Chapter 60

Adventures of the Melee – He's Leaving Home

Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10

Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4

Early August - August 16

As the days unfolded, Amelia's post-op pain lessened and her stamina increased. Grieving the baby was easily set aside as she focused on running the house during Lynne's vacation. Owen, who leaned into the pain of the ectopic pregnancy regularly, wondered if he was grieving on behalf of both parents. Although he never voiced his sadness, bringing Amelia home with empty arms devastated him. For her part, Amelia never spoke about the pregnancy loss.

With Amelia limited to short outings and efforts, Owen found himself responsible for most of the Back to School tasks. To their delight, he took the twins to buy their school uniforms. As soon as they arrived home, both Ria and Anna wanted to model the outfits for their mommy. Ria begged to sleep in her uniform until school began and Anna wanted to know if she could add a sequined cape to hers.

When left behind with Amelia, each of the kids developed a unique routine. Olivia would snuggle up to Amelia. Together, they'd flip through the latest People or Us Weekly, and Olivia would ooh and aah over the beautiful actresses in their amazing clothes. Ryder would share whatever new tidbit he'd learned about aircraft. Amelia had no doubt that his long-standing fascination with flying would somehow lead to a career as a pilot. With Lissa's help, Ria had begun to read simple words. When left with her mommy, Ria was eager to read and learn more words so she could read even more. Anna, on the other hand, preferred to tell stories she would make up in her head. Her vivid descriptions captivated all who listened, and her storylines nearly always featured Anna herself as the heroine. Lucas and puppy varied their routines. At times, snuggling was at the top of the priority list. At other times, pretending like Amelia's body was a racetrack meant that hot wheels would roll along her arms, legs and head. Nolan had his special moments with Amelia as well, although those times were becoming rare the closer his departure date came.

One night, after all the others were asleep, Nolan strolled downstairs and planned to sit outside alone. Leaving the house that had been his home for six years was weighing on him. Soon, he would be in an unfamiliar city in a small room with people he didn't know all around him. More than he expected, Nolan found himself anticipatorily grieving his surroundings.

Reflecting on memories from each space, Nolan wandered around the various rooms on the lower level before stepping outside to the porch. Settling in to an Adirondack chair, he closed his eyes and filled his lungs with the scents of the river and pine trees. He came up short as he attempted to imagine what it would be like to return home at Thanksgiving. His older friends had shared how strange it had been for them. In the months away, independence had become normal; then, returning for the first time, everyone fumbled to discover a new normal. He wandered to himself, Will it be that way with Lissa? I've heard people say that very few high school relationships stay together once college enters the picture. But really? I can't imagine being with anyone but Liss.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Amelia offered softly as she approached Nolan.

"Hey, Mom," Nolan smirked. "Nothing really, just wondering what it will be like once I leave."

Grimacing and folding her arms, Amelia quipped, "Oh yeah… that topic is no big deal whatsoever."

Chuckling, Nolan motioned his head to the chair beside his. Amelia sat down and smiled at Nolan as if she was taking in one of her last glimpses of him. She set her hand, palm open, on the wide arm rest and wiggled her fingers.

Her son grasped her hand in his as he questioned, "You're the brain surgeon here, tell me how I can take some of this view and these smells with me."

Laughing, Amelia shrugged, "Perhaps that's your challenge to figure out. I can see the headlines now," Amelia imagined and joked with starry eyes and gesturing arms, "Brilliant Son of Two Surgeons Discovers How to Transplant a Slice of Home Wherever He Goes."

"That's a long headline," Nolan chuckled.

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The night before he left, Nolan carried a box of sentimental knick knacks and picture frames downstairs and out to the Jeep. The family picture from Lucas' birth, one of his senior pictures where Lissa was draped playfully over his shoulder, and the last picture of Kayla and Blake taken before Blake's untimely and unexpected death were among the prized photos that would accompany him to school.

When Nolan came back into the house, Amelia quietly called out, "Hey, Nole."

"Mom," he responded with surprise, "Shouldn't you be asleep?" Nolan walked over to the couch and sat next to Amelia.

"All I do is sleep. Half the time, I'm awake all night because I've slept so much during the day," she explained in a matter-of-fact way.

"That must suck," Nolan considered. "How are you feeling otherwise?"

Once again dismissing her grief, Amelia shrugged, "I'm fine. Really, the pain isn't too bad most of the time. The worst part is that I become exhausted easily."

"Yeah," Nolan nodded, unsure what else to say. After a brief pause, he added, "I'm bummed you can't come with us tomorrow."

Smirking, Amelia agreed, "Me too. I was really looking forward to releasing my baby bird into the big skies of LA."

Laughing, Nolan opined, "That's a weird metaphor, Mom. Besides, you really want me up in the air in LA? Wouldn't I be exposed to more smog that way?"

"Very funny," Amelia quipped as she shoved her son. She studied his face and smiled as he made eye contact. "Are you ready? Scared? Stoked?"

