This is a one-shot that doesn't sound like a one-shot. It might be built on later, but I highly doubt it. Enjoy the angst/humour because I'm a terrible person and can't decide what style to write in.

Lee was gay. He was very gay and always had been. He was very comfortable in the fact, despite how many might consider his proclamations of love towards Sakura as indications of sexual confusion. In fact, he would have probably been out of the closet a while ago if it weren't for one particular problem; Gai-sensei.

More specifically, the rumours surrounding Gai-sensei. Now, there really weren't many things that could anger Lee; he was remarkably emotionally resilient. He sprang back from most things – near lethal attacks, Neji's continual denial of their friendship, jabs at his appearance. Any of these things he could shrug off with a smile, letting his anger dissipate into the air like steam. But the rumours, the whispers and sniggers that shinobi exchanged when their thought Lee couldn't hear, they were enough to make him beat a hasty retreat before he opened a gate to deal with the slanderers. That anyone would honestly think that his teacher, kind and passionate was someone like, like that! Lee hated the words that were bandied about – paedophile, pederast, kiddy fiddler – with an intense loathing nobody could imagine the polite boy to even possess. He knew his teammates felt the same, although they weren't as open with their emotions as Lee was. He knew them enough, though, to register Neji tensing in anger, and Tenten's lips curling in disgust when those rumours filtered down to them from the village gossip mill.

Although Neji and Tenten perhaps weren't fond of Gai-sensei's passion in life in its entirety, but they accepted it simply as their teacher's personality (Tenten suspected the man to be unable to have children himself, so his paternal love was in part responsible to his attitude towards their team).

So Lee didn't want to come out as gay because he knew it would affect his teacher. He wasn't as naïve as most people thought him to be. He'd already heard the jokes about his and Gai-sensei's relationship, the idea that there was something sexual about it, and if he came out, he knew most shinobi would take that as confirmation. Or worse, that Gai-sensei had somehow turned him gay. After all, Gai-sensei was a weirdo, wasn't he? He dressed like a queer, he acted so unnaturally, he wasn't married (despite most high ranking shinobi choosing to forgo long-term relationships on principle). After all that it would just make sense for him to be so inclined, and dear lord, we shouldn't let that man near children.

The idea that Lee's inclinations would cause Gai-sensei to lose respect in the eyes of his peers, to have lies about him cast into the moulds of truth, to have him be subjected to undue scrutiny just because Lee wanted to date another man…he couldn't live with doing that to a man he loved like a father, although he'd never tell his teacher that. After all, Lee didn't want to seem creepy either, and he wasn't really sure if his teacher just appreciated him as a favourite student (and at this thought Lee sent a silent apology towards Tenten and Neji) or a son. Lee had enough experience to realise he got attached very strongly very easily and he'd accepted that sometimes he misread familial situations to an embarrassing degree.

So, Lee wasn't about to come out of the closet anytime soon, or at all if necessary. He knew he wasn't exactly boyfriend material in the first place; sure, he had a good physique, but his appearance was unusual to say the least, no matter how much he himself appreciated the spandex and bowl-cut. Really, with his appearance he wasn't sure he could snag a date even if it was obvious whom he fancied.

These really were all his thoughts on the subject, and he'd been happy to put his love-life on the back burner since had was fourteen, but after the night he'd just had…well, it had just brought the subject back to the forefront of his mind.

xxxxx

The night had started out pretty well. Very well, actually. For once, all of the Konoha Eleven (and Sai) were in the village at the same time, especially rare with Shikamaru running backwards and forwards between Suna and Konoha. To celebrate, Ino and Sakura had invited all twelve shinobi and kunoichi together for a meal at The Red Panda, a cosy restaurant that was a comfortable medium between takeout and a dinner date for two. They were all sat around three tables pushed together, chatting comfortably between each other, catching up with missions run and ranks risen. Then the conversation had turned to romance, as it is wont to do when anything is discussed between a bunch of teenagers. Every person had been subjected to a grilling about their love-life, Shikamaru admitting begrudgingly that he and Temari could technically be termed as dating, if you were concerned with such a troublesome label.

Chouji would only admit that he had his eye on a girl and Ino managed to needle him until he let slip that she worked at a clothing store in the civilian section. Lee had the private thought that Chouji really shouldn't have said that, because Ino, armed with even such measly clues, would undoubtedly manage to find the girl and then act out her own rom-com, wherein she would attempt to play matchmaker.

