~Lots going on in this update.

Chapter 37: Confusion R Us

"Bella, did you hear me? Want to go grab some food? This day was never-ending."

Seth had to tap my shoulder to break my worried-about-Jacob trance. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Is Sage coming?"

"No, she's got a family counseling appointment."

"Oh. That sounds painful. Maybe if her mother gave up courgaring, they'd be a stronger family."

"Agreed. But I try to stay out of it."

I looked around the parking lot. He was here, but he refused to face me. Jacob wouldn't even answer my texts and it was starting to piss me off. I knew he watched me almost all the time, but I never saw him. It had been one week- a long sad, lonely week.

Seth drove us to the diner. Brady hopped in right before we exited campus. It was just the three of us. I was fairly certain I was supposed to always have two with me at all times. Quil and Collin even took my yoga class which was a comedic relief a few days ago.

"Bella. Why aren't you eating?"

I picked at my salad. I mindlessly popped three of Seth's fries into my mouth, but my appetite was nil. Brady saw a girl he knew in the shop next door, so he abandoned us briefly. "I'm not that hungry."

"You didn't eat lunch either."

"Oh, my God. Is this part of your duty? I bet he makes you turn over a log. 'Bella ate a carrot. Bella went to the little girls' room for 3.7 minutes. She only made pee pee, washed her hands and air-dried because we didn't hear the dryer turn on.' That's the shit you do, isn't it?"

"No."

"Liar. It's a total invasion of privacy and if Jake's so concerned about my nutritional habits, he could show up and ask, but he's avoiding me and I'm sick of it."

"He's around, but he has a lot on his mind. It's better this way or so he says. The fight and craziness messed him up."

"Better for who?" I was pissed because he wasn't the only one a little messed up by this craziness. I was scared and confused, but also dying to be close to Jacob and missing him so bad it hurt. "There was a huge fight, but Quil's okay. He and I had a long talk after class. You know what I find strange? Even Quil won't admit what all this is about? You've all been sworn to secrecy. Why?"

They were completely silently. Brady sauntered back inside the diner to catch the tail-end of our conversation. Neither would budge since Jacob had obviously given them an order. I wasn't a total idiot. It was pretty obvious what started this madness. All the guys sent to watch over me had all acted the same way. They tried so hard not to stare, but their eyes were always drawn to my shoulder. It hadn't healed normally other than losing a tiny bit of redness. I guess it was a scar, but I wasn't sure. I especially wasn't sure why it was the biggest damn deal on the planet, lately.

I pulled my blouse to the side. "I wonder if Jake would show up for this."

There's eyes bulged before looking away.

"Bella, stop. Please don't draw attention there."

"Stop what? I'm just showing you what Jacob did to me. Quil touched it. Are you not supposed to touch it, is that the deal? That's why he got his ass kicked, isn't it?"

"Um. Jake can explain."

"He can? Then why hasn't he? I'm clueless other than Jacob is extremely sensitive about this. Seth, touch it. I want to see what happens next."

"Um, no thanks. I'm good."

"The hell you are. You need to work on your facial expressions in acting class. You are dying to touch this."

"What about you, Brady? Lean across the table and smell it. Oh, I bet you both can already. What do I smell like? Is it sex? The wolf? Please, someone help me out. I'm about ready to ask the waiter if he wants to caress my shoulder. I need to unlock the mystery of this spot."

I slid out of the booth to fake them out. I wasn't going to drag our waiter into this drama. Seth stood up and put his hand on my other shoulder. "Don't, Bella. That guy will end up with a broken arm if he touches you."

"How? Are you going to break his arm? Or is Brady? That seems extreme."

"No. You know damn well he's out there. Please. Sit down and eat with us."

Seth used to have a wicked crush on me. I was being a bitch at the moment and I thought I could still stir him up a little even though he had an unofficial girlfriend now.

I put my hand on his chest. "Please Seth. Help me." I pulled my hair up and leaned into him. "You're all so preoccupied over this bite. Why? Tell me what it means. It feels so strange when I touch it. You try, so we can see if it feels the same." I swear, he was hypnotized. Seth's face got closer to my neck and his breathing changed.

"I... I can't. He'll kill me."

"No he won't. I'll protect you. I have to know the truth."

The front door clanged with a force that could have cracked the glass. "Sit down, Seth!" roared over everyone's conversation and Seth immediately fell to his butt. Jacob reached for something at the counter. He came to our table. "Box it up to go."

"No. Salad's never good saved."

"Then eat it in the truck. Come on. Brady and Seth need a break. They're obviously slipping with you trying to bewitch them."

