Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Some scenes from the books/movies are used, but this is not intended to take away any authority or ownership over the plot/characters from E.L. James.

Chapter 54

Anastasia's POV

"Ouch! Can we slow down please?"

"No."

"Christian-"

"Ana." He huffs and stops suddenly, sending me crashing into his firm back. Before I can respond, he lets me go and walks to the edge of the water, back still facing me, and plops down in the grass.

I pad softly to his side, but remain standing, looking out over the choppy waters, ushered on by the cool wind. When I look over at my fifty, his eyes are closed and he's pinching the bridge of his nose, expression marred with worry.

Oh no.

"Christian, I'm sorry." I say it so timidly that I can barely hear my voice over the rhythmic sound of the waves.

He sighs and lets his hand fall to his side, eyes opening, but focused on the water. "For what?" His voice is weary and lonely and I want nothing more than to curl up beside him and kiss his worries away. But... that means sex. And we're still kinda fighting.

"A lot of things." I allow myself a chuckle and he smiles without conviction. "Mostly because I started judging your past before you could explain." I look down at my hands, which are mindlessly fidgeting and when I look back in his direction, he's staring at me. I give him a small smile. "But also for being so bitter towards you and expecting you to tell me everything before you were ready."

He sighs again and gestures for me to sit beside him and I oblige.

"Anastasia, I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with. And I appreciate you trying to understand me for me and-"

"And succeeding." I smile cockily and he laughs, nodding.

"And succeeding. Somewhat." He agrees. "But I meant what I said on the phone. I want you in every part of my life."

I nod, smiling as I try to choke back my tears of unbridled joy. "Just not all at once?"

He nods. "I can't promise you hearts and flowers Ana. But I do want you to be happy, and I'll do anything to keep you happy. I just -um- I'm new to all of this."

Wow.

I let the happy tears well up in my eyes, as I look once again towards the water, letting the chilly breeze cool my heated emotions. I glance at him again, this time, allowing for extended eye contact. "Thank you... I promise I'll try to accept certain aspects of your life, but-" I pause, trying to weigh my options. "I can't promise that I'll try very hard when it comes to... Mrs. Robinson."

Christian raises an eyebrow, his tone amused as he asks, "Mrs. Robinson?"

"Elena." I answer.

He laughs, shaking his head. "You are truly full of surprises Ms. Steele."

"Yes, I believe I've been told so. Many times."

"Really? By whom?" He teases.

"Oh, just by this handsome control freak that I know. He's got quite an inflated ego."

"Perhaps the ego is warranted. I've heard he's a heartless business mogul."

"Mm, I beg to differ."

I capture his lips in a kiss and he wastes no time as he flips me over so he's on top, wrestling to unbutton my blouse as I reach up to unfasten his tie.

"OH my god! Mom warned me you two would want some privacy, but I didn't think you'd get this far."

Christian pulls away with an audible growl as he shields me from Mia's line of sight.

I sigh in defeat. "Hey Mia."

"Dessert's waiting, although I think you two have that covered." As I hear Mia's heels clop away, Christian gets up and offers me his hand, rolling his eyes. I let out an outrageous giggle.

"Mr. Grey, I do believe rolling your eyes is rude." I say as I sort out my unkempt outfit. There's a loud 'whap' and my ass suddenly stings as I whip around, gaping. "You did not just-"

"Oh, but I did. And what are you going to do about it Ms. Steele?" His gravelly voice speaks to my libido as my knees go weak. My inner goddess is struggling to make a coherent comeback as he ambles towards me confidently.

"I-uh, there's- I, no-"

"Here's what you're going to do-"

"Christian!" Mia's yell from the doorway shatters the lusty atmosphere and I grin as he bellows back.

"COMING!"

I'm giggling as he tugs me along, giving me another whack for good measure.

"Oh. My. GOD." Elliot groans in ecstasy as he shovels another bite of cheesecake into his mouth. "Mia, I think that this is seriously the best cheesecake in the state." His voice comes out garbled and Kate winces, sharing an amused look with me.

