Chapter Two:

Communication

It had taken Jasmine hours to clean the floor in the bird room, and as she stood back and surveyed her handiwork, she decided that a new keeper for the birds was definitely needed. Jasmine knew that she could not continue caring for the birds as well as taking on the added responsibilities of being the queen of Deltora for much longer.

It was early in the evening now, and Jasmine knew that soon she would be expected to attend dinner with Lief, Doom and Sharn. As she looked down at her filthy leggings, Jasmine wished that time would allow her to change her clothes. She knew that it would not do for the queen of Deltora to attend a palace meal dressed as she was, but as she heard the bell for dinner begin to ring, she realised that there was no help for it. She only hoped that Lief and the others would understand. It also helped that the four of them still ate in the kitchen with the cooks, instead of in the great dining room.

Leaving the birds to enjoy their own meal, Jasmine quickly made her way to the kitchens, where she found Sharn and Doom sitting side by side and deep in conversation. They looked around as she entered, but neither of them spoke. As Jasmine sat down, she saw that Sharn and Doom were both looking at a paper that seemed to be covered in Doom's handwriting. No doubt, it had something to do with Doom's impending journey.

A few moments later, Lief came into the room, and Jasmine felt her heart skip a beat as it did every time she saw him. As he sat down beside her, Jasmine noticed that he was carrying a pack.

"Where are you going, Lief?" She asked him as he placed the pack on the floor beneath his chair. For reasons that were unknown to Jasmine, Lief blushed scarlet as he looked at her, as though he knew that bringing a pack to a palace meal was od, and was embarrassed by it.

"Oh…" Lief seemed to be struggling to find the words he needed, which was unusual for him. "N-nowhere, really," he said at last.

"No?" Sharn asked, joining in when she saw Lief's face. "Then why are you carrying a pack?"

"Oh," Lief said again. "It just has some things in it that I might need later, that is all."

Immediately suspicious, Jasmine made a grab for one of the pack's straps, and dragged it to rest beneath her own chair.

"Then I hope you won't mind me looking through it," she said casually. "I cannot think of anything that you would need that you don't already have, Lief."

"No!" Lief cried, pulling the pack back to rest beneath his own chair. Jasmine thought his reaction was quite disproportionate, but she did not say so. It seemed that Lief would keep his secrets, strange as they were, at least for now.

The evening meal continued in relative silence, the pack soon forgotten as the food was served. Sharn and Doom spoke little, and Lief seemed to be too preoccupied with whatever was on his mind to say much. But when Jasmine finished her meal and put down her cutlery, Lief finally looked at her and spoke.

"Jasmine," he said tentatively. "I was wondering… if… uh…" Lief broke off. Jasmine looked at him. His mouth was opening and closing rapidly, much like that of a fish that had just been caught.

"What is it, Lief?" Jasmine asked him. Sharn and Doom were watching them now, having just finished their own dinner.

Lief stood and retrieved his pack from beneath his chair. Then, without a word, he began walking toward the door that lead out to the gardens, beckoning her to follow him.

When Jasmine caught up with Lief just outside the kitchen door, she took his hand and allowed him to lead her into the gardens. But when she realised where he was leading her, she stopped dead.

"Lief," she began. "What…Why?" It was not that she had anything against going to the forest corner with Lief; she had very much enjoyed the last time they had gone there together. Even so, she would have liked an explanation as to what Lief was doing. It always annoyed Jasmine when he kept things from her.

"I got it wrong last time," Lief said, looking straight at her. "Last time we went to the forest corner, I got it wrong. And now, I need to get it right."

Jasmine noticed that as Lief spoke, his eyes moved from her face, to the bandage that was still fastened securely around her wrist.

"What do you mean, Lief?" She asked, feeling slightly alarmed. "What did you get wrong?"

Lief's eyes moved from the bandage on Jasmine's wrist, to the toes of his own boots. He was also blushing again, and Jasmine wondered if something was seriously wrong with him. His behaviour all evening had been strange, to say the least, and there was still no explanation from him as to why he was carrying the pack.

"I need to get it right," Lief repeated, finally looking back up into her face. There was something in Lief's eyes that unsettled Jasmine, but for the life of her, she could not think what it was.

"What did you get wrong, Lief?" Jasmine asked him again. "I am sure that whatever it was, it will not ruin you."

"It might," Lief replied. "If I do not get it right now."

Lief's eyes had moved back to the bandage on her wrist, and now, Jasmine felt herself becoming impatient with him. It was true that Jasmine had helped Lief in this way before, when the fears and worries in his mind had become too much for him to bare on his own, but that did not make the situation she was currently in any better. It was at time like this, when Lief did not explain to her what was on his mind, that it annoyed her most.

