Title: Out Cold

Date: March 5, 2016

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be a shitload less of dead people.

I think I would have eventually told her about my reincarnation and my old name, if not for our parents showing up and finally calling for us to go home.

With knowing smiles to each other, our parents/guardians guided us home, with promises to see each other soon.

And the entire way back, I grinned like a maniac.

Maybe, just maybe, I had found someone who was like me.

Long story short: I didn't see Yugao for a long time after that first encounter.

I had been kept back by my own herbalism and chakra training, and whenever I would actually summon the will to haul my lazy arse out of the house to visit the orphanage, Yugao seemed to be out as well. I gave up after my third try. Chances are, I would probably see her again in the future, assuming neither of us died.

As it was now, I was simply gathering herbs from the woods for Hiro, since he was a cheapskate and didn't feel like paying to import plants that were "practically from our backyard", as he put it.

Consequently, Hiro had seen fit to put little ol' me to work since I lazed around the house when I wasn't studying. He'd absentmindedly handed me a blow dart with a couple of tranquilizers loaded. Upon my asking, he'd muttered something about a childhood prank war as he balanced what looked to be a dried seahorse. Since it was clear that he wasn't going to be talking coherently to me any time soon, I grabbed Hiro's small wicker basket and the little grocery list for herbs and started off towards the woods.

So here I was.

The apothecary was close to the outskirts of Konoha, so getting to the forest was pretty easy. It takes about fifteen minutes to walk there, and another ten to get to the impromptu garden Moriko had found on her way back from a mission. It wasn't really a garden, per se, but the plants in that general area were essentially the main ingredients Hiro needed. If I wanted cerbera kernels, though, I would have to go to the forest three districts over, which was a bitch to walk.

Incidentally, cerbera kernels was on the grocery list.

Swearing under my breath in dread of the long walk to come, I slipped into the woods. I like to think I was relatively silent by my standards, but to a shinobi, probably about as stealthy as a water buffalo. My feet gave the barest crunch against the crisp fallen leaves with each step.

Golden sunlight streamed through the canopy, which was far, far above me. It might have been at least a kilometer high. The smallest trees here would certainly be considered enormous back home.

It was calming; the quiet stillness of the air, undisturbed by the roars of cars and the screams of klaxons and the wailing of police sirens that I had grown so accustomed to before I died. Even the golden specks of pollen seemed to be suspended in the warm streams of sunlight, as if the serenity of the forest had trapped them in time.

I almost missed the landmarks, lost in my nostalgia: the rotted tree, the hollow trunk, the bubbling river and the clearing right next to it. I eyed the clump of lush lavender at the base of a tree, with an array of other plants around it. I knelt down and gingerly plucked at various leaves and roots.

I highly don't recommend doing this yourself. Recognizing plants generally took a keen eye and lots of studies. An extra point on a leaf could mean a totally different organism that could contain trace amounts of cyanide, which most likely wasn't what the doctor ordered (well, unless we were dealing poisons training, or when the aforementioned doctor was supplying Moriko with various darts and knives dipped in exquisite toxins). Quickly, I picked a handful of herbs from around the meadow: Hypericum, yarrow, and some Valerian root, to name a few.

I started making my way out of the area, and looked over my shoulder just for one last view. The flow of the river and the hill to the north reminded me of my mindscape. It made me feel safe—protected, somehow, the same way that a part of your hometown could feel as familiar as your own bed room.

To put it simply, the walk to the other forest was really freaking boring. I took the scenic route by using forest pathways instead of cutting through town, just to make it seem interesting, but even the dimming sunlight was losing its effects on me. I'll spare you details of the bland adventure. I hastily smoothed a sheet of parchment over the medicinal herbs in the basket, slapped on some gloves, and began piling on the poisonous flowers: Monk's Hood, cerbera kernels, hemlock, foxglove (which served as both medicinal and poisonous). I picked a bit of belladonna for my own convoluted and twisted purposes of growing some in the front yard. Moriko and Hiro had started out these little out of the way gardens as both a romantic and practical thing a few years ago—the moist and warm Konoha air just did the rest of the magic and let the plants grow. For me, however, I was lazy and didn't feel like venturing through the forest for a couple hours just to pick some flowers.

