{Chapter One}

~Jace~

"This is the stupidest thing you've done in a really long time. Maybe even worse than when you left your hairspray next to my hot straightener and blew up the third floor bathroom." Isabelle was disgruntled. "Do you have any idea how many whack jobs are out there, trolling the internet, looking for people who are crazy enough to ask for roommates online?"

Jace sat comfortable on his couch, debating how much more trouble he would be in with Izzy if he turned the tv on, the remote was so close but his self preservation kept his hands firmly clasped in his lap. His legs were sore from his morning run and he was sweating, Jace stretched his legs and watched his sister move around the room.

She knocked his feet off the table as she passed. "You could end up living with a guy who collects his toenail clippings and back hair in a jar." Isabelle was stomping around the living room in her six inch, spiked heels. It was a well known fact that they were made to stab out the hearts of uncommitted men. As such a man, Jace Herondale was uneasy, especially in her current sour mood. Which, coincidentally, was also directed at him. This wasn't a safe space for Jace to be standing in, for at least the next six months.

"Are you speaking from personal experience, little sister?" Isabelle paled and sent Alec an array of death glares and gestured with a certain finger. Alec was staring at her like she'd grown another head. Jace, being the incredibly sensitive man that he was, couldn't help but crack up at the looks on his step siblings faces.

"Jonathan Christopher Herondale, you are not allowed to laugh at me. You're the one who's going to be living with a NAZI and get murdered in your sleep." Isabelle sank down into the leather couch, chewing the worn ends of her manicured nails. Jace knew it was one of her nervous ticks that she had developed back in grade school. One which had taken her years to get rid of, evidently unsuccessful.

"A NAZI that saves all his toenail clippings and back hair in a jar? I promise that if I start rooming with that brand of psychopath and he kills me, you can say I told you so as many times as you want. If the police ever find the remains of my body, that is." Jace mocked in a sullen tone. A joke he regretted not a minute later when Isabelle erupted from her seat and took the few steps between them threateningly.

Grabbing her purse off the edge of the table, Izzy began beating him with it wholeheartedly. Jace used his arms to block his face from her anger. "You ass! I'm worried about your impending doom and you're sitting there like this is the most normal thing in the world." Isabelle punctuated each word with an extra heavy swing at Jace's head.

The metal buttons and buckles stung his skin as it struck his arms but he didn't make a sound. He could hear Alec chuckling behind their sister. Jace made a grab for the deathly weapon, managing to grab onto one of the violent straps and pull it away from the crazed woman. Izzy balls up her fists and made a desperate attempt at jabbing him with her slender hands. Jace easily overpowered her and pinned her arms against her chest in a bear hug.

"What the hell are you laughing about over there, dipshit?" Alec slammed his mouth shut and tried to hide his continued amusement behind his hand. Isabelle was still trying to fight her way out of Jace's tight embrace.

"It's nothing. You two are idiots. Jace, you shouldn't be asking for roommates on the internet, and Iz, you should know better then to attack Jace face first." Isabelle stilled her struggle and blew away raven tendrils out of her face. She stuck her tongue out at Alec and he laughed harder, not trying to hide it anymore.

Isabelle raises her leg and kicked out at his ankles. Hissing at the bitter sting from the heel, Jace pulled Isabelle off her feet. Depositing her back first into his lap.

"Let go of me, jackass." Jace chuckles into her shoulder and Izzy squirms away from the tickling sensation.

Isabelle was beautiful and the only serious relationship he had ever had with a woman other than his grandmother, a purely platonic one but Jace had grown up with the Lightwoods and he felt like they were fully related, blood and all that. Jace's mother and Alec and Izzy's mother were best friends since childhood, Jace always suspected that they planned to be matchmakers for Iz and him. Although it had never worked out for them that way. Not only was Isabelle not interested in Jace as anything other than a brother, just like Jace didn't particularly see her as anything but an annoying little sister, but Jace's complicated home life didn't bode well for the happy family life.

"Only if you promise to stop hitting me." Iz huffed out something that sounded like 'fine' but Jace doubted that it was the only thing she uttered. Letting her go Jace leaned back against the cream ottoman and watched her balance like a newly born fawn.

"Jace, you have to at least let us meet your prospective roommates." Izzy rolled her eyes and Jace heaved a loud sigh, covering his face with his large hands. There was a slight, rough stubble on his cheeks and Jace rubbed his face with renewed frustration.

"God, don't you start now too, Alec." His brother was up on his feet and pacing around the moderately sized living room now. Alec waved his arms around and Jace was worried that he would knock over the 46" flat screen and dual speakers, or worse, his limited edition Lord of the Rings boxset. That would definitely be the perfect end to his siblings' impromptu intervention.

"Yes, me too! You can afford to live here alone, why do you need a roommate? If you say it's because you're lonely I will hit you and so will she," He pointed at Isabelle, who in turn nodded eagerly. "Izzy and I live downstairs. I know you miss Jordan but you can hang out with him and us anytime you want."

