Chapter 15

*3rd Person P.O.V.*

Joe's face of concern and fear is mirrored across the other digimon and kids after the defeat of Monzaimon by a brave Mimi Tachikawa and her partner Palmon- who at the time evolved with sheer determination into Togemon to protect Mimi as the hordes of Numemon had.

Once it was certain that everyone had been rescued, one thing had been made abundantly clear.

Marie is nowhere within the perimeters of Toy Town.

"The last time I saw her was after Monzaimon captured Agumon and I. We were overpowered and Agumon had been too weak to evolve after the fight with Andromon... This is my fault, we should have stayed hidden in the woods instead of taking that risk and going out in the clearing to find you guys," Tai says, a pained expression on his face. Agumon pats Tai's back, a fruitless effort to make his human partner feel a little better.

"I recall chasing her back into the woods, but after a certain distance, I couldn't sense her anymore. It was almost as if she'd just disappeared altogether. Perhaps you ought to check the area I last saw her anyways. I can lead you to it no problem. After all, you did help release me from the control of that gear after causing so much trouble for your group," Monzaimon states, making the other kids look at one another before nodding. For the most part, Joe just stands helplessly in the back, clutching Gomamon like a lifeline as Marie usually does.

"...Don't worry, Joe, we'll find her," Gomamon reassures his partner, trying to be upbeat despite his own concerns.

Joe only nods halfheartedly, completely silent for the most part as he tries to think on the bright side of things. Marie's problems are his problems. Everything Marie has lost is a loss for himself as well.

And regardless of trying to see the glass half full, all he sees are broken shards and spilt water across the floor- a grim reminder of life's fragility and unexpected cruelty.

On top of everything, he just can't bear to lose his cousin too.

I scramble backwards and trip on a raised patch of grass, my scream now a blubbering mixture of disbelief and white hot fear as I fall backwards on the ground. The strange digimon opens it's mouth to reveal Lopmon's glowing head to me in a crude fashion, as if finding my reaction amusing. Lopmon's head is turning into a flurry of gold symbols like it's body had, rising up to the sky from within the horrible digimon's mouth. My stomach churns violently.

The momentary sensation of fear dawning on Lopmon moments before being caught between that creature's teeth continues to resonate within my mind, originally numbed by my initial shock.

I think I'm going to vomit.

Lopmon mentioned that a digimon's life is cyclical... But I know what I felt. Just because a digimon can come back after death doesn't exempt it from feeling pain. It still hurts it. It scared Lopmon. Will Lopmon remember me after beginning it's cycle again? Or...

The partial half of Lopmon's glowing head rolls out of the monster's mouth, right beside the apple and bandage roll, making me scramble back even more shamefully. I want to hug Lopmon, who I can still feel emotions from even now. It's scared and it's obvious this is it's first time beginning it's life over. That much I can tell, yet I can't bring myself to cradle what's left of it in my arms, despite the kindness it showed me while it's body was still intact.

"You're scared," the malignant digimon speaks up in obvious delight, prompting me to rapidly stand up on my feet and turn to run.

I'm sorry, Lopmon...! I should have made you get away from me sooner. Now you're...

I stagger by a random tree and buckle over from the stress- landing hard on my already messed up right knee. the impact makes me hunch over and deposit my previously eaten apple and whatever else I have trapped inside my belly onto the forest floor. My bad knee hits a particularly sharp rock, slicing it open at the front. By the time I'm ready to get up again and run though, something is wrapping tightly around both my ankles.

I'm whipped back from the mess I made and dragged back squirming and screaming to the area of Lopmon's demise again, held upside down in the air as I desperately call out for my cousin who can't hear me. The coiling grip around my ankles climbs up my legs in a spiral until it wraps tightly around my thorax and chest, prompting me to grab the dark coils and pull at them for release. Once they start to tighten, I feel the space in my lungs begin to gradually shrink with deadly purpose. I cough, the strain against my ribcage beginning to object to the pressure the digimon applies.

