"SCHULTZ! YOU DUMBKOPF! GET OFF ME!"

The eyes of the entire Blue Bunny Ice Cream Testing Room shifted to where two men were hiding-or rather, attempting to hide-behind a counter. For some reason, they seemed familiar...

"Colonel Klink, and-and-and...Schultz?" LeBeau said in shocked surprise. "What...why are you in America? What is Schultz doing here with you? What are you doing in this room?"

"We...um...we, we..."

"Shut up, Schultz!" crabbed Klink. "If you weren't so dumb, we wouldn't be in Iowa in the first place!"

"What are you doing here?" repeated LeBeau.

"Well, you see, we are...uh, we are..."

"Oh, just admit it, Schultz," said Klink, rolling his eyes.

"Well, the truth is...the truth is, we were trying to travel to a resort in Florida named Riverside, but...we messed something up...uh, our tickets"

"WE?!"

"Okay...I messed something up, and we ended up in Riverside, Iowa. Then, we heard about LeBeau developing a new flavor of ice cream here at the Blue Bunny factory, so we..."

"WE?! Are you crazy? I would never want to...oh, just keep going," moaned Klink.

"I mean, I wanted to come here, so I could try the new flavor of ice cream. The way I look at it, since we are in Iowa anyway, we might as well try some of the food."

LeBeau and the others in the room simply rolled their eyes with disbelief.

LeBeau just shook his head and sighed. "What are they even doing in America?" he asked Atarah Derek, one of his taste testers.

"I don't know," she replied. "But I do know that it seems Klink was in the klink for war crimes," said Atarah Derek. "Apparently, prisoners reported being "tortured" by Klink's violin. That caused the Allies some confusion for awhile because the prisoners reported it was his violin playing-not anything physical-that was torture. The Allies also found something in his possession that looked like a bomb*-although he claimed he got it from one of the prisoners. Also, they found a confusing device** in Sgt. Schultz's possession which required investigation."

LeBeau glance over to where the massive former sergeant and the cowering former colonel were standing.

"Fellow ice cream enthusiasts," he began, "I think I might have an idea."

*An MP3 player; see the story "Front Lines" by CollieandShire.

**An eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher (German hard-boiled-egg-opening device); see the story "The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher" by konarciq.

Obviously, this story is a little far fetched. But hopefully you are having fun reading it. After all, the whole concept of Hogan't Heroes is outrageous, right?

I apologize for the long delay in publishing the second chapter. I was hoping to add more to it, but seeing that it has been 11 months since I published the first, I decided to publish this and add more later. I also apologize for the rather blunt chapter 1. Many thanks to konarciq for pointing out the too-quick-introductions of my first chapter! Sometimes we can be so blind to our own mistakes...

Also, for those of you who I promised to include, I will feature you in a future chapter.