The house was quiet, but for the silent sounds of slow pulsing breath. It was barely the early hours of the morning and not one person was up in the Baek-Oh household. It had been a little over a year since their wedding had taken place and yet Ha Ni still dreamt of hearing the words that rarely escaped the lips of her beloved Seung Jo. She smiled softly in her dream world feeling lighter and freer than any of the days her reality had shown her recently. Beside her Seung Jo slept soundly. That night, though he would never utter it out loud consciously, he dreamt of his wife, Baek Ha Ni. Her eyes glittered and glimmered in the hazy sunlight of his dream, her smile making her even more luminescent than he ever thought possible. One dreamed of a reality they knew nothing of, while the other dreamt of something they would never reveal. Each stayed safely in that world for the last glimpses of night.

The sunrise woke Seung Jo from his sleep, and he grumbled mumbling something like, 'My idiot wife forgot to close the curtains last night.' Rubbing his face, he slowly got up stretching his limbs as he went. Each joint popped and he sighed sliding his feet into a pair of slippers just beside the bed. Behind him lay a puffy pink, marshmallow-like form. He chuckled under his breath, smiling ever so slightly before turning to grab his towel. Since he was up already he might as well take a shower before the others run him out. He had to be at the hospital early to make some of his rounds there. This whole week he had managed to get all of the early shifts at the hospital, while Ha Ni had gotten the much later shifts, meaning they barely got to see one another. Seung Jo turned the water on, listening to the hissing streams batter the base of the shower. He stripped his clothes and ducked under the, now, warm water.

'It would be at least another hour before someone else gets up, so I'll enjoy the silence while I can, I guess.' Seung Jo thought. He ran his fingers through his hair, recalling the slight fragments of his dream of Ha Ni. Her soft eyes made his heart beat right out of his chest, the sheer power of one look made him feel as though he would never be able to breath again. It was amazing, and yet he still kept quiet, only revealing his true feelings when they were both in the most intimate and loving of situations. Seung Jo sighed, he loved all things that Ha Ni was, but he also could get frustrated and fed up with her sometimes. Why did she have to be so idiotic at times?

The alarm went off in the large bedroom, and Ha Ni gave a start, sitting upright slightly, then flopping back groaning at the hour. The alarm still wailed next to her ear, so she leaned over to her bedside table, smacking it over the head once to silence it. Ha Ni curled on her side, thinking back over the dream she had been rudely awakened from, sighing contentedly. She turned trying to find her warm husband still laying next to her, only to discover that his side of the bed lay vacant. She sat up quickly surveying the room at a glance, and to her disappointment found no sign of Seung Jo. Ha Ni huffed, falling back into her pillows, all this effort to wake up alongside him, and he still managed to be gone from her grasp in no time. After a moment of silence, she realized there was a soft pattering just next door where the bathroom stood,

'He must already be in the shower.' She thought, frowning a little deeper. She listened intently to the sound of the water pour down on what could only be Seung Jo, smiling softly at the thought of him being so close to her, and yet still so far away. Things were still not where she wanted it, Ha Ni's dreams were all muddled, and filled with thoughts and images of Seung Jo telling her he loved her at every moment, no matter where they were. But she knew instantly that was a dream. The real Seung Jo would never do such a thing. He was too practical. Though maybe she was just being foolish, but wasn't being loving toward your wife a very practical thing to do? Perhaps not according to Seung Jo. Ha Ni's mind cleared again as she heard the water silence, and a door open. The next thing she saw made her chest ache. Seung Jo walked in, his hair wet against his face framing the beautiful dark amber jewels of his eyes. Even though he looked so handsome in that moment, it was soon ruined by the cross tone of his voice. "Ya! Ha Ni-ah, I told you to close the curtains last night, you know the sun blinds me in the morning." His brow creased in the most elegant way that Ha Ni almost forgot he was yelling at her.

"I'm sorry, I got home so much later than I thought I would and I was too tired to do it. Seung Jo, I'm sorry."

"You silly woman, what am I going to do with you?" Seung Jo climbed onto the bed, teasing her. Ha Ni pouted, her face saddening, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just sorry, I keep forgetting little things and it only makes you angry at me." She said looking to the side, so that her hair swept over the side of her face, then mumbled, "If only my dream could come true." She sighed.

