Two weeks later

"Hey, slow it down. Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me? Yeah I'm afraid. Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?"

The sound of Pink's song Whataya Want from Me filled the air around Jane; it most certainly wasn't the common music that would be selected by the patrons of the Dirty Robber, but it spoke directly to the Italian detective's soul. She allowed the lyrics to slip into her mind and take a hold of her heart while it inspired thoughts of Maura and their strained relationship. She hadn't left Maura's side for the first twenty four hours after her rescue from Ryan, but after that she had distanced herself unconsciously. She needed time.

"Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out. Please don't give in, I won't let you down. He messed me up, need a second to breathe. Just keep comin' around, hey whataya want from me?"

Her memories had returned with a vengeance, threatening to overwhelm her despite the commitment to therapy she had made. There had just been so much death and too many close calls in her life that she couldn't help but deeply contemplate what that meant for those she loved. She was the hero cop of Boston; gallantly shot through herself to save the life of her brother with absolutely no regard to what that action would do to those who loved her. She tossed back the shot of Johnny Red and tapped the bar for a refill, her fingers tapped absently on the glass until it was replaced with a fresh one.

"Ya look like shit, Rizzoli." Agent Victor Mancini observed, sliding onto a stool next to the detective. He signalled to the bartender that he would have what Jane was having.

Jane made a show of looking around the bar before returning her eyes to the FBI Agent and saying, "Geez, they must let anyone in here these days."

The two Italian blooded Americans had only seen each other twice since the rescue. She had visited him once in hospital and then several days prior at Agent Blake's memorial service. He knew that he had once taken an almost instant disliking to the detective and had even considered her a suspect at one point, but the fact was he respected her strength and they were now bonded together for the rest of their lives. They had both lost their partners to Ryan Leiland and he was only sorry that he had not been able to attend the funeral service for Detective Cooper.

Snapping out of his reverie he offered a weak smirk and retorted, "Clearly, they let you in didn't they?"

Jane rolled her eyes and tossed back her second shot in as many minutes. "True that." She quickly ordered two beers, deciding it was time to slow down, before eyeing Mancini carefully. She slid one of the beers in front of the agent. "So what brings you here?"

He threw back his shot and kept his eyes forward knowing that Rizzoli was similar to him. It was easier to have the difficult conversations without the eye contact. "Just wanted to see how you're doin'."

She rubbed at the condensation on the beer bottle before lazily scratching at the label with her finger nails. "I'm fine," she responded gruffly.

"That why you're skippin' out on family dinner to drink alone?" If he had of been looking in her direction he would have seen her eyes widen in astonishment.

Deciding to completely ignore her curiosity over who on earth he had been speaking with to learn that piece of information she instead said, "I just needed to be alone, which you know, you bein' here…. It's kinda ruinin' that."

He shrugged, allowed her words to disappear into the low din of the bar patrons around them and sucked down on his beer, which Rizzoli wouldn't have bought for him if she hadn't really wanted him to stay. He knew that she was battling her own demons and that she had been withdrawing from those around her. He knew because his partner had made a promise to Maura and quite frankly he didn't want her death to be wasted, which it would be if Rizzoli kept drifting on the wind paying little attention to what was happening around her.

That thought in mind there was one matter of business he needed to clear up. "You didn't make her jump on it, Rizzoli. It was her choice, so quit blamin' yaself."

Jane mulled over his words for a little while, acknowledging internally that he had a valid point. Blake was an exceptional agent and she knew exactly what she was doing, she could have saved herself by diving back out the open door and maybe even dragged her partner with her, but she had made the heroic decision. Still there was one thing that bugged her a little, mostly because of her belief that you always had your partner's back. "Why didn't you pull her out the door Victor? Why the hell didn't you save your partner?"

Mancini sighed and turned his head to meet the steady gaze of the detective. "Because she made a promise to Doctor Isles and knowing what I know about her, I knew that there was only one move I could make and that was to cover your ass. She knew what she was doing, Jane." He had to quickly return his gaze front on while he blinked away a couple of tears that he felt building up. He missed Blake, she had been the best partner he'd ever had and had understood him in ways his own wife didn't.