The beams of sunlight from before had faded into dim threads of light, weakly filtering through the trees. I opted to take the village home, since I didn't want to be caught in the woods at dark. Gods only knew what beasts would emerge and decide that I looked like breakfast.

The district was abuzz under the orange light of the sky. Lanterns and lightbulbs lit the area, chatter filling the space between the stores. I picked my way around the people, ducking under arms and swinging hands, all while doing my best not to drop any of my load, lest someone find one of the poisonous plants and end up dying because of me.

Diligently, I kept my eyes glued ahead of me on the road. I totally would have made it home okay, but suddenly a force crashed into me and all I saw was black.

╮(╯▽╰)╭

Irritated, I found myself on the floor. I swatted away the excess amounts of black cloth the person was wearing that draped my vision. Seriously, this person was wearing so much fabric that he could have made like, five pirate ship sails.

"Ah, sorry kid! Should have watched where I was going." Sheepishly, the other guy—who looked to be eighteen—rubbed the back of his head. I eyed him balefully, and scanned the floor for my basket. I found it a couple of feet behind me, its contents spilled on to the floor. Following the direction of my stare, the cloaked guy jumped to his feet. "Oh Kami, I did that, didn't I? Let me help!"

Gah, hearing that kami thing was weird as shit. Nope, I'll stick to my own religious blasphemy, thank you very much.

"You'd better not," I warned blandly. "Half of those plants will kill you where you stand if you don't handle them properly." He froze, his hand hovering above a sprig of water hemlock, which by all rights looked like a harmless group of white blossoms atop a thin, sturdy stem.

I gave him a thin smile, which I would imagine to be rather sinister on a four-year old. In as sweet of a voice as possible, I said, "That one would overstimulate your brain and cause a seizure. Even if you survived, you may develop a case of amnesia." Grinning inwardly at his horrified look, I got up and began gathering the herbs and replacing them into the basket. Medicinal on the bottom, and gingerly handled poisonous plants on the top.

Peeking from the curtain of hair which fell to cover my eyes, I studied the guy. He had a crown of plain coffee brown hair that stuck up from his head. His eyes were only a shade darker, wide-set and almost innocent looking. The black cloak-like thing he wore hid the rest of his body, but judging from the bone structure in his face, he was probably on the thinner side, lithe, and probably couldn't pack on excess muscles even if he tried—which was fine, since he seemed overwhelmingly average, and extra muscle would've looked strange on his lanky frame. I didn't really recognize him as a character from the series. He stood to the side awkwardly, flustered, unsure of what to make of the four year old girl with the deadpan expression.

I would like to add the fact that I'm normally not this bitchy, but I was tired from the long walk on my short legs, and still irritated that I had to position all of the herbs—again—to prevent possible contamination.

"I'm really sorry," he said, still a bit flustered. "I was on my way back from taking my jōnin exams, and I was freaking out, so I didn't really look." He chuckled nervously. "I'm Hita Sawada, by the way."

"Rin Nohara," I murmured. Nope, I definitely had no clue who he was. Probably an unimportant extra guy in the background, then. Wasn't too surprising really, with how populated Konoha was.

Hita Sawada extended his hand to help me up, as a peace offering. I accepted, clutching my basket with the other hand.

He really did seem sorry. He also seemed like an absolute dork, so I took it as my sacred duty to troll him.

"So," I hummed with mischievous delight, "the jōnin-to-be is still clumsy enough to be running into little kids, hmm?

"I said I was sorry! You try taking the jōnin exams and not freaking out!"

I grinned. "As soon as I graduate from the Academy, I will, dear Sawada-san."

Hita gave me a look. "You're an Academy student?"

"Mm, not yet. I'm applying as soon as I can."

"You know," Hita said slowly, and glanced back from the way he came, then back to me. "The Academy is actually open for new initiates, because of the tensions with the other villages. They've begun allowing applications from younger kids. Relations are getting more intense."

I blinked, absorbing this new information. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, class starts in about a week or so. You should apply, or you might end up waiting another year."

I contemplated. Sure, my schedule was kind of busy because of herbalism and chakra training with my parents, but I didn't want to possibly miss getting into the same class as all of the other relevant students/characters. Besides, I was studying one subject to the point where I was beginning to examine every strain of vegetation that I crossed, even if it was a cluster of weeds on the pathway to the rest of the districts.