"What was that?" Seung Jo, smoothed her hair behind her ear, finding the round cheek a little redder than before. "Ha Ni, tell me what you just said."

"It was nothing, really." Her eyes darted back to his, the sad look still there.

"Why are you up so early?"

"I wanted to see you off, I hate waking up with out you beside me, so I thought I would try to wake up early this morning, just to say good morning."

"Silly girl, well good morning my wife." Seung Jo, brushed his fingers across her cheek and nestled them just beneath her ear, as he gazed down at her.

"Good Morning, my husband." Ha Ni could feel her heart beat pulsating faster and faster, she felt her ears ringing, and then the warm quick touch of Seung Jo's lips against her own. She would never get used to his mood swings, and yet she loved the spontaneous way in which he would envelop her all at once in the very warmth and love she had dreamt of.

"Say it to me." She whispered against his mouth, so quietly Seung Jo almost missed hearing it. His hand still on her cheek, he rubbed circles into her cheek as her eyes slowly opened. There was longing, but for what, he didn't know.

"Say what?" Suddenly a deep red engrossed Ha Ni, and she pulled away, plunging back beneath the covers in some attempt at hiding from him. Seung Jo tossed his towel over a chair, and wrapped his arms around the puff of pink that was his wife. She yelped slightly, before going quiet again.

"Fine if you won't tell me, I'll have to get it out of you." His fingers pulled at the edge of the duvet and pulled back to reveal Ha Ni curled underneath, her small frame, so dainty, he was almost afraid to touch her. Almost being the most important word, Seung Jo launched an onslaught of tickles and kisses, until Ha Ni gasped out "Ok, Ok! Stop, please! I'll tell you." Seung Jo sat back on his side of the bed, staring at his wife as she regained her breath, her chest, so small and perfect to him rising and falling quickly.

"Fine, you win. I said 'say it to me.'" Seung Jo looked confusedly at her, what was that supposed to mean?

"What do you want me to say?" Confusion written on his face. A flit of sadness crossed Ha Ni's face.

"Its not that I just want you to say it, I want you to want to say it."

"Stop being so confusing, Ha Ni! Just tell me what you want me to say!"

"If you don't know already, there is no point in telling you." Ha Ni huffed angrily in Seung Jo's direction, before pulling the duvet out of his grasp and over her own small frame. She then began to feign sleep, and there was nothing that Seung Jo could do until she was ready to understand, or that he had figured out what she meant. Either would take forever. So instead of dwelling on it, Seung Jo dressed for work, then as he was leaving, he glanced back at Ha Ni once before escaping the strangely bitter environment.

Outside the summer air had become a little warmer, causing small pearls of sweat to gather at the base of Seung Jo's head. The doors slid open, whisking the cool sanitized air out and around Seung Jo. He was still a little miffed from the confusing argument he had been having earlier this morning. He was still confused about what had even brought it on, along with what Ha Ni was even wanting from him. Most times Ha Ni was the one to give in because of her own confusion or despair. But this was something very out of the ordinary. Seung Jo was losing his touch perhaps, though Ha Ni had been behaving strangely the last few months. Seung Jo muddle back and forth in his head as he walked through the lobby, barely even acknowledging the few other doctors around him.

"Good Morning, Dr. Baek." The sweet chime of voices came from the nurses station, but he waved carelessly back at them, unconcerned about them. He would normally only look there if he required a nurse's help, or if Ha Ni were in the hospital, and neither were the case at the moment. He swiftly walked to the locker-room, quickly putting his bag into his locker, and pulling on his lab coat. He grabbed his stethoscope and ID badge, clipping and placing them where they belonged. He left the locker room in search of his day's assignments. Confusion continued to swirl around his thoughts, keeping some portion of his attention preoccupied. That was the most unlike him of all. But his stoic behavior on the outside never even led anyone to suspicion. When he reached the nurse's station, he gathered up a small section of his patients' folders, his head still in the clouds as he turned down the next corridor. His preoccupation was really a long time coming, Seung Jo cursed himself for not noticing the odd things HaNi had been doing for the last few months. They had only been married a little over a year, and she was now just unhappy or just odd.

'What could I have done? No, it could never be me! But what would make my Ha Ni act so strangely?' Seung Jo thought as he reached his first patient of his rounds.