Lee himself was tactfully passed over, as when Ino's eyes had alighted on him Sakura had shifted uncomfortably. He really was sorry for making her feel so distressed; when he'd first seen her he'd been so entranced by her beauty, and he still was to some extent, that he'd spontaneously confessed his love for her. At thirteen he'd been relieved to have such feelings towards a girl; he'd been sick of being different. Since he'd never had romantic feelings towards girls before, he had simply assumed her to be The One for him. As he'd aged, that had changed, of course. Lee still found her very beautiful, of course, who wouldn't, but he'd realised he hadn't even known her when he'd confessed. And, well, there was really no right moment to tell her he wasn't chasing her anymore. Perhaps that was simply an excuse to avoid an embarrassing and potentially revealing conversation, but so be it.

The evening turned from good to bad very fast when Ino's romantic investigations landed on Team Eight's Shino Aburame. Now, Lee and Kiba got on relatively well; they were both loud, energetic and very honest. Lee had never really talked much to Shino or Hinata – the Aburame had seemed very reserved, and from Neji and Lee's interaction, he'd gathered that Shino would just find him annoying, so he'd kept his distance.

Now, even though it was unfair to judge by appearances, Lee was also human, and the idea of Shino and romance being mentioned in the same sentence felt incredibly strange. Ino had jumped on it, of course.

"What about you, bug-boy? I know your dad will probably make you marry some other clan heiress of something eventually, but aren't you even a bit interested in finding a girlfriend?" She needled.

Before Shino could open his mouth to deliver some deadpan response, Kiba had taken another long drink of his third beer that night and had punched his friend, whom he was sitting next to, playfully in the shoulder.

"More like boyfriend, no?" He'd joked.

An immediate silence had settled over the table as every eye turned towards the two teammates. Shino put down his own cup with a small clink.

"I had in fact told nobody that apart from you and Hinata, Kiba." He'd said, quietly.

Ino squeaked.

"Wait, Shino, you're gay?"

The Aburame seemed to shrink even further into his coat.

"That would be an accurate assumption." Came the dry response.

Naruto had leaned across the table at that point.

"Ne ne, does that mean you're attracted to us, dattebayo?" He'd asked. In that moment, Lee had wanted to punch his friend.

Instead of the more violent option, Shino had abruptly stood up.

"I do not think I wish to have this conversation. Why? Because it is none of your business. I will retire for the night." He'd said. Lee thought he'd heard a small shake in the man's voice and his heart had thumped painfully in sympathy as Shino placed some coins on the table before turning and leaving the restaurant. Nobody had tried to stop him.

On Kiba's other side, Hinata had turned on him, pale eyes narrowed angrily.

"Well done, Kiba. I think I'm done tonight as well." She snapped, without her usual stammering. It was a rare sight to see the Hyuuga heiress so angry, but Lee supposed a big secret revealed by a trusted friend would certainly do it. He wondered how Kiba would make up for outing a self-conscious shinobi like Shino. He wondered if he could. In a flutter of dark hair, Hinata had stood, also laying down her payment and ducking out of the building, taking with her her coat and another that was probably Shino's.

For a moment Kiba looked genuinely confused, before looking down at the beer in his hand. Lee could practically see the lightbulb blinking to life over his head. Kiba planted his face on the table.

"SHIT." He shouted, voice muffled by the wood.

Lee wanted to leave. He really wanted to leave, because he knew what would happen now. Now his friends would gossip and theorise and spread lies like they were truths and Lee didn't want to hear it, because at the end of the night someone would say something that would hit a bit too close to home and Lee would absorb that and go home and just, just hate himself. He didn't want to fall back into that trap like he'd done when he was fourteen and had his Moment of Enlightenment.

It was only by chance that his gaze alighted on Tenten. She was staring intently at the table, hand clenched around her cup of sake. He could see she was stubbornly biting her lip and suddenly he knew.

Lee had suspected, of course, but he'd never told anyone, because he made a point to never trade in half-truths and guesses. Even now he might be misreading the situation, although he doubted it, but either way Tenten was obviously uncomfortable.

Just as the conversation was picking up around them in a rising buzz (and Lee deliberately tuned out the whispers of Shino's name – he might not know the bug-user well, but he respected him, especially tonight), Lee stood up. It might seem suspicious if he suddenly left alone after Shino's revelation. But now…

"Tenten, you don't look well. Would you like me to take you home?" He asked, loud enough that Chouji beside him could hear (and later repeat), his excuse.

Normally, Tenten would be offended at the suggestion that she couldn't take care of herself, but tonight Lee could see the visible relief as she nodded, standing up only slightly shakily. Lee chose to blame that on the alcohol, and not the tension he himself had felt since the conversation had taken this turn. Tenten whispered something to Neji, who nodded and then she grabbed their coats and dragged Lee from the establishment.

Lee felt the sudden release of his anxiety mirrored in the slumping of Tenten's shoulders as they walked together in silence. Their wandering feet hadn't taken them anywhere in particular. At this point it was about eleven in the evening, and most establishments were closed, and the quiet of Konoha's streets were like a soothing balm to the two friends.