Constriction, however, doesn't appear to be what the digimon wants to do with me. As it stated before... It's hungry. Before I know it, it's holding me upside down above it's head, opening it's gaping jaws wide to reveal to me the hundreds of serrated teeth it's decided to chew me up with.

I squirm weakly, but I can barely get a wheeze out as it dangles me closer to it's mouth and-

The digimon flinches and closes it's mouth before it can bite me, whipping it's head to the side to look towards the forest in alarm as the coil around me begins twitching erratically. Whatever it is that's concerned it, I take advantage of it's loosening grip and sink my nails as hard into it as possible until they fold and break. I manage to squirm out just to my hips before the coil assumes it's grip around me once more.

"JOE!" I cry out as loudly as my lungs will allow me after being crushed so drastically, watching the monster digimon attempt to open it's mouth again and then recoil downwards weakly in erratic twitches until it's giant maw is clenched tightly in pain. It's grip loosens again and I completely dislodge myself from it's hold, only realizing how high I am from the ground once I slam into it stomach down and sputter, struggling to reclaim the air gravity has knocked out of me.

In my curled up position on the ground, I sense the horrible digimon scurry away deeper within the woods, leaving me by myself as I stare down at the ground and work on inhaling and exhaling properly. It's hard to exhale, but eventually I manage to right my breathing pace and sit up to scan around to make sure that... Thing isn't lurking around still.

Why did it just run away? ...It said that being around the other kids hurts it. Does that mean that one of the kids are nearby? I don't sense anyone... I think to myself nervously, sitting alone in my spot for a good few minutes before I finally turn my head to look towards the apple and rolled up fabric that Lopmon brought me. My heart clenches painfully, reminding me that a very sweet digimon had gone through something awful all because it decided it wanted to help me out.

"...You didn't even know me..." I lament to myself, staring at the items as tears in my eyes start to leak again.

I don't know how long it is before I finally bring myself to crawl towards the apple and fabric, taking the fabric first and wrapping it around my injured knee after a moment of hesitation- in which I consider whether I even deserve to wrap my injury up after ignoring Lopmon's lingering fear and pain upon it's disappearance. What a horrible person I am...

I carefully scoop up the apple and stare at it, turning it around to examine the bright red shade of skin coating the juicy fruit within. It's rather pigmented- even redder than the apples I've seen at the marketplace at home. My stomach grumbles in want, but rather than take that too, I crawl to a big moss covered rock between a couple of trees and set the apple down in front of it, sitting on my side and staring at the fruit aimlessly.

After staring blankly in my shock for a minute or two, a memory surfaces in my mind and I pull my backpack off of my shoulders, bringing out my sketchbook and a pencil.

For the next half an hour, I draw what I can remember of Lopmon, meticulously adding what details I can recall and wincing in shame when there are bits that no longer come to me. Once I've cleaned the sketch, I bring out my color pencils and start to color and shade, adding highlights where I want them. My fingers ache from the amount of pressure I apply when my thoughts get dark, only releasing my tension and relaxing when I feel my fingers complain. Every few minutes though, I gradually apply more pressure, even breaking my pencil tip once or twice and having to resharpen it.

I constantly have to wipe my eyes to keep my tears from ruining the drawing, blowing my nose with the limited tissues I have stuffed in the bottom of my backpack under the rations of food and the two sodas I got earlier.

By the time I've finished, the sun has started setting. I've sensed none of the digimon party approaching at all, nor has that thing from before returned. Likely, the kids are close enough to scare that bad digimon away, but far enough that they're not within my empathic radar limit. I rip the drawing out of my sketchbook and set it on a flat portion of the mossy rock, using a smaller rock to hold it up in place. Once that's done, I get up and gather two sticks and thin leaves of a plant that could be used as a twine, twisting the leaves around the center of the sticks as a makeshift cross that I eventually stick on the ground by the mossy rock. With my injured right knee, I make an effort to gather small flowers and dandelions until I have something akin to a cheap wildflower bouquet, tying one of my leftover thin leaves around the bundle and setting it beside the rock and apple.

