No More Missing Pieces

Summary: When sisterly fun goes wrong, Callie loses her temper and accidentally reveals a secret about herself that she never wanted anyone to know. Warring: mentioning of self-harm.

The whole 'borrowing your dad's boat without him knowing' had been Sophia's idea, but you were to blame too. You had been the one to tell her about your adventure to Mexico with Brandon. Now she wanted a good story as well and you weren't going to let her steal the boat herself. Something could go wrong and she was your little sister after all.

And now Sophia is turning on the engine and you look at her with disbelief. "I can't believe you are actually doing this," you say as you walk closer to her. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

"Was going to Mexico a good idea?" Sophia says with a smirk.

"That's not the point," you say, because the trip was awesome and even though you got grounded for month, then you would do it again anytime. You would change a few things though, like not getting in trouble with the police and you would remember to bring your passport. But you don't think this is a good idea. When you and Brandon left you didn't steal anything, and you know this is technically your dad's boat, so it's not really stealing. But you don't have permission to borrow it and you don't even know if Sophia is allowed to sail it. "Do you even know how to sail a boat?"

Sophia looks at you with a big smile. "Of course I do."

You're not sure if you believe her, but so far she's doing a good job on getting the boat away from the dock. "I thought we were eating dinner, not sailing off into the sunset together."

"We are," she says and points over her shoulder while keeping her eyes straight ahead. "The food is in the fridge. I didn't know what you were in the mood for, so I just brought a lot of different things."

"You didn't have to do that. I will just have whatever you are having," you say as you walk down the steps to the ground floor of the boat and then further down. The kitchen is under the deck along with a small bathroom, dining area and bedroom. You walk over to the fridge and kneel down in front of it as you opened the door. The fridge is packed with food. You get a little worried. Is Sophia running away and bringing you along?

You walk back to the staircase. "What's with all the food?" you yell, hoping that she can hear you over the sound of the engine, but she doesn't answer. You decide to take a look around the boat to see if you can find any signs that will tell if Sophia is planning to run away, but you come up empty. You sigh in relief, but you are not totally convinced yet. You know she's your sister and you love her, but you are really not in the mood for this. Your life is finally starting to seem normal and this would really just screw everything up.

You walk back up stairs to Sophia, who is still standing by the rudder. "What's with all the food?" you ask again as you lean your back against the railing.

"I told you; I didn't know what you wanted."

"Don't give me that," you say, raising your eyebrows. You know you sound skeptical, but you want a real answer. "You and I both know that that is way too much food for the two of us."

Sophia shrugs her shoulder and looks down at her feet.

"My moms are expecting me to be home at 10, and I can't be late." You walk over to Sophia, but she still doesn't look at you. It's a good thing she is sailing a boat and not driving a car, otherwise she would probably have hit something by now. "Are you okay?" you ask her and wrap your right arm around her shoulders.

She nods her head.

"Are you sure?"

Sophia moves out of your reach and looks up at you. "I'm fine," she says, sounding very annoyed. "Could you please stop acting like you're my mother?!"

Now you get annoyed, too. You might even be a little angry. "I'm not acting like your mother; I'm acting like your big sister!"

"I'm sorry," Sophia says with a sigh as she walks over to the railing. She has her back to you, but you know that she is crying. You want to go over to her to comfort her, but you are not quite sure if it's safe to leave the rudder unattended.

"Screw it," you mumble to yourself. There isn't any other boat in sight, so you probably won't sail into anything. You walk over to Sophia and stand next to her. You don't say anything; you just reach down and take her hand in yours.

"There is nothing to worry about; I'm okay," Sophia says. "And all the food was just me trying to impress you, I think."

"You wanted to impress me with food?"

She laughs and wipes her cheeks.

You wipe away a tear that she has missed. "So, you're running away?"

"Running away?" She looks at you confused. "Why would I take dad's boat if I was running away? It's got GPS. And why would I bring you?"

"I don't know," you say with a smile as you shake your head. "Let's go make some dinner."

Sophia smiles. "Okay." She walks over to the rudder and turns off the engine, and then the two of you walk downstairs together.

While she makes dinner you sit on the kitchen bench. You wanted to help her out, but she had threatened to throw you out of the kitchen if you even touched a tomato. She said that you were her guest and that she wanted to do this by herself. While she cooks she tells you about Robert's new house. You haven't been to see it yet, but Sophia tells you that your room is awesome.

