Naruto, Sasuke and their handler met Sakura outside. Instantly upon seeing Naruto Sakura burst into tears once again and tried to run only to be grabbed at the throat by the one eyed man. "I don't suggest trying to run again Haruno," the man said emotionlessly.

Sakura didn't say anything just cried and nodded her head.

"good," the man said a cheerful smile on his face. "Now down to business." He surveyed all of them quickly before continuing on, "I don't care about any of you. I don't care about your likes, dislikes, skills or anything. All you need to know is that I am your handler, I give you missions watch over how you do those missions and give Kage-sama a report. I do not wish to be doing this but Kage-sama says jump and I jump. Any questions? No? Good. I have all of your contact details and will inform you when a mission comes up. Dismissed," with that he walked off.

"Didn't even get his name," Naruto grumbled.

"N-N-Na-Naruto….y-your h-hand," Sakura managed to get out. "S-s-sorry," with that Sakura buried her face in her hands and her crying escalated.

"it's fine," Naruto told her with a fake smile, "I was an idiot for not even knowing the difference between a stun grenade and a concussive one anyway."

"b-but..." Sakura managed to cry out before stopping as she was once more completely consumed by tears.

Naruto waved her off with his mangled hand, "relax I just need to go and get a replacement. Wish I knew a proper doctor for it though."

suddenly something was pushed into Naruto's hand and he saw it was a piece of paper given to him by Sasuke, "go there," Sasuke stated simply before disappearing.

"Freaky Uchiha," Naruto muttered before reading the address on the piece of paper. He gave a small shrug, it wasn't too far away. "hey Sakura if it would make you feel better want to come with me to get a new one?" he asked hoping that it would stop her crying.

It didn't but Sakura agreed none the less.

…

Naruto found himself in a small apartment block with Sakura by his side and a sign in front of his face.

Senju Body ModificationsTM

Cyberware and Bio-Mutations for all your daily needs

"God they need a new name," Naruto muttered as he stared at the sign. "Well hopefully they know what they're doing. Without any more preamble Naruto raised his non-mangled fist and started to bang on the door.

The door quickly opened to show a very drunk blonde woman with very, very large breasts and only dressed in a dirty labcoat, thankfully the labcoat was closed or Naruto would have died from blood loss.

"Quit pounding on my door brat or I'll pound your head in!" the woman slurred.

Naruto stared at the woman in shock, "I must have the wrong address," he muttered.

"Yeah yeah I'm drunk well so fucking what?" the woman asked angrily. "It's not like I'm the one working today. Now get your ass in here and I'll get the bastard to look at your hand," not waiting for a reply the lady grabbed Naruto and dragged him into the room.

The inside room was not what he was expecting. A run down, disgusting apartment with blood everywhere was not what this place was. It took up the entire side of the floor, had several operating tales all over the place, was completely clean and all of the equipment appeared to be top of the line. There was also some screaming coming from a side room.

"OI you bastard you've got a customer now hurry the fuck up, put some clothes on and deal with the brat and his little girlfriend!" the woman screamed before walking over to a fridge, opening it and withdrawing a beer before hopping on an operating table and starting to drink.

The screaming stopped quite quickly and after a minute two people walked out. One was a beautiful woman with dishevelled black hair, black eyes and a rumpled up nurses outfit, she was also blushing bright red. The other was a tall thin man with long black hair, snake like eyes and was wearing a doctor's coat.

"Sorry about the wait," the man said with a smirk of amusement on his face. "Shizune over here couldn't wait and what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help such a beautiful lady?"

the woman, Shizune, turned even more red and glared at the man. "Stop that Orochi!" she hissed in embarrassment.

Naruto just laughed at the two, "don't worry about it. Besides some-things just shouldn't be done alone," he teased. Laughing louder as Shizune turned tomato red.

The man gave a polite chuckle at Naruto's words. "Where are my manners?" he asked. "I forgot to introduce myself I am Orochimaru one of the doctors here, this is Shizune our nurse and the drunken old hag is Tsunade the other doctor."

"Pedo!" Tsunade grumbled in annoyance.

"Love you too Tsu-Tsu," Orochimaru grinned before turning back to Naruto. "now how can we help you today? I assume the hand needs fixing but would you like a cloned part, an animal part, a mutated cloned part? Would you like a cyber-hand or would you like something else?" Orochimaru asked. "Just tell us what you want and we can do it, for a price of course."

"A cyber-hand would be cool," Naruto mused before shaking his head, "nah mom would probably just take it apart while I sleep anyway."

"Your mom would take your cyber-hand apart while you sleep?" Sakura asked in shock, this appeared to gain everyone else's attention as well.

Naruto shrugged, "yeah apparently mom was this big shot cyberware developer before I was born but just after I was born something happened and now all she does is take cyberware apart all day and put it back together so it doesn't work."

