity of her gaze as she stared straight at him. She seemed to urge him to understand as she said, "We know a darkness is coming, a terrible, all-consuming darkness, the likes of which the world of light has never seen before. StarClan knows that the only chance the Clans have against this darkness is the Three, as they have been promised to us. So you, the all-seeing cat, had to be a healer. As much as they care about you, as much as Spottedleaf wants to help you, StarClan is terrified of letting you deviate from your destiny. They believe if they tamper with the prophecy in the slightest way, it will mean death for every living cat in the lake below."
Jaypaw struggled to understand. "So, they lied to make me a medicine cat?" he attempted. "Why? How? Spottedleaf told me it was my destiny, that I could never be a warrior because I was blind." The familiar surge of bitterness overcame the young tom as he growled, "I couldn't beat Owlpaw in that fight. How was I ever supposed to be a warrior, prophecy or no prophecy?"
Once again, Feathertail hesitated. Finally, she turned away from Jaypaw. He watched, curious, as she padded off into the bushes, returning a few moments later with something in her jaws. As she dropped it to her paws, Jaypaw saw that it was some kind of herb, some flower that he'd never seen before. But the scent of it was so utterly familiar. If he could only place it...
Feathertail watched the young tom, grim pity lighting her eyes. "Jaypaw, have you never wondered why you can see in your dreams?" she asked gently. Jaypaw's head shot up with shock at the question. Instead of clarifying, Feathertail pushed the herb towards Jaypaw, mewing, "I believe that you deserve to know the truth, but you won't believe me. You need to find out for yourself. This herb will show you the way." She hesitated, before adding, "Just remember, Jaypaw, that your Clanmates have all sworn to protect each other, to the death if necessary. But protecting a cat isn't always as clear-cut as it seems. And sometimes, a cat that seems to have your best interests at heart is only looking out for their own ends."
Jaypaw was growing steadily more confused by Feathertail's words. He didn't understand her cryptic warning, or the herb, or why StarClan had lied to him. But before he could question her any further, the silver tabby began to fade, and the forest around her with it. In a matter of moments, his vision was dark once more, and he was awake in his nest, blind once again.
Jaypaw lay in his nest for a moment, getting his bearings. Leafpool was still snoring a few fox-lengths away. Thankfully, the medicine den was empty of any ill or injured cats. Silently, Jaypaw rose to his paws, sneaking carefully to the back of the den, where the herbs were stored.
The scent of Feathertail's herb seemed lodged in his nose – he couldn't ignore it, it wouldn't leave him alone. He started rummaging through the herb supply, nosing at the various leaves and berries, trying to figure out why Feathertail's herb had smelled so familiar.
When his nose finally brushed against that familiar scent again, he froze in utter shock. With a trembling paw, he reached out, his paw brushing against the leaves that Leafpool used to try and treat his blindness. That was the herb Feathertail had shown him. The herb that was meant to treat his blindness.
A horrible, devastating suspicion began to grow in Jaypaw's mind. It took all his will not to gasp aloud, and rouse his mentor. The tom felt weak all over as he finally realized what Feathertail had been hinting at. But he couldn't know for sure. Not yet, anyway. No, first, he would need proof. And after that... well, he'd worry about that when he got there.
Nine Moons and a Few Days Later
Millie gazed worriedly down at her daughter, before turning back to Jaypaw. "I don't know what happened. One day she's perfectly fine, playing with her littermates, and the next she's wailing that her eyes feel funny. And now, she can't see a thing."
Jaypaw listened to Millie's concerns in silence, trying to hide the raging torrent of emotions inside. After discovering the herb, he had decided to test it on one of his Clanmates. He already knew the herb wasn't deadly or painful, so he felt safe to test it on a kit, who would ask less questions about the medicine cat asking to drip leaf juice into her eyes.
Through clenched jaws, Jaypaw told Millie, "Blossomkit is going to be fine. It should wear off in just a few days." He knew the herb could only be temporary – or why else had Leafpool fed it to him day after day ever since he could remember?
Ignoring Millie's continuing questions, he stumbled out of the den, his head suddenly far too light. His legs felt unsteady beneath him – he didn't know if he could remain standing. All he knew was that Leafpool had lied to him. For so many moons, moons beyond count, she had lied. She had poisoned him, intentionally blinded him.