"Well it was stupid," she retorted lamely.

Mancini laughed and tipped an imaginary hat to the detective. It was the first time he had laughed since his partner's passing. "That it was Rizzoli, that it was."

She brought the beer to her lips and revelled in the feel of the cool amber liquid as it slid down her throat. She glanced sideways at Mancini and asked, "How're you holding up?"

He contemplated deflecting with a comment about his flesh wounds from the small amount of fragments from the grenade that had imbedded in his leg but decided against it. He couldn't really expect her to keep channels of communication open if he shirked his own feelings on the subject. "I'm absolutely gutted, but I take solace in knowing it was the way she would've wanted to go out."

Jane quirked an eyebrow and stared at him like he had two heads. She knew he meant in a heroic manner, but she still felt a shudder shoot through her spine at the thought of doing that by jumping on a grenade. She cocked her head in fake thought before shaking her head in the negative and saying, "Nah, still stupid."

"As if you wouldn't have jumped on that 'nade if Maura had been in the room with you." He offered as a manner of explanation.

"That's different," she said defensively.

"Why 'cause you love her?"

"Well yeah." She shrugged and went back to picking at the specks of paper still stuck to the bottle by the glue.

"Hmm," he mused, "If you're gonna die; die for something that you love."

Jane swung around on her stool and stared slack jawed at the hard nosed FBI agent. "Seriously, did you just quote Sameen freakin Shaw at me?"

Mancini turned so that he too was facing the detective front on and held up his hands in mock defence. "What? I do watch television you know."

Jane shook her head and chuckled quietly, feeling the ache in her chest ease off just a little bit at the sensation. "You never cease to amaze me, Victor."

He shrugged again, finished his beer and slammed it down a little loudly by accident. He winced at the glare the bartender gave him before returning his attention back to Jane. "Besides, I had to lighten the mood for a moment before I dive in the deep end."

She sighed and turned back to face the bar. She had a deep sense of foreboding about the next part of the conversation. "Alright, hit me with it."

"Don't waste my partner's sacrifice Rizzoli." He eyed her determinedly, "You're pissing away your life doin' God knows what when you've got an amazing woman waiting for you. Quit breakin' her damned heart."

"Hey, I'm dealin' with some serious shit here. Just in case you don't remember, I watched them bury my partner last week." She went on the defensive, knowing that while his heart was in the right place that he didn't really understand what she was dealing with. She was so conflicted and while she had tried hard to be around for Maura, she knew that she had been distant when she did show up. She hadn't intended it to happen, but they were both grieving and they grieved in fundamentally different ways.

"Look," Jane said, noticing the frown on his face, "She's grieving Blake, feels responsible. I've tried bein' there for her, but I deal with things differently. Coop's dead because of me and God damnit I just have to brood over that for a while."

"So tell her that," he said simply.

"She knows how I work. She's the only one who has ever understood me. She knows I love her," Jane said adamantly.

He cocked his head thoughtfully, "Are you sure she knows that Jane? Or have you forgotten about your amnesia?" He managed to contain the desire to smirk at the inadvertent pun.

She stared at him dumbly for a few moments, "What's that got to do with anything? I reckon I must be close to damn near recovered from that, given the shit bouncing around in my head these days."

He sighed in a loud and deliberate manner. "Have you by any chance told her that you love her, since you've gotten all of your memories back?"

"Sure I have," she stated confidently, her confidence wavering slightly when she searched his eyes. This prompted her to search through her memory and then the realisation struck her, "Well fuck… I honestly thought I had. Shit." She rubbed a hand through her dark curls, anxiety clearly written across her face. She almost fell as she jumped up from her stool, tossing a couple of twenties onto the bar to pay for the drinks. "I gotta get to family dinner."

Jane was halfway to the exit when she stopped, turned and looked back at Mancini, who was still sitting at the bar. "Well are you coming or what?"

Mancini suspected this wasn't the sort of invite thrown about lightly and accepted the honour graciously. He slid off the stool and hurried over, a slight limp from the tenderness in his calf still present. "Well, as long as your family won't mind."

