When I'm Gone

part III

"Sell My Soul"

*****

Tifa was very, very bored. The gorgeous, silver haired man she had mentally come to call Sex on Legs had been gone for hours at Yuffie's "dinner test". And Tifa didn't want to snoop around his house, but oh GOD, she wanted just a peek. To know more about the magnificent General Sephiroth was too great an opportunity to miss.

Standing, Tifa left the guest room an glared at the hole in the ceiling where her clothes had been pinned the day before. Letting out a low growl, she decided to start with Sephiroth's room first.

The bartender ascended the stairs of Sephiroth's home, inching towards what she knew to be his bedroom. She pushed open the door, hoping that something in his room would give her a clue as to how to get revenge for her clothing. After all, he had foregone the food. Which, Tifa noted to herself, hadn't been poisoned anyway, but with much luck, Sephiroth would have been allergic to pepper.

The room was poorly decorated, with drab amounts of gray and black. Tifa made a 'humph' noise in the back of her throat. That was SO like him. Ah, well. Tifa cracked her knuckles soundly. It was snooping time.

She looked first at his bed, and an ancient looking chest next to it with Wutain carvings covering its surface. The chest wasn't locked, so Tifa didn't see any harm in taking just an eensy weensy peek. If the gods were smiling on her, she'd find some kind of porn, and then she'd have enough blackmail for years to come. The thought made her smile happily and forget entirely about a certain chocobo of a swordsman and the petite flower girl at his side.

Tifa kneeled before the chest, her black pants tightening uncomfortably around her knees with the movement. She shifted, and hefted up the lid of the large oak container. Its insides were divided up into sections; the left side contained at least ten million gil worth of materia, which in itself was an incredibly valuable weapon. All Tifa had to do with breathe a word to the young ninja across Kalm, and viola! The sorrel haired bartender chuckled evilly. Even the mightiest general of ShinRa would never stand a chance against Yuffie and a multi-million gil stash of materia.

The right half of the chest contained exquisite, older than old looking tapestries that fit Sephiroth's persona perfectly. Ancient battles of war between Wuitainese soldiers and men who looked like Cetra. That is, they were wielding small amount of Lifestream. Giant dragons, destroying and burning cities. All of the wall hangings within the chest were a multitude of silver, red and black, with an occasional splash of gold, but all the scenes depicted also took place in the past. But then, Tifa started to notice different ones...

About halfway down the neatly folded stack, a piece of black and silver woven cloth showed a picture of Tifa and Cloud as children, sometime after Tifa's mother had died. Cloud remained dejected in a corner, while Tifa was surrounded by faceless friends across the tapestry. The cloth was woven with such detail, Tifa was forced to marvel.

The next tapestry, however, made the girl's blood run cold. Set in full color, the altar in the center was adorned with a honey haired, emerald eyed young woman with a smile on her face. In front of her, a sad blond man struggled with his weapon, as if fighting voices not his own. And above, a one winged angel, his wing as dark as obsidian, his silver hair outshining the moonlight, was poised with a wicked looking sword. His face was twisted into a cold smile, colder than the frigid waters below the dais.

Tifa wished she hadn't seen that smile for herself.

The sharp reminder of what Sephiroth used to be made her spine shiver unpleasantly. Once again, she felt Masamune tear through her chest, leaving that mark that "added character." She scowled, quenching down the fear her memories brought her, and slammed the chest shut.

* * *

"Something you want to say to me?"

Tifa gulped and turned to face a pissed Sephiroth. Very pissed, and holding a certain full color tapestry.

"You have a lot of materia?" she asked innocently. This induced a growl from Sephiroth, and Tifa winced. "I was tempted?"

"Indeed," he said coldly, and tossed the curtain of fabric at her. She caught it deftly, and the One Winged Angel's smile made her stare for the second time that day. The dark of night seeped into the house from the windows, the starlight outside doing nothing to lighten the room. All the lights were off, and Sephiroth's facial expressions played dangerously in the shadows.

"What are you so pissed for, anyway? I didn't take anything!"

Sephiroth sighed and turned to face the stairs. "I know," he said quietly. "But you weren't meant to see that."

She nervously fingered the cloth in her lap. "It wasn't anything I wanted to see."

Another sigh from Sephiroth, and he turned to face her again. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her, gazing out the kitchen's window. "Moth..." He cleared his throat and started over. "Jenova made those for me. She always had a scene for me before it happened, as if showing me what to do. They were records that shouldn't have been kept."

"Then why did you keep them?"

He took the image from her and looked it over. "I don't know. It's not something I want to remember."

Tifa looked thoughtful. "Then..."

"Then?" he prompted at her pause. She took a deep breath.

"Let's get rid of them."

"Really? That's like burning your past, you know. Yours as well as mine."

"I know, but I don't mind. I...don't have much of my past left, anyways. Cloud will return to Aeris, and I hate holding grudges. I want to forget....the pain of what happened. I don't want to hurt from losing him to her again. I want to start over."

"In the case," he murmured softly and extended his hand to her, "my name is Sephiroth. It's a pleasure to meet you."

* * *

The fire was the attraction of Kalm that night. It climbed high and the screams of an elderly couple who thought Kalm was burning woke the town, drawing them into the circle at the base of the city. It was a sphere of light that stroked the sky with individual tendrils of heat. Cloud broke through the crowd, only to stop abruptly when he made it through, Aeris bumping into his back softly.