"I have my own room there?" you ask her surprised, and Sophia tells you that it is even bigger than hers. You're not sure, but you think that she sounds a little angry and you can understand why. Sophia spends more or less every other day at your Robert's house and you haven't even been over there even though it's been over a month since he moved out. And still Sophia gets the smallest bedroom of the two of you, but she says that it's because you are the oldest.

All through dinner that is the only thing you can think about – you getting the better bedroom, because you are the oldest. Is that also why you always get all the attention when you come to visit or are out to dinner? It makes you become quiet, but luckily it doesn't seem like Sophia have noticed that she does most of the talking.

After dinner you go back up on deck. While you check your phone Sophia walks over to the railing. It reminds you of earlier, but this time your sister is smiling and you can't help but notice how pretty she looks as she stands there in the light of the sunset.

"Don't move!" you say as you turn on the camera on your phone.

"What?" She turns around, but when she sees your phone pointed at her face she quickly covers it with her hands. "No, don't! I hate having my picture taken."

You laugh. "Oh, come on! I don't have any pictures of you."

"That's not true," Sophia says as she moves her hands away, so she can look at you. "We have had our picture taken together."

"I know, but I don't have any that I've taken. So, just stand there and smile at me." Sophia laughs and sticks out her tongue at you. You grin and take a picture of her. "That is so going on my Instagram."

"No, please don't!" Sophia pleads, but she starts laughing again and you continue to take pictures of her. She stands doing different poses – standing, jumping, arms in the air, sitting on the railing. Her face is all smiles and you don't think you have seen your sister this happy before. Maybe 'borrowing' your dad's boat wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Can I see the picture?" Sophia asks. She is still sitting on the railing and she is swinging her feet back and forth, but somehow something goes wrong. You don't know if she lost her balance or swung her feet too quickly, but before you have time to react Sophia disappears over the side on the boat. You drop your phone and storms over to the railing, and without even thinking you jump in after her.

"Sophia!" you scream and duck your head under the water. You search for her, but you can't see her anywhere. You swim up for more air, but when you are about to duck under again you hear your name being called. You turn around and see Sophia swimming towards you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she says, but coughs a little, "I just swallowed so much water when I fell in."

You nod. "Then let's get back on the boat."

Sophia looks at boat and then back at you. "How?"

"How what?"

"How are we supposed to get back on the boat? You didn't hang the rope ladder before jumping in!"

"I'm sorry I didn't think of doing that, I thought you were dying! Should I just have let you drown?"

Sophia doesn't answer; instead she just starts swimming along the side of the boat. You think she is looking for a way to get out of the water, so you decide help her, but when you reach the tip of the boat you see another boat coming your way. At first you feel relieved, but then the boat comes even closer and you can see that there are written the word 'police' on the side. You look at Sophia and find her staring at the boat as well.

"What are we going to do?" she asks and you think she sounds a little scared.

You have no idea, but it turns out that they don't need to say much, because the police officers tell them that Robert is the one who sent them. Sophia had told him earlier that you and she were going to have dinner on the boat and that he could pick her up at 9:30pm, but when he had gotten to the harbor the boat had been missing. He had called Stef and asked her to track your phone, which was luckily still on the boat, and not out of reach, so that was how the police boat had found them, but they hadn't expected to find you in the water. Sophia is too embarrassed to say anything, so it's up to you to explain how your sister fell in and everything that followed that.

The trip back to the harbor is much longer than the trip out had felt like, but you guess it's because you're cold and because your legs are hurting so bad. One of the officers had taken a look at them when you had first mentioned it and he said it looked like you'd gotten burned by a lion's mane jellyfish while you were in the water.

When you reach the harbor you see three people standing on the dock. It's Robert and your moms. They all look really worried, but you know that they are probably a little angry as well. Sophia is the first one off the boat and the blanket she has been wrapped in flows in the wind like a superhero cap. Robert walks quickly towards her and Sophia opens her arms to hug him, but he walks passed her and embraces you instead. You are so shocked that you don't know what to do. How could he just ignore Sophia like that? You push him lightly away and then walk around him, so you can get to your moms. You can see on their faces that they are shocked by Robert's action as well, but when they lock eyes with you they smile and wrap their arms around you. Stef kisses you on your cheek and whispers in your ear that you're grounded again. You can't help but laugh, because you didn't expect any less from her.

