Prompt/Summary from SWANFCKNGQUEEN on twitter: Swan Queen AU where Regina is a bored trophy wife and Emma is a tarty little teenager (legal) that gives her the time of her life - I aged Emma up a little to fit with my creation, but I'm hoping you'll find this as much fun as I do. Chapter 2 is already underway and should be posted later, Chapter 1 can be considered a kind of prologue.

TROPHY

Regina Mills was by no means a naive woman, but even she was blissfully unaware of the complex plan which took her from the trailer park where she had lived the first 22 years of her life, to a New York high society occasion with a photograph of the man she needed tucked securely in her knock off purse. No, the mastermind behind the most significant class breach on the East Coast since Sir Adam Cassidy married his maid, was Regina's mother, Cora, and she would take the extent of her efforts to her grave.

Regina was a good daughter, exceptionally bright, breathtakingly beautiful, and everything Cora needed to get out of the damn trailer park where she had lived since the death of her husband caused the extent of his debt to be revealed. She had been a little willful at times, when she was younger, but it had been nothing a few well placed slaps and other disciplinary measures couldn't fix, and finally, her three years of community college (studying Home Economics) were over and she was ready to fulfil her destiny.

The dress would be returned the following morning, the car was borrowed (and probably stolen before that), the hairstyle was done by their neighbour, the jewellery was glass and paste lifted from the community theater's costume department, the shoes were held together by superglue and permanent marker, and Regina, well, Regina felt like a motherfucking princess. This was the most important night of her life, and she didn't need a fairy godmother, because she had a real mother, who, yes, occasionally drank and smoked so much Regina wondered if she would explode, but who had set her up with the most elaborate, ambitious plan Regina could have imagined.

And it was so damn simple. She just had to go to a funeral.

The funeral of Eva White, and her daughter Snow. Regina remembered the research that had been drilled into her. Eva had been highly respected, a 65 year old upper class philanthropist. She had only ever had one child, a daughter, Snow, who had, it seemed, been spoiled rather beyond repair - when Snow was 18, she'd had an affair with some kind of agricultural worker, and become pregnant. She'd had no wish to raise the child, but a child there was, and the Whites did not abandon their kin, so Emma Swan (since she had been born out of wedlock and could not inherit the estate) was raised by her grandparents, and was by all accounts even more obnoxious than her mother had been.

The scandal was ancient history now - Emma Swan was 21 years old. Her mother had made it until the ripe old age of 39 before conking out. The official story was that it had been a tragic car accident, but everyone knew that Snow had a penchant for strong apple ciders, and the police report could not deny that the wild societal princess had been behind the wheel. Regina could not quite decide, even during the funeral, whether people had really loved Snow, or whether they had just loved her mother.

She looked around for the Swan girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. In a way, that made things rather easier. Regina did not like to dwell on the fact that her mark was approaching 70, and had a granddaughter not even a full year younger than her.

Leopold White, Leo to his friends, was not difficult to find. He was the centre of attention, as he always loved to be. As she had been taught, Regina ignored him. She approached the caskets (closed, of course) only after almost all the other guests had paid their respects, and remained on the edge of the group as they processed to another hall for refreshments. She found herself a glass of delicious and ludicrously expensive red wine, and sat at a table sipping it, making sure her assets were advantageously displayed, but otherwise completely ignoring the leader of the occasion.

It was this indifference which ensured that, after no more than ten minutes, Leopold approached her.

"My apologies, but I do not believe we have been introduced."

Regina schooled her accent carefully.

"Regina Mills. My condolences, Mr. White. I cannot imagine how you must be suffering."

"Thank you," he said, dabbing at an imaginary tear with a red silken handkerchief. "It is much appreciated." He sat down beside her. "Though, I must admit, I feel rather out of place here without my wife and daughter."

"Oh?"

"It seems that even one so wealthy as I can be lonely at the centre of a crowd of people. They all want to talk to me, to get their statement, to hear about what will happen to my money, to swarm like vultures over my dear family, but none of them care what I am really like."

"What are you really like?" Regina asked.

