Chapter 46

His toothbrush was blue; Kate's was red. They stood together in a little plastic cup with yellow and white stripes that matched the towels. He stared at it for a second and marveled at the domesticity of the whole thing before grabbing his and squeezing more than the recommended amount of toothpaste across the bristles. He turned the faucet on and watched the clean water disappear down the drain, he might get used to his toothbrush being part of a pair, but he didn't think he'd get used to having running water again.

The sound of the doorbell, long forgotten and somewhat foreign to Daryl to begin with, chimed through the house loud enough to be heard over the running water. It might as well have been the sound of a gurgling walker as tense as it made him. He turned off the tap and strained to hear what was going on two floors below. He felt, rather than heard, the front door slam. It rattled the windows. The cheerful sound of Kate's voice, followed by the deeper tones of an unknown person echoed up the high ceilings and did nothing to calm him. He spit into the sink, gave his brush a quick rinse and dropped it back into the cup. Grabbing his shirt off the bed he hustled down the stairs, buttoning as he went..

Standing just inside the front door stood a man he hadn't seen before was accepting a glass of water Kate was handing him. Not a blonde hair on his head was out of place and he wore a plastic smile stretched across his clean shaven face. The sweater he wore was almost as ridiculous as Carol's and it made Daryl dislike him immediately. The man noticed him standing back in the shadows of the hallway and faltered mid-sentence. Kate turned curiously and seeing Daryl she smiled and moved towards him like he had arrived at just the right time.

"Daryl, come meet Dr. Anderson." She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the kitchen.

"Oh just call me Pete." The man said, moving forward with his hand already stuck out to shake. Daryl, slow to offer his own hand, looked the man up and down before reluctantly returning the gesture.

"This is my husband, Daryl." Kate supplied. A look of displeasure, not lost on Daryl, flickered across the man's face at the introduction, but he composed himself quickly and gave a hearty, if unbelievable, "Pleasure to meet you, Daryl."

"Same." Daryl grunted.

"Dr. Anderson, er, Pete, was just here to ask me if I would work in the infirmary with him."

"Yes." The man said quickly. "Deanna thought she would be a great fit and I've needed some help for some time."

"Is that right?" Daryl said darkly.

The doctor flashed another disingenuous smile.

"Well, I better get back to the infirmary." He said suddenly, handing the full water glass back to Kate. "Thank you Kate. I look forward to working with you. Daryl, nice to meet you."

He gave a little wave as he walked to the door and Kate followed him to the porch.

"Wait, what day do you want me to start?" Daryl heard her ask.

"How about the day after tomorrow." He said as he headed down the porch steps. "Give you a couple days to settle in."

"Sounds good. Thanks again. Bye!" Kate said brightly. Daryl could hear the excitement in her voice and he ground his teeth together.

She came back in, an eager smile lighting up her face. She practically skipped over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

"The infirmary." She said excitedly, planting a kiss on his cheek, her body was warm against his. "I'm so happy. I figured I would be on watch or stuck making casseroles with Carol."

She kissed him again, on the mouth, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, wondering if she could feel the stiffness in his hold, the tightness in his jaw.

The front door opened and in walked Carol, another stranger behind her. The woman gave a little exclamation of apology for finding them embracing in the kitchen.

"Oh, I can come back some other time!" She insisted, even as Daryl pulled quickly away from Kate.

"Oh don't mind them." Carol said, waving a dismissive hand in the air. "They're our group's newlyweds."

Daryl grimaced.

"Oh how sweet." The woman cooed, while looking them over carefully. She had the southern art of simultaneously acting sweet while silently judging down to a science. "Y'all got married in the middle of all this. How romantic."

"Isn't it though." Carol said in a sugary sweet voice, cocking her head to the side and smiling. . "Daryl and Kate, this is Maia. Maia lives up the street, across from the infirmary. She is part of the hospitality crew with me."

"Hi Maia. Nice to meet you." Kate said, shaking her hand. Daryl nodded and hoped it was enough.

