A/N: *cough* Ahem. So I've been thinkin' 'bout this for a while now - had the first chapter done some time ago. But now I'm resuming work on it. Because I find the idea interesting, and also, none of my other current ideas are this, ah, traumatic. Which I enjoy writing. *cough* Enjoy their pain, you sadists. (Pot, kettle, I know.)

Title: Sweet Dreams

Author: liketolaugh

Rating: T

Pairings: None

Genre: Angst/Tragedy

Warnings: Character death, insanity

Summary: Allen was the least stable to begin with, so it was no surprise that he went first. And really, it was a very high-stress job, and a lot of the exorcists were just too young. It was no surprise that they went mad.

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.

The shadows are dancing. Isn't that funny? Look at them, playing among the glistening pools of blood. I'd like to play with them, but I can't stand. I can try, but my arms won't move, and I'm shaking.

You can't move either, can you, Johnny? That's okay. As soon as I can stand, I'll move for both of us. I'll run and run.

I'm numb. It hurt before, but it stopped, and now I'm numb. Is this how Mana felt?

It must be. Mana was insane, you know, and I know it better than I know my reflection.

You see, it's this, when colors are too bright and the world is inside out and upside down, only it's not, really, I think.

Only maybe it is, because I can't see the sun and everything hurts and I can't hear my own voice or anyone else's, either.

When you learn that you were dreaming all along. You must have been. Nothing else made sense, it couldn't… couldn't have really happened…

And Johnny, maybe it's best if you never wake up. Because, this dream?

I think it's a nightmare.

The cell was quiet. This was for, primarily, two reasons: one, Kanda was slumped - shivering, half-conscious, utterly silent - in the corner, and two, Link was trying very hard not to disturb him.

It had been, at Link's best estimate, two months since the Noah had captured the four of them under the watchful eye of the Millenium Earl. It had been five weeks since he had last seen Allen's face and three since he had last seen Johnny's. It had been two weeks since he had heard Johnny scream, a week and a half since he had heard Allen, and a week since Kanda had spoken.

This, of course, assumed that Link was correct, and they indeed received precisely one meal every day.

Link was not an optimistic man, and he did not like to put his faith in a higher being. But every time he went to sleep, he prayed for mercy from a merciless God.

Link's head snapped up as he heard a stirring from the corner, and Kanda, navy eyes dark and unfocused, lifted his head to meet his gaze, face sickly pale.

That was another thing. Kanda had been healing more and more slowly as of late, even before they had been captured; by now, Link believed that he was down to a nearly human rate.

This was problematic, because it meant that Kanda was covered in cuts and bruises and at least three broken ribs and one sprained wrist, and the floor was so encrusted with dried blood, nearly all Kanda's, that Link could no longer make out the stone floor beneath.

In a quiet, selfish way, Link was glad the Noah had shown little interest in him after the first few weeks. A much louder and more frantic part wished that, for once, they would take him, rather than the breaking boy before him.

Seeing that Kanda's attention was now firmly on him, Link climbed carefully to his feet and crossed the room to instead kneel beside him, letting his hands go through familiar motions and his mouth fill the silence. Kanda's gaze stayed where Link had been moments before, not reacting.

"No food was delivered while you were gone," Link said quietly, voice alone in the stillness. "However, Tyki Mikk replaced the jug of water, and he tells me that Allen remains alive."

At Allen's name, Kanda slowly dragged his gaze to Link again. Link, shoulders tense as he examined Kanda's newest set of injuries - markedly, a fresh assortment of lacerations on his back, right atop the old ones - pretended not to notice.

"I believe we can spare enough water to wash these." Though Link would have to go without. "Wait here."

Kanda did not react, but neither did he move as Link went to fetch the jug of water, nor did he so much as flinch as he started to wash the fresh, bloody welts.

Link hid his concern with the ease of long practice. Kanda had been growing steadily less responsive as time passed, and while, initially, Link had believed that he was handling their captivity admirably well, now he feared the exorcist was shutting down. Link suspected that helplessness did not agree with him.