When you step out of their embrace you look over your shoulder and see Sophia sitting on the ground. She is looking down at her feet while Robert is standing in front of her. You think he is yelling at her. With your blanket wrapped tightly around you, you quickly walk over to them.

"Why are you yelling at her?" you ask Robert confused, and when he looks at you, you can see that he is really mad.

"Because she could have gotten the both of you hurt!"

Now you are just even more confused. "What? She didn't mean to fall in the water. And it was my fault that we couldn't get back on the boat. I forgot the rope ladder."

"It's not about that."

"Then what is it about? Sophia didn't do anything wrong!" Now you are the one who's yelling.

"You don't think so?" Robert says as he places his hands on his hips and looks at you like he can't believe the words that are coming out of your mouth.

But all of this is just making you even angrier. "No, I don't. The only one who has done anything wrong is you!"

Robert's anger turns into confusion. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" you scream and out for the corner of your eye you can see Stef starting to walk towards you, but Lena holds her back. You know Stef just wants to help you, but this is your fight and you have to stand up for your sister on your own. "You are the one who is doing something wrong. You are ignoring your daughter and you blame her, when you are the reason why she did this, because every time I'm around you forget her. No, actually, I don't even have to be there for you to do that, because you gave me the biggest room. I don't even want to live with you. Don't you get that? And I'm surprised Sophia doesn't hate me when I'm the reason you are ignoring her."

"Callie, stop!"

You stare down at Sophia and in disbelieve. For a moment you become quiet, but then you say, "No, I won't stop. He's hurting you, and he doesn't even know it. He doesn't see what he's doing to you." You look back up at Robert. "Do you really want her to kill herself? Because you are not doing anything to help her get better! You are ruining her, and you are ruining me, because I love her! And I will choose her over you any day. She might have screwed things up for me in the past, but I forgave her, because she didn't mean to do it. But what you are doing is unforgivable and one day she might break into too many pieces and you won't even have noticed, and when you do it will be too late."

Robert shakes his head. "You don't know what you are talking about."

You open your mouth to answer, but your throat tightens and it isn't until now that you realize that you are crying. And from the amount of wet spots on the blanket you can tell that you have been crying for a while. "But I do, Robert, because Sophia is just like me when I was her age." You shake your head and wipe a few tears of your cheeks. "You don't even want to know how much alike we are." And with that you walk over to Sophia. You bend down and kiss her on the top of her head and then you walk away from them without looking back.

You feel like crying again, but you simply don't have the energy to cry anymore and when you reach your moms you let Stef hold your hand and guide you into the backseat next to her. You lay down with your head in her lap and you close your eyes when you feel her running her fingers through your wet hair.

The drive home goes by in a haze, because you keep going in and out of consciousness, and when the car stops Lena opens the door and helps you out. You follow her into the house and up the stairs, but when she walks into her bedroom you stop. Lena looks back at you and then takes your hand, so she can pull you with her into the room and then into the bathroom. There you just stare at her, because you don't know what you should do. You want to ask her why you're in their bathroom instead of the kids', but you can't seem to open your mouth, so you just continue staring at her.

After a second Stef steps into the bathroom as well; she is holding a pile of neatly folded clothes. You take it from her hands and are just able to whisper a quiet, "Thank you." Stef smiles and then she and Lena leave the bathroom, so you can get dressed. They don't close the door completely which makes you glad, because you need their closeness right now.

For a moment you just look at the clothes in your hands, but then it's like a switch gets turned on inside your head. You place the clothes on the closed toilet lit and then start to remove the ones you have on. It's still pretty wet, so you hang it on the side of the tub, before you redress in the nightwear that Stef brought you. You are slightly impressed that she knew this was your favorite thing to wear, but then again, it's probably the night set that she has had to wash the most since you moved in.

When you are all dressed you walk over to the door and look through the crack. You can see that they are still changing, so you decide to just wait in the bathroom till they are done. You sit down on the floor with your back against the sink cabinet. You are so tired that you almost drift off again, but before you can really fall asleep, Lena opens the door. She looks at you for a moment before she sits down next to you and holds out her hand. In it lays a tube of some kind of cream.

"What's that?" you ask.

