Ru: So...chapter 8 now...I'm starting to get into this story again I guess...since Percephone helped me think of plot. We'll see how this goes.

Rui: Shut up.

Ru: Oh that's a wonderful insult.

Rui: Shut it. I feel like I have a hangover...even though I don't drink.

Ru: Wonderful! So you won't mind if I cue the marching band.

Rui: Die.

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary now? I do not own any of these characters and I do not own the plot. Any song lyrics are from "Prediliction". Don't sue me...I have no money.

Warning: Again...if you don't get it by now...have you read the other chapters? Here be Shounen ai/yaoi and rampant OOCness. Ryuichi is also a bit...well...creepy now, but I do so love him anyway. There is also some K/Sakano in this chapter. I am completely unrepentant. I have read some nice fics for this pairing and I like it, despite the fact that K is married in the manga. While I don't support cheating at all...I'm ignoring the wife and kid and living obliviously in the anime universe. :p

Besides this is an AU. So there. If you object to anything in this story then don't read it. I have no time for flames.

Note:"…" spoken words

'…' thoughts

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Demon Ring

Chapter Eight

---

"It's too early..." Tatsuha sighed and rolled over in bed, dragging the covers over his head to block out the light coming in through the open window. The alarm clock by his bed didn't listen to him, continuing to shriek a nameless pop song until, groaning in defeat, Tatsuha leaned over and switched it off.

"Too early..." he moaned and, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, padded to the bathroom for his morning shower.

It took over thirty minutes before he noticed the single rose on his kitchen table, a small card attached to it.

Swallowing, Tatsuha gingerly grasped the flower by the stem and gently pulled the card off, opening it to see what it said.

can't get enough kanashige na kao kara

don't let me down itami sae fukuetara

one more night junsui na ai dake

tookunai mirai kanaeru sa

(Can't get enoughIf I could wipe even the pain

Don't let me down From your sad face

One more nightOnly pure love

Would be granted in the near future)

There was no signature, but he knew who had left it. The card crumpled in his clenched fist, the edge cutting lightly into his skin. It was not the first gift, nor did he think it would be the last.

The creased note was tossed into the garbage can. The rose...Tatsuha hesitated, turning the flower over in his hand, feeling the crimson velvet of the petals stroke over his fingers and the brittle bite of the thorns scratch into his hands. The rose joined the others in the small glass vase on the kitchen counter, the most recent in a bunch of nine.

"Nine..." Tatsuha hesitated again, sighed, and counted the roses. It was nine, and he wondered, through the sudden tightness in his chest, whether he should be worried that he had known that without counting.

Of course he should be worried. He should stop this, or try to stop it. He should change the locks at least. Whatever Ryu-that person's powers were, Tatsuha hadn't seen any evidence that suggested he was capable of entering a locked apartment without the necessary key.

'Which he currently has.' Tatsuha thought angrily. 'What kind of idiot am I to keep the old locks when I know he has the key to them? I'm just inviting him in. Just inviting him to-'

Hands sliding over his skin, mouth twisted into an ugly sneer one moment, sucking the breath out of him the next, eyes staring deep into his own, staring through him, mocking him and consuming him all at once in vibrant blue fire, lips not moving but the words behind them so clear...

I own you.

And a newer, fresher memory: Those same hands holding him close, arms cradling him protectively as those lips, no longer sneering, curved possessively over his own, gentle and sweet, and then those eyes staring into his own, calm and caring and maybe a bit confused, lips parting to say words he'd never imagined...

I felt that I needed you somehow...don't know what you've done to me...I just want you.

I just want you.

And Tatsuha had felt so cared for and so safe, held in his arms but not locked there, not owned but maybe cherished. For a moment he'd felt as if maybe Ryu-that person might really, could possibly lo-

The sound of the vase breaking in the sink was hideously loud, and Tatsuha stared at the mess of glass, water, and cut flowers, his eyes wild.

It was wrong. It was too wrong. That person would never feel that way. He couldn't. He'd proven it. Tatsuha's hand drifted to his throat, pressing down on the two slight ridges of scar tissue, knowing what had put them there, silently replaying the event in his mind.

"I'll never be yours." He was relieved when his voice didn't shake, the words sounding as decisive as they could.

"Never." Biting his lip raw, Tatsuha carefully picked all nine of the roses out of the sink, shaking them free of any shards of glass still clinging to them. Hating himself for it, but still unable to stop, Tatsuha found another vase in his cupboards and, after filling it with water, almost reverently placed the nine roses in it before turning to the mess in the sink.