Jane waved him off with a laugh, "Are you kidding? Ma will love you… just make sure she sees the ring on your finger so she doesn't start trying to set you up with Carla Talucci's daughter, niece, cousin… whatever."

He chuckled and shook his head knowingly. Being from a big Italian family himself he knew exactly what the whole matchmaking thing was like; he'd had to deal with his mother, aunt and three eldest sisters trying to set him up until he finally started dating his wife Maria. "Got it. Lead the way, Rizzoli."

"Well look who finally decided to show up." Angela Rizzoli remarked dryly when she looked up from the kitchen island at the sound of the front door opening.

Jane rolled her eyes, "Geez Ma cut me some slack would ya?"

"And who's this?" Angela asked, moving around the island to get a closer look at the handsome man that had accompanied her daughter.

"This is Victor, Ma. He's one of the feds we were working with and I don't think he's had a home cooked Italian meal since he's been in the city so I invited him along." She shot him a quick look that indicated he shouldn't protest her proclamation. He simply smirked in return before being dragged into a Rizzoli hug.

Jane chuckled in amusement and sidestepped the sideshow to move over towards the dining table where her brothers and Maura were already seated. She slipped into the seat next to Maura and smiled timidly; a little unsure of the reception she would receive. "Hey," she offered softly.

"I'm glad you made it," Maura responded brightly. The Medical Examiner had been increasingly worried about their relationship, but knew deep down that Jane just needed time to process. Still it was wonderful to have her with them for dinner and in an apparently reasonable mood too.

Jane's smile morphed into a full blown grin and she knocked shoulders with her girlfriend, "Well I had a little help with that… someone reminded me the importance of family." She glanced behind her where her mother had finally finished fussing over Mancini before returning her gaze to Maura. She placed her right hand under the table and squeezed Maura's knee, feeling a sense of warmth bloom in her chest when the doctor covered her hand with her own. It was a simple comfort.

Across the table Tommy and Frankie were whispering to themselves, casting knowing looks and teasing smirks in the direction of the two women. Before Tommy finally straightened up, looked at his sister and waggled his eyebrows, "Got something to tell us Janie?"

Jane's eyes flicked from brother to brother before she turned her head to notice Mancini take up position at the end of the table. Returning her attention to her youngest brother she frowned, "I'm not sure what you mean." Although from the look on Frankie's face she could tell that Tommy had either seen or at least been told about the sex tape. She was a little mortified at the thought that if Tommy knew perhaps her mother did too. She sighed heavily.

Angela had disappeared to retrieve dishes filled with assorted Italian staples to place in the centre of the table. She heard Tommy's question and her daughter's answer and placed hands on her hips and quirked an eyebrow at Jane. "Really Janie, all of Boston knows you two are doin' it."

Frankie and Tommy burst into hysterics, while Mancini had to contain his smirk. Maura had the decency to cover her smile, never being one to be ashamed of her sexuality, but aware that the thought of her mother knowing anything about her sex life was mortifying for the detective.

Jane gawked at her mother for a moment before burying her face in both hands and shaking her head. "This is not happening," she mumbled through her hands.

Maura brought a hand to Jane's back and rubbed soothing circles. "It could be worse…"

Jane pulled her hands away from her face and shot her girlfriend the patented Rizzoli Really look. Her face quickly morphed into one of fear when she recognised a glimmer of mirth in Maura's eyes. "No, no… don't you dare start reeling off a list of things that are worse, just ugh… no."

Maura grinned, because Jane had said things plural, she only needed one thought to gross out her detective even more. With a nonchalant shrug and a smirk she at least had the decency to lean into Jane and whisper, "Well imagine if it had of been your parents with a sex tape released."

Jane visibly shuddered before pushing back on her chair and retreating over to the fridge. She felt the need for a beer. She couldn't shake the thought of her parents getting down and dirty and she was so going to get Maura back for that visual, when she least expected. Returning to the table she pointed at Maura, "Not another word."

Frankie looked curiously over at Maura, "What did you say to Janie?"

"Trust me little brother, you're better off not knowing." She noted all the food dishes were laid out and her mother now sat at the head of the table. "Alright Tommy, since you started this whole line of embarrassment you can be responsible for saying grace."