Jace could tell they were both trying to understand.

They were right, he could live in the penthouse alone without stretching his monthly allowance. Hell, he could probably rent out the entire building and it wouldn't make a dent in his savings. There was a feeling in his chest when he was alone and he didn't like it, it felt like sadness but he didn't know what he was sad about. Well he had an idea of what could be at fault but he wasn't the most open minded when it came to his feelings so instead of facing it, Jace buried it a little further in his chest and ignored the gnawing at his gut.

"I know you guys are close by but you know I'm always busy, studying and practicing and whatnot. I don't like living alone, I feel isolated and I'm always the one to find spiders somewhere in the apartment." Jace shrugged and crosses his arms over his chest in defiance.

"We understand that but will you let us vet the candidates?" When Jace nodded at Izzy he felt resigned. There was never any point in arguing with her.

"Let me see the ad." Jace figured it wasn't such an outrageous request and handed Alec his phone. After a few seconds Alec's face scrunched up and he passed the phone back. "Did you seriously make 'must hate ducks' a requirement?" Jace grinned when Alec narrowed his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"They are bloodthirsty, switchblade wielding, cannibalistic little monsters. You turn your back and they will destroy you and everything you hold dear." Isabelle began laughing and Alec stops his pacing to stare at Jace in disbelief.

"You're an idiot. They're ducks, not a James Bond villain. " Alec stretched with the last of his patience.

"That's just what they want you to think, Alec. They want you to think they're cute and cuddly and let your guard down." Jace leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees before jumping off the couch. "Then boom you find yourself at the mercy of the beast!"

"You need to start seeing a therapist."

~o.O.o~

Clary

Clary knocked on Simon's plain white, chipped door. Walking up and down the hallway Clary shoved her fisted hands into her leather jackets pockets. Flipping her red curls over her shoulder with her shaking hands she fought the urge to knock again.

Clary was trying hard not to go back to that douchebags apartment and paint a Jackson Pollock with a baseball bat and what little brain he had. Checking her watch Clary played around with a loose string on her sweater, wrapping it around her finger until it ripped. It was almost six in the morning and Clary could see the first rays of sunlight beaming through the hall window. Simon's apartment was on the third floor and Clary had walked four blocks, she was tired and in desperate need of her best friend.

Clary's phone rang again, pulling it out of her jeans back pocket, Clary winces and declines the call. How dare he call her? What kind of a selfish jackass thinks he can just call up the girl he just cheated on an hour after she found out?

She marched to the door and slams her fist against the frame frantically. Clary could hear muffled curses through the wood and her eyes were reddening as she fought back tears. Simon cracked open the door and poked his disheveled head through the slit. Once he recognizes the shadowy figure as Clary he fully opened the door and pulled her inside.

"What's wrong Care-bear?" Simon studies her puffy green eyes and the small sniffle that starts Clary's downpour of tears. Simon wrapped his arms around her and led her to the nearest dining room stool. While walking to the refrigerator Simon tossed her a box of tissues from the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge.

"I came home early and guess who I found in bed? If your answer is my awesome boyfriend in bed with his best friend, who he swore was like a sister to him then you would be absolutely correct." Taking a gulp of cold water Clary humorously laughed at the universe's cruel joke. Clary buried her face in her hands and tried to breathe through her continued sobs.

"That son of a bitch. I'll kick his ass. If you want." Clary dropped her hands wearily and smiled softly at her best friend. She gave him one of her genuine smiles and shook her head. "Wait, didn't the two of you move in together last weekend?"

"Sadly. Can I use your computer? I need to find another apartment." Clary stood on shaky legs and dusted away invisible wrinkles off of herself. Putting down the water bottle on the counter she held out her hands for Simon's laptop. Handing it to her begrudgingly, Simon crossed his arms. "Somewhere far away from that cheating asshat."

"You know you can stay here for as long as you want." And Clary did know that. Simon has been her best friend since they were ten and Clary shoved mud down his shirt for ruining her charcoal drawing of a horse.

"Si, you've taken care of me for as long as I can remember. You helped me find my first apartment; helped me finish my admissions essay for Columbia, everything you do for me makes me love you more but just this one time, let me take care of myself. Plus, I'm going to call in a favor with you soon and want to stay on your good graces." Simon watched her as she googled 'roommates wanted in New York City'.

Clary knew there was a risk that she would end up living with a creep or in someone's cooler but it was better than having to sleep in the same building as that cheating son of a bitch. She just hoped karma would knock him down a few pegs, and soon.

"Alright, I have to be up in two hours for class." Simon leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was Simon's tradition not to wear anything but boxers to bed and Clary didn't care but any roommate that he managed to get had a problem with it. Before walking back into his bedroom, Simon muttered, "Goodnight."

"Night." She called after him absentmindedly.

