I'd never seen so much food in my life, even with our new wolf inspired appetites I managed to stuff myself silly the first day of the cruise. The second day I dialed it back, mainly because it turns out I get mildly seasick in rougher waters. Not the most pleasurable experience but the third day the weather calmed back down again, which helped. We'd flown up to Alaska instead of driving, I had Cas knock me out before we even hit the runway. Best flight I'd ever been on, I didn't remember a damn thing about it.

It was about two months after the first full moon we'd had as wolves. That night had been a long one. Once Coyote and I had gotten back out to the main room the first thing we'd seen was Oliver.

He was dressed but just standing there staring at his hands. "I can use this...channel things into it...balance..." he muttered.

Roy joined us a few minutes later and he was just as bewildered but excited as Coyote had been, "That was amazing!"

When Sam came in it was obvious that he was relieved as I was that we weren't home to rabid monsters. We spent the rest of the night talking, explaining things to Cas, figuring out what it had all meant and in general feeling pretty fucking lucky that we'd made it through without losing ourselves. The next full moon I'd kept my pack promise and all of us went to a wilderness area where I knew deer hunters liked to go. Once we got there we shifted and took down a huge deer. There was this indefinable sense of freedom when we were hunting. When it was over the wolves, just like before, let us take control back and go back to living our lives. In between there Sam and I had decided to hang out with Oliver and Roy in Starling, just to make sure they'd be all right while Coyote went back home for a bit and tried to work things out with the tribe. Oliver's crew had taken this turn of events pretty well. Felicity and Thea just rolled right with it, so did Dig. Laurel, who really freaked me out when I first saw her even after Sam's warning, frigging carbon copy of Ruby, took some time to adjust but in the end she saw the advantages to it. After three weeks in Starling I felt pretty safe leaving Roy and Oliver on their own, Sam decided to stay though. I think he was still worried about being around hunters. I went back home and settled down again. Coyote had chosen not to take her old position back, she said it never really suited her anyway and Cougar was doing a much better job getting things done on the council than she ever had. He wasn't as polarizing of a person as she'd been. She still helped out, healed people, did what a shaman would as far as the spiritual side of things, she just wasn't in charge and she was fine with that.

All in all the hardest thing about the last two months was keeping her from finding out what I'd had made for her. My wolf really didn't like the idea of keeping secrets even though I'd explained over and over it was a good thing that she'd be happy in the end, he saw it as lying to the Alpha. He almost ruined it on the last hunt but thankfully got distracted by the deer and forgot about it. By the time he remembered I was already back in the driver's seat so I could keep him from spilling the beans. He pouted about that. Fortunately I'd had years of keeping secrets under my belt so I could keep my feelings about it buried enough that it didn't really show up in the bond, well that and I'd learned how to block things off from the rest of the pack. Coyote's and my wolves had been kind enough to explain that after the night of the first hunt when her and I decided to celebrate how well things had turned out.

-Pack doesn't need to know everything- Coyote's wolf had said, then promptly tweaked the bond so that the rest of them wouldn't feel what was going on. Thank God.

I hadn't been all that prepared for just how big a cruise ship was and all the things you could do on it. It was basically a floating city and had everything from a rock climbing gym to scrapbooking classes on it. Sam and I made a whole list of things we wanted to do, hell it was all included in the price so why not. Coyote had her own list, a lot of which was massages, spa days and all that. There's no real place to do all that on the Reservation and back when she was still living off it and in big city she'd gotten in the habit of spoiling herself every now and again. I think she'd decided to make up for the last few years of Reservation life during the seven days on the ship. Cas, well, he had no real idea what to do while we were planning. So Sam and I ended up dragging him along on the things we wanted to do, some of which got derailed for me when I got sick. However, my secret plan wasn't. Thankfully.

We'd all, even Cas, had been awestruck by the scenery, the glaciers, the whales, all of it. Sam and I had never hunted in Alaska so had never set foot inside the state, neither had Coyote. Cas had been there several times over the past billion years but he'd always been fighting something or following orders, he'd never had time or really been allowed to enjoy it.