Just one more thing to do... I think, putting my drawing supplies away and fishing out one of the sodas in my bag and setting it beside the apple and flowers. Sure, it's not like Lopmon can drink the soda or eat the apple anymore, but...

...It just feels right.

I stand up and wipe the last of my tears off my face, picking up my backpack and swinging it back over my shoulder now that I've gotten a hold of my emotions a little. During that struggle with that digimon, I couldn't see where it ran off to, but I recall sensing it scurry deeper into the woods. With that in mind, I start walking in the opposite direction, which I figure leads back out towards Toy Town and the clearing Tai, Agumon, and I tried to get across without being attacked by Monzaimon earlier. Somehow, I can't imagine Meramon, Andromon, or Monzaimon to be quite as hostile as the digimon that got Lopmon. The amount of malignance from that digimon had been... Suffocating. Ten times more toxic than the three black gears combined- and it wasn't even giving me headaches like the gears. Being in the presence of that thing had been like having someone shove my head in a blender.

...What was it that bad digimon was saying? I'm smarter than I ought to be for even a genius my age... Sure, I don't like admitting it and coming off arrogant, but it's no secret that I'm very smart for an eight year old. My teacher this last year would always praise me- despite my pranks and behavior problems of the past... But what does my intellect have to do with anything? It also asked me if coming here to, I presume the digital world, dumbed me down into a stupid child. What's that supposed to mean?

I bite my lip, tasting a coppery flavor and feeling a sting as my tongue runs over a split in my lip. When did that happen? Oh, who cares... There's more important things to worry about.

...This digimon is a self-proclaimed old friend of mine and acted as if we already knew each other. Is it implying that I've been here before? ...None of this makes sense and I can't even ask anybody because none of the other kids would ever believe me!

In my frustration, I let out an angry growl and kick at a pinecone in my path, sending it flying so hard into a tree that pieces of it break off. The pinecone ricochets ahead, landing in my path again and giving me the pleasure of kicking it again as soon as I reach it. While I'm kicking, using my right leg despite the pain, I feel the sudden presence of a familiar digimon within my radar and snub out my frustration like water over a fire. The last thing I need is for them to realize I'm upset and start asking questions or huddling around me like the last time when Tai accidentally triggered some very bad memories as to why I'm no longer the impish girl I used to be a few months prior.

...It's Gabumon. Which means Yamato's nearby... I think, trying not to let my emotions dip into disappointment. Not the first person I want to see, but at least it's somebody. After that digimon from before... I think I would rather grin and bear Yamato's presence than be around it.

I flinch violently and yelp when I feel something brush the back of my neck like before, causing a surge of mild panic to flourish at my core when I swing around expecting to find an open maw ready to bisect me.

Nobody is there.

My heart, which had picked up speed the moment I felt that touch at my neck, gradually slows again until I'm left standing there with my hands tightly clutched over my neck protectively. I can sense Gabumon getting closer- in fact, speeding up due to me being startled- but I no longer walk to meet him halfway. Instead, I just stay where I am, making a subtle effort to keep my dour emotions from rising to the surface and alarming the digimon. I honestly feel like I've been put in a meat grinder and have walked out of it wearing the cheapest tape I could find to keep myself intact.

I'm just going to keep hurting everyone. I try to save Tai from Shellmon with a risky move and everyone gets mad at me for nearly hurting myself. I run away from Adromon and try to lead him away from the other kids- and only succeed in scaring everybody and nearly getting Izzy killed in the process. Then I get Yamato upset with me because I didn't try hard enough to get everyone's attention on the Numemon... I'm a total thorn in everybody's side.

Stop that.

I shake my head a little and try to think of happy thoughts, slapping my cheeks to get the feeling back in my facial muscles to keep from having such a dour expression on my face. None of that- I need to look happy for everyone or I'll upset them. I have to be normal. I have to look like everything is okay.

Since when has being sad and despondent ever been abnormal? I think to myself, ashamed that I've sunk down to a level where I have to so aggressively repress my emotions. If I had just fought off my Aunt's pleas to convince me to attend summer camp, I would never have been here to ruin things even more. Lopmon wouldn't have had to go through something as traumatizing as...