Slowly, his shock and horror faded, determined by a grim rage. His mentor had lied to him, she had stolen the chance of being a warrior from him. And now, he was going to find out why.
The tom bounded across the camp, throwing himself at the rock face below the High Ledge. Even blind, he knew where to place his paws, how to pull himself up the rocks, until he had reached the High Ledge. He heard a mew of surprise from within the den behind him, most likely from Firestar himself, but he ignored it. Instead, he threw back his head, yowling as loud as he could, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the High Ledge for a Clan meeting!"
Jaypaw's call seemed to draw his Clanmates from their dens. He heard cries and mews of surprise from below, as well as the grumbling of many of the older cats. "What's all this, then?" he heard Mousefur rasp to Longtail. "Since when does an apprentice get to call Clan meetings?"
Behind Jaypaw, Firestar strolled out of his den, Sandstorm at his side. The tom loomed over Jaypaw, his tone stern as he asked, "Jaypaw, what do you think you're doing?"
Jaypaw's gaze narrowed, his tail lashed as he growled, "I'm ending the lies. For good." Without explaining further, he turned back to his Clanmates, yowling out to the crowd below, "Warriors of ThunderClan, you all know why I became the medicine cat apprentice of this Clan. You all know that since birth, I haven't been able to see. All of you assumed this was a condition I've had since birth, that only nature and fate had infected me." He pinned his ears back, growling, "Well today, I finally found out the truth, and now I'm going to set it right, for every cat to hear."
His Clanmates began meowing and exclaiming with confusion. Through the sounds of the crowd, Jaypaw heard a cat pushing her way the front of the crowd. "Jaypaw, what is the meaning of this?" The small tom stiffened at the sound of Leafpool's voice. She tried to keep her tone stern, but he could feel the panic rolling off her in waves as she snapped, "Come down from there at once. This is nonsense."
Her utter dismissal of the truth, and the way she was still trying to control him, made something in the tom snap. He crouched against the High Ledge, lips drawn back in a vicious snarl as he yowled at Leafpool, "Nonsense? You think the truth is nonsense? You think I'm a fool for finding out what you did to me? For hating you for it?"
Leafpool hissed, "Jaypaw, I'm the medicine cat, and your mentor. How dare you speak to me like that!"
"You're nothing to me," Jaypaw snapped, ignoring the shocked gasps of his Clanmates. "You did this to me. You poisoned me, you blinded me!"
Any reply Leafpool tried to make was lost in the shocked yowling and wailing of their Clanmates. He could feel their horror, their denial of the truth, not wanting to believe their beloved medicine cat could sink to such a low. Through the tangled emotions of his many Clanmates, he managed to locate the four cats he had been seeking. Hollypaw and Lionpaw were in shock, his sister wanting to believe it wasn't true, and Lionpaw blazing with rage at the thought of any cat hurting his brother. It was clear they hadn't known.
Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw's horror was almost strong enough to knock Jaypaw off his paws. Brambleclaw was purely horrified, and furious for his son. But Squirrelflight's emotions were even more tangled. She seemed completely shocked and horrified that Leafpool would do such a thing, and felt completely betrayed. The she-cat took a half-step towards Leafpool, mewing shakily, "No, it can't be. You didn't. Please, please tell me you didn't. Say you're not that cat."
"Of course I didn't!" Leafpool snapped. "I don't know what put this idea in your head, Jaypaw, but it's absurd. I would never do that to you, I'm not that cat." For all her blustering, Jaypaw could feel her panic, and her desperation. She knew she was being found out, and she was desperate to conceal the truth.
"She's lying," Jaypaw hissed. He turned to Firestar, who was utterly stiff with shock, and explained, "A StarClan spirit came to me a few nights ago. She showed me an herb, the herb Leafpool uses to treat my eyes, and told me that it would show me the truth. So I tested it on Blossomkit."
From the crowd came the horrified yowl of, "You did what?" Millie's outraged screech made Jaypaw flinch. "How dare you do that to my daughter!"