"Maybe I'll go tomorrow," I decided. I looked at the direction my home was in. The sky was dark now, the street lit only by the lanterns and bright stores.

Following my line of sight, Hita asked, "Nohara-san, where are you going? Please tell me you're not on your way to go sell your poisons to a murderer. That would be really bad."

I could feel an unholy and impish grin forming. "I make no promises. I'm on my way to the Nohara Apothecary."

Hita raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that two districts over?" I shrugged.

"Well, I'd have made more progress, but I got knocked over by some idiot who wasn't paying attention." I couldn't help it. Hita was way too easy to tease.

"I said I was sorry!" He ran a hand through his hair. I watched as his tufts of hair folded under his hands before they sprang upright again. "Look, it's really dark, I'll walk you home so you don't get killed by your poison client's rival or something."

Blinking as doe-like and innocently as possible, I reached into my pocket and displayed Hiro's poison darts. "But Sawada-san, that's what these are for."

Hita stared. Then he muttered something under his breath about "crazy demonic kid who would fit in perfectly with the Spartan tutors at the Academy".

╮(╯▽╰)╭

Hita dropped me right off at home, and asked if he needed to walk me to the Academy tomorrow.

Such a gentleman he was.

I declined, citing that I was a big girl and could stab someone in the neck with a dart if they crossed me. He left, calling back that he'd be checking up on me to make sure that I hadn't inadvertently caused someone's murder.

I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but I appreciated the gesture.

Hiro wasn't the least bit surprised at how late I had come home. He gladly took my harvest and began putting them on the drying racks.

Meanwhile, I planted the belladonnas in the backyard. I opted against the front yard, just in case a kid came along and decided the purple-black berries looked delicious enough to eat.

When I pushed the blowdart set back to Hiro, he waved it off and told me to keep it. Said it might help if I was dealing with unsavory people. He restocked the darts' poison storage with a blend of ground poppy seeds and an extract of Angel's Trumpets; the former acted as a narcotic, and the latter was a potent hallucinogen, but had been diluted enough to not actually cause convulsions and kill.

Hiro was a fucking badass when it came to poisons.

When I brought up the Academy's opening, he was totally cool with it. With a mischievous grin of his own, he added that the blowdart could be put to good use to boys who might ask me on dates.

Moriko was scheduled to be out up until tomorrow, tending to a mission just on Konoha's outskirts as a medic, but Hiro figured that she would probably approve of my attending the Academy.

The next day, before going to the Academy, I left a note at the orphanage for Yugao, who would probably see it before next week.

Seriously, where the hell did she go all this time?

There wasn't much trouble there, only a seven year old boy who, while promising to give Yugao my note whenever she deigned to return home, very sternly warned me that if I had any intentions of harming her, he would come and find me. He even used his height advantage—a whole five inches—to tower over me, totally adding to the intimidation factor.

No, really. I was quaking in my sandals.

I proceeded to head over to the Academy. The walk was a long and tedious thing, but walking felt easier here. Maybe it was the practice of always treading through forest paths, but my feet didn't seem to drag on the packed-down dirt roads the way they did in my last life. I assumed the excess chakra in everything made things easier, but I'd have to find a way to look into that later.

Really, I would very much love to say that my first visit to the Academy was a most interesting experience, that there was some magical experience and on my way there I somehow met Madara Uchiha, or like, Jesus. But that would be a lie.

In reality, it was a dull walk to a fairly informal folding table situated outside of the front entrance. Two bored chūnins sat at the desk, their backs hunched and their eyes lazy. They idly chatted, barely even glancing at me as they passed over the admissions form.

Seriously? Back in my old world, you had to be freaking eighteen, but here a bloody four year old could sign up all willy-nilly?

Social security here sucks ass.

I scrawled out and completed most of the student info portion before I realized I'd wrote a good deal of in in sloppy English letters. Scowling, I tore up the paper before the chūnins could see the English writing, and snatched another paper and filled it in with my even sloppier Japanese. Signing the bottom of the form with a shaky signature, I straightened, dumped the packet of papers in the bin, and went about my way.