Mia rolls her eyes. "Seriously El? Just the state? If you're going to compliment me, don't make it half-assed."

"Language!" Grace bangs her palm on the table, noticeably frustrated. "Carrick-" She looks to him for help and he looks up from his dessert, brow furrowed, clearly preoccupied.

"What?" At Grace's glare, he cleans up his act, huffing. "Uh- kids! Come on, we raised you better than that." He gives them a mock glare and Kate and I burst out laughing.

"I don't know what you're laughing at Ana, y'know, with the state that I found you and Christian in." Mia raises an eyebrow at me and I flush crimson as Christian sends her a glare.

"Dammit Mia, you have the worst fuc-"

"Oh for heaven's sake. I give up." Grace lifts her hands in surrender as Kate and Elliot snicker.

Christian gives me his signature panty-dropping smirk and I bite my lip in amusement at his childish antics.

Speaking of childish, you've got some cake on the corner of your mouth Grey. Now I would eat it off, but-

I interrupt my train of dirty thoughts and grab my napkin, absentmindedly wiping off the smear of crumbs and frosting from his face with a small smile. He's staring at me intently, his eyes a swarm of unreadable emotions.

What's goin' on in that beautiful noggin Grey?

"Aw..." There's a lull in the surrounding conversation and our tiny bubble is popped as we turn to see Grace's eyes brimming with tears of joy. She grips Carrick's hand as they both beam at us.

I flush, shyly straightening out my napkin on the table as Elena clears her throat to disturb the warm atmosphere.

"Grace, I was actually here about my annual dinner party."

"Oh, of course, how could I forget?" Grace sniffles, elegantly wiping her eyes before turning her attention to Mrs. Robinson.

"No worries Grace. Some things become so much of a routine that they're easy to forget. Happens to me all the time." Kate gives me a sly wink at the jab against Elena and I drown my smile in a glass of red wine.

"You'd better not be talking about me babe." Elliot pouts as Kate laughs, immediately followed by a blush as Elliot whispers something in her ear.

Kinky. But not nearly as kinky as someone else I know.

My lusty train of thought is interrupted as I listen to the others speaking excitedly about the Bitch Troll's upcoming dinner party.

"What's the theme this year Aunt Elena?" Mia asks in her usual bubbly fashion.

"It's a garden party theme dear."

"Oh, how cute!"

"Yes... cute." Elena remarks somewhat menacingly. I stiffen, but no one else seems to take notice to her frigid tone.

Is this always how she is? Or are they so used to her that they don't even notice?

I shudder at the latter thought, glancing cautiously at Grace and Carrick, who seem engrossed by Elena's elaborate plans.

Oh my god. They really don't know.

The full weight of what Christian explained to me last night crashes down on me at once. I'd already experienced the anger, then the grief, but the gut-wrenching shame was new. So much innocence in the room, unknowingly becoming tainted; I let out a short gasp, my chest growing heavy as I finally process that I am actually willingly civilly dining with the very woman that molested a child.

I obstruct an impending scream of frustration and stuff it down my throat, stealing a glance at my beautiful, damaged fifty. He looks so at peace, stroking my hand calmingly.

No. I-I-I can't do this.

I shoot up out of my seat, seeing stars at the solemnity of the situation, hiding my face as I remark in a hushed tone, afraid to speak audibly lest they hear my emotions.

"Excuse me."

"Hey."

I don't make a sound as Kate drapes my coat around my shoulders before sitting down next to me. I relish the silence as she simply places her hand over mine, quietly taking in the scenery with me.

"He hurt you. Not physically, but emotionally... something to do with Elena." She phrases it as a statement, no hint of questions.

Yes.

I make an unintelligible noise in the back of my throat, which even I can't decipher, but she understands.

I lean my head against her shoulder and sigh, sagging into her wearily.

"Ana... I'm not asking for an explanation, but I, of all people, understand that secrets - especially those pertaining to the ones we love - are really heavy burdens to bear. All I can say is, just give yourself space and time to cope with whatever it is he told you."