"And may I ask just who is your mother?" Orochimaru asked politely.

"Uzumaki Kushina," was Naruto's blithe reply.

Orochimaru, Tsunade and Shizune stared at him for shock for a few seconds before that shock changed to a look of disapproval. "You should not lie about such things young man," Orochimaru scolded.

"What makes you think I'm lying?" Naruto asked in surprise and a little anger.

"Kushina disappeared six years ago," Tsunade replied. "She was working and creating up until then. Heck she was the one we bought all of our cyberware from."

"So as you can see it's quite obvious that you are lying," Orochimaru pointed out.

"I suggest next time you think about something before you lie like that," Shizune added.

By now Naruto was getting angry, how dare these people call him a liar, they were obviously lying themselves, though for the life of him he couldn't figure out why they would do that. "look just hurry up and do whatever the fuck you need so I can get away from you assholes," Naruto growled out.

"Naruto don't talk to them like that!" Sakura hissed in his ear.

Orochimaru waved her off, "it's quite alright young lady. People tend to get overly hostile when they are found in an unflattering light so to speak,." Orochimaru then turned to look at Naruto intently, "all we need is a DNA sample, it should take four days to regrow a hand for you so I suggest you come back in four days. Oh and just in case it wasn't obvious we expect payment now," the last bit came out sounding more like a threat than Naruto expected the man to be capable off.

Naruto pulled a credstick out of his pocket and chucked it at Orochimaru, the man easily catching it. "that should be enough," he said. "now let's hurry up and get this over with, I can't stand to be around you ass holes for much longer."

Orochimaru calmly reached out and yanked several hairs from Naruto's head, "that should be enough. Oh and please make sure to close the door on your way out." With that Naruto was dismissed and he stormed out of the place with Sakura following close behind him.

…

It had been a few days since the incident with Naruto's hand and Senju Body Modifications. He hadn't heard anything from his handler or his cell. His mom was still acting weird, she wasn't saying or doing anything except eating when she needed to and sleeping when she needed to, it was different but at least she wasn't dismantling everything she could get her hands on. Shikamaru had found out nothing of importance about Cyberzombies or P9 and to put it simply Naruto was bored shitless. So Naruto decided to call Mei.

The phone was answered only on the second ring but Naruto could tell by the screams of agony in the background that it probably wasn't the best time.

"Hello Naru-kun did you miss me?" Mei cooed.

"I was just thinking that I owed you a date...DINNER! I owe you dinner!" Naruto shouted the last part quickly thanking god that Mei could not see his bright red face.

The screams in the background intensified before a large squishing sound was heard and they suddenly stopped.

"I'm sorry Naru-kun," Mei said, the pout in her voice very clear. "but I have to work late for a while. You know how it is, a Mafia civil war to win, people to kill and information to torture out of annoying little worms. Just a second. AO YOU BETTER MAKE SURE NOT TO KILL THE NEXT ONE WE NEED THAT INFORMATION AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU BETTER NOT GET ANY MORE BLOOD ON MY NEW CLOTHES! Sorry Naru-kun I'm a little busy right now. We will have to do it later okay?"

"Oh...okay no problem," Naruto muttered. "I'll see you later Mei."

"Come now Naru-kun I thought I told you to call me Mei-chan," Mei teased lightly.

Naruto could feel his face heat up once more, "later Mei…..chan," he added hesitantly before hanging up.

"Fuck now what am I meant to do?" Naruto asked his empty room.

Almost as soon as Naruto asked that his phone rang, Chouji's name appeared on caller ID.

"yeah?" he asked answering it.

"Naruto we need your help!" Chouji hissed.

Instantly alert Naruto jumped to his feet and started to gather all of his usual mission gear, "what do you need?" he asked.

"It was a simple job, posed as some workers, grab the data and get out. However on our way out Iron Corp showed up!"

Naruto froze, "you were doing a job against Iron Corp!" he shouted. "What the fuck!?"

"They weren't supposed to be here, we didn't know about them!" Chouji responded. "Anyway me and Shika were able to escape but Ino's still in the building. We need you to make a distraction and draw as many of them away as possible."

"What the fuck man?" Naruto asked loudly. "You want me to piss off Iron Corp for Ino? She has you under her power doesn't she!"

"If she had me under her power I would have already rushed the guys. Please Naruto we really need your help," he begged.

"You owe me big time!" Naruto hissed into the phone. "Message me the co-ordinates and everything that I need to know. I need to prepare."

"Thanks Naruto and please hurry!" Chouji said before hanging up.