"Never."

--

Ryuichi sighed, chewing idly on Kumagorou's ear as he watched Tohma talk briefly to Sakano, later watching the producer suffer what looked like a nervous breakdown in front of the group he was producing. The panicking brunette was slightly amusing, he supposed, but Ryuichi wasn't sure why Tohma felt it necessary to intimidate the poor man every time he saw him.

"So Shachou said that Shindou-kun must have his lyrics written by Friday at the latest and-" he paused suddenly "K-san, I don't think that pointing that at Shindou-kun will result in him writing the lyrics any faster." K, the Magnum still in his hand, laughed and drew a protesting Sakano into his arms.

"AH my dear Sakano-san if you wanted my attention you only had to say!" This statement resulted in Sakano's face imitating a tomato and Shuichi deciding to, foolishly in Ryuichi's opinion, jump to Sakano's defense. Ryuichi found himself morbidly fascinated with the resulting mayhem.

It was only much later that Bad Luck managed to, through both the strategic use of Sakano's hysterics and K's Magnum, enter the recording studio, leaving Ryuichi alone for the rest of the afternoon.

Ryuichi had been working at NG for three weeks. Tohma had only had to hear him sing once to realize the potential he had. Now, Ryuichi found himself working as the lead singer in a three person group which included a sweet girl named Noriko and Tohma himself, a move that, Sakano informed him, had resulted in shockwaves travelling through NG Studios.

The three of them made up Nittle Grasper, the newest group NG would promote. For the past few weeks, all they'd been doing was working on song lyrics for their album.

Ryuichi loved it.

Finally, he was doing something he enjoyed. Writing lyrics and singing the songs he'd written were wonderful experiences, especially when he had such lovely inspiration.

Speaking of inspiration, his thoughts drifted to this morning, when he had watched Tatsuha's discovery of one more gift, when he'd seen him break the vase holding the nine roses Ryuichi had left for him, and when he'd seen him carefully put them back in their place.

Ryuichi went back every morning to leave a new flower and a new message, always one he'd written himself. They were all lyrics intended for his music, but most of all intended for Tatsuha, who still seemed determined to deny what Ryuichi had realized so long ago.

"I do love you." He whispered and humming softly to himself, pulled out the small notebook he used to write lyrics, mostly lyrics about the boy he loved.

Ryuichi smiled to himself and absently began to sing.

"Can't get enough kanashige na kao kara/don't let me down itami sae fukuetara/one more night junsui na ai dake/tookunai mirai kanaeru sa."

Can't get enoughIf I could wipe even the pain

Don't let me down From your sad face

One more night Only pure love

Would be granted in the near future

As the familiar words fell from his lips, Ryuichi felt something unclench in his chest. Thinking about Tatsuha was so easy, picturing him was easier. Tatsuha was beautiful. Tatsuha was his everything. And Tatsuha would be his.

Being so secure in that knowledge meant that Ryuichi didn't mind having to wait just a little longer till the pretty painter figured that out.

But maybe...maybe more of a direct approach was necessary.

--

Japanese pop music blared loudly through the apartment. Tatsuha sighed and stretched, leaning over to switch the alarm off. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he staggered to the bathroom for a shower.

Humming quietly to himself, the song from the demo CD Mika had brought him stuck in his head, Tatsuha went into the kitchen to make coffee. He decided to ignore the 'gift' that had been left for him on the table. He knew what it was anyway. He was feeling a bit too tired to deal with it right away.

The buzzer rang, and Tatsuha moved to answer it, only briefly hesitating before opening the door. His sigh of relief caught in his throat when he found both Shuichi and his brother standing outside his door, the latter glaring coldly at him.

"Tatsuha!" Shuichi's face, however, lit up at the sight of him, causing Tatsuha to once again doubt his sanity.

"What took you so long brat?" Tatsuha rolled his eyes at the question, stepping aside to let the pair into the apartment. Eiri continued to glare at him as he brushed past, but the look was softer, somehow, than the one he would get when his brother was really irritated, so Tatsuha didn't pay any attention to it.

"So, to what do I owe the honour of your presence?" Tatsuha asked wryly, mildly concerned at Eiri's sudden smirk and the blossoming of an expression of manic cheerfulness on Shuichi's face.