"I know Deanna asked us to give y'all some space, but I wanted to come down and offer to bring dinner over. Just checking to see if there was anything y'all hated or were allergic to."

Kate and Carol's words tangled up with one another's as they spewed their thanks and declared her thoughtful and kind. Daryl had about enough, and grabbing his crossbow, headed towards the door.

"Nice to meet you." He mumbled as he crossed the threshold.

"Wait Daryl." The new woman called after him. "You didn't tell me what you wanted for dinner."

"Anything but dog." He shouted back over his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile to himself imagining the look on her face and Carol and Kate scrambling to explain.

Kate

The timer went off and Kate stuck her hands into the oven mitts and pulled the bread out of the oven. Placing it on the counter she frowned. It looked smaller than she thought it would, barely having expanded over the top of the bread pan. She poked at the top and wondered if it needed to go back in the oven longer.

Hoping Carol could help, she looked out at the front porch where another one of the women from the neighborhood stood talking animatedly about recipes. Through the window she could see Carol's troubling fake smile plastered over her face.

"This bread doesn't look right." She said, mostly to herself.

"Smells good." Carl offered helpfully from the living room without taking his eyes off the television screen. Judith babbled adorably on his lap. Kate abandoned the bread, mitts still on her hands to join them.

"I remember seeing this movie in the theatres with my aunt when it first came out." She said, watching the Genie dance around Aladdin, transforming into different characters. "Do you remember going to the movies?"

"I think I remember being at one with my mom once, but I don't remember what it was. I think I fell asleep in the middle of it."

Kate grinned at him. She was glad he had some memories of Lori from before.

"We should have a movie night!" She exclaimed, suddenly struck with inspiration and excited it was possible here in this place. "Maybe Olivia has some popcorn."

She yanked off an oven mitt and tucked it under her arm, moving over to the DVD's that lined the shelf and looked over the titles that the owners of the house had collected. Field of Dreams. Father of the Bride. Steel Magnolias.

"Oh, Carl, The Princess Bride." She exclaimed, pulling the DVD off the shelf and holding it up for him to inspect.. "Mahwidge. Twue Wuv."

Carl shook his head and laughed. "Auntie Kate is being a weirdo Judy?"

"Come on. You've never seen the Princess Bride?" She said scandalized.

He shook his head.

"Inconceivable!" She added, doing her best Sicilian impersonation.

Interrupting the refreshing ordinariness of the afternoon, the front door burst open and slammed against the wall. Daryl barrelled inside.

"What's wrong?" She asked, moving towards him with a DVD in one hand and oven mitts still tucked under her arm. He waved her off and paced back and forth in front of the window, clenching and unclenching his fists. Kate could see the woman on the porch looking in, her hand covering her mouth in alarm. Kate moved quickly to shut the door.

"Carl and I were just checking out the movie selection. Do you like the Princess Bride?" She asked, knowing very well it wasn't going to help, but trying anyway.

"This fuckin' place." Daryl snarled, throwing his arm up in the air in frustration and kicking one of the metal barstools across the hardwood floor.

"Daryl calm down!" She said, suddenly weary, eyes flickering to the porch and back at her husband who was red faced and sweaty. "Tell me what happened."

"Deanna's fuckin' prick son and that rat-faced asshole buddy of his."

"What'd they do?"

His rage deafened him to her inquiries.

"And then Rick, pulling me off the guy, like I'm the asshole."

"Daryl." She warned. "people can hear you." She looked desperately again towards the porch where Carol was quickly walking the neighbor to the steps and waving goodbye.

He shot a brief and bewildered glance in the direction of the windows and kept on.

"This place is a joke. It ain't real Kate. These people…"

Carol walked in then, her fake smile twisting furiously into a grimace as she shut the door behind her and turned to face them.

"Daryl, what is wrong with you?" She scolded. "You're making a scene, people are going to think you're a maniac."

"I don't give a fuck what any of these assholes think of me." He roared, turning on Carol, spit flying from his mouth.

