2. In Any Case, Hachiman Hikigaya Is Still twisted.

The Service Club? What am I supposed to do?"

Already finished with her cigarette, Miss Hiratsuka tossed its butt into the ashtray at her desk with her unparalleled level of precision. She took a brief glance to the slatted window behind her, then looked back at him with a grin; the sight of her face were identical to that of a sharpened blade. Beautiful and deadly.

Hikigaya was always the kind of person that gives very few damn about what other people might say or do to him. But this time, for once in his life-he felt uncomfortable... Which was probably caused by twenty-percent fear and the remaining eighty-percent caused by the-sight-of-her-awe-inspiring, buxom figure. He's a healthy high school boy after all.

"Just follow me."

And with that final, consequential, peremptory sentence, Hikigaya reached the exit almost instantly, opening the door for her, without asking any further to what she was proposing. He was a model student after all. Obeying your teacher without questioning its intentions is necessary in order to be one-doing the opposite and they'll render you a nonperson. That's what he thought, at the very least. And it was proven right so many times you could call it a sort of a self fulfilling prophecy or such.

'This may not be a pleasant journey...'

The walk from the lounge seemed to drag Hikigaya on forever. The loud click-clacking of miss Hiratsuka's boots-slow and rhythmic, even hypnotic; reminds him of the mysticism of the late 60's-german's perception of rock music, where a single record is dominated by these endless, repeating skitter-y beats over a wall of melodic noises; it induced him a strange, other-worldly alien feeling that makes him want to puke his own stomach.

It was not that he disliked that kind of music-in fact, he's quite the aficionado. Eleven years ago, every time his parents would left in the morning for work, brat-sized Hachiman would sneak past his still-sleeping grandpa into his parents' bedroom to play whatever record they had; either it was a classical piece, or period-jpop music, to obscure European bands that very few people in Japan know about. Yes, he definitely liked these kinds of music; yet a certain encounter with a busty teacher made him feel otherwise. Just what power lies within this person that she was able to change people's mind?

He quickly snatched his phone out of his blazer pocket and put up his earphone in haste.

'Did you ever see this snowman, standing there with the lord?' [1]

He unconsciously hummed the tune and began to nod his head to the beat. Thank god, his love for good old music hasn't died yet.

Miss Hiratsuka apparently decided to end the journey as they reached the isolated grounds of Sòbu's special building. The building was situated opposite to the other building that contains regular classrooms, connected by a passageway on the second floor. Hikigaya could not figure the reason why it was called the special building-it was only a home for ghosts and empty classrooms for all he cares.

"Is this the place where this 'service club' is located?"

She threw him a glance-a weird one at that. She seemed overly energetic, Hikigaya was unsure whether this miss Hiratsuka in front of him is really the miss Hiratsuka from the office back then. She looked like a rabbit that has just found a carrot wonderland. A rabbit with myxomatosis.

"Yep. It's there!"

She pointed her delicate finger into one of the classrooms. In a speed faster than light, she was already by the door, confusing Hikigaya in the process.

Little did he know that behind the door lies a trap that was set up by none other than the god of romantic comedy himself. Oh, look how he laughs. Cheeky bastard.[2]

Yukinoshita Yukino flipped the pages of her book, flicking through countless of tree waste in an attempt to continue where she left off. Nothing was any better than to be basked in the afternoon sunlight while reading Raskolnikov-san's antics after all.

As reflected by her taste in literature, it was clear that she's not your average teeny high school girl. She's in fact an honor student-her grades (and looks) was an undeniable proof of that. She's quite similar to Hikigaya in that respect, except for the fact that his parents were just merely couples with tiresome white-collar jobs and back pain issues. In contrast, her parents were successful, top class politicians who literally owns the entire nook and cranny of this lovely Chiba region.

And as with any silver-spoon-fed kids, she was living quite a satisfactorily life. Good looks, top grades and whatnot. an apartment, a limo, and a wide array of pan-san plush toys. And as with other girls her age, she also had her share of problems; Whereas the other girls would be frustrated by maths and boys-she would be frustrated over the sight of a social interaction. Not that she would admit though. That's half the reason she agreed to join this peculiar Service Club-to avoid joining other clubs (so that she could minimize the interaction with fellow humans), and to satisfy her hobby that is reading-you wouldn't believe how much book she has brought into the clubroom. [3]

The clubroom's door was suddenly opened. Placing a kitten-motif-ed bookmark on exactly page 314, she clasped her book and set her the sight of the newcomers.

"Please knock before you enter, Sensei," she said.

Miss Hiratsuka grinned. "Even if I do knock, you never respond,"

Yukinoshita didn't reply further. She turned her eyes into the other person. "That is because you enter before I have time to respond. Who's that-"

"This is Hikigaya. He's looking to join the club."

Said person simply nodded his head in approvement-much to Miss Hiratsuka's delight.

Little did she know that the person that was about to be her club-mate would bring so much more social awkwardness in the future.

Hi! I'm sorry I haven't posted anything on this site these days-life's gotten a whole lot busier lately!

AN: Yukino + Hikigaya's OOC ness is intentional. That's the whole point of the story :)

1. A sample of the lyrics of Can's song Halleluhwah. They're a bunch of geniuses.

2. Picture Martin Shkreli's smug face.

3. a reference to one of the illustrations in the first volume of the LN, in which Yukino was surrounded by books.

Oh yeah, I kinda wanted to make a musical snafu fanfic. Do you guys think it would work?