...Will Lopmon even remember it? What if I see them again later? What if... What if they blame and hate me for what happened to them?

"There you are," I hear Yamato's voice, along with the shuffling of plants as he comes into view with Gabumon at his side, making me turn to look at him with as composed of a face as I can possibly muster. To my surprise, Yamato immediately zero's in on the red fabric tied at my knee, walking fast enough that Gabumon needs to speed to a jog to keep up with him. "What happened? Are you okay?"

My words are caught in my throat, and I can't help but stare at him in confusion, watching as he gets down to give my knee a good look. There's some dried trails of blood going down to my ankle from the initial injury, and when he sees it, he makes a face of concern.

"Sora has a first aid kit, we need the anti-bacterial disinfectant so you don't get any infections. How did this happen?" Yamato asks again, finally looking up at me and seeing the expression I have on my face when I still don't answer his question. His own features relax as he meets my eyes, prompting him to eventually stand up with sigh.

For a moment, silence fills the air, with only my breathing and Gabumon's movements filling the void.

"...Come on," Yamato says, taking my hand in his and moving to lead us out of the woods. Wordlessly, I follow. Gabumon is silent as he takes the tail end, glancing back into the deeper reaches of the woods I'd come from. If only he knew what was lurking deep in the underbrush...

We walk for only a few more yards before I feel Agumon, Palmon, and Patamon appear in my sensory radar, prompting me to look up from my hand in Yamato's as I sense them run to where I am. Just as they start running, Piyomon, Tentomon, and Gomamon also enter my sensory range- until I see everyone coming from around the trees and bushes to where Yamato, Gabumon, and I are.

"Marie!" I hear Jojo exclaim, but before I can say anything to stop him, he grabs me in a big hug. My feet are lifted from the ground and I bite down hard on my tongue as pain skewers straight down my back from the hug.

"J-Joe, wait! She's hurt!" Yamato exclaims, prompting my cousin to immediately release me carefully onto my feet and give me a once over. As soon as all eyes fall on my bleeding knee, I feel a wave of horrible concern for me flood my systems from the digimon around me. If only they knew I was the reason for a digimon dying in the far reaches of the woods behind us. Then they wouldn't be so concerned about me...

...I plaster a fake smile and open my mouth to abate their concerns, but just as I open my mouth to take a breath and say something, I burst into a coughing fit into my hand. They're scratchy and rough coughs that grate at the back of my throat, the kind you have when you've just inhaled water and are trying to get it out of the incorrect pipe. The sensation of something wet sprinkles my arm, I open my eyes and balk at the small red dots of liquid that I find on my arm. None of the other kids, not even Jojo and Yamato, are close enough to see it, so I reach into my pocket and grab a tissue- making a face and quickly cleaning off my arm before anyone can notice the blood.

I look up, and feel my eyebrows tilt in a slight frown of confusion when I find everyone staring quietly at me with wide eyes of horror. Confused, I look around at them one by one, waiting for some kind of response to their expressions as I hold the tissue in my hand. After a second, I see Izzy slowly lift a hand to point at the corner of his mouth, prompting me to mimic him by touching the corner of my own lips and pulling my hand back quickly when I realize there's something warm and wet sliding down to my chin.

More blood.

Oh, I realize quietly, almost instantly feeling the entire weight of the encounter with the strange digimon hit me at once. How could I possibly think I'd be able to hide the damage from them? Mentally or physically? They're not stupid, of course I couldn't hide this... But I can definitely hide what hurt me like this. After all, they'd never believe the truth anyways.

"I-I know it looks bad, but I swear I'm fine," I reassure them quickly, using my tissue to clean my mouth so that they're not seeing any more blood. "I just fell and bit my tongue."

It's definitely not me biting my tongue that's making me taste blood in my mouth, I think to myself, despite the fake smile on my face and the lies that effortlessly slip past my lips.