The first night it was half moon, which usually isn't all that bright. However, moonlight shining off water and glaciers is plenty bright enough. Coyote and I had booked all of us rooms with balconies. Sam and Cas shared one and her and I were sharing the other. Ours were basically overlooking the bow so the view was amazing and the four of us spent that first night just staring at the water and glaciers, barely talking at all. We'd even caught sight of some whales doing whale things out in the distance . Oddly I think of all of us Cas was the one most affected by it. He'd spent the last two months alternating between staying with Sam or Coyote and I. Unlike his usual pattern of helping with something then leaving to do whatever he felt he had to, he'd stayed close. Every few days either he'd open up and talk to whichever one of us he was staying with. We wouldn't talk about saving the world or hunts, we'd talk about him, his life. I realized pretty fast that Cas and I could easily spend the next hundred years talking and still wouldn't even scratch the surface of his life. At first Coyote sat in on the conversations but then one night she told me that she felt that Cas would open up more if she wasn't around.

I didn't quite understand why at first, which was when she explained something that had never really occurred to me, "He doesn't really know me Babe. What he wants to tell you are things he's never told another living soul, probably not even his fellow angels. He's delving into all the things that he was punished for, the things that made him different. That's scaring the hell out of him. Trust me, he'll open up more if I'm elsewhere."

She, as usual, was right. The first conversation we had when she decided she was "exhausted" and went to bed early he brought up things that he'd probably be executed by another angel for if he had ever admitted to thinking that way. As the weeks went on he changed. He was in fewer and fewer funks, started to smile a lot more and in general seemed excited by the world around him in ways I'd only seen when he'd first gone full mortal and still had some sense of hope. Sam told me that the two of them were having similar conversations and he was seeing the same changes.

By the time we left for the cruise it'd become something he was really looking forward to. That first night when we were watching the ocean and glaciers slide by his reactions to them were a lot closer to someone seeing them for the first time than an angel who'd been around the planet and other worlds plenty of times over his life.

He pointed towards the top of a glacier, "I remember standing there, or close to there since glaciers can move," he said in a hushed voice several hours into the night, "Michael and I had just struck down several higher ranking demons who had launched an attack against us. We were supposed to immediately return to Heaven. I was, as I am now, fascinated by the beauty that was around me. He said that it was not our place to enjoy what Father had made, that was for Father's creations to do. We were here only to protect and destroy any evil that encroached upon it. I remember thinking; how can we protect something we cannot love." His hand tightened into a fist for a second then he relaxed, "He heard my thought and stated that way of thinking was what had destroyed Lucifer and to guard myself against such things. Then he grabbed my arm and dragged me back to Heaven. I wasn't allowed to visit here again for quite some time."

Over the past few months of listening to Cas I'd long since decided that God's worst sin was how he'd treated his angels. I couldn't really blame them for being dicks, that was the only way they knew how to act.

"Well, take all the time you want to enjoy them now," Sam said. "None of us will stop you."

"Yes, I know you won't," Cas replied with a smile.

The rest of the night passed with hardly another word being spoken. When it got too late and the three of us decided to get some sleep, he'd stayed right there. When we woke up later he showed us a video he'd taken of the sunrise. I caught him looking at it a few times throughout the day. I don't think it was the fact that it was a sunrise that had him so hooked on it, it was the fact that it was most likely the first sunrise he'd ever enjoyed without feeling nervous about enjoying it. As far as I knew he still had angel radio turned on, but he didn't seem to give a shit about what the other angels thought or said anymore. It was more than past time for him to feel that way as far as I was concerned.

He'd tried to make my seasickness go away the next day when we hit rougher weather, it never managed to stay gone though so I finally told him to quit trying. I'd rather just keep feeling sick then go through feeling fine and then getting sick again. The seasick pills they had on board didn't seem to help either so I just gave up, camped out in the room and relaxed. The rest of them checked in on me throughout the day but I didn't mind watching the view in between feeling nauseous.