"You should!" She countered, her lips tightening into a thin line. "They're watching every move you make!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Rick demanded, rushing through the door, Michonne right behind him. "Daryl I can hear you down the street."

Daryl's lip curved up in a snarl. "What are you going to do, Rick, arrest me?"

"Arrest you? Daryl, what are you talking about?" Kate demanded, completely bewildered.

Daryl glared at Rick. Rick looked back and shook his head at Daryl in frustration. Kate thought he looked incredibly disappointed.

"Deanna asked me and Michonne to be constables." He explained, not breaking eye contact with Daryl until he looked to Kate and said simply. "We accepted."

"Just one of them now, I guess." Daryl spat. "We ain't even discussed whether we're stayin' here and you're all goin' along with whatever that bitch says."

He shot Kate an accusatory look that felt like a punch in the gut.

"That isn't fair Daryl." Michonne started. "She's giving everyone jobs."

"Not everyone." He growled and walked out the front door.

They feasted that night on duck and warm beet salad, courtesy of Maia from down the street and Kate's extremely dense bread.

"It still tastes pretty good." Carl tried to assure Kate, his mouth full.

"Thanks Carl." She said with a sad smile. The bread was the least of her worries now. It had been hours since Daryl had left and she was warring with all the emotions that caused.

"Don't worry about Daryl. He always comes back."

He walked off to grab more food and Kate looked out the window hoping she'd see Daryl wandering back home. The group was abuzz with news of their job assignments and as she waited for her husband to return, she listened to them all talk excitedly about the things they'd be spending their days doing.

"I'll be working at the school with the younger children." She heard Beth tell Carol who was asking everyone the details of their assignment as if she was on a fact finding mission.

"Deanna wants Maggie to be her right hand person." Glenn said proudly. "They're going to start a government."

"Well, so far, I mostly just follow her around and write what she says down."

"What will you be doing, Glenn?" Abe asked.

"I was assigned to supply runs with Deanna's son Aiden and Nicholas." He sighed and reached out to rub Maggie's shoulders. "After today, I'm not sure if that will change or not."

"I don't think so." Maggie added. "If anything I think it made Deanna realize it was necessary."

"Well I'd love to help you out with those two clowns, but Deanna put me on the construction crew." Abe explained, his chest puffed out a bit and a grin setting his moustache off balance.

Michonne walked over to Kate holding two coffee cups.

"Want one?"

"Thanks." She said, taking the hot cup out of Michonne's hand. "I don't think I'll ever refuse an offered drink again after last week."

"Tell me about it." Michonne said, settling down on the couch next to Kate and blowing the steam off the top of her coffee. "Did Rick explain to you what happened today?"

"The thing with Deanna's son and his friend?"

Michonne nodded. "Daryl did the right thing helping out Glenn. Glenn had Aiden handled, but it would've been two against one if Nicholas started throwing punches too."

Kate cringed. "Rick said he had to pull Daryl off the guy."

"He did, and Daryl was all kinds of worked up. You know how he gets. He'll cool down."

"Carol said they are watching Daryl. I'm just worried…"

"Hey, don't." Michonne said, shaking her head. "Deanna said today, in front of everyone that could hear, that we are part of this community. That we are equals."

"All of us?" Kate asked, her eyebrows raised doubtfully over her face.

"We're a package deal. Plus, now that Rick and I are the law around here." She tried to say it light-heartedly, but Kate couldn't muster much more than a weak smile. She didn't feel right laughing about something that had bothered Daryl so much.

"But seriously…" Michonne sobered. "It'll be fine. They're putting trust in us and we trust Daryl. They'll figure it out."

Kate nodded. She took a sip of the hot coffee. "Are you happy with being a constable?"

Michonne considered the question. "I don't know yet. I didn't expect it. I don't know what it means, it seems like a big risk for Deanna to put so much trust in strangers. What about you? Do you want to work in the infirmary?"