"Fine," Tommy said smirking happily enough, "Thanks Lord for the food we're about to eat. Two, four, six, eight, dig in, don't wait!"

Mancini chuckled and shot Jane a sympathetic look. All in all he appreciated the chance to better know the detective and the opportunity to enjoy in some genuine family warmth. He could see already that there was great affection shared by the Rizzolis and that Maura was already clearly one of them before any change in her relationship with the detective. It helped him reconcile the small part of him that was bitter with his partner for abandoning him the way she had. She had clearly seen enough out of Jane and Maura to know that they were worth saving.

"Here," Jane handed him a beer, "Should've offered you one sooner."

He smiled, "Thanks Rizzoli."

"No worries." She returned to her seat and the back and forth banter with her family.

After they had finished the main course Mancini cleared his throat until all eyes were on him, which left him feeling like a deer in headlights for a moment before he remembered why he had wanted their attention. "I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming here tonight. Great food Mrs Rizzoli, almost as good as my Ma makes," he shot a wink at the matriarch before continuing. "Anyway, I propose a toast to family, both those who are here with us and those who are sorely missed." His eyes locked with Jane's for a moment, before the table raised their respective drinks.

With a melancholic smile Jane raised her glass a second time and said, "To heroes and friends." She wrapped her right arm around Maura who leaned into her side at that toast.

"Here, here." Frankie said solemnly, "To Cooper and Blake, you'll be missed greatly." He said what he knew his sister and Mancini wanted to say but couldn't bring themselves to say. The loss of their partners weighed heavily on them and he figured that it would continue to do so for a long time to come.

"Oh thank God they're gone," Jane exclaimed dramatically, sinking back against the side door her mother had just departed through to retire to the guesthouse. "I thought they would never leave!"

"They were just happy to see you." Maura stated matter-of-factly after putting the last of the leftovers in the fridge.

"I know," Jane said with an exasperated sigh and an exaggerated movement away from the door to a position in front of the medical examiner. "But I really just needed some time alone with you."

Maura's brow furrowed in confusion, "Aren't you staying?"

"What? No, wait, yes… of course I'm staying, I just meant that I would have been so happy if it had just been us tonight. No meddling brothers or nosey mother…"

"You brought Agent Mancini along."

"Well yeah, cause I knew I wasn't gonna get that alone time any time soon." Jane shrugged and took hold of Maura's hands and gently tugged her in the direction of the couch. "Come sit with me."

Maura acquiesced recognising a need in the detective to talk and followed her girlfriend to the couch where they sat next to one another. Maura sat cross legged looking over at her girlfriend while Jane curled one leg underneath her body and allowed the other to hang off the side of the couch.

Jane took hold of Maura's hands, allowing their hands to sit in the space between them. Her thumbs drew lazy circles on the flesh beneath them. "We haven't really talked much since… in the last couple of weeks." It was difficult to voice the fact of her abduction and subsequent rescue. "I guess I just wanted to take the time to talk about stuff ya know? I know it can't have been easy for you with everything that has been goin' on with me on top of your own grief."

Years of growing up with Constance Isles and the social training drilled into her because of that was the only reason Maura could keep the surprise from her face. She knew that Jane had been a little more open while her memory was still in tatters, but she had slowly been returning to her emotionally withdrawn self and the fact she hadn't had to drag a serious conversation out of the detective was astounding. She smiled warmly, "No it has not been easy Jane, but I do understand your need to withdraw."

"I remember telling you that I was suffocating under the weight of loving you and the fear that brought me. Now I'm just drowning, not in fear, well, I guess I still have some fears, but I think I remember all the important stuff now…"

Maura tilted her head thoughtfully, "Which means the scary difficult stuff?"

The detective nodded her head once and sighed, "Yeah and so I got all these memories and the guilt from…. Well the guilt from everything that's happened recently and honestly, I don't think there's enough therapy I can do any given week to make processing this crap easier." She leaned forward a little, bringing Maura's hands to her lips, tenderly kissing each knuckle before lifting her vision to take in the loving eyes staring back at her. "I've fallen back on my old ways of withdrawing and I know you say it's okay, but it really isn't Maura. You deserve better."

