Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't care. Writing this for free.

AN: X-overed with Zero no Tsukaima (A.K.A. The Familiar of Zero). If you don't know the anime/manga/novel then I can tell you is that is about a pinkette tsundere who gets bullied for being utterly incompetent with her magic (A Zero rate of success). She summons a Japanese teenager (during a ceremony in which wizards summon familiar animals), binds him to her with a kiss, and from then on they live adventures together because she possesses the power of an old legend.

Feel free to skip the Omake if you don't feel like reading the X-over.

PostAN: On this one Harry uses female pronouns to describe "herself".

Un-betaed chapter published on: 30/07/2016

Doen't say familiar

Harry doe slept placidly on a pillow in the living room. She was tired, the ninja training that Yoshino subjected her to that day was nothing if nothing if not brutal. But Harry-doe had endured, and had thrived on it, just as she had done on every training before this one. It had been a year since the whole thing started, and now Rai-chan was no longer a tiny baby doe, but a full grown one. The white spots on her back were gone, and it was replaced by slick and sturdier fur of a solid brown. She no longer looked starved and bug-eyed, but well fed and strong. And strong she was, because, after ninja training she had muscles, and after learning to reinforce her body with chakra she felt as though her muscles had muscles.

Harry was now, officially, the very first nin-doe in Konohagakure, even of the world... she had grown to the point that even high-chunin Nara Shikamaru had considered her a troublesome opponent in the field.

Which is not to say that the doe had the same level of power she had once had as Harry: she was a far cry from there, and any tries to replicate any of his past life's spell had ended up in failures, some of which were quite interesting... Thankfully, chakra (which Harry had learnt was the name of the land's magic) was capable of replicating some of the most reliable spells in his arsenal, or, more accurately, Harry managed to relearn this worlds's equivalent Jutsu.

At the moment, Harry cared little about the improvement. The only thing she cared about was to lie there on the soft pillow and sleep away the ache in her body.

"My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe." A childish voice filled Harry's ears, and he wondered whether or not some of the younger Nara's friends were playing on the main house doorstep.

"my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call, that I wish from very bottom of my heart." Harry doe snorted, yeah, that sounded like a game of alright. She yawned. "and add to my guidance and appear!" the voice yelled. Harry wished someone scolded the brat for troubling the peace of the area. Merlin, she had earned some sleep. Never mind that her muscles felt oddly soothed all of a sudden, and that the dream that so gently had enveloped her was no more. Lazily, Harry-doe opened her eyes to see a green light, very close to her nose, shinning upon her.

Harry-doe jumped backwards and made a startled sound. "Rai-chan, what is going on?" Yoshino entered the room, kunai in hand, looking at the doe, then to the place Harry had been staring at so intently. She looked confused, as though she could not see the giant plate of lime light. And what a plate of light it was. Now that Harry could detailed, it seemed to swirl and swirl hypnotically, and it was calling for her. Pulling her very soul in the green void a few paces away.

It felt like the calling of destiny.

Harry doe could no longer hear Yoshino, nor see the living room. There was only her and the light, and the distance between the two that grew smaller and smaller until it was gone. Then, the doe felt herself fall into the light.

The world around her exploded.

There was smoke.

There was laughter.

There were wizard children making fun of a girl with pink hair...

Wait, what?

Harry blinked. The tense posture that had come so naturally to her now loosening somewhat. He had to be in a genjutsu. It had to be. Because there was no way that she was actually seen children dressed in robes and wielding wands that stood in front of a small castle.

Vaguely, Harry-doe tried to think if she had done anything to piss off any genjutsu wielder. None came to mind.

Harry let out a mental "Kai" and a small flare of chakra magic. The children were still there, as was the castle.

"Hey, look!" Harry heard in what had to be French. His French was a tad rusty, but he had learnt to speak it fluidly after so many decades of shared lunches with Old Harry's sister in law and said Veela's family.

Suddenly, all eyes were on the doe that stood in the middle of the dissipating cloud of smoke. "Louise summoned something!" said a fat, blond guy that vaguely reminded Harry of Dudley.

The pinkette smiled and puffed her flat chest to the air, saying something snotty-sounding. Right after the girl finished speaking, the most tanned red-head Harry had ever seen in either life puffed her abundant chest and mocked the girl, who started then started to stomp on Tanned Ginger's way... until a bald guy with glasses coughed and reminded the girl that she needed to "Complete the ritual Miss Vallière".