"They would've been better off putting Maggie or Carol in there, they have more experience, but I think it'll be interesting. Maybe I'll learn some helpful stuff."

Out of the corner of her eye Kate saw Rick emerge hesitantly from the dark hallway. He was wearing a uniform: a blue button up shirt, a narrow navy tie and a windbreaker complete with a patch in the shape of a badge sewn onto the front.

One-by-one the conversations around the room dropped off as they all turned to stare at him as he stood self-consciously in front of them. Although Kate had known Rick in the days he was still wearing his sheriff's uniform, to see him dressed in one now seemed surreal and even just a little bit unsettling.

In their awed silence, they could easily hear the sound of heavy boots on the porch steps.

Kate rose from the couch, but Rick waved her off.

"I got this."

As much as she wanted to go to Daryl, she knew how important it was for he and Rick to resolve their issues together. She sat back on the couch and watched him disappear out the front door. On his heels was Carol, who without a look in Kate's direction slipped out onto the porch to join the two men..

"Really?" Kate huffed irritably, turning her hands up in frustration.

Michonne raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "She's something else."

DARYL

"We good?" Rick asked, walking out onto the porch.

"Yeah." Daryl grunted, taking a drag from his cigarette as he leaned against the porch railing and looked his friend over. "You a cop again?"

Rick sighed and looked down at his clothes. "I'm tryin' it on for size."

Carol stepped out of the house, sticking her hands in the pockets of her frumpy sweater. The two of them looked like they were dressed in costumes and it was unsettling.

"So we're staying?" She asked, her voice sounding familiar for the first time since they'd arrived here.

"I think we can start staying in our own homes." Rick said. "Settle in."

This wasn't news to Daryl. Rick wouldn't have accepted the constable job if they were moving on tomorrow. Still, his chest tightened a little at the words and a part of him longed to be back on the road, as horrible as it had been.

"If we get comfortable here," Carol warned. "We let our guard down, this place is going to make us weak."

It was just a small concern, but it felt like a life preserver had been thrown his way. Maybe he'd misread Carol's quick attempt at fitting in. He watched her face carefully as she listened to Rick's response, she didn't look happy about the decision to stay.

"It's not going to happen." Rick said without hesitation. He walked over to the railing and looked far down the darkened street. The people in this community were already tucked quietly in their homes, feeling safe and unconcerned. "We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work and if they can't make it, then we'll just take this place."

Rick turned to face them, his face hard and his eyes steely. Despite the uniform and the clean shaven skin, Daryl saw the man that killed his own best friend, who slaughtered the people from Terminus in Gabriel's church, who had gotten them this far. The tightness in Daryl's chest loosened its hold.

Long after Rick had returned inside, Carol remained with Daryl on the porch, sitting side-by-side on the steps.

"So this is all bullshit?" He asked her, nodding at her clothes.

She looked down at her outfit and ran her hands over the khaki fabric of her pants.

"You don't like it?" She asked, feigning hurt feelings and using her Alexandria voice again.

He snorted.

"You thought this was for real?" She asked, becoming Carol again. She stared off into the darkness. "You think I want to chit chat with these idiot women about how much I miss my dead husband and be part of their book club?"

"I dunno. Thought you were tryin'. Dressin' funny, cookin' food, givin' me shit about not takin' a shower and yellin' in front of the neighbors."

"I learned a long time ago how to fake things to survive Daryl. Long before I knew you. People trust you a hell of a lot faster when they aren't afraid of you, when you act like one of them and I need them to trust me."

"Why?"

"So when the shit hits the fan, because we know it will, I'll see it coming. I'll know who we can count on and who we can't."

Daryl took a long draw on his cigarette before dropping it onto the clean white paint of the porch steps and crushing it out under his boot.

"Kate knew you were up to somethin'."

"What do you mean?" She asked, an edge to her voice.

"She asked me the first day we got here why you were actin' weird."