Tifa and Sephiroth stood there, closer together than he would have liked. Tifa had a hand on one hip and wore a mask of blankness, much like Sephiroth did. Yuffie and Vincent arrived soon after, Yuffie trying to get the people of Kalm to return to their beds.

"Tifa! What are you doing?!"

The tall girl turned her garnet eyes and set them upon Cloud, though she was speaking to Yuffie. "I'm burning a part of the past."

Cloud gulped. Why did that sound so final, and why was she so pissed? Sephiroth smiled grimly in the firelight, and Cloud made a fist. He couldn't do anything, he was so frozen with Aeris's eyes on him, when Sephiroth reached out and put a hand of Tifa's shoulder, intimately placing his lips a centimeter from her ear to whisper something. Cloud was sure he saw the man's turquoise eyes flick to him. Tifa nodded, and Sephiroth distanced himself from her again, returning his eyes to the flame.

Tifa pulled a cloth from a pile at her feet; apparently, that's what they had been burning. Yuffie drew herself closer curiously as Tifa touched the black and silver threads gingerly. Her ancient's eyes widened when she saw the picture depicted: it was Tifa and Cloud, as children. Tifa had her mouth set in a grim line as she threw it to the flames. Yuffie's mind wandered in glee.

'So, that's the past she's burning, is it? If she's forsaken Cloud, she's as good as Sephiroth's!'

Mako green eyes turned to her, and Yuffie stared at the understanding gaze Sephiroth gave her. 'You should shield your thoughts before you send them, you know.'

Yuffie gulped. There was a definite tinge of amusement to his "voice." Well, damn. He wasn't supposed to hear that!

Tifa turned and smiled at Sephiroth, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze before she walked away from the flames. Yuffie wasn't sure, but she thought she had seen the long haired brunette mouth 'Thank you' to Sephiroth. This was deeper than a simple bonfire, by that exchange. The ancient was thrilled inside; this worked out perfectly.

Cloud felt a twinge as Tifa walked past him without a word. He watched her lithe form travel in the direction of Sephiroth's house, the swordsman himself heading to his own home grumpily soon afterwards. Fine. Leave Tifa to Sephiroth, if that was what she wanted. He never noticed Aeris's eyes sadden behind him as he left the fire.

* * *

Tifa and Sephiroth had both ended up in his bed that night. There was nothing sexual about the encounter, but with the state of mind she was in, Tifa might not have resisted. Sephiroth was stirring beside her and blinked sleepily as he met her gaze.

-How do you feel

How do you hate

How do you wake up with

that smile that's on your face-

She smiled at him, and brushed her hand along his chest briefly. "Thank you," she murmured.

He smiled in return and leaned down. Her eyes widened as his lips hovered a breath away from hers. He pushed forward a bit more, meeting hers in a chaste kiss that left her heart pounding. She didn't know what to do, what to think. Too sudden. Definitely too sudden. And at the same time, maybe it wasn't. He pulled back, still smiling.

"Always."

-Out on the moon

If I was an astronaut

Could I get back to you?-

He stood and disentangled himself from the sheets gently. "No matter what Cloud's choice is, I know you can make it through. And....you can stay here, if you'd like."

-I'm out of my head

I'm out of excuses so I'm staring at

the bed, and it's you, it's you-

Tifa nodded again. She looked at this man before her, silver hair and naked chest gleaming proudly in the morning light, and marveled. He...was no longer the man he once was. This wasn't even Sephiroth. This was not a child of Jenova, but a child of a beautiful woman named Lucrecia. This was the original Sephiroth, before he was corrupted by Hojo and experiments and Mako. Jenova was gone, and the man, the general, had been revealed. Even war heroes had personalities beneath the blood of battle...and she was the only one who was seeing Sephiroth's. He was saving it for her.

-I hold on I hold on

I can't let go of you

I hold on I hold on

I'd sell my soul for you-

She smiled serenely, relishing how needed she felt. "I'd like that."

-I'm losing my heart

I'm losing my pride

I'd burn our initials

In the sun if it would shine-

He took her hand and helped her up. Still unsure about the kiss he had given her, no matter how chaste it was, he decided it was just best to make breakfast. He and Tifa could have a new beginning, he knew. One without Cloud, without unhappiness. Just a quiet sort of contentment here in Kalm. He wasn't sure, but he had an inkling that she had never felt true peace, either. He'd like to give it to her, if she'd be willing to share it with him

-I need a fresh start

'cause I was in heaven until

This world fell apart-

He knew he'd have to repent. He could handle that, if she'd go through it with him. Even if she wouldn't, he would take it in stride, as a part of his punishment. But, the more he thought, the more he sounded like Valentine. Even if he were by himself, he'd be okay. Though he had no right to stain her purity, he just hoped....

-I'm out on the run

I'm out in this empty space

Since all of this began

Well I tried, I tried-

-I'm old enough to take

all the blame

For all the mistakes

All the games and

All the faces-

-I'm bleeding by myself

but I'm okay-

...that she'd bleed with him.

* * *

"Sell My Soul" by Our Lady Peace.

When I reread this I realized how final it sounded, but don't worry, there will be more chapters. I like this too much to stop. ^_^

So, cheese yes, cheese no? Cheese me no likey? On second thought, make your potatoes a salad? (Those who have seen The Emperor's New Groove know that I'm not insane. ^^) There's a little button at the bottom of the screen to let me know how this is going. ^_^ 'Til then, ja!