I don't own anything

Warning: Mild self harm and suicidal thoughts. If this is a trigger don't read.

He was staring again. The boy turned his head away but could still feel those piercing grey eyes on his back. Harry tried to ignore the other boys stare and concentrate on the conversation going on around him but after only a few moments he found his eyes wandering back over to the Slytherin table. Sure enough his eyes met Draco Malfoy's as soon as he turned his head.

"...ry, Harry, HARRY!" Snapping his head around he realized that the voices had stopped and all eyes were now staring at him.

"Sorry, I was thinking" Hermione, the one who had called his name, huffed and turned away insulted, but the raven haired boy barely spared her a glance. He noticed Neville wince sympathetically and Ron roll his eyes behind his girlfriends head.

"Are you coming to the DA tonight?" Harry thought about it for a moment before deciding against it. He had been avoiding the defence group ever since school had started back up. He found that everyone's expectations of him had seemed to be raised thanks to his defeat of Voldemort at the ministry last year.

"No I think I'm going to turn in early for a change." He noticed the disappointment present in almost every face surrounding him but couldn't bring himself to care. He was too tired.

"It's not much of a change though is it? I mean you've been going to bed early ever since school started back." Harry decided not to comment on this, instead turning his head back towards the eyes which had now turned away. He no longer found himself surprised by the disappointment that surged through him.

Harry turned back towards his dinner and pushed around the food that had yet to reach his mouth. The conversation flowed easily without his input, it always did. He saw Hermione glance at his plate every so often but didn't comment. Ron would occasionally direct a sentence his way but he didn't speak. He barely heard them. Flicking his eyes one last time to the green table he stood.

"I'm going to go for a walk before bed, see you tomorrow and have fun tonight" Harry barely acknowledged the good nights and completely ignored Hermione's comment about not eating.

Harry walked out of the hall and other than consciously turning in the opposite direction of the Gryffindor common room, not paying attention to where he was heading. It wasn't until he felt cold water seeping into his socks that he realized he was by the lake. He stared at his feet and watched the water cover and uncover his feet in time to the speed of the wind.

He was useless now, he knew that. With Voldemort dead, he no longer had a purpose. Continuing to stare at the water he wondered if anyone would notice his disappearance. Oh they would miss their hero, he knew that, but would anyone miss Harry. Would anyone miss the insecure, abused boy? He had been practically a ghost this year anyway his actual presence didn't seem to affect anything.

The touch on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. He turned quickly, wand in hand almost instantly but relaxed on seeing familiar grey eyes. Malfoy raised an eyebrow at his jumpiness but he couldn't find the energy to be self-conscious.

"What are you doing out here?" Harry turned back to the lake as he asked his question. They both knew why he was here. He could feel the taller boys stare but couldn't bring himself to look into the eyes which would hold nothing but concern and warmth. He didn't deserve it.

Instead of answering the blond boy slipped his hands down from his shoulder and into the hand that was subconsciously making new marks on the already scared arm. Harry glanced down and saw his now red raw skin, spots of blood showing where he had dug his nails in slightly too deep. He could tell that he had been scratching for a while. Most likely since he left the hall but he didn't have the energy to care. When Harry continued to stare Malfoy gripped his hand tighter, using his free one to cup his cheek and wipe a stray tear away.

Harry startled, having not known he was crying until that moment. He glanced up and finally met the eyes that looked right through him. He saw them soften and then the boy gave a weak smile.
"I would miss you" Harry continued to stare at the boy that knew him too well. He heard the sincerity in his words and that was all he needed. Flinging himself at the boy he started to cry completely. Malfoy just continued to hold him as his poured out all the pain and agony, the insecurities and worries. Everything he tried so hard to hold in. It could have been hours or maybe only minutes but finally the boy's sobs turned quiet. He realized that they were now on the dirt, further away from the edge of the lake than he remembered. He felt the soothing circles the other boy was tracing in his back and could finally understand the words being whispered into his ear.

"I love you Harry, don't disappear on me" and he wouldn't. He knew that no matter how many time he thought about it, or how many times he would come close, he would think of those grey eyes staring into him, that voice whispering love into his ear and he would know. There would always be one person that would miss him; one person that could not live without him.

That was all he really needed.

A.N: This is my first published story. Let me know what you think.

WolfWinks -xx-