…

It was rainy. So rainy. August had been pouring out of season.

And I still stood under a semaphore at some intersection in the middle of Tokyo. I had been delaying the trip ever since Tomoe called one morning saying that there was a package for me retained at a Tokyo post office, so I had to pick it up from there. But then I got a message from the post office giving me two more days to pick it up or else they'd send it back.

So there I was one Saturday, carrying a flat box inside a plastic bag, standing under a cheap umbrella and watching the rain blur out everything four feet away from my eyes.

I heard the sound of the pedestrian's signal go off and began to walk, there were still many more blocks before the subway station I was heading to. In the middle of the street, a different sound started buzzing. It was my phone.

I picked up once I was at the other side of the street. "Hello?"

"Oreki-san, hi." The other voice, much too recognizable, spoke.

"Oh, Chitanda, what is it?"

"Have you heard from Mayaka-san?" She went right ahead.

"Mayaka? No. Why do you ask?"

"You see, two days ago I was going to meet her in Tokyo, but she cancelled it. I was waiting for her to call, but she hasn't. I've been trying to get in touch with her today but she does not answer any of my calls." She exhaled in dismay. She sounded a bit worked up.

"She probably just has work to do. Why are you so worried?" I asked, much less agitated than her.

"Because… when she called to cancel, she did not sound very well." Her voice became smaller. "I thought you might know if she's alright. Maybe from Satoshi-san?"

"I don't see why Mayaka would talk to me if she isn't answering you. But… Satoshi has been too quiet lately, now that you mention it." I pondered.

"Do you think they might have had a fight?" Her voice dreaded.

That was a possibility, but it wasn't usual and certainly not always this concerning. Chitanda most likely wasn't used to that after all.

"I don't know." I replied. "If they did, I don't think we should be meddling. Let's just wait until either of them mentions something."

"You're right. I hope they are just busy these days." Her voice came to a mutter.

"I'll check on Satoshi, if that's of any help."

"Would you? If anything happens, can you please let me know? I'd like to visit Maya-san, but I'll be patient." Chitanda immediately seemed to cheer up a little, but then she went silent for a few seconds. "Is it raining where you are, too? It has been for hours here in Tokyo."

Go figure.

"I should know, I'm crossing downtown right now."

"Is that so?! I came around for a few errands, that's why I thought of visiting Maya-san in person!" She chirped.

I left Chitanda talking alone for a moment and stopped at a corner. The rain was too heavy to see clearly across the road, but a similar silhouette to hers was there, holding up a phone against her ear. Coincidences were starting to get ridiculous.

To prove whether or not it was Chitanda, I asked:

"Let me guess… Are you at a bakery shop called 'Tous Les Jours?'"

"… Oreki-san, how could you possibly know that?" Her breath drained in awe.

"Because I'm right across the street."

From my perspective, the silhouette began to swirl around inside the shop, coming up behind the window I was facing. Then she started waving excitedly.

It surely was Chitanda.

"This is fun!" She sniggered, ever so daintily. "Wait a minute, I'm almost done here. I'll meet you outside." She rushed away from the window.

I crossed the street and stood before the establishment, a bit awkwardly but not for long. Soon she walked out. From afar all I could distinguish was her raven black hair and a beige dress; also, she was taller than the average, so that hinted too. However, from up close, her picture was as clear as day. Her long hair was neatly tied in a long, waving tail, with her bangs still outlining the soft curves of her face. And what I thought to be a dress, was actually a quite stylish raincoat. Being Chitanda, it was only to be expected. She was elegant even in nature.

She opened a peculiarly red umbrella, one that resembled the traditional attire for festivals, with lotto flowers, a few floating leaves, flying birds and a blue butterfly, stamped onto the fabric.

"Hello, again!" She smiled brightly, stepping down the stairs of the entrance. "Where are you heading?" She asked once we were at the same height, our umbrellas a centimeter away from each other, so there was no water intercepting my vision of her anymore.

"Shinjuku station." I answered automatically, surely sounding and looking quite dumbfounded.

"That's awfully far, Oreki-san." Her eyebrows pursed behind the thin locks of black hair, her voice troubled.

"Yeah, I forgot to tune in on the weather report this morning." I shook my head, getting rid of the dazed look on my face.

"I could take you there." She was eager to say. "I parked the car in a lot around the next block."

"Don't you have somewhere else to go?" I asked, though the offer was tempting, as I didn't want to get soaked through the who-knows how many more blocks I had to walk.

"Not anymore. I was just buying some pastries. I promised to take a few treats back to Kamiyama City tonight." Chitanda looked at the paper bag on her hand, excited over its contents.

"If it really isn't any trouble for you, then sure." I responded to her offer, sparking a glad smile on her face.

We began walking along the sidewalk and it didn't take her over a minute to say something else, especially since she was curious.

"What about you? What brought you here, Oreki-san?"

"This." I pulled up the plastic bag containing the package. "My sister sent it, but I have no clue of what's inside."

"How exciting, a surprise!"

She beamed and her eyes twinkled despite the lack of sun. But mine were as gray as the pavement ahead of us. I couldn't relate.

"You don't know my sister. I can't really trust a mystery box that much if it's from her. It could be a cursed book or a dissected animal for all I know." I grumped.

"Let's hope it isn't." She chortled, looking at the box with warm eyes, probably wondering what could possibly hide in there.

Still, she dropped the subject a few steps forward, and instead returned to what was keeping her heart in trouble.

"Maya-san tends to overwork when something's bothering her." Her eyes switched to her feet, so low that I wasn't able to see them. "I'm still thinking about that, because she usually forgets to take care of herself during tough times."

"I told you it probably isn't that big of a deal." I tried to help her shrug it off as I did. All she did was grin before bringing up a question.

"You have known Mayaka-san and Satoshi-san for quite a long time, right, Oreki-san?"

"More than I'd like to, yeah." I shrugged.

"How did they use to be?" Her face brightened up a little, anticipating an answer.

I didn't give it much thought before I spoke.