"We're having a concert!" Shuichi yelled, and Tatsuha suddenly understood why Eiri was there as he watched the smirk grow.

'The bastard...' He thought and sighed inwardly, because really, now he'd be expected to show interest in the event and he somehow couldn't bring himself to care too much, especially with the present waiting for him on his kitchen table. The knowledge that he still couldn't stop thinking about that person made him scowl inside, but Tatsuha decided he should at least pretend to be excited, or risk his brother's wrath for hurting Shuichi's feelings.

"That's great Shuichi. When is it?" The pink haired singer beamed up at him.

"It's at the end of next week! We're doing the concert with Tohma's new group, you know, the one he decided to play in himself. They're really good so everyone thought it would be better to do a joint concert instead of just having them open for someone and I agree! They're incredible and their vocalist is amazing! I bet that you'd really like them Tatsuha!"

Tatsuha stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, amazed at the speed at which the words had come out of Shuichi's mouth. Finally, he smiled again and opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off again.

"You'll come to the concert right Tatsuha?" Shuichi suddenly looked slightly apprehensive, "It's just...I really think you would like it, since you do listen to Bad Luck and since Nittle Grasper's music is sort of similar...Mika-san also mentioned that she gave you their demo and you liked it so I thought it would be fun..." Tatsuha nodded absently, suddenly aware of his brother's scrutiny. Scowling, he glared at him until Eiri's lips quirked into a strange mix of a smirk and a smile and he looked away.

"So you'll come right?" He jerked his head back to Shuichi, who was watching him anxiously.

"Sure." The smile was more genuine this time. "But you're going to pay if I get bored Shuichi."

Shuichi let out a whoop of delight, bounding across the room into Eiri's arms. Happily, he kissed him briefly before bounding into the kitchen, saying something over his shoulder about calling to get him tickets.

"You'd better go now that you've said you will." Tatsuha jerked in surprise, turning to stare at his brother, who calmly lit a new cigarette and met his gaze. "When's the last time you went out?" Tatsuha almost laughed, but the tone of voice his brother used made him pause.

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously. Eiri just watched him for a moment and then sighed.

"If you don't show up then that idiot will complain like hell for a week." Tatsuha eyed him narrowly.

'He was serious.' He thought, and grinned at his brother, who only raised one eyebrow in silent query.

"If I'd known all it would take was Shuichi to make you so completely whipped..." He trailed off as Eiri kicked up his glare a notch and the grin softened into a smile. "I won't cancel aniki. I promise."

Eiri didn't say anything, but Tatsuha felt like he understood, and when Shuichi came back from the other room, there was no indication from either sibling that the exchange had taken place.

"Tatsuha..." He looked up at the strange tone to Shuichi's voice.

"What is it?" He frowned at the expression on Shuichi's face, a strange mix of confusion, cheerfulness, and something that probably meant the vocalist wasn't happy.

"I was going to call K to make sure we got tickets for you...but you already had one on your kitchen table." His smile was slightly strained. "If you already knew about the concert you only had to say. I wouldn't have minded if you-"

"I didn't know." Tatsuha suddenly felt a sense of foreboding twist inside his stomach. "I mean...this was the first I'd heard of a concert. Mika gave me the CD, but not a ticket..."

"Well...it's possible it was a gift." Shuichi's words were like a knife stabbing into his gut. "I mean, there was a rose with a card attached to it. The ticket was inside." He stopped at the expression on Tatsuha's face. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

Tatsuha suddenly felt like he was underwater, his breath catching unpleasantly in the back of his throat. He couldn't breathe properly, he couldn't see clearly, and it was hard to hear over the sudden roaring in his ears.

'What the hell-how could he possibly...' Ignoring Shuichi's solicitous words and his brother's concerned stares, Tatsuha stumbled to the kitchen, sitting abruptly when he saw what Shuichi had seen, the rose, the note, and now, lying innocuously on the table, one small rectangle of paper cardboard identifying it as a ticket to the joint concert between Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper.

Trembling ever so slightly, Tatsuha opened the note, reading the words for the first time.

/Tatsuha,

I wanted to see you again, to prove to you what I feel for you, to show you what you are to me. Maybe I hurt you too much for you to just forgive, to just believe what is true. I love you. I want you. Please, come listen to me, watch me. Let me show you what you mean to me.

Ryuichi/

And then, the customary lyrics, this time with a message Tatsuha didn't really want to hear.