Back home, Ha Ni was awakening again. Her head felt heavy with sleep, but the ache inside her chest was still there. Yes, Seung Jo had been rather playful and loving this morning, but the want and need for him to show it more still lingered. She wished that for someone so smart, it still surprised her that he had yet to figure out that he was neglecting his own wife. What a stupid man he was! Couldn't even see what was right in front of him. Ha Ni sighed for the umpteenth time, grabbing her towel and heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. A few minutes later, she rushed back into the room, worried that she would be late only to discover that she had plenty of time, at least by her standards. Her mind drifted once again, back to the sickening darkness that seemed to linger over her constantly day after day. The farther Seung Jo seemed to get from her, the farther she drifted from the world around her. She no longer dealt with the world as a place, everything felt phony, and unrealistic. She was just a piece to be pushed and pulled along, with nothing but the thought of what she was meant to look like. Nothing felt as real any more, and the small glimpses of herself that she had known were coming less and less, only spurred on by the glimmer of hope she wanted. Ha Ni pulled a light blue pair of scrubs over her head, gathering up her bags before going down for a quick breakfast and a hurried pace toward the hospital.

Omma bustled about the kitchen, busily humming to herself as a pot steamed beside her on the stove, she scrubbed a few dishes that Seung Jo must have left in the sink from earlier that morning. Eun Jo and Appa sat at the table, Ha Ni's Appa was missing, probably at the restaurant already. Ha Ni, moved quietly down the steps and went to sit at the table. Eun Jo smirked, and rolled his eyes, her pitiable look was much more visible than normal and he could only laugh inwardly without being scolded by Omma. Appa was hidden behind a large sheet of paper, his portly fingers grasping the edges of the page. He didn't seem to notice Ha Ni had come to the table, but soon realized as Omma's mild humming became a loud excited chatter. Omma brought a bowl of porridge to the table placing the white cream-like mush before Ha Ni, uttering a loud "Good Morning Ha Ni-ah! Appa! Put the paper down and greet your daughter!" Appa quickly folded the paper down and shoved it next to his own bowl smiling his pudgy-faced smile in Ha Ni's direction. Ha Ni dipped her head slightly, adding a soft smile to it, a façade that felt a little less real the longer she held it. Yet neither Omma or Appa noticed the change. Ha Ni took a small spoonful of the porridge, and put it in her mouth, the ache of not wanting to eat so clear in her mind, but she knew that would be more noticeable than her eating little by little, and pretending to be in a rush. Pretending saved everyone else from having to hurt, and the last thing Ha Ni ever wanted was to hurt someone else.

Ha Ni ate a few more spoonful's of porridge before standing and quickly getting her things, throwing the words, "Sorry, I'm going to be late! See you tonight!" back towards the table. Omma looked startled, but accepted the goodbye all the same, before hurrying about her household duties of keeping her house clean. Not too shortly after, both Eun Jo and Appa left on their respective ways leaving Omma to her quiet and scheming. She had been noticing that Ha Ni had been behaving strangely recently, not always eating enough of her meals, nor seeming that much like her usually chipper and bright self. Something had been putting her off, and Omma was determined to know what.

Seung Jo stared at a chart for one of his patients that had come into the hospital about a week ago complaining about having some stomach pains. It had taken many days to start with to come up with the right diagnosis, but of course no one but Seung Jo had thought about it. He had spent late nights and early mornings pouring over book after book to figure out what the cause could be for the stomach pain. This was the first time that he had really worked so hard to figure anything out. He had barely been home in the past several days, and relished when Ha Ni would wake early in the morning to just be there with him. So after such a horrible relentless week, he felt a weight being to lift from his shoulders to find that the medicines he had prescribed just the night before were making a miraculous improvement on the patient and that they would be able to go home in the next few days. He smiled and headed toward room 302 where the patient had been placed to tell her the good news. As he passed the main hallway he glanced over toward the entrance just as a very flustered, pale looking Ha Ni rapidly walked in and headed toward the locker room with her shoulder bag clutched between her clenching white knuckles. Seung Jo thought that her overall appearance seemed off, but he was far too busy to be fussing over his wife at a time when he was meant to be helping his patients. If Ha Ni couldn't take of herself, he sure wasn't going to. He continued down the hall at a leisurely pace, and walked into room 302 finding his female patient awaiting him.