"Your remaining healing ability should prevent infection," Link continued, filling the silence as much for himself as for Kanda. "However, the steady decline-" He froze at the loud click of the lock.

No. Absolutely not. Kanda had only just returned, it had not taken him overlong to stir, and Link was still cleaning his wounds. They could not be back for Kanda already, and they had lost interest in Link weeks ago-

The door swung open, and there was Lavi.

Link's mind shorted out, briefly. He was out of practice.

Lavi was dirty and battered, favoring his left leg, with a bruise peeking out from under his eyepatch and his headband missing. But it was Lavi, and he caught Link's startled stare, and he grinned, tired and ragged and pleased.

"Gotcha," the boy croaked, voice hoarse from, Link suspected, screaming.

"Bookman Junior?" he questioned, sluggish mind struggling to race.

"You look awful," Lavi said instead of something helpful, crossing the room with a noticeable limp. He dropped down beside Kanda and snapped his fingers in front of his face to draw his attention, concern half-hidden at best. "Hey. Yuu. Let's go, this place stinks of Noah."

Kanda blinked at the fingers in his face, and his gaze drifted up Lavi's arm, and then to his eyes. He stared for a minute, and then recognition glinted somewhere in hollow navy, and his gaze fell to the floor again.

Link had just started to worry that he would have to employ drastic measures when Kanda pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door. Lavi looked pleased.

"Great. Now, Tyki and Road can only buy so much time, and Gramps is finding the way out-"

"We need to find Allen and Johnny," Link interrupted, tucking away that tidbit for later, when he had enough energy to process it.

Lavi stopped talking, took a moment to process that, and then blanched.

"Allen's here?"

"And Johnny," Link confirmed, cursing the tremble of his hands and the stumble in his step as he followed Kanda. His eyes cut back to Lavi and narrowed, a frown twisting his mouth. "Is that not what drew you here?"

"Huh?" Lavi, faintly surprised, shook his head, hurrying so he was half a step behind Link. "No, no. I saw Kanda in the… the room. Y'know, the one with the post." He waved his hand vaguely, as though talking of a room with a flogging post and a rack of whips and switches was normal.

Link didn't notice that, though, because he had started to notice other things, things that could not be attributed to battle - the hollowness of his cheeks, the dryness of his lips, the wear of his clothes, and shaking hands and wavering steps to match Link's own.

"...I did not know you were here," Link said guardedly.

"Well, that makes two of us, two-spots."

Both of them headed after wandering Kanda for a few minutes in silence before Lavi spoke again.

"What's up with Yuu? He didn't seem himself."

Link licked his own suddenly dry lips, feeling the harsh burn of Lavi's single, worried green eye without looking.

"I believe… he discovered the limits of his own strength." Link blew out a long breath, hearing his heartbeat in his ears. "He may have finally been pushed too far."

Even without looking, Link could sense how unsettled this made Lavi, and privately, he agreed.

"Oh."

Up ahead, Kanda, with some unfathomable instinct, turned sharply to face a door. Then, with his teeth bared in a furious snarl, he started to struggle with the lock, and Lavi hurried forward before he could make too much noise.

Even before the door had swung all the way open, Kanda was in and Lavi had stiffened. Link caught up a moment later and, with a sense of dread, moved his gaze past Lavi's frozen expression to the cell within.

The floor, he noted, was as thick with blood as his own cell's had been. It stank, almost covering the distinctive smell of decay.

In the back of the room, Kanda was prodding roughly at Allen, and Allen, though clearly aware of him, was staunchly ignoring him, murmuring in the ear of Johnny's still recognizable corpse. A smile, soft and gentle, stretched across his lips, and his eyes were closed, face streaked with tears, forehead just brushing Johnny's hair.

"I thought I'd learned to wake from nightmares, but that was silly. You can't ever wake up if they don't want you to. But thank you, Johnny. You tried really hard. You can go ahead and sleep now. I'll take you home."

Oh.

So yeah. That. It's about twelve chapters long, and it might be a little hard to follow sometimes, be warned. 'Cause, you know, most of the POV characters aren't all there. So yeah. *shrug* Thanks for reading, and please review!