That's how death felt?

She always imagined it as some kind of darkness swiping her from earth's sweet sunshine. She associated it with agony, pain and something akin to torture.

She was wrong.

That's how life felt, when evil clutched her arms and kept her in an empty space her whole life. Until her prince came along, her handsome grown up little prince who pulled her from this pit to a life where light was more bearable.

Even her ex nemesis held a dear place in her heart, Snow White, her friend, and her stepdaughter. The one who taught her how to open her heart to the possibility of a happy ending again.

And Emma, the savior she despised so much for 2 years but ended up being the family she thought she only had with Henry. The one who promised her she'll move hell and heaven so Regina can get a happy ending.

Oh and sweet Robin, her soul mate, her lover, her best friend. And beautiful Roland. The ones who knocked on the walls protecting her heart and healed her nastiest scars without being disgusted by all the evil she inflicted in the enchanted forest and Storybrooke combined. Her happy ending.

But now, now this feels like a far away dream impossible to reach. She's far too lost in darkness. Not the darkness that claimed her a long time ago at a cost of an unloving mother, an uncaring mentor and a dead fiancée. No, a soothing darkness, feathers like bed, filled with pieces of her life she can see in different corners. Of the last decade anyway.

Death was forgiving, it let her see the moment she adopted Henry, the first time he called her mommy, the first time she cooked soup because he was sick, the first time she kissed away the tears caused by a scratch or a broken leg. The time he looked at her, understanding in his eyes (her boy was too smart for his own age, oh how proud she is, will always be) and assured her that she wasn't a villain but his mom. As if his mom didn't snap necks and ripped out hearts for her collections. But her perfect little prince forgave her and that's what mattered.

It let her see the moment when Rumple told her with a tint of hatred in his tone "maybe next time, they'll invite you to dinner" only to be replaced by a warm night at Granny's eating fries with the Charmings. They did invite her to dinner, plenty of times. Only because Emma has the purest hearts and believed her all along (she feels guilty because she realized it too late)

And it let her feel again the gentle lips of her thief on her own, his hands around her heart the day she got it back. His calloused fingers on her bare skin while they made love.

But all her happiness was snatched away once again. Because she isn't only Henry's mom, she is after all a villain. And Regina was a bitch to fate for a long time now, so it was fate's turn (again) to change everything Regina knew and loved.

But now, she didn't feel sad or empty as the time Henry left with Emma or when Marian came back or when her Mother slapped her and Rumple threw her on the floor just to teach her to never fight him.

Now, she was serene because she saved her life. And by her life, she means Henry. And Mother was so wrong, love isn't weakness, it's the strongest magic of them all.

Zelena made it clear, it was either she or Henry. And saving her little prince was the best way to die. So she let death consume her body mere seconds after watching her son's lungs expanding with air again, and hear her name called by her family (yes the charmings, the Locksleys and miss swan were her family along with her angel).

And all was right again: she was dead and her child was safe. Everyone in this town could fine happiness without her again, but never without Henry. They needed a true believer and not an evil queen.

She only hoped they could defeat Zelena once and for all (even though a part of her wanted people to guide her sister on the way to redemption just like Henry did with her) and bring Emma to the good side again. Henry needed his birth mother now more than ever and she really wished she could help the savior right now. Maybe dying was the only way to do it, loosing Henry might not only lead to darker swan but to an uncontrollable evil queen wanting to slit her sister's throat open. The town was safe with her family and her family was safe with the town.

Her last wish was probably to be an angel, free as a feather, roaming in the streets of Storybrooke making sure everyone is safe because she is the mayor after all. Even her dying corpse itches to protect her loved ones, to live again.

But it was too late, death wanted her and she gave herself willingly so why fight now?

With that last thought, she felt soothing hands claiming her and ripping her (existent?) soul away from her numb limbs.

That's exactly how death felt.

It felt like winning, even though she lost everything.

I'm sorry? Idk if it lived up to expectations but i was feeling kind of sad and wanted to write this even though I'd kill Adam and Ed if they kill Regina haha. Leave reviews (bad or good) it makes me happy.

Thanks for reading x - Lea