"Mayaka has always been the same: bossy and straightforward, even her height hasn't changed much. Satoshi, on the other hand, has matured a lot since college. He was the happy-go-lucky kind up until high school, but I guess he changed because of Mayaka."

She hummed, seemingly picturing them with her eyes now looking forward.

"That reminds me… I don't really know how it is when Satoshi-san is upset. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him get angry." She remarked with amusement.

"Satoshi always tries to be charismatic, but he has his temperamental moments every now and then, more frequently than you'd expect." I replied and she nodded slowly, a little surprised to my words.

Suddenly, she giggled quietly.

"They seem like a match made in heaven, do they not?" Chitanda sighed tenderly.

"In heaven?" I scoffed as my eyes rolled back. "I'd say in the pit of the abyss." She giggled again, and then made another question.

"For how long have they been together?"

"Um…" I put some effort into remembering the time when they stopped playing break-up-make-up, and finally stuck together. "They were already close since high-school, but didn't date formally until nearing the end of college."

"They waited for that long?" Chitanda's eyes widened in shock. "But they seem to love each other so much!"

"That doesn't rule out the fact that the two have difficult personalities. Even they forget how to handle the other from time to time." I grumped, recalling the hard time they'd always give me with every argument.

From nowhere, as it was Chitanda who started the conversation, she began to let out her thoughts in a calm, meditative voice.

"If I ever love someone that much." She began. "I think I would try to make them happy despite all of our differences. It seems like those two found a way of working together after all."

"You have to take in count your own happiness, too." I added, maybe more unaware of my own thoughts than of hers.

"Wouldn't making the other one happy, bring happiness in return?"

Chitanda raised her head, turning with a thoughtful expression but in the end smiling again before directing her eyes elsewhere.

Who knows? I thought I mumbled, but I was sure I didn't make a sound.

Things were quiet except for the constant splattering of the rain, until we turned around a corner just one block away from the parking lot. And it was then when things turned upside down.

A sudden blizzard snatched both of our umbrellas away. Chitanda's got caught in the branches of a tree on the sidewalk. While mine… mine flew all the way to the middle of a fast lane. Next thing we watched was a couple of cars running it over, bending it until it was unrecognizable.

"Oh, no!" I heard Chitanda gasp, then her hand grabbed my arm so I wouldn't get too close to the avenue. I could barely see with the wind directing water towards my eyes.

Finally, a moment after, the fury was over. A heavy, drained out of all credibility, frustrated sigh came out of my lungs.

I reached for Chitanda's umbrella first, a bit pointless as our heads were already damped. Then I ran across the street when there weren't any cars passing by, to pick up the useless skeleton of what used to be an umbrella, soon to be a piece of trash in a can. At least it was a cheap one.

"Oreki-san, I-I'm so sorry." She stammered.

"It wasn't your fault." I sighed.

"We're almost there." Her optimistic nature soon returned to her voice. "I must have another one at the back of the car, I'm sure!"

We had to walk under her red umbrella, which I offered to hold myself since I was taller. But the space was narrow, and the rain was too heavy to let us move too comfortably, so it felt cramped and rather awkward all the while.

Once we found the parking lot and were safe under the roof, Chitanda opened the doors and trunk of her car, desperately searching for another umbrella. No such luck.

But that didn't stop her empathetic nature. She swayed the handle to get rid of the excess of water, then she placed her red, and only umbrella over my free hand.

"I'll be fine, you don't have to-" I tried to return it, but she held it in place decisively, the same way she held that one card months earlier.

"This rain will not stop until tomorrow. Are you planning on waiting until then to go home? Or do you prefer to drench yourself and catch a cold?" She nagged, that sympathetic voice of hers still coming through a smile. "Feel free to borrow it, I'll be inside the car until I get home, so don't you worry."

I accepted her loan. But why did it have to be so brightly red?

…

We entered the white vehicle, the inside was impeccably clean, with black lining and a fresh sent, one that suited Chitanda, subtle but nice. It was quite comfortable, but I found myself sitting stiffly as I'd never been inside a car with just Chitanda. I fixed my eyes on the front window, and a thin hand appeared in front of me, a little towel hanging from its grip.

Chitanda looked at me, urging me to grab the piece of fabric. I did, but it didn't occur to me what she was expecting for me to do. I snapped out of my dimwittedness once I heard a small chuckle, thin and muffled by the hand over her mouth.

"Do you prefer your hair to be soaked, Oreki-san?" She asked, a hint of playfulness in her voice.

Ugh. I grunted as I shook my head. I began to rustle the towel over my head, running it through my hair. I had forgotten to give Chitanda a proper answer, and it seemed unexpected to her.

"I didn't mean to make fun of you, I-" She quickly refrained her smile.

"What are you talking about? You just took me by surprise, that's all." I uttered with a mild smile, fast so she wouldn't apologize over something so childish. "Aren't you supposed to dry your hair as well?"

She laughed once more behind her fingertips.

"You are right."

Chitanda had another towel identical to the one she'd offered me inside a compartment of the dashboard. She took it and gently pressed the fabric against her head, careful not to make her deeply dark hair too messy. A faint redness lit up her cheeks, and I realized I had been looking at her the entire time and it probably made her feel coy. I turned elsewhere, my own face burning, and kept busy with my own hair.

Once done, I handed over the folded wet towel. She placed both of them back in the compartment, luckily the lining wasn't made out of fabric, so the water wouldn't cause trouble.

"I knew these would turn out to be useful on a day like this." She added with a grin. "I'll dry them once I get home."

The atmosphere became easy again once she started the car.

While driving, Chitanda kept asking random questions about young Satoshi and Mayaka. I told her a few stories that seemed to entertain her; about the time Satoshi entered a fashion club and put together absurd costumes he would shamelessly wear; about Mayaka's bad temper scaring away every kid that ever tried to confess his feelings for her to the point of making them tremble.

Chitanda enjoyed every single one of them, claiming that neither of the two had ever told her about these embarrassing – "yet endearing", as she would rather call them- tales.