Clary spent the next hour searching for possible apartments that wouldn't take her out of Manhattan or empty Harry Potter's Gringotts vault. Most of which were either dumps in the worst bordering streets or the landlords were obviously drug dealers, in some odd cases it was both. After going through more websites than a thirteen year old boy looking up porn for the first time, Clary was about to give up.

Then she saw it. The Holy Grail of apartments.

There was a penthouse available only a few blocks from Columbia. Looking at the pictures and description of the place Clary knew it was too good to be true. Although there was a weird requirement that any future roommate must hate ducks. Clary figured there was no reason not to email the guy. What harm could it do to just check out the place?

His email made her choke on her tongue. "'DuckKiller90'? What an idiot."

Clary sent out the email and waited. There was a good chance that 'DuckKiller' wouldn't respond right away but there was nothing else for her to do but wait. She couldn't go pick up her things because she could run into Gollum and his Precious. The only things there were her clothes, shoes, laptop and small belongings. Her art equipment was in Simon's storage unit, Clary had planned to find room in their apartment for it this weekend but not anymore. She had to sell all her furniture and anything related to the kitchen because he had bought things he had liked, although looking at it now, Clary had an inkling who actually picked out their decoration. He was like a warden with his things, not even the sexy, roleplaying kind.

Clary decided to make a pot of coffee while she waited for DK to respond. When she heard Simons alarms go off in two minute intervals, Clary poured a second cup for him and made the, surprisingly, long journey to his bedroom. The musky smell of unwashed laundry filled her nose and the sight of collectible action figures made her feel nostalgic. Simon slammed his hand down on his phone, feeling around for the snooze button, using his free hand to muffle his curses with a pillow against his face.

"I got you that on your fifteenth birthday." Clary whispered leaning against the doorframe and pointing at the Avatar: The Last Airbender figurine of Katara.

Simon removed the pillow and rose on his elbows groggily. Giving her his goofy smile, Simon dragged himself out of bed. He was still half naked as he sleepily trudged over to Clary and threw his arms around her. Clary laughed into his shoulder but hugged him back tightly.

"You smell like lavender." Sometimes his brain makes the strangest connections. Most times, actually. Like the time during the ninth grade marine field trip when they were looking at the seals and he talked about the latest FRIENDS episode. "Any luck in the search?"

Simon shimmies on a pair of jeans and was in the middle of pulling a shirt over his head when she answered, "Actually, I just emailed someone about a penthouse."

The shirt snagged on his glasses and after a struggle of fabric and groaning, Simon was free. "A penthouse, huh? Look at you moving up in the world."

"I would move into a German dungeon if it meant getting my own space again." She grit her teeth and walked with Simon back to the kitchen.

"Clary, are you sure this is safe? The word 'killer' is literally in his email." Simon finally said after inspecting both the listing and her email.

"You have an obscure Pokemon refrence from Indigo League on your Instagram. I don't think you're allowed to judge other people's life choices."

Simon looked at her flabbergasted before pointing an accusing finger in her face, "You said that joke was funny!"

"I also said growing a mullet would make you look cool in seventh grade."

~o.O.o~

~Jace~

"These people are either the best practical jokers or the most desperate people I've ever heard about." Alec said reading another email. "Okay, this one started off normally and then it just fell through to horrifying. He's single and has a steady job, downside is that he's forty and that stable job is being a cocaine dealer." Jace took another drink from his scotch and grimaced. "What the hell is wrong with these people?"

"What?" Isabelle crosses her legs and drank through her green straw.

Jace was getting tired of all of these people. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to try living on his own after all. He had put up the ad two weeks ago and the only people who responded were freaks and sometimes even worse. Alec had gone through six aspirin, two bottles of water, and over a hundred emails from complete strangers. Jace was on his third scotch and Izzy would not let go of her gin and tonic. It hit him then, he could be living with one of the people from those emails. A complete stranger.

"This one seems really normal." Iz and Jace straightened up and put his drink on the glass coffee table. "It's from someone named Sage Fray, he's a student at Columbia, on his second year of pre-med, he just went through a bad breakup and he's 23." Alec glanced up from the screen. "Actually he's totally normal, you know, compared to the rest of the nutos. Let's respond." Jace raises his eyebrows at Izzy. "What? Okay, so the guy is looking for an apartment online and that's a little weird and he just got over a breakup so I'll wait a week before making a move but out of the rest of them he is sounding like the best." Alec made a choking sound and covered his coughing mouth with his hand.

"Isabelle, please don't hook up with my roommate." She wiggles her her eyebrows at her brothers in a seductive way. Alec closes the laptop and intertwined his fingers on his legs. Jace stares at her like she'd grown a second head and Isabelle just shrugged.

To Be Continued...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments but I wish I did!

I have a new rule of the jungle for you, monthly story focus. November was supposed to be for 'We Move Forward' (Divergent) but now it's this one! I'll let you guys know what the story of December will be at the end of the month and so on until I finish all of my story and my dumbass adds more.

Anyways! Sending you my love!