korr-a-sami from Tumblr Prompt: You unintentionally got your earring stuck in my hair and WOW okay youre really pretty but this is getting a lot of attention and Im very close to your lips and it hurts someone please help!

Though this is based on a prompt, I also pulled inspiration from my own life experiences. Hope you like Maximum Victory.

Do you know what happens when I'm around attractive people? Accidents, because I am a walking hazard with two left feet and eyes that are definitely not blind.

The first time I saw you I walked into oncoming traffic. You were sitting at a table outside a coffee shop with two other (insignificant) girls. The way you held yourself, the way the mid-afternoon cloudy daylight was shining down, and the exact moment your eyes met mine set off a stun bomb in my head. Suddenly, all working functions ceased to exist. My brain froze as my head swiveled to continue staring at you while my feet continued to keep walking forward. The next thing I knew? Someone's pulling me back while a car slams on the horn, breaking hard as it speeds through the space of air where I had just been standing. My heart was pounding in my chest for more than one reason that day.

The second time I was at work. The Two Whales Diner is a family owned little restaurant, where I work with my best friend. At the time I had been saving up to go to Blackwell Academy. The day you walked in I was unprepared for the ambush. Bang, another stun bomb in my head. And, wow- you started talking. Words. Your voice. Silky and confident and so very clever. It hums over my thoughts, drowning everything else out. I stared at you dumbly (and probably with my mouth open). There was an awkward pause where I stood simply in awe of presence. You eyed me up and down, and I knew you were out of my league. I took your order, got you your food, and later I walked over to your table to see how everything tasted or if you needed anything. Instead of asking the standard "Do you need anything? Does the food taste good? How's everything over here?" like I was supposed to do, I asked, "Do you need me to taste you? You look really good." It was simply a brain fart, but you stared at me like I was insane and it took me a moment to realize what I'd said. Then a huge blush graced my cheeks, I stuttered out some unintelligible words and walked away. It wouldn't have been so bad if the very next second I hadn't tripped over nothing, then tripped over a stool, then fell over the counter and dragged part of the display case with me. When I stood up, I was covered in scrambled eggs and raspberry filling. My face was even redder, and if possible your expression became even more astonished. I tried my best to recover, and walked into the back room like nothing had happened. Chloe covered for me, but to this day I have yet to live it down.

The third time occurred about two weeks into me living at Blackwell. One morning I went to the bathroom and took a shower. Then I heard your voice talking on the phone as you entered the bathroom. I cracked the curtain open a bit to peek and make sure it was actually you. Once I realized it was, I shot back so fast I slipped and fell out of the shower. The shower curtain ended up tearing as I did so, I stood up to do what I did best and pretend nothing happened. You'd stopped mid conversation and it took me a second to realize (as I was caught up in staring at you again and in pretending that everything was fine) that I was still stark naked. And, holy fuck, I flashed you. My cheeks burned as I hastily wrapped a towel around me and quickly bent over to grab my clothes. "Sorry," I muttered. I moved to leave the room and tripped over the shower curtain. My bra launched across the room and landed in the sink you were standing next to. I blinked owlishly at it in surprise, then at you, then at the bra, then at the curtain on the floor. Then I left. To this day, I don't know where my bra went. Dog, how embarrassing.

But this time? This time it's not my fault. Here I was lightly playing guitar in my room, thinking about the girl in almost all of my classes (*coughs* you *coughs*), and then I heard a commotion across the hall. I set the guitar down and opened the door to make sure everything was alright. How was I supposed to know you were leaning against it? Next thing I know you're falling on top of me and we're piled up awkwardly on the floor. I bang my head against something, and when I move to give us space there's an uncomfortably sharp tug at my hair. I try again and then you make a noise of distress. Immediately I stop moving. It takes us both a second to realize who the other person is, and the situation we've found ourselves in on the floor. Our heads are really close together, tied together actually, and each movement I make pulls at my scalp. I turn to see where my hair is caught (ouch) and it's tangled in your earrings.

Wowsers.

Your eyes are beautiful.

"WHAT THE HELL?" your voice, though loud and angry, still carries that same attractive confidence and silkiness to it. You go off on a tangent, trying your best to remove your earring so that my hair can be freed. My hair is really short though, and somehow you're only making matters worse. You start talking about taking scissors and cutting my hair off, when you notice the position we're in. Your voice trails off. There are doors opening up down the hall and I know that soon we'll have an audience. I can't help staring at your lips. There's another sharp tug at my hair as you move to face me fully. How are you so pretty? And breathtaking? And overall-

Ouch!

Your lips are too close. Also, this hurts now. And it's starting to get awkward. Plus, now we've got an audience. Why are they just standing there? Wait, did someone just take a picture? Is the peanut gallery really this useless? You start tearing into everything again with your words, and pulling violently at the knot of my hair in your earring, comments just as crisp as the pain now numbing my scalp. My thoughts are on autopilot now, though. Through all this pain, being this close to you sets off another "stun bomb" in my mind. Someone help me now, before I kiss you or something.

Dog, that would be embarrassing.