ELI'S POV

It was a cold morning and I could hear the birds chirping through the kitchen window, they seemed happy enough to be up this morning. At least someone was happy today. I shuffled through the house trying to find my dress shoes, the house was a disaster and it smelt like feet. I sighed, knowing Clare would be sick if she saw it like this. Finally I found my shoes under the couch, Adams doing I'm sure. Adam. My son. I had to go wake him up, get him dressed, comb his hair, make him breakfast, and try and ignore the confused look on his face. 'knock knock' I pushed Adam's door open, he was already awake sitting on the edge of his bed. "Hey buddy, you wanna come eat some breakfast, maybe watch a little sponge bob?" I hated sponge bob, but today I would sit through hearing that annoying laugh if it brought a smile to my sons face. Adam shook his head, "No dad that's alright." Adam looked down seeming nervous. "Buddy we gotta get moving." I walked over to him putting my hand out, he grabbed it and we began. We began going through the motions, getting dressed, combing our hair, getting in the car, and the whole time we moved in silence. Adam didn't say a word until we arrived at our destination. "Daddy is she really really in there." His voice cracked and his little hands were shaking. I put my hands over his, and I tried, I really tried to be strong for him, to hold it together but I just started crying. "Son yes, mom's body is in there, but her heart and her spirit and what we loved about mom is right here." I pressed my hand over his heart. "Adam you are what is most special about mom, she is in your heart and she will always be watching you. No matter where we go or what we do mom will be cheering us on. When you are sad, or when you are happy you can always talk to her she'll be listening. When you hear the birds chirping in the morning, that's mom singing to you. She's all around." My hands were shaking now. Was what I was saying even making true, or did I just want it to be? Adam looked at me crying himself now. "But why daddy why I don't understand, why didn't her body just stay to be with us? How is she gonna watch me without her body I don't understand!" Adam's little hands balled up into fists and he looked so angry, so confused. I knew exactly how he felt, how was I supposed to help him when I was in the same despair? "Adam mommy just got really sick and God needed her spirit with him, so he could make her feel better. Today we are just going to put mommy's body to rest, give her our best wishes for her new life in heaven, until we meet her there one day. Does any of this make sense buddy?" Adam opened his door, and mumbled "No" before shutting it. I unbuckled and walked around the car to grab his hand. I was failing, my son was hurting and nothing I said would fix it. We took our seats in the chairs in front of Clares casket. Everything flew by so fast after that, it was all a huge blur to me. I remember losing it when they announced that everything was over, and gave directions to a hall I had rented out for everyone to eat at afterwards, because that meant they were going to lower my Clare into the ground. That it was really all over, our beautiful love story. How could it be ending this way? I remember Darcy taking Adam with her because I just was a mess, and I remember Zig and Alli telling me if I needed anything they would step up, and help with Adam, but everything else was all just a blur. The cold morning had turned into the cold night, and I was now lying in the grass next to a pile of dirt. I wanted Die, I just wanted to be in the ground with her, but I promised I would take care of our boy. I would do everything I could to keep that last promise, and never break it. Adam would be fine, nothing would hurt him as long as daddy was there. "I love you. I miss you." I whimpered. I started to dose off when the birds began to chirp again. Clare was singing to me. /span/p