"It's for your legs," she answers and points at them. "Do you want me to put it on for you?"

You nod and watch her as she presses some of the cream out in her hand. She rubs the cream out on both her hands before she lowers them down to your legs. It feels cold when her hands touches your burning skin, but the feeling is pleasant and she rubs the cream on both the front and back of your calves, but she stops when she reaches your knees.

"Does it hurt further up on your legs, too?" Lena asks and you nod again. "Do you want to do the rest yourself?"

You know why Lena is asking. She thinks you won't feel comfortable with her touching your thighs, but it's not because of the reason she think. It's because of what she hides under the fabric of her pajamas pants. She waits for you to make up your mind and after a second of thinking everything through; you decide it's time to show her.

"No, you can do it," you say as you lean forward and slowly pull up your pants, so your scar covered thighs are shown.

You expect Lena to say 'oh, Callie' or 'what have you done?', but she doesn't say a word. Instead she just rubs the cream on your thighs in the same way that she did on your calves. But something is a little different, because her fingers are working the cream into your skin in a different way. It's like every single touch on a scar is a light butterfly kiss.

When she's done she stands up and washes her hands and then sits back down and takes your hand in hers. She still isn't saying anything and you kind of like the quiet. It's soothing, like the blanket you were wrapped in earlier. You look around the room, but you don't see it and you wonder what happened to it. Did you forget it in the car? Or did you drop it at the harbor?

You don't have time to ask Lena, because Stef walks into the bathroom. You can see her mouth open and you know she is about to say something, but then she looks at you and Lena and closes her mouth again. She, too, becomes quiet as she sits down on the other side of you. She takes your hand and holds it tightly in her own.

"Do you think Robert understood what I was trying to tell him? Do you think that he will be more aware of Sophia now?" You think that your question must have surprised them, because it takes a moment for one of them to answer you.

"Yeah, I think you got through to him," Lena says as she leans her head against yours. "He was crying and hugging her when we drove away.

You smile and now everyone is quiet again. But this time you don't like the quiet. It seems like it takes up all the air in the room. You know they have so many questions to ask you, but you also know that they won't ask you. They will wait until you're ready, and you think you are now.

"I have never hurt myself while I've been living with you." It comes out as a whisper, but you know they heard you. You can feel it in the way they both sit up a little straighter, and they wait for you to go on, but you don't, so Stef decides to say something instead.

"It's not because I'm not happy that you haven't had the urge to hurt yourself while you've been here, but why do you think that is?"

"You didn't take any pieces of me."

"What do you mean?" Lena asks, and you can understand why she might be confused. Your thoughts aren't easy to figure out.

"I think from the day I was born people have taken pieces of me and I'm lucky to have survived, because people have taken a lot of pieces away from me. For a long time I couldn't even figure out who I really was and that's when it started. I don't know why I did it. I just think that it made everything else hurt a little bit less for just a moment. But then when I moved in here all of a sudden no one was taking any pieces from me anymore. I think you might actually have put some of me back together again."

When you hear sniffling coming from beside you on both sides you look from one of your mothers to the other and see that they are both crying. "I'm sorry I made you sad," you say, because you feel guilty for making them crying.

"We're not sad, my love," Stef says and kisses you on the side of your head. "We're just proud of you."

You don't know why they would be, so you just nod your head, but then you get angry at yourself. These are the people you trust and you know you can ask them anything, so that's what you do. "Why are you proud at me?"

"We are proud of you for trusting us. We know it isn't easy for you."

You nod your head again and you think you understand. It's just such a small thing to be proud of, but maybe that's what it's like with mothers. It's been so long since you had a real mom that you have almost forgotten what it's really like. You yawn. "Can I go to bed now?"

"Of course," Lena says as she stands up. Stef does the same and they help you get up as well. "But would it be okay with you, if you sleep in our bed tonight?"

You're surprised by her question, but you are even more surprised by yourself when realize that you want the same, but that you have just been too afraid to ask.

"Yeah, that would be okay," you say and it makes both your moms smile. Stef takes your hand again and you follow her around Lena and out of the bathroom. She crawls onto the bed with much difficulty, because she doesn't let go of your hand. When all three of you are under the covers, Stef still keeps her hand firmly in yours.

And when you feel sleep taking over your body you hear her whisper "I love you" in your ear and even then her hand is still in yours keeping you safe.