Now, in Harry's long life as a wizard, he had learnt that a ritual was rarely good news. Add to that knowledge the fact that a newly obtained ninja paranoia was screaming at Harry-doe to move move move away from the girl who made a grabby motion towards the doe. Harry jumped out of the way. The children laughed, all but the girl who huffed and demanded Harry stay put. She launched herself towards Harry again, and Harry ducked once more. More laughter. The area was descending into a mess as Harry merely jumped out of the way of the stubborn girl.

"Enough!" Harry heard before the the doe started to float in the air. "Finish what you started, Miss Vallière, now." The teacher. He had to be the one to bind Harry. But you never bind a wizard ex-Auror, let alone one with ninja training, and find out that's the end of it: a shimmering shield of magic surrounded the doe's body before expanding outwards, sending flying most of the children in the area, and the teacher, slamming into a wall.

The teacher dislodged himself from the wall with surprising swiftness, wand pointed towards the doe with what Harry recognized to be poised reflex. The man had been a warrior, not unlike what Harry had once being, or was getting shaped to become. This had potential to be fun.

The doe bowed towards the wizard in what she hoped passed as the customary duel bow. The teacher bowed back a bit, but didn't lower his guard. Good.

Harry lifted a chakra-enhanced hoof, then stomped it on the ground. It cracked, and the crack mover towards the bald wizard, who jumped out of the way and sent a ball of flame towards Harry. The battle than sparked from there was not a serious one, and the attitude of the dueling parts was reminiscent of that of knights engaging into a sparring session. The children that had before being tossed on their backsides were cheering their teacher, and Harry was only a bit put out by that.

Eventually, the teacher lowered the wand, Harry stopped as soon as he did. It would be pointless to keep the fight going, for neither could defeat the other without upping their game, and none were willing to harm the children to come up as the victor.

"Miss Vallière, I do not believe I have ever seen a doe like the one you have summoned."

Miss Vallière puffed her chest "Of course, as noble of a great house it stands as clear that I would summon something special".

"And yet, it clearly doesn't want to be bound as your familiar," The ginger pointed out snidely.

Harry agreed wholeheartedly, if silently: being bound sounded like a horrible idea. Specially since Harry wanted to go back and this bounding sounded like something that would force "Rai-chan" away from mama Yoshino.

So not happening.

The girl disagreed and moved closer to Harry. Tired of the repetitive attempts of the girl to get closer, Harry let out the most threatening snake hiss that he could muster. The "Go Away" was clear despite the lack of words.

"It hissed!" She declared wide-eyed.

"I understood that!" A boy with a brown hair snapped like a bowl declared in awe.

"Mr. Blackgate?" the teacher blinked, "what do you mean you understood it?"

The Blackgate boy nodded "I... can speak with snakes," the boy admitted sheepishly. "I have since I summoned Demeter an hour ago." he pointed towards a white snake with blue eyes that was looking at Harry with a great deal of bewilderment.

A Parselmouth! Harry was static by this random bit of luck. "$$I need to go back to my owner,$$" Harry-doe declared in snake speech.

"It says it has an owner, Mister Colbert. It wants to go back to him or her," the teen pointed out. The now identified as Mister Colbert looked surprised at the words, but it was a girl curly blond hair and a frog on her shoulder that replied with a shrieked "That's right! The doe had a green ribbon when it arrived! Louise must have summoned someone's pet."

Well, Harry didn't considered himself a pet these days, more like a trusted companion and proud nin-doe, but decided it was not the time to get offended. So he nodded at the girls words and waited for the apologize that he deserved for getting dragged to wherever in France this was, then to be sent back the way she was brought.

Harry was unsure whether this man knew Legilimency or if her expression was that easy to read, but Mr. Colbert coughed, and pulled a handkerchief out of his robe's pocket as he apologized to Harry... though the apologize was not the one Harry wanted to hear: "I'm sorry, but you cannot go back. Once a summoning has taken place there is no way to reverse it."

"$$Oh, bugger me with a broomstick.$$"

Harry wished he could face-palm.

The End

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AN: I have wanted to write this scenario longer than any of you will ever know. I still don't think I will be working on Doeskin for a while, but seeing I was able to work on this one makes me feel as though I will be able to do get back to the main fic sooner than I had thought.

I have no idea how to get Harry out of the Zero No Tsukaima world without a extensive plot, but I can assure you Harry wouldn't become a familiar willingly in any universe derived from this... and Louise would be unable to force Harry-doe to become her bound familiar. Harry-doe belongs with Yoshino. All of you surely agree with that.

ALSO, Blackgate is a OC. I was too lazy to see if any of the real characters fitted the bill for what I needed.

So... love it? Hate it? Want me to stay well away from mixing any other universe in the pot? Let me know in a review :)