BREAK

It had been painfully easy. Six months later, they were married. During the engagement, Emma Swan had been little more than a muttering; since she would not inherit it, she seemed determined to spend as much of the family money as possible while she still had access to it. Everything seemed perfect, they spent a beautiful honeymoon in Paris, then Leopold made sure Regina was comfortably installed in the Westchester mansion, and returned to spend the working week in his city centre apartment.

Cora was long since taken care of - she had been set up in a gorgeous apartment in Beverly Hills, and spent her time socialising with ageing film stars. Finally, she had everything she had ever wanted. She could not have been more proud of her daughter, or herself.

As for Regina, the beautiful young brunette attempted to settle into her wifely duties. The first few weeks went perfectly. She shopped, she went to the spa, she went to the gym, she pretended to befriend her sickeningly wealthy neighbours, and she developed a liking for murder mystery novels. There was something about a psychopath ripping out hearts that made her senses tingle in all the right ways.

When Leopold was with her, she cooked and cleaned and pampered him. In return, he bought her presents. The diamond engagement ring had been the first, and it proudly adorned her finger 24 hours a day, aside from when she was bathing or washing dishes. The weekend after their honeymoon, he had brought her a car.

It was so perfect that Regina's squeal of delight was almost genuine. She found it hard not to hate Leopold. She knew the business king was well aware she only married him for his money, but he did not seem to care at all, as long as he had someone pretty to play house with and warm his bed at night. If she was entirely honest, Regina hated Leopold in the same way that she hated herself. They were both selfish and ruthless, and they both did whatever they had to to get what they wanted. The only difference Regina could see was that Leopold was far more certain of what he wanted than she was.

The car was a blood red convertible with a tan leather interior, and he'd even bought her a faux leopard fur steering wheel cover to go with it.

ONE YEAR LATER

Regina's life was perfect. She had everything, and she loved it. She commanded the country club, ruling over the lesser wives like a queen, and all of the rest of the time, she was alone to do whatever she pleased. She rode horseback on her prizewinning black destrier, she read (she now had a veritable library of crime novels), she cooked elaborate banquets (she particularly relished boiling lobsters alive) and she was… Bored. Out. Of. Her. Mind.

Leopold was with her at weekends, and even though she despised him, she found herself looking forward to his company because giving him death glares behind his back gave her something to do.

It was a Friday night after a stressful week, and after Regina had completed her duty in soothing him, he rolled over on the red silk sheets (he had an odd fondness for the material) and caught her eye. Usually, afterwards, he collapsed like a comating lawnmower, only returning to the land of the living the next morning, so this apparent desire for pillow talk piqued Regina's interest.

"I must father another child," he stated. "At what point in our marriage can you foresee being amenable to this?"

"I do not wish it, yet," Regina said carefully. She knew Leopold had been expecting this, and he did not seem surprised.

"That seems eminently reasonable. Very well, we shall return to the matter in a year."

Regina wondered why he was agreeing so easily. A business tycoon never settled on the first offer, unless there was really something else on the table. And, being Leopold, he wasted no time in cutting to the chase.

"Emma will be coming home."

Regina paused. Not much surprised her, but she had not been expecting this.

"To visit?" she asked, trying not to let the hope seep into her tone. She had spoken to the elusive granddaughter once in the eighteen months she had been involved with the family. The conversation had lasted three sentences, and they had all been about money.

"To live," Leopold corrected. "I am cutting her off. While I care for her, and will not forget her or cease to support her basic needs, she is not a beneficiary of this estate, she does not carry my name, and she has spent enough time bringing shame upon this family at my expense. She is a grown woman, and she needs to learn how to fend for herself. I believe, my dear, that you will be an excellent example to her."

He flashed her a smile. Regina forced one in return.

"Thank you, dear, but I can hardly be a… a figure of guidance to her. We are the same age."

Leopold chuckled. Regina had a feeling he was rather pleased with himself about this. She resisted the temptation to suffocate the smile off his face. He ignored her protest, and informed her that Emma's flight would arrive on Monday morning.

"I will be working in the city, so by my return on Friday evening, you two should be quite happily acquainted. I will email you the list of rules she is to abide by; you may show them to her, and I would appreciate it if you would encourage her obedience."

Regina closed her eyes and let out a sigh, trying to make it sound like breathing. What the hell was she supposed to do with a 22 year old delinquent?