"Sorry, Jake. I wasn't going to."

"Me neither, man. I mean, no way."

"Shut up. She's been playing you both for ten minutes. Bells, outside now."

"I'd rather stay with my buds, Jake and you're not my friend anymore, apparently."

He growled through his clinched teeth, "Goddammit, Bells, we're already making a scene. Stop acting up."

"On one condition."

"What?"

"Tell me everything."

Jacob first attempted to take me home, but I refused. He hadn't told me a damn thing yet, and that was the only reason I left with him, for answers. Well, maybe not the only reason. God, I missed him. Being inside his truck brought it all back: the way he kissed me in here, all those make out sessions, even the times I wasn't sure he liked me back and we were barely touching, but my heart raced with excitement. I needed him like oxygen and sunshine.

I had to be strong and not throw myself at him. He was still at the top of my shit list. I pretended to enjoy my salad on the drive to the reservation. I should have gotten a burger and fries like the guys. This wasn't hitting the spot today. At least, Jake listened to me for a change and kept driving past the house.

"What is this, Jacob?" I pulled my shirt off my shoulder.

He didn't look at me, but his head dropped a second and his knuckles turned white from the grip on the wheel. He was still torn up inside and I was pretty much in the dark how something so special between us caused a huge rift.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. It seems not everything was explained to us because some things aren't common. Leave it to me to make the unlikely choice."

"We were making love. It was intense. Are you beating yourself up because it was too good? I mean. I'm surprised how slow it's healing, but I'm not hurt. In fact, when I touch it, I kinda like the feeling. I barely remember with Quil because of what occurred, but I really want to know when someone else touches it, if I'll get all shivery and such. I've been making sure to hide it from Dad and Sarah. Who else am I going to ask, but the pack if you're avoiding me?"

"Bella. It won't heal. What you see is what you get for the rest of you life."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. It's a mating mark. I marked you like a damn animal. I'm sorry I took away your choices, but I was consumed. It happened without thought, like the wolf took over a few seconds. Old Quil says it's because you're surrounded by danger and the wolf needed it."

"Old Quil knows about our sex life? I don't know whether that's funny or the most embarrassing thing to happen to me. What choices?"

"You can never be with another man not that you were, but I mean you saw what happened to Quil after barely grazing it. I can't believe you were trying to coax Seth into touching it in public. I would've pounded his head against the table until it cracked open. Damn him. He was tempted."

"I was trying to get you to talk to me. Wait. Do you mean the table or Seth's head?"

"Both." I gulped during his silent pause. "I guess we're talking now."

"Yes, but not really. Okay. I'm marked and it's permanent. I can never be with someone else. I kinda thought that was already understood. Who else would I ever want when I have you?"

Jacob pulled into the drive. We hadn't been over in a long time. I was pleasantly surprised at the progress. "I guess if Dad banished you from home, it's good your house is almost complete."

"I haven't stayed here one night."

"Jake."

"I. Can't. Leave. You."

I needed to speak to my father. He was being unreasonable and it was tearing the whole family up. All our dinners were eaten in silence with Jacob's absence. Sarah was disappointed, but afraid to say the wrong thing. They all knew something was off with Jacob, but he should be home. Rachel and Rebecca would be back home soon. It was the beginning of the holidays and everyone should be happier. Edward started this and I contributed to it befriending him.

Jacob broke up my internal ramblings by asking me inside. He was acting shy like he acted sometimes when I was new to Forks. I reached for his hand at the door of the house and he didn't pull away. "We're okay as long as you don't shut me out again."

"Are you sure? You still don't know everything."

"I only need to know I love and trust you."

Jacob's house had come a long way. The walls inside were constructed. He only needed painting and flooring for the most part. My stomach fluttered imagining our future. I'd live here with him one day and now I was itching to take over. He knew what I was thinking.

"Whatever your vision is, I'll make it happen. You can pick out everything from here on out."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Bells, I promise."

I already knew the layout, so I headed for his bedroom after checking out the kitchen. His bed had arrived. It was just a mattress on a frame, but it was a shame he slept under my window every night instead of his cozy cottage. "You really should sleep here. I'm positive the guys patrol around my house."

"Yes, but it's not the same. I wanted my first night here to be with you."

I bit my lip when the thought came to me, "How about improvising? I'd love to spend the afternoon with you."

"Bells, are you saying you want to take a nap?"

"Maybe, I haven't been sleeping much without you."

My fingers toyed with his shirt. I was so annoyed with him earlier, but now I was casually trying to seduce him.