Day three was the day I'd planned to give Coyote what I'd had made for her. When I woke up in the morning and saw that the water was calm again I started getting nervous, which was stupid so I buried it, pulled her close and slid my hand down her side.

She rubbed up against me and moaned, "Guess you're feeling better."

"Mm-hmm," I couldn't really talk, I was too busy kissing her neck. I'd woken up ready to go. We were on a huge bed covered with silky sheets and the sound of the ocean filling the room. The sun was at the perfect angle to shine off her skin and make her hair glisten like obsidian. I couldn't have asked for a better start to the day. My hand moved down lower without any conscious direction on my part. Turns out I wasn't the only one who'd woken up in a good mood, if how warm and moist she was already was any indication. Far be it from me to not dive headlong into that situation.

I entertained myself and her with some new variations on things I knew she loved that I'd thought of. Her moans became higher pitched cries in near record time. Women always seem to get off faster in the mornings, course so do guys I guess. Hot sex has always been my preferred way to wake up. I held off though and switched things up on her. I pushed her face down on the bed, moved her hair out of the way and started rubbing her back.

"This is new..." she murmured.

"Well, I can't let those massage people have all the fun." I'd spent some of the prior day on the net researching massage techniques. She'd never really expressed interest in massages before and I'd never had one for a multitude of reasons, but I never pass up a chance to learn something new. Especially something that can make her happy.

I barely heard the next part because she'd completely relaxed and was barely whispering, "Not complaining, not in the least."

"Guess I'm doing it right."

"Babe, you've never done anything sex related wrong that I can remember."

I leaned forward and kissed her right in between the shoulder blades. I felt the shiver that ran down her spine, "Practice makes perfect."

"Well keep practicing..."

"Got it."

The first few times we'd had sex after the wolf thing happened had been an eye opening experience, mainly because we were hooked together so tightly due to the bond that we literally felt everything the other one felt. The first time it happened we were almost sick because of the intensity of the experience. We'd worked out the kinks and managed to dial back the connection enough to where that didn't happen but it had taught me a few things that I wouldn't have known otherwise, same with her. We'd both used that knowledge to it's fullest extent since then. I had thought sex with her was amazing before that, I'd had no idea how much better it could be. There was no way in hell I could ever tire of it now.

I worked out all the tight spots I could find, pretty much reducing her to a moaning puddle of goo, which had been the plan, then picked the pace back up. I went from gently kissing her to light bites and digging my fingers into her hips and thighs.

"Holy shit," she hissed as she arched up and balled the sheets up in her hands.

Another thing I'd picked up over the last few months was how to growl when I wanted to, not just when the wolf was trying to take over and protect me. I took hold of her hips, got right next to her ear and growled, "My turn..."

"Fuck yes!"

In a second I'd flipped her over and drove deep down inside her. That wrenched a growl from her, which was just as fucking hot for me as my growling was for her. She gripped me so tight with her legs that I almost couldn't breathe, shot up off the bed and got her nails deep into my back. It took everything I had not to actually howl at that point, that wouldn't have gone over well. In between her ever faster breaths she was mumbling in Lakota, which I'd learned meant that she was more than enjoying what was going on. She was still not quite ready to come again though so I forced myself to wait as long as I could. When she stopped talking and was just whimpering that was when I brought everything to a screeching halt while being pushed in as far as I could go.

She stopped breathing and gripped me tighter so I couldn't breathe. I held her there for a second then moved again, that did it for both of us.

"Oh god, oh god..." she whispered into my ear over and over as we rode it out.

When I could finally think again I couldn't quite talk at first, I was too busy trying to catch my breath. "Think you can loosen that grip a bit?" I managed to squeak. She's got some damn strong legs.

"Huh? What?"

I must of done a damn good job to get her that flustered. "Can't breathe, legs..."

"Oh..."

She let go. I took a deep breath, kissed her forehead and enjoyed the view. She was sweaty, breathing hard, her eyes were closed, mouth wide open and shudders were running all along her body. Yup, best way to start the morning ever. "Morning darlin' "

"Can't think...brain mush."