"Daryl, you know I love Kate, but Kate came from a place just like this. She will feel right at home here and she'll buy right into the rebuilding society bullshit Deanna is pushing. Unlike you and me, Kate doesn't have to fake it here because this is exactly what Kate is. Pretty soon it'll be like she never left, like she never was beyond these walls."

He eyed her uneasily, his teeth working the insides of his mouth.

"Daryl, she can't know about what Rick said tonight, about taking this place over, for her own protection."

The house had grown quiet and the porch uncomfortable, so Daryl pulled himself off the wooden boards and scooped up his crossbow. He turned the knob slowly and eased the door open. Waking up one person would be bad enough but there were 12 sleeping souls to contend with, tucked in toe to head in the living room where the furniture had been rearranged to fit everyone, and he figured he'd drawn enough unwanted attention to himself today.

Walking silently across a floor too new to squeak under his boots, he found his way to Kate who's open, wounded eyes pinned him down in the moonlight. He should've known, should've had a plan for finding her awake, but he didn't so he pointed worlessly upstairs and let the choice to follow him or not be her's.

Alone in the room at the top of the house he avoided her eyes and busied himself at the windows looking over the sleeping street while pulling off his vest. He emptied his pockets of small stones, a dented toy car and the key to the cabin and laid them in a pile on the top of the dresser. He could feel Kate's eyes on him, knew when he turned around she'd be perched on the bed expectantly, patiently waiting for him to talk so she didn't scare him back outside with her words. So he bought himself time by slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

He didn't know where to start, how to begin to untangle the confusion in his chest. Life on the road was grueling, but their relationship had always been simple. Now, with Carol's words running through his mind, he felt a chasm had opened up between them and it terrified him.

"Rick looks like an asshole in that uniform." He said hoarsely, pulling the shirt off his shoulders and tossing it onto the chair in the corner of the room.

She gave a short, breathy laugh.

He unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops on his pants and with nothing else left to do but face her he turned. She was watching him undress from under the covers.

"Are you guys ok?" She asked quietly. "You and Rick?"

"Ya, we're good." He said, making his way to the bed and slipping under the sheets. His bare skin grazed her's and he wondered if it meant he was forgiven. His fingers danced along her ribs.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?" He said, distracted by her soft skin and the way it felt under his rough hands.

"What did you, Rick, and Carol talk about tonight on the porch?"

The jaw in his muscle tightened noticeably and his hand stilled.

He shook his head. "Nothin' really."

She studied his face and he turned away to escape the scrutiny, turning onto his back and staring up at the moon streaked ceiling, remembering Carol's warning to protect Kate, to not tell her what they were planning.

"Michonne told me what happened today with Deanna's son and his friend. She said you did the right thing."

Daryl nodded but offered nothing. No retelling of the events from his side, no explanation for his outburst. He was too afraid she'd criticize his actions and he didn't think he could handle her disapproval tonight.

"I didn't know you were upset about my job. If…"

He cut her off. "Naw. I ain't got a problem with your job."

"Ok." She said in a small voice. "I'm sure you'll be assigned soon."

The muscle in his jaw tightened again, but he didn't say anything.

She gave an exasperated sigh. "Daryl?" She begged.

"Kate, if it doesn't work out here, would you be ok with movin' on, maybe even leavin' the others behind?"

"Why wouldn't it work here?" She said, her voice edged with panic.

"Just if it doesn't."

"Daryl, I like it here. Did something happen?"

"No." He said, rolling back over to face the uneasiness in her eyes. He wished he'd never said anything. "No reason. Forget I asked."

The man pulled the gate open with a screech and Daryl followed Rick and Carol back inside the walls with a plan in place. Carol smiled sweetly at the guard, a big, blonde guy named Tobin who was chattier than Daryl prefered.

"How'd shooting practice go?" He asked, a friendly smile on his face.

"I think I'm improving!" Carol said with fake enthusiasm. "I hit a can."

"Well that's great." The man said. "Well you let me know if you ever want to go out. I know my way around a gun pretty well."