"We shouldn't."

"Why not? I thought we were past that stage in our relationship."

"The wolf is a little too wired about the mark. I'm afraid if I give in then I won't be able to stop."

"Stop? Why would we stop?"

"He might be overwhelming. Old Quil thinks the wolf wants to knock you up."

"Well, tell him down, boy. I'm eighteen. Besides, I'm faithful with my pills."

"Bells, I don't trust that. You smell fertile to me."

"Then use a condom and we'll have double protection."

"They're at the house."

"I thought you packed your stuff up."

"In your room."

"Oh. Well, we could just hug and kiss a little, fool around, no sex. I missed you and I really need some cuddle time."

Jacob pulled me closer. "You have no idea how much I've missed you. I've been going fucking nuts, Bells. I was so worried you'd hate me forever."

"Impossible, but next time talk to me when you're upset."

He kissed the tip of my nose. "Sorry. I'm not the best about that, but I love you and I swear, I'll fight the craziness the mark encourages. Nothing has to change as soon as I deal with these outside distractions like werewolves and a lovesick vampire. Then we'll tell Charlie about us and all will be right in our world."

I was about to say "deal," but Jacob didn't let me. His lips were urgent and he swept me away. "Make out, right? We're not getting too carried away until we get back home."

After falling to the bed, Jacob promised just kissing and such like we used to do. I could do this. After all, I was a virgin until a few days ago and he was known for his control, but damn he felt good wrapped around my body. Jacob's large body covered mine and his warmth surrounded us. His lips coaxed mine open. In this moment alone in our future home, the rest of the world ceased to matter.

"You're terrible."

"Terrible? I thought you said 'so good, Jake' a minute ago?"

"Cocky ass. We did it and we promised not to."

"I don't know if I promised. I said we shouldn't, but well, you know how it was."

I kissed him again. "Yeah, I know, but we'll be more careful from here on out."

"Sure, sure. Leave your window unlocked tonight."

"I have school and I have to go in early for a committee meeting."

"I won't keep you up too late."

"Sure, you won't." I was teasing because he could keep me up exactly the way we'd made up. I was so glad to straighten this misunderstanding out with Jacob. He was worried for nothing. The mark was good. It made us special, but wouldn't change us. Or maybe, it would change us a little, but never for worse, only for the better."

Jacob pressed his hard body against my backside. He was taking too many chances lately. We had houseful of people. Thanksgiving was the next day. Sarah and I were prepping. Rebecca was helping too, but Rachel hated anything to do with the kitchen. I adored both of them, but had way more in common with Rebecca. She and Sarah left for a second to get something out of the upstairs closet. I think that's where she kept all the holiday extras like tablecloths and special decor. Jacob made a beeline to where I was. He was allowed back into the house by Charlie. They sorted out things and Dad believed he had his temper in control, but Jacob wasn't spending the nights. He gave up his old room for his sisters.

"Stop. We'll get caught."

"No, we won't. Becca and Mom are still arguing over turkeys or leaves on the place settings. Sneak away with me."

"I can't. I'm making pies."

Jacob claimed my mouth when I said that. "Nasty, girl. You know how I feel about your pie."

I tried to push him away to no avail. Maybe I wasn't pushing too hard. We weren't so different, lately. We were a couple of sex maniacs ever since we reconciled about the mark. We were extra careful. Well, for the most part, we were extra careful because that crazy wolf was not getting his way.

Jacob's search for Edward was ongoing, but nothing much was happening on that front. Instead, he was spending any spare time he had finding out all he could about the reclusive werewolf. They'd been tracking the killer, but didn't have new information. Of course, Jacob clung to the possibility Mr. Kelton killed those hikers, not a blood-thirsty vampire and that's why he spent so much time with him. He was trying to get in his head, but he knew that went both ways. Mr. Kelton was crafty and dangerous.

"Gah, Bella. Stop shooting me down. Tell Mom you have a study emergency."

"It's fall break."

"Okay, tell her you have a bathroom emergency."

"Eww. Weirdo. That doesn't put me in the mood."

Jacob palmed my breast and rubbed me exactly the way he knew made me weak in the knees. I was losing the will to resist. "Okay. I'll think of something when the next pie comes out of the oven, but you should disappear, so we don't make my disappearance upstairs look suspicious."

"Gotcha."