"How did you know?" Tenten suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?" Lee responded. He didn't want to assume anything.

"That I'm gay." She said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Lee felt a rush of warmth that his friend trusted him with such a bold admission, especially after the evening they had just had.

"I didn't know. I thought, perhaps, that your relationship with Sakura-san had changed in the past few years. I thought you might be looking for something else." Lee shrugged. He remembered when they had been fourteen and Sakura had just become Tsunade's apprentice, Tenten had lamented that she never got to fight her idol's student. Her bid for Sakura's attention had slowly morphed from that challenging attitude to something softer. He had noticed Tenten subtly checking her appearance when Sakura was around, or finding some excuse to talk to the pink haired ninja, even over trivial things. And even when Sakura never noticed the attention, Tenten seemed happy with what little recognition she was getting.

Now Tenten was frowning.

"Ah, I'm sorry Lee, I didn't think you'd notice about Sakura-" Lee waved his hand.

"It is no problem, Tenten. I do not feel that way about Sakura-san any longer, although of course my admiration has only increased for her strength."

Lee wanted to tell Tenten. He wanted to confide in her, to show her she wasn't alone; it would surely be more of a comfort to know she shared this secret with her teammate than Shino, whom she knew no better than Lee did. But he couldn't. Gai-sensei's honour meant more to Lee than his and Tenten's kinship in that moment. Besides, he would do his best to support her, even if she did not know about this part of him.

They had both lapsed back into silence at that point, and after another ten minutes weaving their way through the sleeping streets of Konoha, had parted ways by Tekidan Takeaway, the food outlet that her family owned and had their home above. She'd whispered a final 'thank you' to Lee, before disappearing inside the dark store.

Lee made his own way home, deep in thought

Xxxxx

Lee sighed to himself. Now that his brain was firmly mired in the Swamps of Sexuality, he couldn't stop it from thinking back on his Moment of Enlightenment (a memory that has now been made slightly less amusing for that day's revelations…

Xxxxx

Lee liked to accompany Neji on the rare occasions the boy liked to go drinking. At fourteen and a genin, he was considered an adult in shinobi establishments, and thus was entitled to alcohol if he was willing to pay for it. Not that Neji drank often, but he had developed a taste for the umeshu served in the local shinobi bar Izakayaki, denoted by its yellow paper lanterns strung outside the bar. He'd sometimes go there if he needed a break from, well, from being Neji. Someone with as reserved and stoic a persona as he needed to relax ever so often too, and he could only do that if he wasn't 100% aware he was doing it, which meant alcohol.

The first time Lee had seen Neji in Izakayaki he had been asked to pick up some shouchuu for Kotetsu-san. He suspected that the bottle would find itself vanishing from Kotetsu-san's desk and mysteriously re-appearing in Hokage-sama's instead, but that was none of Lee's business. He was just doing the chuunin a favour since he was stuck on desk duty in the mission room and he'd looked so downtrodden Lee had felt bad for the man. So he was in the bar just to grab the drink Kotetsu-san had written down for him when he had spotted his teammate in a quiet corner, reading some popular adventure novel Lee had seen on sale recently, and drinking.

Lee had figured Kotetsu-san could wait a bit for his drink (after all, he wouldn't need it until after his shift, he had reasoned naively). He'd approached his teammate, intending only to say a brief hello before excusing himself from his stoic friend's prescence – after all, Neji didn't seem to much like Lee during training, he certainly didn't need him to intrude on his downtime.

It turned out that Neji became…very friendly when tipsy. Lee had seen his Neji smile for the first time that day, and he had made jokes and indicated for Lee to join him.

While this was a welcome change from Neji's usual cold demeanour towards him, it had also left Lee with a very uncomfortable feeling. He hadn't felt comfortable letting Neji walk home like that, with his defences down and suddenly friendly. Either he might find himself attacked, or he could run into someone he knew who wasn't as good at keeping secrets as Lee was. So Lee had ended up forgoing the shouchuu and had instead escorted Neji back to the Hyuuga compound, where the other boy had thanked him warmly and vanished inside.

When Lee had tried to bring it up the next day, Neji had shot him an icy glare, not talking to him during training, even when Gai-sensei had tried to force the issue, noticing the rift between the boys. In the end Lee had had to corner Neji and explain to him that he wasn't sure Neji being so defenceless was a good idea, what with him being a very prominent figure in Konoha. It left him open to too many dangers. Instead he'd proposed that he accompany Neji on his drinking excursions – after all, they had seemed to get on pretty well the day before, and he already knew about his habit and hadn't told anyone. It had taken a while, but eventually Neji had given in, exasperated, whether to the logic of having a sober ninja around at the time or because Lee was being a pest was irrelevant.