"It was the only way I could think of to show what that herb could really do!" Jaypaw snapped in reply. "I told you, she'll be fine in a few days. But I need you to tell every cat what's wrong with Blossomkit right now, ever since I started giving her that herb."
Millie hesitated before admitting, "She seems to have gone blind."
Yowls and wails rose from the crowd, screeches of treachery, of cruelty, of betrayal. Jaypaw knew he had his Clanmates finally convinced. They knew what Leafpool had done to him, what she had stolen from him, and Leafpool knew it too. She turned to face her Clanmates, slowly backing against the rock face of the High Ledge. "I was just trying to help him," she stammered, flaring with panic. "I just wanted to find a cure for his blindness. Why would I ever harm the kit of my sister?"
Squirrelflight had been thrown into utter shock by the truth being revealed, but now, a fierce anger seemed to take over. She burst out, "Because they aren't my kits, they're Leafpool's!"
This time, only stunned silence greeted this new revelation. Even Jaypaw was thrown into silent shock. He had worked out the cause of his blindness on his own, but this, this he would have never guessed, not in a million moons.
Firestar was the first to break the silence. "What are you talking about?" he rasped. The great leader seemed stunned by everything unfolding before him, as if he were watching everything he'd worked so hard to build crumbling before him.
Squirrelflight seemed to hesitate, but soon steeled herself, glaring hatred at her sister as she announced, "After she left Crowfeather to stay with her Clan, Leafpool realized she was carrying his kits. She begged me to take them in as my own, so no cat would ever hate them for being the halfClan kits of a medicine cat. I agreed, because I thought it was the best thing for every cat. I thought Leafpool would be alright. But clearly I was wrong." She stalked right up to her sister, thrusting her muzzle in Leafpool's face as she growled, "She blinded her own son just to keep him in the medicine den with her."
Jaypaw could no longer read the emotions of his Clanmates. His own emotions were too strong, raging and tumbling and tearing him apart inside. The revelation of his true mother, and what she had done to him, was too much. He slowly descended from the High Ledge, stepping shakily out onto the floor of the camp. Step by trembling step, he approached his mother, his mentor, the cat who had betrayed him in the worst way possible. "Why?" he rasped, unable to find anything else to ask. "Just tell me why."
Leafpool's desperation had faded, forming into a steely determination. "Why?" she hissed, her tone suddenly cold as ice. "Because I've lost far too many cats I've loved. Crowfeather hates me now, he's happy with his WindClan mate and son. I watched my mentor, who was like a mother to me, die because I wasn't there to help her. I have to watch my father die over and over, waiting for the day he leaves forever. I have to walk alone as a medicine cat, never loving any cat too much to get in the way of my duties. I had to give you and your littermates up, never able to claim you as my own, never able to be a true mother to you." She took a step towards him; Jaypaw could feel how desperate she was to make him see why she had done it. He could see, as he'd never seen before, that something was deeply wrong with the she-cat. Something was broken, leaving her twisted in a way he'd never imagined. "But you, my littlest son, my last-born. I could protect you. I could make sure you would never leave me. You'd never have to fight a battle, you'd never have to die for your Clan. You could always stay with me, as my apprentice, in the medicine den, where you'd be safe. Where I could always protect you, and be there for you. Didn't I promise you that? Didn't I say that I'd protect you?"
She reached out, trying to brush her muzzle against him in a loving gesture, but Jaypaw recoiled. He felt nothing but complete disgust for the she-cat in front of him. "Protect me?" he repeated, the words tasting like venom on his tongue. "Blinding me, forcing me to live a half-life, is that how you'd help me?"
Leafpool lowered her head, whimpering, "I tried, believe me, I tried. All I wanted was to see you safe." She lowered herself to the ground, crawling towards him in the most pathetic display. She pleaded, "Please, can't we just go on as we were? Can't we just forget this dreadful day?"
"No." The word was cutting, brutal and blunt as he shut down whatever half-baked excuse she would offer next. "All you wanted was to keep me, like some kind of kittypet. Something you could love and never have to lose, nevermind whether I was happy. You knew I always wanted to be a warrior, and you didn't care. You just wanted me next to you, even if it meant I would never live out my dream." Shaking with utter rage, he shoved his muzzle towards her, fangs bared in a snarl of pure menace. He had never felt so much hatred before. "Don't try and help me anymore. You don't love me, you don't care about me, not in any real way. You're no mother, you're a monster, and I hate you. Go and die, for all I care. You are dead in my eyes."