I was surely going to get my head smacked if Mayaka found out I was spilling out her secret past; and Satoshi would probably come back at me telling mine. But something in Chitanda's graceful, hushed laughter kept the words running out of my mouth.

She promised to keep it a secret. She even forced me, the infiltrated informant, to swear it would stay locked between us. So I did.

About fifteen minutes later, we reached the Shinjuku train station, and as foretold by Chitanda, the rain was still as horribly heavy as before, if not worse.

"Drive carefully, the streets are going to be too slippery tonight." I warned her as she pulled over.

She hummed with a nod and a smile.

"Oh! You should try this!" She stopped me before I stepped out of the car. Next, she left a small treat, the size of a roll of tape, wrapped in white bakery paper and cellophane, on the palm of my hand. "That bakery makes the sweetest treats!"

After I ran under the roof of the entrance, holding the red umbrella on the way, she bid goodbye with a smile and a waving hand before driving away.

…

My sister's surprise package made it alive all the way back to Yokohama.

Although she'd told me not to open it just yet, I wanted to see how worth of a storm had it been for her present to be so special. So, I tore the paper wrapping apart, only to find another layer underneath. And it had something written on with black marker, undoubtedly Tomoe's messy handwriting:

« Seriously. Do. NOT. »

Fine, I decided. Maybe Chitanda was right and it was better to leave it off as a surprise, even though I hated surprises.

The box fit into the upper shelf of the closet just fine, where I wouldn't have to see it lying around reminding me of the trouble it had been to get it.

As I got dinner ready, I remembered the sweet still enveloped in parchment paper inside the pocket of my jacket. I tried it then, and though it was quite tasty as it dissolved on my tongue, I'd never had a sweet tooth like Chitanda's. Sugar was probably the secret to her never-ending energy, but I didn't need that.

The cold noodles were ready by seven and I sat in the living room. On TV was a movie about some mystery-solving agency. The main character rang a bell; pale, scrawny, obnoxious and overly friendly.

I'd promised Chitanda to try and get in touch with Satoshi, so I would fulfill the task. But first I took my time to finish the noodles and the movie. Then I reached for the phone. Not getting great hopes as the background tune chimed for several seconds.

"What's up?" Satoshi picked up.

"Just checking something." I started. "Is everything good?"

"Why wouldn't it?" He replied, seeming annoyed by that simple question.

"I don't know. Mayaka seems upset. I mean, not her usual upset, upset. And you too, from what I hear."

"… Well, I'm not in Tokyo right now, so I wouldn't know." He replied with an anxious chuckle.

"I see… So, where are you working now?"

"You should know, Houtarou!" He forced another chuckle and waited for a whole minute, as if hoping I would add something else. When I didn't, he talked again, completely serious this time. "Um… I'm around Kofu. Sorry, I've gotta go now." Then hung up.

It took me a while to remember that I had heard those exact same words before.

« You should know, Houtarou. »

Ten years earlier, to be precise.

…

"At seven, that's okay, right?"

"Where?" I grunted, immediately regretting having said yes in the first place.

"You should know, Houtarou." He scoffed before jumping off the riverside's small pillars of stone and onto the street, splashing water all over his white and green, sophomore year sneakers.

"Why would I?" I asked bluntly but received no answer as I kept my usual, lagged pace.

Fifteen-year-old Satoshi ran off, hurrying to catch the bus. "See you there!"

The only place he would visit almost as often as school, was the new arcade nearby Kamiyama High. But I checked and he wasn't there playing 8-bit videogames. I didn't plan on calling his house, there were no coins in my pocket to use a telephone cabin, anyways.

So I walked over the wooden bridge we would usually cross after school before splitting up and follow each other's way home. I figured that if it was a place we both knew, it had to be passing the bridge, so he had to cross it too at some point. It was already dark but it was the appointed time.

"Ha!" A yell came from the behind me. "You actually knew!" Satoshi exclaimed, his face lit by a streetlamp above his head. He began walking up to me with both hands inside the pockets of his neon-colored, ski jacket.

"If it starts raining, I'm leaving." I warned, stopping midway through the bridge.

He looked up to the heavily clouded, dark sky.

"Then I don't have much time."

"Why did you bring me here?" I pressed on, beginning to feel annoyed by his ridiculous way of building suspense.

"Um… It's that friend of yours, Ibara Mayaka." He stopped once he was in front of me. "She tried to confess… something." His head downed.

"That she likes you?" I deadpanned much to his surprise. Satoshi's immediate reaction was to freeze while looking at me with his wide eyes. Then his face fell back down again.

"You got it." False laughter came afterwards.

"So?" I stared at him, expecting a fast answer so I could leave. He did not say anything. I sighed heavily. "If you don't like her back, just turn her down." I moved my foot around as to leave; it was about to rain very soon.

"That's the thing…" His voice barely arose from nothingness. "I don't want to."

His speech lost all sense of humor, his pursed lips and his gaze down were a side of him I rarely ever got to see. He was seriously struggling there. So I stopped and turned back to my original position, gathering a bit more patience.

"Then I don't see the problem." I continued to look at Satoshi.

"I made something up and ran away before she could say much. You think she'll hate me?" He asked with a distressed expression.

Staring at him in confusion, I realized it was honestly hard for him to let out his thoughts this one time, when every other trivia topic could keep him rambling on for hours. I tried to help, but I didn't know how to. I didn't know he liked Ibara that much to begin with.

"The only two things I've ever heard Ibara admit liking are manga and you." I informed him, watching as he looked back up in surprise. "I don't know if she'll hate you, but she won't give up easily."

Satoshi suddenly looked brighter, a wide, uninhibited smile drew on lips.

"She's one of a kind, huh?" His eyes went up to the sky, reflecting the neat gray of the clouds as the brightness soon disappear. "But I'm not ready for that. She's too much and I too little." He breathed out, determined.

"Then tell her, not me." I shook my head.

"You're probably right." He smirked, a bit sadly. "But, since you've known her for longer, I thought you'd have some advice on how to do that." He confessed as his hand ran up and down the back of his head.