The important thing was that Neji would sometimes knock on Lee's door after training with a thunderous, stressed expression on his face. Without words they'd make their way to Izakayaki and Neji would drink while Lee would order some of their yakitori or kushiyaki. Then they'd talk, Lee would store away secrets that would never see the light of day and then Lee would make sure Neji got home and he'd return to his own apartment. It was a cut and dried routine within a few months.

It was about three weeks after the first meeting that Lee was escorting Neji home when the drunk teenager stopped walking a street before they reached the Hyuuga home. Lee tugged at his friend's arm, but Neji just swayed on the spot, looking at his teammate with glazed eyes.

"Come, Neji, we are nearly at your home and then you can regain your youthful strength by sleeping. In fact, that is something I too wish to do, so please move your feemmmph-"

For a moment Lee's brain crashed, noting only that the air's humidity was making Neji's hair slightly frizzy. Then his brain rebooted and registered that yes, he was being kissed, and yes, the one doing the kissing, was in fact Neji. For a first kiss, it could have been worse.

Before Lee could do much, Neji had pulled back, his pale eyes still slightly unfocussed.

"Ne-"

Lee would possibly appreciate the situation more if he got to finish his sentences before being kissed. Although, now that he was thinking about it, the situation was strangely nice. Belatedly, Lee realised he should probably untangle himself from his drunk teammate before anyone saw the two. But it did feel quite nice…

"Mmmh, Tenten…" Neji muttered.

And oh, okay, there was Lee's motivation for gently (for Lee, that is) unclasping Neji's hands, which had found themselves on the other boy's shoulders, and pulling their lips apart. Mentally, he added that little secret to his veritable treasure trove. Neji really had no self-control in these instances.

No kidding, Lee thought to himself, blushing from head to toe, as he stared at his friend, still swaying in front of him. He just hoped Neji was too drunk to remember this tomorrow, or Lee would just have to die of embarrassment (which he thought was a very unfair trade-off, since it was Neji who kissed him in the first place, but the Hyuuga was too good at compartmentalising to die of embarrassment).

"Er, Neji?" He asked, tentatively stepping forwards, ready to step back if his friend made another move on him.

"Hmm?" Neji hummed. Lee grabbed him by the elbow and started pulling him towards the end of the street, which then turned off to the entrance to the clan compound. Thankfully, no more awkward situations arose on the way, and Neji made the rest of the way. Normally Lee would hand him off to one of the guards at the entrance to the Hyuuga house, but he couldn't possibly face anyone after, after that. Instead, he simply gave Neji a shove at the start of the clan grounds and hurried away. His friend could make the short distance down the gravelled path to his house safely, he was sure.

It was only when he'd walked a whole street back to his apartment, when the reality of what just happened crashed down on him. Lee decided to brace himself against a house dramatically, because it felt like the right thing to do in this situation.

Neji had kissed him.

Neji had kissed him.

Neji had kissed him.

The shuffling around of the emphasis didn't seem to improve the matter much. Setting aside the fact that he'd been hoping for his first kiss to be with Sakura-san in particular, his first kiss had been with a guy. And he's liked it.

For a moment Lee tried to reason that, well, maybe his body had thought Neji was a girl, because of his long hair and slim figure. Then he felt the need to bash his head against the house he was leaning on, but he didn't want to risk breaking it.

So.

So, Lee had been kissed.

Lee had been kissed…by a guy.

And it had been…ok..ay?

No, no. It had been…nice. Despite the slight after taste of umeshu which Lee wasn't partial too, the slightly chapped lips had felt nice. He'd liked the broadness of Neji's shoulders, and the ah, the lack of, well, breasts, and the strength he'd felt as Neji's hands had settled on his shoulders.

Lee had decided that this particular realisation would be better off being had in his own apartment. He didn't really remember even walking back, but he'd found himself in the doorway of his bedroom. Then he'd finished the process of crashing that he'd started in the street.

That night had been a mixture of self-hatred, self-doubt, realisation, acceptance and a chaotic mix of all four, with a healthy dash of hormones, which really didn't help Lee's Existential Crisis much.

It had taken a week for Lee to be able to look Neji in the eye again.

Xxxxx

Yes, so Neji had been his first kiss. Thankfully Lee hadn't tried to pursue that route – while he might have liked all of Neji's separate parts, he didn't particularly want to date the whole. Which was the first concrete idea his brain had settled on in the whole matter. It was a good foundation to start building on.

Now, two, nearly three years later it was all dust in the wind. He'd accepted that part of himself, and he had also accepted that Nothing Was Going To Happen.

Eventually, Lee managed to fall asleep. His dreams were filled with Shino and Tenten getting married, waking him up in the morning drenched in a cold sweat. He resolved that he needed to get his beloved Tenten a girlfriend.

That's it. All your faves are gay, have a nice day.