Daryl snorted and turned on his heel, even if he now understood why Carol was acting the way she was, it still made him uneasy when she flipped the switch. Standing across the entrance road near the pond Kate stood watching them, her hands on her hips, her mouth pinched together.

"Hey." He said, squinting into the sun and hoping it masked any trace of guilt on his face.

"Hey." She said. "What were you guys doing out there?"

Her accusatory tone offended him, but since he wasn't planning on telling her about their plan to steal guns he figured it was deserved.

"Uh. Just lookin' around. Carol wanted to shoot."

She crinkled up her forehead. "Carol wanted to shoot?"

"That's what I said."

She narrowed her eyes and studied his face.

"What's your problem?" He grumbled

"Mr. and Mrs. Dixon!" Deanna called out, crossing the grass to join them. Daryl groaned. The last thing he wanted to do right now was be social. Kate replaced the troubled look on her face with a smile and whispered, "Be nice."

"Hi Deanna." Kate said, but she wasn't as good of an actress as Carol was and he could hear the tension lurking just underneath. "How are you?"

"I am very well!" Deanna smiled like someone who didn't have a care in the world, which Daryl found ironic given the circumstances. "Glad I ran into you this morning. I was actually just headed over to your place to let everyone know I'll be hosting a welcome for all of you at my home tonight."

"A..a welcome?" Kate asked hesitantly. Daryl moved restlessly beside her, practically pacing in two feet of space, but knowing if he sulked off it would make everything worse he stayed put.

"Yes, so the rest of our residents can meet you." Deanna's eyes shifted curiously between the two of them. "There will be food, wine and good conversation."

Daryl and Kate stared back at her silent and dumbfounded, but Deanna was undeterred.

"It'll be fun. I promise. Now go up to the pantry and see if Olivia can find you both some clothes to wear tonight. Apocalypse chic. Maybe tonight we'll get a chance and I can hear all about how you two fell in love."

With that dreadful promise, she gave them another smile and headed off, presumably to tell the rest of their group the news.

Kate took a deep breath and started to laugh.

"A party. I can't believe it."

"She's nuts." Daryl mumbled.

She ignored him."Well, I guess we should go up to the pantry and see if they have anything for us to wear."

"Go ahead." He said. "I ain't goin' to no party."

"Daryl, you have to go!"

"I don't hafta do nothin'." He snarled.

Her anger returned. "So I have to go by myself. Thanks a lot Daryl" She turned away from him and started up the path towards the pantry.

"You don't have to go neither. You just want to." He called after her.

She rounded back on him. "What if I do? Is that so awful?"

"Do whatcha want, makes no diff'rence to me. Just leave me out of all this bullshit."

"It's not bullshit! It makes sense that they want to meet us." She looked around, worried no doubt that they were making a scene. She tried a softer approach. "Please go with me."

He stared at her, his teeth biting at the inside of the lips. He shook his head.

"Naw, it'll save us both the pain of you havin' to introduce me as your husband."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't even pretend you haven't seen the way they look at me when they find out we're together. Like it ain't possible, like I've forced you or tricked you into it."

She shook her head. "That's not true Daryl."

"Oh it ain't? Then why you so worried about what the neighbors think of me? Why'd you whisper at me to be nice when she walked up. What is it you think I'm goin' to do Kate?"

"I'm worried about what they think of all of us?" She countered and there was so much hurt in her voice that Daryl wished he could stop himself, but everything was coming up out of him.

"Afraid you won't fit in here if they know you're married to trash? Want to go pick out a fuckin' sweater to dress me up in, take me to the party and maybe if I keep my dumb, redneck mouth shut they won't know what a loser you're married to."

"What are you talking about?" She shook her head like he was speaking a different language. "I've told every single person I've met since we've been here that you're my husband. I'm not hiding it from anyone. I don't want to hide it! Don't you dare push your insecurities on me Daryl!"

He shook his head and sneered. "Have fun at your party."

"Open the gate." He shouted at Tobin as he marched towards it. He walked back outside without a look back.