"Lief," Jasmine said firmly, looking him straight in the eyes. "If you like, I will go to the forest corner with you, and you can tell me what this problem is that you need to fix, and perhaps I can help you…" She broke off upon seeing the visible relief that seemed to pass over her husband. It seemed that without knowing it, she had said the right thing. So there was one problem solved.

In the place they called the forest corner, Lief and Jasmine sat together beneath the tree where they had sat only ten days earlier. From where she sat beside him, Jasmine could see Lief sitting very still, with his pack resting on the grass on his other side. She could also see the setting sun through the tree's leaves, and she wondered how long it would be before Lief finally spoke. She hoped that he would not make her wait all night, as he had done before. Taking a chance, she lightly touched his hand.

"Lief," she said carefully. "Why did you want me to come here with you just now?"

"Because I need to get it right," he answered, as though he had rehearsed this.

"But what is it that you need to get right?" Jasmine asked, becoming impatient again.

Lief looked at her bandage again, and then reached across with his other hand to touch it. At the same time, his face reddened once again. And all of a sudden, Jasmine understood.

"Lief," she said. "You cannot mean…" She stopped there, blushing herself. She had still not learned any polite words for what Lief appeared to be trying to tell her. Still, she tried again, this time taking a different approach.

"I cut my wrist so the blood would appear," she said gently. "It had nothing to do with you, really."

"But it did!" Lief exclaimed, his eyes returning to her face. "Jasmine, it had everything to do with me! My mother knew about it, but I did not. And now, I know why. Jasmine, I am so sorry. If I had known that night that you would bleed, or that you would cut yourself with a dagger the morning after we were wed, I never would have…"

"You never would have what, Lief?" Jasmine half-shouted, suddenly feeling very hurt. "You never would have lain with me? Is that what you are saying? Because…"

Jasmine's voice broke as she said that last word, and she found that she could not say any more. She stood to go, turning away from Lief as she did so. She would not let him see the tears that had begun to well in her eyes. Not now. Not after what he had just said. The idea that Lief might have chosen not to lie with her, simply because she was a maiden who was sure to bleed was like a knife through her heart.

But Lief it seemed, had other ideas. As soon as she began to walk swiftly back the way they had come, he jumped up and threw his arms around her from behind, preventing her from moving any further.

"Jasmine, no!" Lief cried, his voice trembling. "Please, do not go, that is not what I meant. How could you think that?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued.

"If I had known that I would hurt you that night, I would not have done what I did. Or at least, not right then."

Not understanding but wanting to know more, Jasmine finally turned to look at him. And with a shock, she saw that he was also crying. Whatever Lief thought he had done, it was plainly upsetting him. Jasmine felt the flair of anger die, but the hurt was still there.

"What would you have done, then?" Jasmine asked him, slowly turning in his arms so they were face to face.

"I would have treated you better," he whispered. "I would have made sure that you felt right… That you felt comfortable. I… Jasmine, there were so many things I wanted to do with you that night. But what we did do was what I wanted most. I… I put my own needs and desires before yours, and for that, I am sorry. I was hoping that now you might give me a chance to put things right… To treat you the way that I should have before. But…" His voice trailed away as he let her go. "I understand if you will not let me do that now. But Jasmine, please do not think that I only married you to help me produce an heir, because that has never been true."

And with that, Lief bent his head a little, and gently kissed her forehead. For the second time in less than five minutes, Jasmine found herself blinking back tears. This was strange for her, as she rarely cried at all. But what Lief had said, together with the way he had brushed his lips against her brow, had melted her heart. It was only when he turned, and began to walk away, that Jasmine realised she had to say something.

"Lief!" She called. "You… You forgot your pack!"

Jasmine knew that what she had just said was ridiculous, but she did not know how to tell Lief the things she needed him to hear. That she did not feel that he had treated her badly that night. That perhaps she had been wrong in not asking him to help her make blood appear on their bedsheets two days earlier. And most importantly, that she wanted him to show her what else he had wanted to do with her that night.

Jasmine was relieved then, when Lief turned around and made his way back toward her. She hoped that he would not simply retrieve his pack and go, for whatever it was he had been planning to do with her made her feel a strange mix of curiosity and desire.

"Lief," Jasmine said tentatively. "What exactly is in that pack of yours? Why was it so important to you? Does it have anything to do with…" She stopped there, realising that she sounded quite stupid. Surely, the contents of Lief's pack had nothing to do with his previous plans for that evening. But Jasmine was soon proved wrong, as to her shock and amazement, Lief wordlessly placed the pack back on the grass at his feet, opened it, and pulled out a sleeping blanket.

"I knew that this would still be in here," he muttered, almost to himself. "I thought it would make things more comfortable for you."

"More comfortable?" Jasmine gasped, still in shock. "How?"

As wordlessly as he had he had removed it from the pack, Lief laid the blanket on the grass, not far from where Jasmine stood. Then, he took her hand and guided her to stand upon it.