Can't get enough kotoba yori mo motto

Don't let me down tashika ni misete hoshii

One more night suka ni kizutsuita

kimi ga mitsumeru me sono saki ni

(Can't get enough More than words, I want

Don't let me down To show you more surely

One more night The eyes that watch

You who are faintly wounded, from that point...)

Ryuichi had signed it this time and had actually written a short letter, Tatsuha realized suddenly, and the bitterness that had welled up inside when he had first read the card began to recede.

"Tatsuha?" He looked up to see Shuichi and Eiri staring at him. They looked worried, even his brother was watching him with something more than his usual ice princess expression on his face. "Are you ok?" Tatsuha took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before smiling at them and answering.

"I'm fine." He noticed Eiri's eyes narrow. "I'm serious. I'm fine. I just-I forgot that my...my friend brought over these things before and...he never mentioned the ticket so it was a bit of a surprise. But I'm fine. Really." Shuichi still looked unconvinced, but nodded, seemingly willing to let it go, even though it was obvious that whatever the person who had brought the ticket was, they weren't just Tatsuha's friend.

"Alright, well...I'm glad you're coming Tatsuha...even if I don't get to give you the ticket!" He smiled sweetly, and Tatsuha returned it shakily, trying to avoid looking at his brother. Eiri was still watching him narrowly, an expression of cold disbelief on his face. Tatsuha got the distinct impression he wasn't buying his story at all.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Eiri had been perfectly content to ignore him before and Tatsuha had been fine with that, even if it had hurt at first. Now though...now Eiri seemed like he really wanted to know what was going on...and Tatsuha had a secret he didn't think he wanted his brother to know.

--

Ryuichi was not in a good mood. Everything was moving much more slowly than anticipated and Tatsuha was not responding the way that he wanted. He'd delivered the ticket and he knew Tatsuha was going, Shuichi had been instrumental in ensuring that, but now he wasn't sure what to do except wait.

Ryuichi wasn't good at waiting.

He knew Tatsuha cared for him and he knew the painter wanted him. The kiss they had shared told him that. He knew that they could be happy, but Ryuichi wasn't sure that he had the right to experience that kind of happiness with Tatsuha. After all, he'd hurt him. He loved him but caused him pain. Maybe, after everything he'd done, Ryuichi didn't have the right to force Tatsuha to face the feelings he had for him.

"No, stop it K-san." Ryuichi was shaken from his melancholy by the breathless sound from the next hallway. Silently, he made his way over and peered around the corner. "Someone will see us." Sakano, his slender form pressed back into the wall by K's larger frame, pushed ineffectually at the other man's shoulders. K, smiling indulgently and more than a little wickedly, gently gripped the back of the producer's head, tugging it back by his hair as he stole Sakano's glasses with his other hand.

"Does it matter?" K practically purred as he lowered his mouth to Sakano's ear, nipping it so that the producer arched into him, gasping and flushing in a way Ryuichi had never imagined the alternately serious or spastic man could manage. "Anyone watching will only know that you're beautiful," he pressed a kiss to Sakano's throat "responsive," he licked lightly at his mouth "and all mine." K kissed Sakano hungrily, pulling the smaller man's body up into his own, and sliding one leg up between his legs so that Sakano cried out into his mouth.

When K finally released him, Sakano sagged into the wall behind him gasping for breath, looking flushed and dishevelled in a way that Ryuichi was sure would excite him more if he weren't wishing Tatsuha and he could share the same kind of moment and that Tatsuha was the one gasping for breath after participating in what had definitely been a completely consensual kiss.

"K-san..." Ryuichi's heart clenched at the sweet, innocently lustful, and loving look the small producer was giving the larger American. To his surprise, K leaned forward and gently brushed Sakano's bangs from his face, kissing him chastely on the forehead.

"I know. You have to meet Tohma about the new album soon and I have to make sure Shuichi doesn't skip out early to meet that damn writer." His gentle smile took on a wicked twist and he leaned in closer, whispering words into Sakano's ear that Ryuichi was sure he wouldn't have heard if he were human. "You're mine tonight though. I won't let you go." A possessive glint shone in his eyes at Sakano's slight nod and he kissed the slender man lightly on the lips before gently pushing him towards the other end of the hallway. With another sweet smile, Sakano walked away, nervously straightening his clothing and hair.

K watched him go until he was out of sight, something Ryuichi found strangely endearing, before turning around to walk in the opposite direction, putting Ryuichi directly in his line of sight.