"Oh, hello Dr. Baek!" A small pink blush forming along her cheekbones, and of course Seung Jo didn't even notice.

"Ms. Park, I have some wonderful news for you..."

"You left your wife!" The woman asked excitedly.

"What? This has nothing to do with my wife." The woman's eyes turned down in a saddened manner, a small pout forming on her lips. "What I came in her to say was that you are improving remarkably well since we started the new treatment, and I think that you should be all better within the next few days, so at least by the end of the week you should be able to return home." Seung Jo waited a moment, before bowing and turning to exit the room. As he reached the doorframe, a wail of pain echoed around the room behind him. Seung Jo spun around, only to find that his young patient had curled over with her hands covering her face. A sort of panic set in, but his professional side kept him calm as he walked back to the bedside.

"Ms. Park, what's wrong? Are you feeling ill again?" He looked over at the monitors.

"Yes! Of course I feel ill, and of course something it wrong. I will no longer see my beloved Dr. Baek every day, and I feel absolutely sick from the thought of not seeing you again, or that you will have to return to that ugly stupid pig of a wife." A slow burn of irritation rose in his chest at the last comment. It was typical that most of his female patients would behave in this manner and many of them would insult Ha Ni as an attempt to get him to leave her, but that was never going to happen. And yet, he had never had this feeling before when those words came out of this woman's mouth. He wanted to scream at her, but instead he said "I see, well I must be seeing to my other patients, please relax and get well, Ms. Park." Another gasping sob came from the woman as Seung Jo left the room. He closed the door softly behind him, and then glanced around him down the corridor. There was no one in sight, so for a moment he was able to clench his fists and grit his teeth, in some attempt to disperse the angry energy he had toward this woman. He had to remain as confident as ever.

On the other side of the hospital Ha Ni was sitting at the nurses' station waiting for her next call before she started her check-ins with her assigned patients. Her stomach lurched again for the hundredth time that morning, and Ha Ni had to push it back again into her throat, the burning feeling just at the base of her throat. Something was definitely wrong with her at this point. She had been sick for weeks, but not just that, a few weeks before she had been feeling rather down and out of sorts. Nothing felt right any more, even seeing Seung Jo made her feel sick and sad. Even though he was her's forever, or so it said in their vows, he was so cold and so indifferent with her that the distance felt more like it was pushing her further away rather than closer to him. But Seung Jo didn't seem to be noticing there was a problem. So Ha Ni wouldn't make a problem, she wouldn't be troublesome for Seung Jo. That was her promise to him when she first fell in love with him. She would just have to keep pushing through, and pushing herself to do more, be more and feel more. But that was getting harder and harder each day. Everything felt so fake. Ha Ni glanced up at the clock noticing that it was time for her to start her rounds with the patients, and began to gather her various files, and materials before heading to her first room with the elderly gentleman Mr. Sung. He was one of her favorites, he always had a kind word to say, and made her feel so great to be around him. He was the man who always told her to hold her head high and keep trying even if she messes up sometimes. He was one of those patients who was terminally ill, but had no family that could take care of him, so he lived in the hospital all the time, and got the care he needed. But he was dying. Ha Ni stood outside the door staring at the handle for a moment, before she got up the courage to enter in, her fake smile held in place.

"What's wrong, Nurse Baek?"

"What do you mean? Nothing, I'm just glad to see my favorite patient." Ha Ni checked his vitals on the machines first, before setting down her pile of files and pulling Mr. Sung's out of it. She then began the usual checks, his lungs, his heart, his blood pressure, his EKG, his IVs, and his pillows. He was an old man and was dying soon she could feel him slipping further away each day, and it got harder and harder to walk in that door.

"Tell me, my child, what's on your mind?" Ha Ni felt uncertain of what he wanted her to say, but she said a small amount that was hiding in there.

"I'm just feeling off today, a little nauseous for some reason. " She smiled at him and held her stomach ever so slightly,

"Alright, I won't ask anymore, but let us hope its not so much butterflies as a little bird."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I'm not that sure myself, but you'll understand later." Ha Ni clutched her scrubs right above her stomach, before gathering up her files and turning to leave.

"May you be blessed my dear."