Leafpool flinched away as though he had struck her. He could feel her hurt, and her love, so much love for him, pouring out of every hair on her pelt. But it was a twisted love, a false love, poisoned by her possessiveness, and her lies. He took a few, shaky steps back, backing away from her. "I can't trust you," he whispered. "Not anymore." His voice shook as he told her, "Everything you ever told me, every word, it was all a lie."
Leafpool stared at him, utterly desperate, but didn't seem to be able to reply. All she managed was a soft murmur of, "What have I done? Oh StarClan..."
The atmosphere was shattered by a voice from above on the High Ledge. "Leafpool, what do you have to say in your defense?" Firestar's voice was deceptively cool. Jaypaw could feel that he'd hardened himself, hidden away how his heart was breaking, how the lies had shattered something inside of him.
Leafpool gazed blearily up at the High Ledge, her mind in a haze. "All I ever wanted was to never lose him," she whispered. "I didn't know I'd have kits. I didn't know I'd love him so much, but I do, and I couldn't lose him, I just couldn't." Something in the she-cat seemed to falter, and she murmured, "I failed my son. I've lost him."
"You intentionally blinded an apprentice of this Clan, your own son, to keep him from becoming a full warrior," Firestar announced firmly. "You manipulated a young cat of our Clan, and you betrayed the trust of every cat here, especially the ones most in need of your support. You deceived the one who mattered worse. I have no choice. Leafpool, you are banished from ThunderClan." Jaypaw could feel how the decision clawed at his heart, but the leader knew very well that his daughter deserved it, after everything she'd done. "Leave our territory now. If any cat sees you here after sunset, they have..." He faltered, a painful tremor entering his voice as he concluded, "They have my permission to kill you. You will never see your kits again."
Leafpool hardly seemed to hear him. She only had eyes for Jaypaw. The medicine cat was staring at her son, pleading with him to understand, to forgive her, to say something. But Jaypaw just turned his head away, trying to keep from showing the hurt and rage and betrayal that were churning inside of him. Finally, Leafpool sighed, almost deflating. The will to live seemed to fade from her. She turned from the High Ledge, shoulders hunched and her tail dragging in the dirt, as she began trudging towards the bramble entrance of the camp. In utter silence, her former Clanmates parted, letting her pass. No one seemed to know what to say. They watched in silence as she passed them, finally reaching the camp's entrance. She took one final glance back, gazing desperately at her son. When he only glared hatred back in response, she sighed, turned away, and departed through the thorn barrier.
For several moments, no cat moved. Everyone seemed utterly frozen by what they had just witnessed. Finally, Squirrelflight broke the silence. She stepped cautiously towards Jaypaw, murmuring, "Jaypaw, believe me, I had no idea. I never would have... I'm sorry. I am so,so sorry. I never should have lied to you. I should have protected you from Leafpool. You should have known the truth."
Jaypaw hesitated. The betrayal of his true mother had so shaken him that he no longer knew who to trust. Squirrelflight had lied to him his whole life about his parentage. By rights, he should hate her as much as Leafpool. But as he sorted through her emotions, he felt love there, so much love for him and his littermates. It wasn't the twisted, possessive love that he had felt from Leafpool. It was pure, the true love a mother should feel for her kits.
He suddenly felt far too weak to hate anymore. "I forgive you," he murmured, almost collapsing against the she-cat who had raised him. She curled herself comfortingly around him, shushing and giving comforting murmurs, sheltering him like he was a frightened kit. Brambleclaw soon joined her, wrapping himself protectively around his adopted son. Jaypaw could feel that he was still reeling from the revelation that Squirrelflight had lied to him, and that he had a tangled mess of emotions to sort through about that. But for right now, far more important to him was comforting the cat he knew as his son. Hollypaw and Lionpaw came as well, rubbing against their brother and murmuring words of comfort.