A beat passes, and eventually most of the kids relax, leaving only the digimon, Yamato, and Jojo visibly wound up. Jojo looks taken aback by my disregard of my new injuries and quickly opens his mouth to say something.

"Marie... You just... 'Fell and bit your tongue'...? You can't even handle a hug from me," he points out, before reaching over to wipe the corner of my mouth again, where some more blood has leaked out. I swat his hand away and clean my mouth again, trying to push away the bubbling frustration building up in my gut as he shows me the red liquid on his thumb like it's proof to back his claims. "Why are you bleeding from your mouth?"

"It was a bad fall," I repeat simply, voice only slightly hardening at his pushing inquiries. Jojo lowers his thumb and starts to say something else, but a clawed flipper suddenly taps on his leg, prompting our gazes to both fall down on the digimon standing at our feet. Once we're looking at him, Gomamon gives the two of us sympathetic smiles.

"Is now really the time to argue about it? Joe... She's here, isn't she? At least she's in one piece... We can talk once we settle down at Toy Town. Monzaimon said we all have rooms to ourselves there, remember? She'll be more comfortable without everyone staring at her," Gomamon murmurs to Jojo, stressing on the "staring" part of his words. When Jojo registers this, he reluctantly nods in agreement, fixing his glasses and releasing a soft sigh of resignation.

...I didn't even realize they were all staring at me. I was so busy trying to sell the lie, I think to myself, nonetheless grateful for Gomamon coming to my rescue. I shove my old tissue in my pocket and bend down to scoop up Gomamon in my arms, pretending my body doesn't ache and following when Tai and Yamato take the front to lead us out of the woods. The kids are all visibly uneasy again, as if really analyzing Jojo's doubt in my lies about my injuries being the fault of a simple fall.

The only thing that's my saving grace is the fact that I have no obvious reason to lie about it to them. I used to be like that before... If I got hurt, I'd say exactly what happened and who did what. This isn't the same as some kid throwing a rock at me or scratching my arm though. If I point at another kid being the source of damage, sure, that's believeable... If I say it was some messed up digimon trying to eat me? What proof do I have? They'll never see that creature anyways if their mere presence causes that thing to run away in pain.

I follow the kids and digimon quietly, hugging Gomamon to me and pretending I don't see him staring up at me curiously. I don't want to have any emotions tugged out of me unexpectedly if he says anything-

"By the way, where did you get that bandage? I thought Sora had the first aid kit," Gomamon suddenly pipes up, causing me to stop midstep when I notice everyone halt in their tracks.

Jeez, I thought you were on my side, I think, looking down at Gomamon without giving away any expression or emotion of alarm as I find everyone's eyes slowly turn to look at me again. I glance down at my bleeding leg with a nonchalant shrug.

"Another digimon gave it to me," I respond, happy I at least don't have to lie about that.

"Oh? What a nice gesture! What digimon did you happen to meet this time?" Gabumon perks up, looking a little relieved that the tension from before has started to fade away by the power of my fake ease. In reality, I'm just a ball of pent up stress and panic- one without the mercy of even being allowed to linger on the bad feelings and allow them to pass quietly since the other digimon will notice and start flocking me.

"...Lopmon," I say, the name tasting like tar on my throbbing tongue.

I hate this.

"Ah, yes, that digimon is a very docile one. They're rather timid and have a lonely nature, so they're rather empathetic with those they meet that are like them. I can see why they would offer you help, since you're such a sweet girl," Gabumon comments in good nature, not even realizing the stabs of pain he elicits on me with every word he utters.

"Since you're such a sweet girl"... Yeah, right. I'm so sweet that Lopmon is dead. They probably regret helping me in the first place now, I think sourly to myself, before nodding quietly at Gabumon's words and averting my gaze before I can become overwhelmed with the shame.

"...You could say something to that, you know..." I hear Yamato murmur, before Tai slaps the front of his chest lightly to shut him up.

"She's just tired, that's all. We should get back to Toy Town for now. We've all been through a lot today," Gomamon, ever the diplomat, chirps out loud. He points a flipper towards the direction we're currently heading in, grinning easily. "Besides, I'm hungry!"