A droplet hit my nose, then my cheek when I looked up. Satoshi did too, then placed the hood of the jacket over his head.

"Just…" I added. "be honest. That's all I can tell you. Sorry"

…

If Satoshi was back where he had the first time he'd said that, then I did know.

…

As Sunday came around, I decided it was time to intervene. I would need to travel to Kofu for a few hours, but first I found my way to Tokyo yet a second time. Sorting things out for good was my only purpose, as things seemed to have more depth than I had originally thought and disregarded.

I arrived at the apartment complex around noon. It wasn't too different from mine, except for the fact that this other one was inhabited mostly by people in their twenties.

I walked around the line of small trees separating the sidewalk from the entrance, only to spot the same pale figure amidst the same dark rain. Chitanda was walking out of the building, hiding her eyes from sight with the blackness of her bangs. Either she was keeping her face from the rain, or a gray mood had taken hold of her expression. She opened a white umbrella -I still had the red one at home-, and walked away with a fast pace.

She didn't listen to me the day before, I sighed.

Chitanda did not see me, and I couldn't exactly say I saw her all too well. I walked steady into the place and went up to the fourth floor, door 15.

With the slightest trace of will, I knocked on the door, not even twice before it was suddenly pulled inwards.

"I'm so sorry, when I said I don't want to see-" Mayaka's voice rushed, sounding remorseful. Then she looked up, surprised to find me instead. "Houtarou? What are you doing here?" Her tone changed.

"You don't want to see anybody?" I raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you told Chitanda?"

"H-How did you…?" Mayaka froze for a bit, then the discomfort crept up her face and she moved aside. "Whatever. Just come on in if you have something to say."

She walked ahead, defeated but with her head still up. I closed the door and followed her to the small living room. The place was covered in papers, most of them were sketches, others had pictures. She had been working a lot, like Chitanda had been worried about.

Mayaka sat heavily on the office chair placed in front of her desk, her back towards me.

"So, what do you want?" She spoke bluntly.

"Nothing in particular. Just looking for clues as to why you two have been this… isolated." I said calmly.

"Why do you care? Besides, you just guessed it, I don't want to see anybody right now." Mayaka still wouldn't let her pride aside.

Silence filled up the room, which was poorly lit. I spotted a maroon-colored box atop the coffee table, the center was a see-through plastic film, and inside were arranged macaroons in various pastel colors. The name of the bakery placed on one corner: Tous Les Jours.

"So, it's that kind of situation again, huh?" I asked, well aware of my words coming off more like a statement.

Mayaka sighed, her shoulders dropped a bit lower. "I don't know what you mean, but you're probably guessing right again."

I still wished I wasn't.

"I'm now guessing I'm not allowed to make any more questions, right?"

"Very smart."

I waited for a while, sitting quietly on the small couch. I eyed a few of the items before me, wondering when had been the last time in the past week Mayaka had taken a break from work. It was a Sunday afternoon and she still enclosed herself behind a bunch of documents.

"Let me ask you something, Houtarou." Mayaka suddenly said.

When I heard her voice and hummed back for her to continue, I was expecting her to ask something about Satoshi, or even about Chitanda. But instead she uttered the same question I couldn't answer when we were younger, when I thought it would be the only time she'd speak those same words:

"Is there something wrong with me?"

…

About five years earlier, during college, before any of us met Chitanda, I was living in a dorm building near my Faculty, while Mayaka and Satoshi both lived in separate campuses. At the time, they'd broken up through the middle of the semester, only after a couple of months of dating.

I never dug into details, but all I knew was that Mayaka's parents were going through a tough time handling the family's economy. Meanwhile she was studying and working at the same time, trying to help to the best of her ability. Every minute of her time was packed with work until there was no space left for anything else, including Satoshi. That he couldn't cope with.

I didn't hear from either of them for a while until one night Satoshi called, half-conscious, weeping over the phone words I couldn't make out completely. He had gotten himself drunk in a bar around a subway station in Tokyo, and I had no choice but to pick him up at around eleven since he was barely standing. I took him to my dorm, where he kept crying

"She- she deserves better, I know- but- but- I- how can I help-" His alcohol-driven mouth kept sobbing. "I don't know w-why she's gotta be so stubborn. I- I never meant to hurt her pride…" He trailed off until he fell asleep on the extra futon I had laid over the floor.

I had a calculus test the next morning, the least I wanted to do was to deal with Satoshi at the time. And then something else added to the list.

"Oreki, there's a girl waiting for you downstairs." The guy from a neighbor room told me as I turned off the lights and closed the door behind me.

"I'll be right down. Thanks."

Knowing it could only be another bitter surprise, I walked down the stairs. Getting to the lobby, my guesses came to reality as I gazed over the image of a short-haired, petite girl sitting on the couch, facing the opposite side.

I walked around and as soon as she saw me, twenty-year old Mayaka stood up.

"Hey." She greeted tiredly.

"Ibara, what are you doing here?" I blinked, inconsiderate to the fact that mine wasn't the most important question considering her current situation.

She looked down, taking her time to come up with an answer.

"I needed someplace where I wouldn't be questioned." Her voice finally laid flat across the space between her and me; it was such a plain sound that it couldn't go any further. In the same way, she dropped back down on the couch, eyes still fixed on the floor.

It didn't take another word from her to know she was deadly serious, so, even as uncomfortable it was at first, I relented what she sought for: quietude.

Ibara kept her back straight, but her head was down for a while. I, sitting on the couch opposite to her, held my hands loosely tied, hanging between my knees, and my back arched. We remained like that for what felt like hours, although I knew it couldn't have been that long, the clock in the lobby was still advancing second by second, it just felt a little too slow.

"I want to take a walk, but I don't know this neighborhood." Ibara suddenly uttered, clear and upfront as she'd always been. "Why don't you show me around?"

"Sure." I agreed after looking at her for several seconds, trying to decipher the backbone of her sudden request.

It was rather simple when I looked back to it, she just needed to vent her thoughts out.