"Oh." Ryuichi was slightly disturbed by the creepy smile that started to grow on the big American's face. "How long have you been there?"

"A while." Ryuichi wasn't afraid when K started smiling maniacally, he was quite capable of dealing with a violent K, but he felt that violence, although likely, was unnecessary and told him so. "I won't tell anyone."

"Why not?" K didn't sound suspicious so Ryuichi relaxed marginally. He was starting to feel a bit embarrassed, mostly because he wanted to ask so many questions. Questions about how K had managed to get Sakano to look at him like that, as if he were the centre of the producer's world, and how Ryuichi could ever get the one he loved to look at him the same way.

"I want to know what it means." Ryuichi paused, chewing thoughtfully at his lip. "If you care for someone like that...how do you let them know what you feel? How do you make them understand it's not a lie or a way to manipulate them?" K stared at him for a long moment until Ryuichi began to fidget under his gaze.

"When I knew I wanted him I cornered him in the studio when we were working late and threatened him with my Magnum until he told me the truth about how he felt for me."

"You can't be serious."

"He wouldn't tell me at first. He was afraid of what I would say or what I would do." K paused, smiling slightly at the memory. "He didn't believe me when I told him that I wanted him. He didn't see himself as someone that could be wanted that way. I had to do many things to convince him." He smirked and Ryuichi felt a little sorry for Sakano. "Many things."

"The person that I want" Ryuichi hesitated "I hurt him. Badly." K didn't say anything and encouraged, Ryuichi continued. "I didn't want to feel the way I did so I tried to deny it by hurting him, but it didn't work and now" his voice dropped to a whisper "now he might hate me and I want him so much that it burns inside of me, but there's so much I never said and so much that I did to him...I can try and try but he might never be able to accept me even though I know that he wants me at least a little bit." To his surprise Ryuichi felt his eyes sting with the beginning of tears. "Every time I see him I just want to hold onto him as tightly as I can, but I know he won't let me. Not so easily."

"Does he know what you want?" K's quiet question startled him into silence and Ryuichi stared at him, eyes wide. "I had to fight for Sakano to accept me. I fought and he finally accepted that I wanted him, that I wasn't just trying to get in his pants. For him, empty sex would never have been enough." He paused. "It might be the same for you. You may have to fight to convince him that you really want him, that you don't want to manipulate him. Show him that you what you feel is real and he might be able to forgive you for what you've done."

"I don't believe that I deserve to be forgiven." Ryuichi tightened his hold on Kumagorou and his teeth bit down hard on the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood in his mouth.

"That's the beauty of love and forgiveness." K said wryly. "It's not about what you deserve, it's about what the other person wants to give you. When I first approached Sakano, I nearly made him cry by pushing him too hard. I wanted him so desperately that I didn't think clearly about what I was doing to him, so long as I could have him. He tried to push me away afterwards. I wouldn't let him. Finally, he decided that he'd stop pushing. Now I have him and he has me."

"Was it worth it?" The coppery taste of the blood in his mouth was making him feel slightly ill, but Ryuichi ignored it, deciding that the sickness was necessary.

"I have him and he has me." K said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "That will always be worth it."

--

It was dark before Ryuichi moved from the roof of NG studios where he'd gone after K had left to find Shuichi. He lay on his back, staring up at the clouds still visible in the twilight. Soon he would have to go home, think of what to leave Tatsuha the next day, think of what to say.

"Can I really say 'I love you' so easily?" Ryuichi mused out loud. "Will you believe me?" He reached up to the sky, staring at the back of his hand. "How many times can the subject say it until the object of the emotion believes it?"

"Truth is never easy Ryuichi." He whispered. "Truth is not when I say I love you but when I say I want you." He frowned. "Or it was so long ago. But Tatsuha is nothing like she was. She lied when she told me those things and only when she gave me away did she tell me the truth. He isn't like that and I...I shouldn't be like her. Not to him." He brought his hand closer, staring at the palm and the small burn scar at its centre.

"Lying is when I told you that I hate you and when I made your blood burn like poison inside of you." He pressed his lips to the scar reverentially. "Truth is when I tell you I love you and promise my eternal protection and devotion. Truth is when I hold you close and soothe you when you cry, not when I cause your tears." The same hand reached again, and the scar seemed to glow in the twilight.

Tatsuha

"You are not what she was and I can trust you with my life."

---

Tsuzuku