So no, I did not, in fact, have a magical time at the Academy, nor did I really run into anyone spectacular on my way there.

I did, however, run into someone spectacular on my way back.

"What the actual fuck," I snarled from my place on the ground. Yep, ladies and gentlemen, I had quite literally run into someone, cliché as it was. What can I say, I really did have a talent for getting hit by things; people, branches, cars…

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" For a minute, I almost thought it was Hita Sawada, since the voice was so flustered and panicky. But no, it was higher-pitched, and there was more terror in his voice then there ought to have been, and Hita certainly wasn't that short. I squinted at the offending human.

There, also having been knocked flat on his back, was Obito Uchiha.

I can tell you, never have I cursed anyone more than the fanfiction writer of the universe at that very moment.

Obito looked different in real life. Sure, he had his ridiculous orange goggles, though they were still far too large for his tiny face at the moment. They hung like a huge, supersized necklace, which constantly obstructed his chin. His face, much like mine, was loaded with baby fat. Soft, fine tufts of dark hair was still growing from his head, quite like Hita's. His eyes, no matter what the manga/anime/anyone else would tell you (I look to you, Universe Fanfiction Writer), weren't a deep fathomless onyx, they were a deep, dark brown, only shades above black.

Those very eyes, the eyes that were meant to cause the end of the world, were luminous with tears of pain and distress.

Obito stammered, "I-I-I'm so sor-sorry!"

I found that even I couldn't glower and curse at him. He was simply too much of a cinnamon roll; that is to say, he was too good, to pure for this world.

Instead, I picked myself up, and dusted off the dirt from the packed road. I stepped over, and offered him my hand.

Obito stared at the hand as though it was a foreign object he'd never seen before in his life. At that point, I didn't really see him as one of the two boys who would basically define my future, but I saw a little neglected kid with far too many expectations piled on his shoulders. Really, someone like him should only have his giant goggles to weigh him down.

I spied a crinkled sheet of paper in his grasp, and barely recognized it as the admissions form for the Academy. I quirked a smile of amusement.

"You might want to hurry up," I mused. His eyes flicked up to my face in confusion. I added, "The Academy administration session ends soon."

The poor boy's eyes widened with panic before he cried, " I have to go! Ah, what if they don't believe me when I tell them that a black cat crossed my path and I had to come from the longer route?"

Obito continued his long, long rant of things that could go wrong, from his soul being cursed by the black cat, or that he'd never be a shinobi and be a disappointment to his clan.

I tapped him on the shoulder. "Er, instead of panicking, maybe you should just…" I gestured towards the building.

His eyes locked on the building. "Right! Sorry again!" He set down the path, kicking up a trail of dust in the air.

I swear, I've never seen anyone run that fast.

With a dismissive shrug, I turned and began walking home.

Fuck that, I didn't feel like doing any more fate-deciding today.

*winces* Okay. I know that you all waited a long time for this, and I know it's kinda sorta disappointing. But before you guys throw various heavy and painful objects at me, I would like to say that I totally have excuses!

1. School. I just got outta it, and am now totally free for another six months before I begin attending university. But ugh, exams, and huge projects were just generally painful and time-consuming.

2. I got my first job back in November, which basically just ate all of my time. I work in a tea store~ [insert cutesy sterotypical Asian pose here]. Lots of fun, but very, very detrimental to my free-time schedule.

3. Art portfolio. Gah, I just finished that in the last week of February, but good God, I hope all that trouble was worth it.

4. Writer's block. I'm pretty sure I had written out the first half of this like, three months ago? Four months? It's just, I never knew what to do for this chapter, and even now I still find it more or less bland. But hey, at least it got the job done and introduced the needed characters, ne~? There shall most certainly be more from Obito and dear Hita Sawada, trust me.

Ugh, generally I try aiming for about 5,000 words per chapter, but it's been killing me slowly on the inside to even try to stretch this. Currently it stands at approximately 3,290 words (not including A/N). So I'll leave it here, and desperately attempt to finish the next chapter soon, now that I have so much free time~

Anyway! Next time, on Out Cold~ The Academy. It's coming.

Question: What eats up all of your free time? I'm sure I'm not the worst-case out there.

Review, 'cause it's my birthday in a week~!