I swore to Jacob I would be honest with him in all things, but Rebecca stayed up late with me her second night home and confided Paul texted her right before she came home. They'd been talking quite a bit, but hadn't seen each other yet. Tomorrow was the big day to see if they still had chemistry. From the way Becca glided around the house giggling and smiling every time her phone beeped, I thought her crush was stronger than ever. Apparently, Paul went all out with his apology and she forgave him for the Rachel incidence. However, Rebecca thought Jacob would be a problem. I tended to agree, so I kept my mouth shut they were trying to start something. It was also a secret that Rachel would go back to college after Christmas, but Rebecca was staying in Forks. She had a lead on a job because she wanted to take a break from school and figure out her true calling.

Jacob had one foot out the door when Becca's phone beeped. He glanced over since he paid attention to everything. I didn't have a second to react. Sarah and Rebecca came around the corner with their arms loaded down with tablecloths, napkins and decorations.

He should have left it alone, but that was not how Jacob did things. He went a step further and picked up his sister's phone.

"Give me that." Becca charged at him. "Did I ask you to answer my text?"

"No, but you better answer one question. Why the hell is Lahote calling you sexy and saying he can't wait? Wait for what, Becca? Paul Lahote is a lowlife, pus... um, I mean panty-chasing sack of shit who treats all women horribly. What in the fuck? Why are you texting with him?"

"Jake, stop. Paul's..." Becca stared at me and I remembered to stop before I said too much. Why didn't the whole family know? Ugh, this was frustrating. We had far too many secrets.

"No, Bells. I won't stop. I know exactly who and what Paul is. That's beside the point. A good friend is always honest even when the truth hurts. There's like family and then there's family. My sister deserves better. You hear me, Becca? This ends now. You have college and opportunities ahead of you."

"Shut up! Mom, tell him. Jacob's not the boss of me. You said yourself last night, Paul has faults, but he is like another son to you."

"Well, I understand Jacob's concerns, but it sounds like Paul is remorseful about the past."

"Past? What past? Have you had something going with him behind my back? That's it. He's about to lose his front teeth."

Rebecca screamed a few curses at Jacob, stomped out of the room crying about how Jacob better not harm Paul, and how he isn't the boss of her again. I tried to calm him down. Sarah ran after her daughter.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Jake, Paul was in a weird place. He confided in me months ago. Then Rebecca arrived and told me her side of the story. They've liked each other for a while now. And for some reason, Paul didn't think he was good enough for her."

"Some reason? He's not. That's the most intelligent thing he's ever stated."

"This isn't your decision. They're adults. He fucked up, but Rebecca wants to give him a chance."

"Well, that's stupid. She doesn't even live here. She wouldn't be able to trust him if she was next to him 24/7. Long distance is out of the question."

"You don't know everything yet."

"Then tell me. We promised no more secrets. That goes for people in our lives not just you and I."

"Fine. Rebecca is moving back home for good at Christmas. She didn't register for the spring semester. And the reason Paul hurt her before was because she caught him with Rachel when Becca thought they were about to get together. But that was a make out fling thing that went nowhere. I don't know all the details, but it was when they were still in high school. You can't hurt Paul. He's like a brother and one of your best friends regardless of what you say about him. Rebecca will never forgive you and why would you want to start a rift in your pack right now when there's a semi-crisis going on?"

"It's a real crisis, no semi to it. But you mean to tell me he's had a thing with both my sisters? I want to be clear."

"Not exactly."

"Fuck this. I'm not going to hurt him Bells."

"Good."

I was relieved he said those words because I could feel his rage earlier and we weren't even touching. Convinced my talk brought him back to reality, I blew out a sigh of relief and then I reached for his hand, but he pulled away. Jacob stepped out the back door. I thought he was going to cool off and go for a run, but his last words were the opposite of calming down. "Hurt is too easy for him. Paul's a dead man."

~Thanks for reading.

Uh oh, Paul.

So if you were reading my other stories, I was hurricane writing a couple of weeks ago. It's all fun and games until the water comes inside. Jeez, what a mess! Dear readers, I'm not telling you this for pity, but I had severe damage to my home. My life is upside down and inside out, but my loved ones are fine and that's what matters. I've been crazed and busy. I honestly thought I'd never write again. I probably think that once a month even if all is well. Anyway, this update came together when I took a weekend off from demolition. I might be slow to update the stories I'm working on, but don't panic. I have a new book (my 3rd) being published on Amazon in a few weeks. There is still tons to do in my house. It's basically like moving out on a whim, and tearing the place up in the process. I probably have readers in Texas and Florida affected by these storms and you all have my deepest sympathy. It's no fun. Feel free to PM me and vent. We can hurricane cry together. Thanks again for supporting and encouraging me. I will update stories when time allows. I promise.