"You have experienced serious trauma and have been forced to relive previous trauma in the past month. It is understandable that you will have had difficulty in coping, but I truly hope you know Jane, that I am always here for you. I will never force you to talk about anything until you are ready and as far as what I deserve, only I can be the judge of that." She offered a reassuring smile, "I'm just thankful that you're still here with me."

"You do know there's nowhere else I'd rather be right?" She sighed when a moment of doubt flickered in her girlfriend's eyes before disappearing, not that she really blamed Maura for feeling a little unsure. "I've got all my important memories back Maur..." Jane trailed off for a moment contemplating her next words, breaking out into a warm smile when she figured out what she needed to say. "Memories like how my stomach flutters like crazy when you smile at me. Like how safe I've felt in your arms for like, well, ever. Stuff like how when you go all Google I tease you relentlessly but secretly love it…"

Maura chuckled, "That's not really secret Jane, I've known for a long time how much you enjoy my little Google speeches."

"Yeah well, now I remember!" She contemplated a moment of childishness and poking her tongue out but thought better of it – that darn maturity kicking in. "Besides, I remember the really important stuff too, like how my first instinct is always to ensure you're safe and that I have to try really hard not to knock heads together when people disrespect you because I know you'd rather I handle things more maturely."

Maura had to delicately wipe away several very happy tears caused by the rather sappy proclamations being made by her girlfriend. "It would not look good if you went around knocking heads together Jane."

Jane grinned broadly, "But it would sure feel good." She looked down at the soft hand she still held in her own and sucked in a deep breath before looking back up. "I love you Maura and I am sorry that my head got all messed up and made me so confused and that you ever had to doubt that. I love you so damn much it hurts."

She smiled her mega watt smile that served to melt the heart of anybody who had the chance to see it and covered her heart with her hand because of the sentiment. "Oh Jane," she breathed, "I love you too."

"I know," she said as she reached out and grabbed Maura, pulling her against her body and jostling them around until they lie flat on the couch with Jane wrapping herself around her girlfriend tightly. "Because I am simply irresistible," she whispered with a chuckle into Maura's ear.

Maura burrowed into the warmth of her girlfriend feeling incredibly safe and loved in the strong arms that wrapped around her middle. "You're incorrigible."

"That too," the detective agreed. "You got anything you need to talk about?"

"Not right now, I have everything I need right here."

"Me too," Jane agreed, nuzzling against Maura's neck. "Hey Maura?" she mumbled against the skin beneath her mouth, causing a delicate tickling sensation for the smaller woman.

"Yes, Jane?"

"We should get your turtle back or maybe a dog. Yeah I want a big dog."

"Tortoise," Maura corrected automatically before allowing a small giggle to escape her lips because she had fallen for it again. Considering the second part of the statement she asked, "A big dog like a Great Dane or a Saint Bernard?"

"I said I wanted a dog Maura, not a horse!" Jane exclaimed playfully, chuckling against her girlfriend's neck.

Maura pouted playfully, not that Jane could see. Her mirth was apparent in her voice though when she attempted to quite seriously object, "Well you did say a big dog Jane and both of those breeds are…" she was cut off by a hand covering her mouth.

"Don't ever change Maur, don't ever change… and uh yeah just accept that for what I intend to mean, don't go all literal cause I know change is occurring every damn day!"

Maura pulled Jane's hand away from her mouth and then wiggled around so that she could face the woman she loved. She brought a hand up to cup the detective's cheek and smiled warmly, "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

A/N: After much thinking I decided that I would write a longer final chapter and wrap it up here. So that's all she wrote folks, at least on this story. I thank every single one of you for coming on this journey with me, the final official word count is 70,951 words - everything else is just my A/N chattering. Second longest story I have written, only 6,000 shy of my personal record... but definitely my longest for this fandom.

Arkhamknight83, if you're still reading I have to ask... are you still impressed with what my mind can come up with on the fly? lol

Once again thank you to you all, especially those I bounced ideas off from time to time. I intend to spend a couple of days played Madden NFL before I focus back onto my other stories (unless the muse strikes of course). Finally... help me reach 400 reviews folks... it would mean to much to me :D