I nod, my limbs feeling heavy.

"I mean it babe; if you need space, take it, but don't confuse yourself or Christian in the process by pretending everything is fine. You both don't deserve that."

Some space actually sounded good.

"Thanks Kate. It's just that Christian and I have been through so much and I don't want it to seem like I'm just walking away from all of that... from him."

Kate snorts. "Ana, you said it yourself. You've been through fires, crazy stalkers, kidnappers, and attempted murder together. If that hasn't significantly strengthened your bond, then I don't know what will. Just explain your feelings to him, okay? No more running away or wishy-washy nonsense."

I groan and facepalm. "I knew coming here was a bad idea."

"I hate to say it Steele, but I told y-"

"Shut up!" I giggle and push her shoulder jokingly as she mocks me. We collapse against each other, laughing. "When'd you get so wise anyway Kavanagh?"

"Don't forget hon, I've been around a lot."

"Ew." I wrinkle my nose in disgust and she laughs.

"Attractive. Anyways, I told Carrick and Grace that you weren't feeling too well, so we're free to go home."

"What did Christian say?"

"He, um, wasn't too pleased."

I arch my eyebrow threateningly at Kate and she huffs.

"He basically went insane and tried to run after you, but I just told him to call you later... amongst other things."

"Kate!" I gasp.

"What? Barely any profanities, I think. Elliot took him to the study to cool him off."

"Ugh. This is one huge flaming bag of poop. Why'd you let me do this?" I whine, clutching my head.

"Shut up Steele. C'mon, let's go pick up some ice cream on the way home."

"Sounds good... but I'm going to go talk to Christian first."

"Okay. I'll be waiting in the car."

"Carrick, all I'm saying is, be careful. We now know the nature of this girl's background and she's already caused a lot of legal trouble for Chr-"

"Hey!" Elliot barks, freezing me in my tracks. "Ana is the coolest chick ever and she's got a heart of gold. Quite frankly, I don't understand why you care so much Elena. Last I checked she's dating Christian, not you. And we all definitely approve." I hear Elliot growl as I begin approaching the study, my heart softening as I hear the protectiveness in his voice.

The older brother I always wanted, but never had.

"Elliot, please show some respect." Carrick's tired voice resounds faintly and my heart sinks again as I realize that he is silently agreeing with Elena's accusations.

Why isn't Christian defending me?

I am snapped out of a forceful bout of desolation as I hear Elena's harsh, grating laugh. "Why do I care? Why do I care? Elliot, I've always had this family's best interests at heart. And it's not right that you've just blindly accepted this new woman."

"Her name is Anastasia-" Christian's quiet voice pauses, but proceeds to chill me to my core, as I comprehend that this is the ruthless CEO shade of Christian Grey. The apprehensive silence in the room stretches for a beat before he continues, "Anastasia Rose Steele. She is a resilient and beautiful young woman whose compassion and wit astound me every day. And if you can't see that Elena, you're blind."

I hear Carrick's sharp, surprised intake of breath and a loud 'thwack', which I assume is Elliot, characteristically clapping his little brother on the back.

"Well, I don't like watching people I care about being taken advantage of, especially with her. She-"

I burst into the room unannounced, trying, but probably failing to hide the radiant, face-splitting beam on my stupid face. I revel in Christian's shy smile as Elena huffs.

"Hey little lady." Elliot returns my beam with a wink as Carrick stands up, giving me a hesitant smile.

An awkward moment passes and finally, Elena steps towards Christian, her expression grave. "I will call you. Later."

The smile wanes off my face as she leaves, not acknowledging my presence.

"We'll give you two lovebirds some space." Elliot practically drags Carrick out, shutting the study's ornate doors.

A heavy atmosphere charges the room, a potent mixture of desire, earnestness, and strangely, caution.

I take a deep breath, scattering the doubt from my mind before squaring my posture.

"Christian, we need to talk."

I've caught up with all the chapters I needed to do for 2016, but there's more in the works, so stay tuned.