"Guess my job here is done." I moved like I was about to slide out of bed but she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her.

"Fuck you..." she grumbled.

"Didn't you just do that?"

She wrapped her other arm around my chest and shook her head as I laid back down, "No, I mean yes, damn it! You're not going anywhere."

"I can't really disobey my Alpha can I?" I'd had fun throwing that at her now and again, usually when she was being extra snarky. She usually rolled her eyes and threw her hands up when I did.

"Exactly. My pack, my rules." Apparently she'd just been waiting for the right moment to pull rank, not that I minded.

We laid there for a few more minutes but it was morning, "All right, move," she said. I got up and she stumbled into the bathroom. I went in and took a shower as soon as she came out.

"Guess I won't need that massage this morning," she said as we started getting dressed.

"Nah, I don't think you can ever have too many massages. Go have fun, get spoiled. I'll see you later. Sam, Cas and I are going to tackle that pro-level rock wall. Looks like fun."

She laughed, "Who knew you guys would like climbing things so much?"

"It's challenging, and not in the find out the answer or the world will end kind of way."

"All right, spa day number two it is."

She'd climbed the first rock wall with us and had a blast doing it, but she was getting more of a kick out of being pampered than anything else.

We got breakfast, she headed off to the spa part of the ship and I snuck off to prep the rest of my surprise for her. I'd even managed to keep Sam and Cas in the dark. I went and bought the high end wine that I knew she liked, had them hold it for me to be delivered at a certain time and place. Then I reserved this out of the way secluded honeymooners hideaway that the ship offered. I'd gotten lucky that no one else had snagged it. I didn't want to do it when I booked the cruise because she'd see it on the invoice. I figured that if it wasn't available I'd just carry out my plan in our room but this was a lot better of set up. They'd made it look like a garden, it had a hammock, fire pit, a little canopy area with a low table and some pillows around it and was stuck on the side of the ship so the view made you feel like you were just floating over the ocean. After I secured all that I went out, climbed the wall with Sam and Cas then texted Coyote to meet me in the cafe that just happened to be right near the honeymoon thing.

"Hey guys, after we all clean up, I want you to meet me here." I told Sam and Cas as I pointed to the cafe on one of the big wall maps they had all over the place. "Don't take too long either." She'd texted back that she'd be done in about thirty minutes. Barely enough time for me to run up, shower, grab what I had for her and get back.

My hold on my nerves was starting to crack and Sam sensed it, "What's going on?"

"Just meet me there. Move." I hustled down the halls, took a fast shower, grabbed one of the nicer shirts she'd bought for me, a pair of jeans and the gift, got dressed and bolted to the cafe. I barely beat her there. Sam and Cas came walking up from the other direction just as she gave me a quick kiss.

"Doing lunch here?" She asked.

I'd already taken care of that too, I'd ordered some food when I reserved the spot. "No, I took care of that. Everyone follow me." I took her hand and led the way.

We turned down the hall towards the hideaway and she saw the signs on the wall, "Babe? What's this?"

"You'll see."

I opened the door and saw the wine, four glasses and a tray of food with plates set up on the table under the canopy. Perfect timing. "Cool place huh?" I was still trying to play it off as some random thing I was doing but neither she or Sam were buying it anymore. If the looks on their faces weren't enough, the mix of curiosity, building excitement and a tad of disbelief I was feeling through the pack bond sealed the deal.

"Dean? Sure you want Cas and I here?" Sam asked.

"Yup, sit, all of you."

They sat down, I poured the wine and that's when my hands started shaking.I took a long swallow, it was damn good wine and took a look around. I'd worked out a few things I wanted to say but now that the moment was here something else entirely started coming out of my mouth.