Naruto moved quickly picking up everything he had that could be used for disguise. A bottle of green hair dye was messily mixed through his hair, it wouldn't take very well but if he was lucky no one would realise what his actual hair colour was. Brown contacts were put on, he wore several layers of clothes to bulk himself up and was ready to run out the door when he remembered something, unbidden to him a memory of a previous job and specific circumstances ran through his mind. Naruto grabbed what he needed and prayed to all the gods and demons that he knew before rushing out of the door.

…

The area that was filled with Iron Corp men was in a mountain area just outside of town. It was private land owned primarily by the Genron corporation. Naruto met up with Shikamaru and Chouji just five minutes away from the Genron building.

"What's happening?" he asked once he reached the two.

"Genron is an animal testing company that makes every day products," Shikamaru told me. "Apparently two animals got loose and are causing havoc all over the facility. After that Iron Corp showed up and are searching the facility themselves, along with checking every personnel that they see in the chance that they are infiltrators."

"And Ino's alright?"

"She was but we lost contact with her five minutes ago, they shut down all communications in the area," Shikamaru informed him.

Naruto sighed, "how many Iron Corp men?"

"Thirty,' Shikamaru said with a small grimace.

"What is the data you were sent after?"

"They found a way to fuse two animals together into one, our employer wants to know how."

Naruto sighed weakly, "you guys owe me for this," before making sure that his stun-glove was on and all of his gear was ready. "Once shit hits the fan make sure that you two cover me," he ordered before hopping on his JUMP-board and racing off to the building.

"HALT!" an Iron Corp soldier yelled as Naruto approached the front gate. "This area is closed down for security reasons."

Naruto hopped off of his JUMP-board and slowly approached the soldier, there were three in total at the gate and Naruto would have to be really careful with this. "Hey I heard what was going on and just wanted to see if my dad was alright," he lied.

"Sir I am going to have to ask you to step back!" the soldier ordered, ignoring Naruto's words.

"Come on Samuel Jones, he's an accountant is he okay?" Naruto asked.

The soldier raised his rifle, pointing it straight at Naruto's chest. "Sir this is your last warning step back now."

Naruto sighed but he didn't step back. Instead he slowly reached his hand around to his back and pushed his shirt up so that his stun-glove was touching his skin. "I hope this works," he muttered weakly before he shocked himself.

The electricity ran through his body, destroying his nerves and repairing the very same nerves as it went. The feeling was strange, different and almost euphoric but that wasn't important right now. What was important was that he had millions of kilojoules of energy that was harnessed in his body, waiting to be used up and Naruto would use it.

His body literally vibrating with the energy Naruto rushed forward faster than the soldiers could react and slammed into the closest soldier, snatching a pistol out of his holster and pulling it on him. Two shots later and the soldier was dead before the other two could even blink.

"Fuck you guys have to try this!" Naruto laughed gleefully as he lunged at another soldier killing him and then his friend. In less than two seconds Naruto had killed three Iron Corp soldiers without any problems.

Hopping on his JUMP-board Naruto raced off into the compound and made his way to the main building.

"HHHOOOOOOOLLLLLLD IIIITTTTTT RRRRRIIIIIGGGGGHHHHT TTTHHHHEEEERRREEEEE!" some one shouted slowly as he pulled a gun and levelled it straight at Naruto.

Not even hesitating Naruto kicked his board up into the air, did a somersault and crashed into the man's face with the base of his JUMP-board. "I should do this more often," Naruto said gleefully.

He heard a loud bang and turned to find an Iron Corp soldier on the ground right next to him. "Awww Shika is looking out for me….I should get him some candy!"

Naruto's eyes then caught on something, dropping his gun and bending down he pulled it out of it's holster on the man, "shiny knife," he muttered with a wide smile.

There was another bang and Naruto felt a sharp pain in the lower left of his chest, a bullet had shot him. Ignoring the fact that the pain disappeared almost instantly Naruto turned to face who had shot him only to see a line up of five men. "I'LL HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!" he screamed lunging at them.

The men were too slow to react before Naruto was upon them hacking and slashing and hacking and slashing and hacking and slashing and hacking and slashing and….where did the men go? "that's strange I thought men were here but all I see is body parts. Where did they go?" Naruto asked. "Wait why am I here again?

Naruto looked around himself in confusion, ignoring the several bullet shots that were happening around him and the cries of anger from the soldiers. "Oh that's right I need to buy Shika some cotton candy!" he yelled happily. Jumping on his JUMP-board Naruto raced off out of the compound and back to the city. He didn't even pay any attention to the Iron Corp forces that were chasing off after him.

…

…

…

So yeah Naruto's gone round the bend, a few references in this chapter and Snake-pedo and the legendary sucker appeared.

This chapter was bloody hard to do so sorry about the ending but fear not there is madness to my method and I do have a plan for everything.

P.S. Does anyone know all of the references I made in this chapter?

P.P.S. do you know exactly why Naruto goees all loopy from electricity? I have a reason but can you guess it?

As always read, review and I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!