We went out of the building, the pavement was as dark as the sky itself, for it was already late into the night and those streets had very poor lighting, but at least it was a safe neighborhood. Ibara walked on my left, quietly. At some point, we reached a small park, completely abandoned under the dim light of a few streetlamps. I was the first one to sit down on the edge of the sidewalk, she followed proximately, placing herself close.

Ibara looked extremely small that night, more than usual; holding onto her legs, resting her nose against her knees, almost hiding her face completely.

"You said you didn't want to be questioned." I began, making sure my voice kept its regular pitch but with a hint of sympathy. "I thought it might mean that you wanted to speak on your own, instead."

She turned to look at me with a straight face, her eyes surely exhausted, then she went back to stare at the ruffling leaves of the trees surrounding us.

"Is there something wrong with me?" She suddenly said, her voice clear despite seeming hurt but not broken.

The question lingered in the air for so long that I started to believe that maybe I had misheard it, even though I knew it came from her.

What do you want me to say? I thought of replying, but didn't do so as it was my part of the deal to remain silent, not make a question and just listen attentively.

"I mean, I spent my high-school years fantasizing about the time when he could finally accept my feelings…" She continued after her long pause, now attempting to force a grin, perhaps at how pitiful she sounded all of a sudden. But the gesture didn't surpass an unsuccessful attempt. "… but I was the one to push him away when he finally came to me… Therefore, something must be seriously wrong with me."

The only noise left behind her words was that of the cold breeze running through the leaves and branches, sweeping the dust off the ground. Mayaka extended her short legs forward, at last uncovering her face.

"So you decided on this." I concluded, unable to offer anything warmer for a response.

"I couldn't handle everything at once. So, I gave up the idea of us, since it was my biggest weakness…" Ibara acknowledged without giving it a second thought. "I don't know if I'm glad it's over, or if I'm just as miserable as I've never felt. Maybe it was too proud and dramatic of me to cut every bond keeping me attached to him, even as a friend." She finished, her voice a little less stern than before.

I had only seen Ibara shed a tear a couple of times over the course of the seven years I had known her by then, and I figured that would be the third time. But it was not; Ibara did not cry. She was calm on the outside, although it was obvious that she felt as wretched as she had claimed to feel from the inside.

Even if I did not have the best answer, I remarked on the only thing I could certainly say to her.

"Well, I'm sure Satoshi isn't the strongest person out there either, but I bet he could be of some help, at least as a friend to lean on."

She sighed, heavily like she was giving up on something, perhaps her pride.

"You know where Fuku-chan is, don't you?" She asked, looking directly at me, warning me with an ominous stare that I'd be busted if I lied.

"You're not going to like it if I show you." I answered, getting up off the ground regardless of her reaction. Though there barely was any.

"I know." She remained still, glaring ahead of her shoes. "I just need to see him."

After a short while, Ibara hoped onto her heels and we started to walk down the street from where we'd come earlier.

I did not like getting involved in something so personal for both of them, but at that moment, it was all I could do for them. So, we returned to the dorm and I took Ibara to the room where Satoshi was sleeping. I didn't pressure nor encouraged her to enter, that was her choice, and it probably wasn't an easy one.

She hesitated on turning the doorknob, bracing herself with a bit of a frown. Once there was a small gap of darkness between the door and the sill, I decided to leave them alone. I went downstairs with a book, a calculator and a pencil in my hands, trying to resume on what I was studying hours earlier.

About half an hour later, Ibara showed up before me, taking me out of the concentration I had achieved inside my calculus book. She knocked my head with her fist a couple of times until I looked up.

"I'm leaving now." She said, looking tired, but just about that, no signs of redness to know if she'd, at last, cried.

"Do I have to show you the way out or something?" I replied, confused as to what she was implying.

"Don't be rude." She knocked my head again, this time with a lot less strength. "Come on, slug."

I followed Ibara to the small porch outside the building, it was still as dark as before, but now completely deserted, as every guy was already inside their room. She stopped walking when her feet were on the sidewalk and I was still inside the property, just a few steps behind.

"… Don't tell him I was here." She asked, digging her hands inside the pockets of her cardigan. "I'll see you later."

"Sure. Take care." I complied as I watched her idly turn around. I was about to do the same and go back into the house, when a mutter barely reached my ears.

"Ah, and, Oreki…" It was Ibara, still with her back towards the house but now a couple of meters further. "… Thank you."

Thin as the cold breeze that night, her voice vanished in a second, almost as if she didn't want it to be heard. I could have said something in return, but she was fast to disappear, and I wasn't sure of what she had thanked me for.

I had thought of walking her to the bus stop or near the subway station, but if she'd found her way to the house, she probably remembered the way back. Besides, she seemed to need some time alone.

…

I never knew what she told Satoshi that night, or if she just stood next to the futon, watching him lost in deep, alcohol-induced slumber. Satoshi didn't seem to remember anything either, but I noticed that somehow, he felt much better the next morning.

When I came back from school that day, miraculously with an approbatory grade in calculus, Satoshi was gone and the place was left untouched.

Mayaka and him stopped dating from then on, however, they remained close as friends. It wasn't until only one year was left of our college lives that they tried again, having a long run this time around.

It was back then, having Satoshi bundled up in one room and Mayaka statically sat in the other, when I realized that the two of them were better off together, that it would bring out the best of them. And that I would rather not see them break apart like that again.

This wasn't to say I understood how, being two completely functional individuals capable of accomplishing a countless number of things, both of them became so miserable just by being apart. But Satoshi put it in an interesting way later on.

"You're so safe, because you haven't fallen for anyone this way."

…

"Is there something so terribly wrong with me that not even Fuku-chan can fix it?" Mayaka rephrased her question, but her voice trailed off a little the second time.

"No, there isn't, Mayaka." I finally answered, somewhat upset. "At least nothing that Satoshi doesn't already know of." She turned around, with her tired eyes firing a weak death stare.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She grumped.

"The truth doesn't always make you feel better. Besides, the same goes for Satoshi."

