October 08, 2010

4:35 P.M.

Yesterday, I found myself fortunate enough to be had been at the right place, at the right time, which was no other than my local coffee shop.

Let me just make this clear; it's not every day that I find myself in situations like this.

Having gone for their free internet connection and a quick snack break as I rushed to finish the literature paper I had due today (Finished only an hour later after having spent three whole days on the dang thing), I certainly did not expect to hear the muffle sounds of a woman crying.

I didn't want to make it seem like I was intruding, but the pain and agony heard in her voice made me want to be otherwise.

The man that sat across from her just sat there, his eyes staring at anything but the girl and I couldn't help but huff in disgust.

Was he really trying to pretend that there wasn't a hysterically crying girl in front of him?

Ridiculous and absolutely unacceptable.

After having sensed multiple pair of eyes, the guy simply murmured something to the blonde fragile thing.

She sniffed, straightening her back but it was evident to see that she was trying so hard to keep her head up.

She then managed to choke out something that struck me to the core. ''But I love you, Jacob. I thought those three years meant something to you, and now you're just throwing them away''

The guy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, mumbled an apology and then ran out of the place faster than my mind and eyes could keep up.

Seeing her there, seating in that lonely table with only drowning tears to keep her company just made my heart ache.

So I did what anyone with a heart would do, and tried my best to find words to comfort the girl.

Her name was Grace, and sweet Grace had been with that Jacob jerk since her sophomore year in College.

She had given so much to him, and one day he simply decided to meet and tell her he had changed his mind about her.

Made me feel sick not only for her, but for anyone else that had to go through the same thing.

I know because I had seen the same heartbreak in my father's eyes.

Then it got me thinking

Was it really worth it to love somebody?

I'm not talking about your parents/ grandparents/ guardian etc. or siblings, because the love I have for Hans and Anna is entirely worth all those nights building snowmen.

I'm talking about loving someone, a soulmate, a partner, or anyone really who you could find yourself romantically linked to, and having to deal with the fact that they could potentially not love you back.

I mean how could you deal with it?

I'm only eighteen, and the longest relationship I've had was about four months just last year.

I didn't love him, and I never bothered to make him think that I ever did because the truth was I didn't find it worth the risk to actually want to love another person as a lover.

There was no point, and still is no point for me.

Loving somebody romantically is nothing more than handing the other person your entire heart and praying that they won't drop it.

and like Jacob did and I'm sure many others have done; they'll wake up one day and realize they don't love you anymore or just never did at all.

Loving someone isn't worth it, at least not from my perspective.

Can my perspective be changed? Least likely.

Sincerely,

Snowflakequeen18