The lies were over. He was finally free, and now, all that was left were the family who truly loved him, and a future not ruled by what he'd mistaken for destiny.
Twelve Moons Later
The days after Leafpool's exile had been utterly nerve-wracking for Jaypaw. He began to fear that he'd been dosed with the herb for so long that the effects would become permanent. But only a few days after she was gone, his vision went from pitch-black to weak and blurry, just barely allowing him sight of colors and shapes. A few days after that, the blurry shapes became clearer, the colors more defined, and a few days after that, his gaze was as sharp as it had ever been in any of his dreams. The sheer joy he felt at finally being able to see was tinged by the regret of moons lost. He would never be able to reclaim the time he'd lost while he was blinded. But now, he was finally free, and he was no longer ruled by Leafpool's lies.
No one had seen Leafpool after her exile. Jaypaw had almost feared she would return, and try to steal him away from his Clan. But there hadn't been a trace of the miserable excuse for a she-cat. Jaypaw had hated and loved her in equal measure in the days since he'd lost her. For all the terrible things she had done to him, he could not forget all the happy memories, the days she had been there for him in his time of need. He could not forgive her, but he could not ignore his love for her either. Little by little, he learned to let go, to leave Leafpool, whatever he felt for her, in the past, and move on.
Jaypaw couldn't describe in words the sheer ecstasy he felt on that day, standing side by side with his littermates, below the High Ledge. Firestar stood before the three of them, his flame-colored pelt blazing in the sunlight, his green eyes bright with pride. "I, Firestar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look upon these apprentices," he announced clearly, for every cat to hear. "They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn."
Firestar turned first to Jaypaw. The gray tabby stiffened, bristling with pure joy as Firestar began to speak the words he never thought he'd get to hear. "Jaypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"
"I do," Jaypaw cried, his voice ringing clear for all of ThunderClan to hear.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Jaypaw, from this moment on you will be known as Jayflight. StarClan honors your integrity and your honesty, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."
Jayflight. A name of freedom, of flying above the lies and manipulation of his mother, tearing free of his blindness and flying to his full potential, chasing the morning sun and the dreams that had so long evaded him. Jayflight held his head high, staring out at his Clanmates with pure joy. His life had been a lie for so long. It had been so many moons, resenting the moons, and his blindness. But though the imprint was deep in him, he knew that he was going to be alright. The darkness of his past was behind him, and now that future was up to him. Jayflight was free at last. He was a warrior, and he would never be held back again.
EDIT: Added in a few more lines, explained a bit more... but mostly, I just crammed in a ton of more Repo! lyrics. I dunno if they sound too forced, but I hope not, I tried to make them work in as real dialogue. I hope the people who've actually seen Repo enjoy seeing the lyrics tossed in there. XD
Yeah, I... yeah. I have no idea where this particular little brain fart came from.
This is seriously one of the weirder ideas I've ever written. But basically, I've been really obsessed with "Repo! The Genetic Opera" lately and was thinking of songs from it that would work for Warriors AMVs. And I thought "Infected" kinda fit Jayfeather, what with him being bitter about being blind and never getting to be a warrior and all. And then, I suddenly thought, what if Leafpool was like Nathan, and Jayfeahter's only blind because Leafpool's been poisoning him to keep him close to home? And the idea sort of snowballed from there, and I wrote this all in one sitting even though I have to get up early tomorrow. Good job me.
So yeah. This is probably pretty OOC for Leafpool, but if something honestly made her snap... eh, whatever, it's an AU anyway. I just wanted to write Leafpool as Nathan Wallace and Jayfeather as Shilo. Because I am currently ungodly obsessed with Repo, and because I have no life.
Now, I just want to make it very clear - I 100% think that Jayfeather could've been blind, even though he was a warrior. I totally support blind!Jayfeather warrior. I was extremely bitter when Spottedleaf convinced him to become a medicine cat. Jayfeather only getting to be a warrior after gaining his sight in this fanfic is purely to keep to the theme of Leafpool poisoning him to keep him safe from being a warrior.
Oh hey, for you Repo! fans out there, let's play a little game called "Spot all the Repo! lyrics the author managed to cram in this weird little one-shot." The winner gets a virtual cookie.