"Maybe it's just this very unlucky day…" She frowned after a short silence. "But you're making the most sense you have in years. I hate it."

Mayaka drew a long, loud breath out, clasping her hands on her tights as she got up from the chair.

"I really mean it when I say I don't want to talk about this anymore. I rather wait for him to give me an answer, then… Well, I don't know what happens next, but it won't involve you, so don't worry." Her voice switched to a softer tone, in Mayaka's scale of course. "Now go, unless you want me to kick you out."

"Good." I retorted as I made my way to the main door. "Stop working so much, you're already insane enough as it is."

"No, no, no. Wait a second!" She snapped, fast to stop me. I turned around just a foot away from the door. "You can't leave without telling me what's up with you two." She commanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Which two?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Chi-chan. You." She spoke fast with the same demanding demeanor. "How did you know she was here?"

"She's not a very good liar…" I replied without much thought.

"I know she isn't." Mayaka bit the inside of her cheek.

"I saw her outside, she looked turned down." I frowned at the remembrance forming in my head. To those words, Mayaka looked completely unhappy.

"She came to see me, but I didn't talk to her very nicely. She must be thinking that I'm mad at her- Ugh, I'm the worst!" Her foot stomped on the floor. Then she looked back at me with a creepy expression, squinting her eyes suspiciously. "I thought you barely knew her, why do you look so worried?"

I tried not to stammer at the sudden question but my face was probably already red anyways. "I'm not. What do you know?"

"Hmm…" She was obviously unconvinced. "Not much. But you should know, she told me about the incident with the police back in February. Look, Chi-chan hardly ever talks about her family, it's not easy for her. I can only imagine how vulnerable she must have felt back then…" Her tone became distressed but she quickly corrected it to a normal one. "What I'm trying to say is that, if she had to open up her thoughts to someone, I'm glad it was you."

Remembering that night wasn't a big deal at first, but the more I got to know Chitanda, the more unpleasant the memory became. I didn't reply to Mayaka, and she kept on talking, this time softer.

"The point is that, for some reason and regardless of whatever I told her about you, she trusts you. I can't understand why or how much, but I know she's not wrong to do so… Don't mess it up, Houtarou."

Her gaze softened, eyebrows pursed, but it was something I wasn't used to. So I looked away, speechless. Soon I felt her small hands pushing violently my back.

"Now you can go."

…

The trip to Kofu didn't take over two hours, and once I got there I visited my old house, where my father was still living but I didn't find him there since he was at a friends' gathering. I used up a while to settle down and let the sickness slowly dissipate. Luckily, I had slept through the entire trip, so it wasn't too strong of a headache.

It was getting dark by the time I found the old bridge blocks away from my old school, but it was only five thirty and the darkness was mostly caused by the thick clouds clogging up in the sky. The wood was still holding up strongly, but many years had turned the boards darker and molded on the underside, more than I remembered.

"I'm here." Was the only thing I said through the speaker before I found the bridge.

"… is that so?" He mumbled, far from sounding surprised. "I'll meet you there, then."

…

Satoshi arrived a while after by foot instead of dragging a bike alongside. His hands were dug inside the pockets of a green varsity jacket.

"I knew you'd figure it out." A pathetic expression made up an excuse for a smile.

"So? What was it this time?" I rested against the deck, ready to listen to his side of the story.

Satoshi shifted on his feet hesitantly before he exhaled, ready to say something.

"I messed up. Mayaka is better off not seeing me for now." His voice, though deeper, came out weak. He then grinned in the lamest way possible. "But why, out of all people, are you the one to feel curious, Houtarou?"

"I honestly have no idea. In fact, I'm tired of playing the mediator every time you go play hide-and-seek." I sighed.

Satoshi stayed reticent for a bit, then folded his arms over the wooden deck with his eyes fixed on the water stream, flowing slowly, barely emitting any sound.

"She wants to try living together." His voice echoed, now steady and severe. "It makes sense since we barely get to see each other lately…"

"But?" I lowered my gaze, thinking about nothing, just so I could process any possible explanation he had to offer, if he wanted to. And so, he continued after another moment of dead silence.

"But… I don't think it's the best of times, with my job and hers, everything is getting kind of hectic. Yesterday I texted her, asked for some time to think it over…" He confessed as his voice vanished once more.

Satoshi wasn't a guy of staying still. He was always traveling from city to city, that's why his job suited him. He'd get easily tired of the same thing over and over. But not of Mayaka. Never of her, I knew that much.

"Is that it?" I asked after who knows how long the quietness had gone for, skeptical about his reasoning and the missing half of the truth.

He turned his head slightly, looking at me through the corner of his eye.

"Doesn't that sound like enough?" He chuckled emptily and I didn't respond. "Don't get me wrong, but I'm not expecting you to understand, you're a well-centered guy, you know-"

"Stop rambling." I cut him off. "It's not timewhat scares you, Satoshi. You can tell me, what is?"

His eyes widened slightly, then he smiled again, but this time the forced gesture irked something inside of me.

"… Is it really that easy to tell?" He mumbled, the smile quickly vanishing. "You know? I love Mayaka beyond what I might be able to express in front of anyone, even her sometimes. Waking up next to her every day… that sounds like a dream come true." He flashed a quick smile, but it fled right as he kept talking, his face quickly shadowing. "But I know she's fantasizing about what it would be like. Dang it, even I am. I just know it won't be so sugar-coated, and well… I'm scared." His voice became quiet, almost like a sad, pitiful whisper. "If I say yes, how long would it all last before crashing back down?"

It didn't take long before he resumed on his monologue, never looking up.

"Sometimes I think she loves me too much, so much that I don't deserve it. So much that one day she'll be fed-up with everything I am and everything I'm not. I would never be able to stand losing her like that. Sooner than later, I'll be so scared I'll want to run away…"

I stared at Satoshi as if the deeper I did, the more I would be able to understand him. But I could only grasp one thing. When he didn't continue to say anything else and I could have sworn he had swallowed a sob, I heaved a sigh.