"Huh? Oh, uh, thank you. See you later on Mr. Sung." The old man closed his eyes, and Ha Ni smiled softly and closed the door behind her. She turned down the hall way, a growing phantom feeling was on her stomach like someone was caressing it, but there was no one around. So Ha Ni shuffled the files in her arms and continued on to the next room on her list.

She walked down the hallway, smiling happily at the few patients or doctors that passed her on the way. Ha Ni looked up the hall, and saw the room number of her next check up just in the distance. Her arms began to ache from the heavy load of file folders in her arms, but she kept going. The slow tingling burn making her push her self even harder to do her job. She reached the door handle, pushing into the room. A small child sat on a bed, her legs tucked beneath the neatly folded covers.

"Hello, Hye-ah! How are we this morning?" The child continued to stare out the window, her eyes glued to the skyline.

"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" There was still no response from the little girl. Ha Ni inched closer, her heart began beating a little faster, but her curiosity won out, and she persisted in her questioning. "Hye-ah, for me to help I need to know what's wrong. Are you feeling sick?" A sudden sniffle erupted from the small body, and Ha Ni rushed around to face the girl finding her face bright red with tear streaks running down her face. "What happened?" Ha Ni sat beside the young girl her arms still cradling the file folders. The girl mumbled something. "What?"

"I said you promised that I would go home soon, and now the doctor is saying I have to stay longer!" Ha Ni softened her gaze at the child, and went to wrap her arms around the small shaking shoulders.

"I'm sorry, you can never be sure when you are able to go home, but just because the soon that you expected was different doesn't mean you give up. You need to keep fighting and get better so you can leave soon."

"You're a liar!" The little girl shoved at Ha Ni, causing her to drop the files to the floor scattering them beneath the bed and all over the floor.

"YAH! Why would you do that!" Ha Ni yelled, her patience had run out with this little girl, it wasn't her fault so why did this have to happen to her of all days. The little girl sat wide-eyed, fresh tears gathering into her eyes. Ha Ni felt guilty, suddenly realizing how harsh she had really been with the little girl.

"I'm sorry." The little girl said meekly. Ha Ni huffed and patted her head, before getting up to crawl on the floor in search of all the files, and placing them back in order.

"Its alright. Don't cry. I'm sorry for yelling, I was wrong." The little girl sniffled again, and lay back against the pillows, expression one of defeat. Ha Ni still felt terrible at her outburst, it wasn't like her to get to frustrated especially with a young child like her. Ha Ni settled her files back into her arms, and waited till little Hye Si was calmer.

The door was clicked closed behind her, and for a moment her head spun, and the morning nausea had returned. Something was definitely wrong, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions. She didn't want to think that anything could be really wrong, and if she thought she was pregnant, Seung Jo would probably mock her for being an idiot again. Ha Ni pressed her head against the wall, trying to cool her sweaty forehead, but nothing seemed to make the dizziness go away. So she set her shoulders and mentally cheered herself on, she had to keep going, this wasn't just for Seung Jo anymore, she loved being a nurse and it was important that she behave like a nurse.

Later on that day Seung Jo had finished most of his rounds and had already been through a few emergencies down in the ER, so he was currently relaxing with his lunch. He may have been tired but that didn't stop him from watching for Ha Ni. And yet minute after minute passed and there was no sign of her. It was strange to him, but there were only two things he could think of, she had some emergency herself and was unable to get away or that something was wrong with her. Seung Jo couldn't help the strong twist of his stomach as he waited for his perky love to come bounding through the door to him. And yet she never showed, his lunch was over and there was nothing that he could do. He had no time left to wait. The worst of it all was that his stomach kept twisting in knots from worry. Where could she be.

Ha Ni sat in one of the many sterile waiting rooms of the hospital. She had managed to get a quick check up at lunch with one of the doctors, and was currently waiting outside the door in the lobby. She nervously picked at a hang-nail, waiting just meant that she wouldn't know what was happening for so much longer. There was nothing she could do, and so she waited. Everything around her made her jump now, she just waited and waited for the sound of her name and the anticipation of what it could be. She was probably just sick with a cold or something, but the feeling deep down, the very possibility that she could be pregnant made ripples of excitement roll through her. She wanted a baby more than anything, she wanted to share that life with Seung Jo, and she wanted to have another little Seung Jo to watch run and play around on little feet. She wanted to feel something again, and hoped that having a baby could bring her the happiness she felt she was missing. But she wouldn't put too much hope in that, she was much more afraid that the doctor would say she wasn't or that it was just a cold. That was more frightening than any other prospect, and could mean that her fragile happiness could break even more.