Lief sat down on the blanket, and Jasmine did the same. For a moment, they both sat silent and still, the only sounds coming from the crickets that had just begun to call. Jasmine felt Lief put his arm around her, and instinctively, she leaned into him. Now, she could hear his heartbeat, feel the desire within him, just as it had been that night, and she wondered how it could have been possible for him to put her needs and desires before his own, and indeed, how it could be possible for him to do so now.

"You did not do anything wrong the last time we were here," she said softly. "In fact, I rather enjoyed it."

Jasmine knew that what she had just said was not considered ladylike, but she did not care. This was Lief she was talking to. Lief, who had always accepted that she did not always know the correct things to say, due to her upbringing, and would never judge anything she said. Lief was also her husband, and Jasmine now understood that if they did not communicate about things such as this, then their marriage would soon become difficult. She had learned that lesson only two days previously, when she had not asked Lief to help her to cut her wrist.

"Did you really enjoy it?" Lief asked. "Even when you bled? I thought you were in pain."

"I never said that it did not hurt," Jasmine replied. "But that did not mean that I wanted you to stop. I knew that it was going to be painful, but I also knew that the pain would go away."

"And did it?" Lief said, as though he still did not believe her.

"Of course," Jasmine answered him. "And I will not bleed again."

Jasmine felt Lief pull her even closer to him. She gasped as he reached up with his other hand, and gently stroked a lock of hair from her face. Then, he kissed her. Softly at first, as though he was still afraid of hurting her. But as Jasmine deepened the kiss, she felt the desire within Lief take over him, and his movements became rougher and more urgent. She too found herself wanting more. Gently taking his hand in her own, she placed it on the bare skin of her stomach beneath her shirt, hoping that he would move it upward and touch her as he had done the last time they were here. But when he stopped kissing her and opened his eyes, she let go of his hand, concerned that she had done something wrong.

"What?" Jasmine breathed, trying not to feel hurt by Lief's rejection.

"Not like that," Lief whispered. "Like this."

With surprising gentleness, Lief placed his hand on Jasmine's shoulder, and pushed her down so that she was lying on her back. As Lief lay down beside her, Jasmine felt him touching her belly through the fabric of her shirt. When she looked at his hand, she realised that he was slowly unbuttoning her shirt from the bottom. As her body became exposed, Jasmine gasped and shivered, filled with desire of her own.

"Are you cold, Jasmine?" Lief asked as he began to touch her, having finished unbuttoning her shirt.

"No," she gasped. Jasmine could not think of anything else she could say that would reassure him, so she began kissing him as she had been doing moments earlier. But Lief broke the kiss, gently placing a hand on her cheek.

"Let me do this," Lief whispered. "If you do not like anything I am doing, you can tell me to stop, and I promise I will."

Jasmine inclined her head slightly, unsure of what to say or do.

Lief slowly began to kiss her again, softly this time, and no longer on her mouth. Jasmine felt His lips move from her brow, to her cheeks, to her neck, and then further down. His hands seemed to be wherever his lips were not. Then, he stopped, and Jasmine felt his eyes taking in every detail of her exposed skin.

"You're beautiful," she heard Lief breathe reverently, before his lips made contact with the parts of her body that he had recently uncovered.

Jasmine found that she could not reply. Indeed, she could do nothing but lie there, helpless with love and desire as Lief's mouth continued to move with surprising tenderness over her body. Now, Jasmine knew that she wanted more. It seemed that Lief knew that too, for she felt his hands come to rest on the waistband of her leggings.

"May I?" he whispered.

"Yes," Jasmine whispered back.

Jasmine thought she knew what would happen next. But as Lief slowly and tenderly drew her leggings toward her ankles, she realised she had been wrong.

Lief continued to explore Jasmine's body with his eyes and mouth, all the while murmuring affirmations of his love for her. She felt her body quiver with every touch or kiss, and heard her own voice mingle with those of the crickets and night birds as she cried out. Jasmine had never felt anything akin to this before, and as she ran her hands through Lief's hair, she realised that this was how he had wanted her to feel the first time they had lay together, and she loved him all the more for it.

As Jasmine's blood became like liquid fire in her veins, she felt her hands grip Lief's head more tightly, and heard herself call out his name. Immediately, he stopped what he had been doing and looked up at her. She then realised that he had misinterpreted her crying out, and was once again thinking that he had done something wrong. She desperately wanted to tell him that all was well, but she found herself unable to speak. Her body still quivered, even as Lief let her go and returned to lie beside her.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Jasmine croaked. She wished she could have said more, but she still found herself unable to say anything. But Jasmine knew that very soon, she would need to say something, because Lief needed to know that he had not hurt her, now or at any time, and that he certainly had got nothing wrong.

(A/N.) Ok, I know. I said that this would only be two chapters, but now, it's going to be three. Hopefully, it stays that way, and the next chapter won't take as long to appear.