"When will you stop running from place to place? You used to have the will and guts to do anything, Satoshi."

Chitanda's question came back to me, what was Satoshi like? Certainly not this. He had once been a braver kid, a know-it-all who wasn't afraid of trying anything, someone who knew what he wanted even if he couldn't have it. But from a point onwards, he'd stopped trying.

When Mayaka came along, he seemed to gain back a bit of his older self, but whenever things turned difficult, he'd dodge everything and everyone that had to do with it. Not even Mayaka could keep him still for too long. The worst part was, she began to blame herself.

But it wasn't like they hadn't done this to each other before; hiding, that is. The difference was, Satoshi was lagging in growing out of his insecurities worse than Mayaka was.

"You're right." Satoshi pulled me out of my thoughts with a stern voice. He huffed. "I am a coward."

None of it was another of his unrequited jokes, I soon learned. Satoshi straightened his back, dug his hands inside his pockets and turned around, not showing his face.

"But if I'm going to lose her along the way, I might as well just leave. Save her some of the pain." His voice echoed in my ears. Too loudly even though he barely muttered. "If one of the two has to give up the other, doesn't it make sense that has to be me?"

So suddenly, a strange sensation of madness took hold of head and my actions. One second Satoshi was standing there, looking away from me, unmoving. The next, my hand had flown to his shoulder, gripping the fabric so strongly it almost tore. I turned him around in a single, hasty move and soon he was against the railing again, my hand so close to his neck that I could feel his throat contracting the moment I pulled on the scarf.

"She thinks there's something terribly wrong with her." I groaned. "She's been thinking that for the past five years. By running away, you're just proving both of you right."

Satoshi was petrified, his eyes wide and full of tears. Maybe that was what he was trying to hide. Then, out of the blue, a different grin formed on his face as every other muscle relaxed. He grabbed my wrist with both hands, and I let go of the tension as he pushed my fist back down. My own eyes widening too at the realization.

"I even pushed you out of your center, my friend. I get it. I must be doing something seriously wrong."

I felt the boiling thoughts drop to the ground just as I drew a long breath.

I let go of him and relaxed my shoulders. "You have to understand, I didn't come here betting on you solely because you're my friend, Satoshi. I'm doing it because I hold the hope that you're much better than this."

He stared back at me, with nothing but incomprehension written all over his face, trying hard to read my expression. Nothing else was said for a short while, until he let his head drop slowly.

"I-… I'm sorry."

It could have been a raindrop what hit the wooden board beneath his feet a second after. But it wasn't raining around us just yet. Another drop followed and then his shoulders started to shake silently.

I felt bad as I looked at him. Not knowing what else to do, I just patted his shoulder a few times.

"I didn't mean to do that, sorry."

Satoshi laughed as he brought the back of his hand to his cheek, wiping away every trace of tears before looking up again, a wide grin tugging at his lips.

"Sometimes I envy you, Houtarou."

I looked at him, retrieving nothing but the confusion he'd expressed earlier.

"You're so safe, because you haven't fallen for anyone this way."

I had nothing to reply. He was right.

"But then again, that's a pity too." Satoshi gathered up his breath to compose himself

Then he began walking ahead. When he noticed I was still on the same spot instead of following him, he looked over his shoulder.

"It'll rain soon, you know?" He grinned.

I sighed. Yes, it probably would any time soon. I matched his step and the walk back was quite silent for the most part. It brought back the old memory of doing so day by day when we were high school students.

Satoshi walked with me to the train station, though he wasn't leaving town just yet.

"I want to see my sister before she goes back to college. Then I have a few things to do in Kyoto, for a day or two. After then… I'll have my answer." He sighed but still sounded determined.

As I waited for my line, he started on another topic, now with a much more lighthearted nature in his speech.

"Man, I can't wait to see you go through heaven and hell once you find your someone." He said, a teasing smile shamelessly expressing his stance.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes.

"Speaking of, I ran into Asami Toba the other day. Remember her?" He smirked with a raised eyebrow.

"Holy- would you just shut up?" I grunted, not too energetically.

"Aw, come on! She might still have a crush on you, and she was kind of cute. You're not getting any younger!"

I scowled at him, though I was more tired rather than actually annoyed by his teasing. It was good to see him recover a bit of mirth, even if it came with laughing at my face.

Much to my relief, the train arrived just before he kept his mouth running. Just as the doors were about to slide open, Satoshi waved his hand with a much softer expression.

"I'm really glad you're my friend, Houtarou." He smiled genuinely. "I want to be there when it happens to you, just like you were here today for me."

I spared him one last look as I stepped onto the cabin, still confused as to what to respond.

"Just behave. See you." I said before the doors closed and the train started moving. Satoshi waved at me until I couldn't see him anymore.

…

For the first time in a week, it had stopped raining in Yokohama. The asphalt was still slightly damped, a few puddles remained at the edge of the road, and the grass and trees were covered by a thick layer of dew, but at least the sky was clear and I could see some stars scattered above. On this I pondered while looking up on my way back from a convenience store.

The day before I had been too dissuaded by the rain not to leave my home again after returning from Tokyo, so my plans to buy groceries were at a hold, until the next night.

"Have you… asked him yet?" Chitanda inquired hesitantly after I had drifted off the conversation through the phone. Lately, I was beginning to get used to her random calls, though they weren't too common.

"Yeah. I told you it wasn't that bad. Satoshi's just away for work." I knew my answer wasn't completely true, but there was no need to bring up the whole story only to preoccupy her more. By lying a little I also recalled that she had done the same, though less severely, just a few hours prior. "Speaking of, I thought you agreed with me about not going after them."

"Oh… How did you find out?" Embarrassment could be clearly heard through the speaker.

I recurred to yet another half lie.

"I talked to Mayaka earlier, she picked up thinking it was you. She said she felt sorry, so whatever she told you, don't take it to heart."

"Of course not, I understand, Maya-san is just too sweat." She exhaled.