"Aah, me too! I've been running around all day! I didn't even get my soda earlier because the machine was a fake!" Mimi complains, stamping a foot with a pout. Her words remind me of my backpack contents in that moment, and with a soft noise of remembrance, I put Gomamon down to pull my backpack off and fish out the second soda I'd gotten from the machine earlier that day.

"The machine I got a soda from earlier dropped two, so... This is yours. It was your money after all. I already drank mine. Sorry it's not the flavor you were trying to get," I say sheepishly, walking forward and placing it in her surprised hands. For a moment, she stares down at the can of soda in her hands. In the next moment, she lifts her gaze to look at me flabbergasted.

...

...And then I'm feeling the immediate sensation of regret when she yanks me in an even more painful hug than Jojo had given me, wailing so loudly that I almost feel like my ears will start bleeding out too.

"Marie! You're too sweet to be real!" She cries before setting me back down and letting me stagger back from her to settle my jostled injuries. I have to keep myself from shivering violently and keeling over to hide the fact that my injuries are far worse than they realize.

I think I'm going to have to find a place to be alone where I can look under my shirt...

"Yeah... No problem," I force myself to answer her, falling into step with her as we take the lead to head on back to Toy Town. She cracks open the drink and sighs as the drink passes her lips, the only sound in the silence among our group during our walk as I hoist Gomamon back up in my arms.

Walking irritates my knee and the areas of my arms and torso I'd been grabbed at by that creature earlier, but at least my knee isn't totally swollen anymore. After sitting down and spending time sketching and making the grave site for Lopmon, it had started to decrease in size. Now the swelling was hardly noticeable.

Due to the silence, only overlapped by Mimi's humming as she sips the soda and shares what she has with a few of the other kids that want it, it hardly feels like a long walk to reach Toy Town. I can sense the digimon from before, but as per usual, it's a completely different emotional thumbprint to that of the negative feelings of the black gear. Like Monzaimon had been possessed or something along those lines.

"Hello, humans!" Monzaimon greets our group, making me look up in mild surprise.

Ah... Did I space out for a moment? I didn't know we were already here... I think, meeting eyes with the tall teddy bear digimon and feeling discomfort in my belly despite it's true, jovial nature. It's hard to feel safe when it was chasing me down no more than two hours ago...

"I already expressed my apologies to the other children, but allow me to do the same to you, Marie. I truly am sorry for terrorizing you and attempting something so awful. I'm very glad you managed to get away before I did anything far more regretful," Monzaimon apologizes, prompting me to nod and relax beside Jojo despite the conversation we're bound to share once we're sharing a room together.

"It's okay," I state evenly, so absorbed in my own thoughts to distract me that I don't even realize that Monzaimon is severely guilt ridden until the last moment.

"...It's not though, is it? I really have upset you. That must be why you feel such a negative way," Monzaimon laments after a moment of silence, bowing his head a little with disappointment. Does he think I'm upset because of him...?

"N-no!" I blurt out, hands out as I wave off the notion quickly and bounce my emotions to something a little more sugary, smiling when he looks back at me. "I'm not upset with you, I promise. I'm just tired, that's all... I'm sort of all beat up at the moment. Not because of you though, I'm just a big klutz," I reassure the much larger digimon with a wacky grin, making it pause before smiling in relief.

One of the many weights on my shoulders lifts just a little as I allow myself to be at ease, happy to know that the digimon is no longer upset or doubting itself. At least I'm good at that much... Even if it does happen to be me just playing up my cheerfulness.

It turns and holds one of it's arms in a direction towards the east side of Toy Town, and considering the suspicious emotions behind me from the rest of the digimon party, I don't turn around to see if they're looking at me strangely. They all probably know I'm lying straight through my teeth, but I doubt they want Monzaimon to be despondent and think otherwise either.

As we walk, I start up simple chatter with Monzaimon about the town, something distracting enough that I won't completely fall apart once Jojo drills me for information later. Maybe I can come up with a good story for all my injuries that will appease Jojo's overprotective mindset...