"Baek Ha Ni?" Her name was called and one of the nurses, she knew well, ushered her into one of the exam rooms. She waited, ignoring the hangnail, and instead fiddling with her hands. The door opened and in stepped a young doctor, close to her age. She automatically realized that it must be one of the doctors in Seung Jo's year. She didn't want Seung Jo to know about this yet, but things were going to get around about her having a check up especially knowing that some of the nurses saw her. They tended to gossip a lot, so she sighed and gave into the thought that Seung Jo would know in no time. The doctor at this point had yet to look at her. His head still bowed into the file in his grip. He kept mumbling, "Baek, Baek. I know that name." Then he suddenly looked up and clapped the folder together quickly.

"Are you by any chance Dr. Baek's wife?" Ha Ni nodded shyly, it was quite clear from this that Seung Jo never mentioned to anyone that she was his wife, so news was going to get around really fast. "I see, well very nice to meet you. Your husband is a remarkable man, and a very interesting classmate to have around."

"Thank you for your kind compliments."

"Yes, well what can I do for you today?"

"Well, you see, I...I haven't been feeling all that well for the last few days."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, I've been really nauseous, and dizzy, and kind of clammy."

"And how do you feel now?"

"I'm alright, but just before lunch I had a bout of dizziness in the hall during my rounds."

"I see. Do you mind if I do a quick exam?" Ha Ni shook her head, and the doctor reach forward touching her waist and stomach. "Does it hurt if I push here?"

"No."

"How about here?"

"No." The doctor moved away, nodding to himself slightly.

"Well I don't see anything that distresses me, but because of your symptoms I wonder if you would mind doing a few tests so that I can check a few other things, just to rule out any other sicknesses I think it could be."

"Sure. That's fine with me." The doctor nodded to himself again, then bowed and quickly left the room. A few moments later, one of the nurses entered the room with a cup for a urine test and a few vials along with a needle head.

"Nurse Baek, I will take some blood samples for Doctor Goo, and after you can do the urine test and place it on this tray and I will take it from there." Ha Ni nodded her head.

Ha Ni walked back to the nurses' station in her wing of the hospital, her mind boggled by what could possibly be affecting her. She walked, but she really didn't seem to notice Seung Jo standing over a patient just a few feet from her, but he sure did. Seung Jo's eyes followed his day dreaming wife as she continued to ignore him. Something was definitely going on with her, and he was going to find out no matter what. He missed the old Ha Ni with her annoying and chipper view of the world. He missed his Ha Ni.

The day had gone by as quickly as it had started and Seung Jo was driving home, Ha Ni still had most of her evening shift left, but she would be home soon enough, and tomorrow was his day off so he would find out what was going on with her even if it killed him. As Seung Jo approached the house, the lights were on inside. Dinner was probably almost ready and Omma would be waiting so Seung Jo had little time to think over his plan to question his wife. Seung Jo wandered into the house, finding that the house felt just as busy and noisy as the hospital had all day. The television was on, so he could only guess Appa was watching the news waiting for Omma to finish supper. Eun Jo was either with him, or studying in his room, but knowing him, he was studying no doubt. Seung Jo removed his shoes and slipped on his house slippers coming into the main hall.

"Seung Jo! Your home!" Omma beamed at her son, and turned back to stove quickly stirring the pot, before turning off the burner.

"Good evening Omma." Seung Jo hung his bag by the door, and started to shuffle up the stairs to his room.

"Hurry back down, dinner will be ready soon."

"De Omma, I will come back soon." He slowly made his way up the stairs, and into his bedroom. He sat down flopping onto his back, and stared at the picture of him and Ha Ni at their highschool graduation. It was so silly, but she cherished that stupid picture like its her greatest treasure. Almost like she believes that one day all of their life will be made a lie and this is the only piece that could tell the truth of what it once was. Seung Jo sighed hugging the frame into his chest. Something was wrong, and he didn't know how to read her any more. The most uncomplicated woman, was becoming complicated.