"I refuse to believe we're talking about the same person." I replied sternly, though she took it humorously. She did not say anything back, so I let out another thought. "You could've avoided getting yourself hurt, you know? Whatever happened… it wasn't something neither of us could fix." I spoke carefully, trying not to sound so rough.

"I know… but I was so worried, I couldn't sleep well last night. I did think a lot about your words, but I still couldn't leave Mayaka-san alone." She began, her tone a bit saddened. "However, I was only pushing her when all she needed was some time to be alone…"

« So did Satoshi; though he did need that bit of a push. » I thought, although Chitanda didn't need to know to which extent I had to take things in order to understand that and find some answers.

I knew she didn't mean any harm and it wasn't up to neither of us whatever happened between Mayaka and Satoshi next. So, I let go of the matter and changed to a more trivial subject.

"I tried the macaroon." She mumbled a sound of confusion before I finished. "It was really sugary, but it was good."

I walked up the stairs to my floor upon arriving at the complex.

"… I told you, that bakery makes the sweetest treats." Her voice started off a bit serious, but by the end of her sentence, she giggled softly, taking off a pound of weight from her tone.

"Ah, literally…" I added, though half of my attention was now placed on the key sliding inside the slot as I opened the door to my flat, my phone clasped between my ear and shoulder.

Chitanda went completely silent while I did that the small noises must have been enough for her ear to catch and figure out what I was doing because she pointed it out once I was done placing the bags on the kitchen counter.

"I see- hear-" She corrected herself. "you are back home."

I hummed, but she seemed thoughtful for another minute, like she wasn't sure of what to say next.

"I didn't realize of how late it already was when I called you." She said in a lower voice.

I looked at the time on the screen of the phone, it was a little past nine. For some reason, I hadn't paid attention to the time earlier, and just kept on walking back home from the store with the new company of Chitanda's voice. However, perhaps Chitanda hadn't taken it so lightly as her voice became remorseful and a bit clumsy.

"Oreki-san," She began shyly. "I know I'm always bothering you. No matter what, every time I talk to you, I just end up babbling… but you still listen."

Feeling a strange burden, I wanted to divert her attention to something else, something less relevant, but she didn't let me and continued with her words.

"It must be very burdensome for you. I never know when to stop talking." She uttered, sounding so hopeless. "I'm sorry."

I had recently discovered how much I disliked the weight of her apologies, because it would always hush her voice and the natural mirth it'd tend to carry.

"Listening suits me better than talking anyways." I shrugged, even though she couldn't see that. "And maybe it's my fault for not stopping you."

"You're just too kind." She said. "I promise to work on that in the future, and learn to be less selfish when I talk to you."

Selfish. Now she was just being ridiculous.

"It's no big deal." I scoffed. "Do you always apologize, even for the littlest of things?"

"S-Should I not?" I could almost hear her blink.

"Well, not to me, Chitanda."

She sighed a soft chuckle. "I cannot make that promise, Oreki-san."

The conversation did not go far after that, soon it ended with Chitanda bidding goodbye and wishing me a good night's sleep. I hummed at the end and kept placing the items I'd bought into the fridge and cupboards.

…

Even if I did not know Chitanda for as long as I'd known Mayaka and Satoshi, or for as long as they'd known her, it was somewhat reassuring to know that I wasn't the only one getting a headache whenever they went through something difficult. If I lacked in being a good friend to them, which I knew I did, at least I knew now they also had Chitanda.

And I wanted to believe I did too. But the truth was, being with her never felt the way being next to Satoshi or Mayaka did. That wasn't to say that I wouldn't want to be a friend to her, if anything, I was trying hard to wrap my mind around that idea. I just couldn't, it was different, and I did not understand how so or why.

Then there was Mayaka coming up to me claiming that Chitanda trusted me to an unknown extent, which only made it all the more complex for me to grasp. I wasn't sure of how to take that responsibility onto my shoulders, but at the same time, I did not want it to go to waste.

It was funny, or maybe just absurd, to think that in the past I had drawn a line between her and me, naively believing it would be enough of a barrier between the two. But it only took a few months for her to stomp over and walk beyond it, until it became inexistent. And I would always follow, one step behind her, till I had no regrets left.

When I first saw her, I thought I would never see her again, and it didn't matter. When I met her, the same thing happened, but now the stranger was no longer nameless. When I found her, curled up in tears deep into the night, I just couldn't turn around. And as the months kept running, I was still coming back to her side.

There was no turning back, but it wasn't like I wanted to turn my back on her anyway.

…

Well, hello again! you didn't think I abandoned this story, did you?

It's been a while, but my semester is finally over ~~~

*You may notice I changed Ch6's title so Ch7's wouldn't be repetitive*

Dear graciousness this one is the longest thus far xD

Anyways, how did you like some SatoMaya? I know it's not the happiest take-on, but please bear with me a little, I've never experimented with this ship and it's sooo hard. HoutaEru is not usually this complex hahaha

It's funny 'cause in almost every fanfic, the main couple is the struggly one while the secondary couple is just happily chillin' in the background, yet here I just gave SatoMaya a hard time, sorryaboutthat

However, I'll try to work on it and give you some conclusion to this little arch later on ;)

To get some real SatoMaya feels, I'd suggest you look "mayakyaa"/"petaldancing" up on tumblr; AMAZING, my fav Hyouka fanfictionist(is that the proper title? idk) btw :D

As of HoutaEru… this chapter wasn't even supposed to revolve around them! but I still snuck up a little cheesy rant at the end because I can't help myself hahaha

Sorry I keep rambling, but it's been so long I have a lot to say :)

The next chapters will hopefully move forward much faster. It just dawned on me that I've only gotten 7 chapters done in 2 years and that's, well, just lame, I apologize /.\

Something more, do you think this counts as [K+]? I'm a little afraid since I used the theme of alcohol and I will be using it again in the future so Idk if I should change it to [T]… that's as far as this story gets on that regard, but idk how strict FF can get :/ let me know if you've more experience with these guidelines :)

Thank you, as always, for following the story, means the world! Leave a review if you'd like, I always enjoy knowing what you think *hearts*

See you very soon! :)))