"Coyote, one of the reasons it took me so long to see you again after I got back from Hell was I felt like I wasn't the man you thought I was. You'd told me I'd never become a demon because no one who loved someone as much as I loved Sam would ever turn into something like that." I had no idea why I was saying this, but it felt right, felt like I had to. It also was something I'd never told anyone, even her. It was something I'd buried and tried to forget but it came roaring back as I looked at how perfect she was right then.

She was wearing loose, brown linen pants, a sleeveless shirt that had an intricate pattern beaded into it, open toed, lace up sandals and her hair cascaded down her chest and sides. Her eyes that she always thought were too large for her face were filled with life and happy, the angles of her cheeks had never needed any highlighting to make them stand out. She was beyond gorgeous, always had been.

I almost lost my train of thought as I stared at her, "But I broke, I gave in, I became something evil."

All three of them had gone from anticipating something great to worried, "What's bringing.." she started to ask but I stopped her.

"I'll get there, trust me. After Cas pulled me out and I found out what I had done, what I had caused, it made me doubt everything. Those few days with you after the sweat, I'd clung to them so hard in the Pit. Tried to use them to keep me strong." This was not at all what I'd wanted to feel right then, but I kept going, "Actually all the days we'd spent together. Every time Alastair showed up..." I stopped myself, too many memories were crowding in on me. I poured some more wine, downed it and tried to keep going. Sam started to get up, but I shook my head, "No, don't, let me get through this."

"All right," he sat back down but didn't relax, instead he and Coyote started pushing calm towards me through the bond.

"Anyway, after I caved, took that blade from him and started cutting into souls I gave up on everything. That's what happens when you turn into a demon, you give up on hope, love, life and give into the feeling that you're worthless, that any and all good you've ever done didn't mean shit. Then you turn that gaping hole of hate on others. When Cas saved me, he pulled me out, but that didn't make the hate go away. I just turned it on myself. That's why I kept running from what I told you in that note I left. I gave up, but you never did."

I dug into my pocket and pulled out the box. The minute she saw it the calm she'd been pushing at me turned into something that ran so deep it pulled me under and I had to fight to keep myself standing.

"This isn't about asking, because you said yes the night you sweated for hours to help the Spirits reach me, then sang to me, even though your throat was on fire, to pull me back from those visions, you said yes every time you chose to meet me after I told you about what I unleashed, you said yes when you took on the burden of my nightmares without once ever telling me what it was doing to you. You said yes when you let me move in. This is about me not running anymore, about trying to be what you told me I was all those years ago, what you brought out in me, even if it was only for a few days. This is about being the man you had faith in, even after everything he'd done."

I opened the lid of the box, there was two rings. I'd had a hunter friend who was also a master silversmith make them. They were solid silver and heavy, engraved on them was the image of a coyote and wolf facing each other, necks crossed with a line of amethyst running around their necks, joining them. The coyote had obsidian eyes and the wolf had a dark green tiny piece of jade for eyes, written inside the band of mine was "Aeternus", which was Latin for eternal, without beginning or end, even beyond time and inside hers was "Cantkiya" Lakota for love.

She didn't say a word. Instead she reached out, slowly took her ring out of the box and slid it on. Then she took the box from my hand, pulled out my ring, held my hand and placed it on my finger. Still without a word she stood up, put her arms around me and whispered, "Dean, you never gave up and you've always been the man I've seen. If you hadn't been, I wouldn't have said yes all those times."

"Thank you for all those times, every single one. I love you, always have, always will."

About thirty seconds later Sam proceeded to try to break both our ribs with a hug, this rush of joy flooded the pack bond and our phones started going off, had to be Oliver and Roy. I barely heard the rings through the intense, inner howling that was echoing through my head.

-Pack happy!- My wolf said.

I looked over Sam and Coyote's shoulders at Cas. He hadn't moved, but he was smiling. He met my eyes, nodded and said, "Angels and God, we don't save humans, love does."

Over a year ago I'd been holding a knife to Sam's neck, in the grips of a cursed object and fighting to find a reason to live. Now all I wanted to do was be alive, be with her and enjoy every second of it. I'd finally done a second chance right. Damn did it feel good.

-End