"Yeah, yeah, and yeah," Nolan chuckled. "It's weird. I want to go but I don't want to leave everything."

"Been there," Amelia resonated. "This will always be your home, though, Nolan. We won't change the locks, I promise."

With a laugh, Nolan responded, "Glad to hear that." He lowered his chin and studied his hands that were folded together on his lap. Slowly twiddling his thumbs and pressing them against one another, Nolan became lost in his thoughts.

With her heart aching, Amelia let the silence linger as Nolan pondered. After a minute or two, she voiced, "You're really going to miss Lissa."

Without raising his head, Nolan wiped a tear from his eye as subtly as he could manage and eeked out a weak, "Yeah."

Leaning over, Amelia curled her arm around her broad-shouldered son and rested her cheek on his shoulder. She whispered, "She's going to miss you, too."

With a huff, Nolan responded, "Yeah… I wish I could take her with me."

"I know," Amelia affirmed. While she so readily denied and dismissed her own pain, Amelia was strangely comfortable allowing others to dwell in and process theirs. Wanting to reassure him without dismissing his reality, Amelia pointed out, "She can come visit you and you'll be home at Christmas. Think of your reunions as rewards for all the hard work you'll do at school."

Nolan leaned his head on the top of Amelia's and chuckled. "I'm gonna miss this, Mom. This crazy and loud house, the frenzy of life with so many kids, quiet talks with you…" he paused and laughed, "I might even miss arguing with Dad."

"Aww…we can make sure to call so you guys can argue over the phone now and then," Amelia teased. The two sat together in silence, listening to the sounds of the lake that came through the open windows. Eventually, Nolan excused himself to load his last few boxes. There would be little time to load anything in the morning since Owen was insisting on leaving promptly at 6:30am to avoid both Seattle and Portland rush hour traffic. When the Major set a time expectation, all were expected to heed it.

When morning came, Amelia forced herself to wake up so she could say goodbye to the travelers. Nolan had said his goodbyes to his siblings the previous night. The reactions ranged from a fist pump with Ry to full-blown tears from Ria. Relieved those goodbyes were completed, Nolan yawned as he took Lissa's bags down to the Jeep and dutifully checked his watch. It was 6:25am.

Amelia sat on a barstool watching the last minute frenzy as Owen and Nolan sped back and forth. Lissa was upstairs styling her hair for the trip. She'd awoken at 5:30 so she'd have plenty of time to get ready for sitting in the car all day. Nobody else understood it, but they all honored her wishes.

"We're out of here," Owen declared with a grimace as he fretfully looked at Amelia. "Lynne will be back from vacation this afternoon. Mer assured me it was no problem at all if you need to call her for help before that. You'll be ok?"

Smiling, Amelia promised, "I'll be fine. Ryder and Livs can help out if I need anything. Drive safe." As she kissed her husband goodbye, she wrapped her arms around him. Losing two babies within a month would hit hard as soon as she was left alone.

Owen kissed her forehead, cheeks and earlobes repeatedly, promising, "I'll call tonight when we get to UCSF. Call me if you need me before then."

Lissa and Nolan descended the stairs and approached Amelia. Looking like she was ready for the prom, Lissa looked adorable with full makeup and her hair in a messy updo that had taken over a half hour to master. Going first, Lissa hugged Amelia and shared, "I wish you were coming, too, Amma."

"Me too, sweetie. I'll see you in a few days," Amelia responded. Tears welled in Amelia's eyes as Nolan stood in front of her.

"See ya, Mom. Love you," Nolan offered casually as he hugged Amelia.

Amelia leaned back and held Nolan's shoulders as she looked in his eyes, "Study hard."

"I will," Nolan smirked.

"And make wise choices," she instructed.

"I will," Nolan smiled.

"And have fun…but not too much fun," she insisted.

"Ok," Nolan chuckled as he hugged her again. While embracing, Nolan whispered, "I love you, Mom."

Amelia kissed Nolan's cheek as he pulled away. His movement felt as if someone was ripping her heart out of her chest. Unconsciously, as tears streamed down her cheeks, Amelia placed her hand over her heart as if doing so would contain the pain.

Owen, Nolan, and Lissa headed toward the door and Amelia slid off the barstool and followed them. She stepped onto the porch and walked with them on the sidewalk, stopping at the edge of the driveway. Amelia watched Owen pull out in his Boxster and blew him a kiss. With quivering lips and a simultaneous smile, she took in every moment as she focused on Nolan opening the Jeep door for Lissa, walking around to the driver's side, and backing out of the driveway. With one hand on her heart and the other waving goodbye, Amelia sniffled and was determined not to break down until Nolan's Jeep was through the main gate.

Following each rotation of the tires, Amelia observed the Jeep driving away. Once the gate closed behind it, she walked to the front steps, sat down, and sobbed into her hands. Having awoken to the sounds of the cars pulling out, Ryder had walked downstairs and peered through the front door window as the trio departed. He stood inside as he watched Amelia say goodbye. When she sat down on the front step and began to cry, he quietly stepped outside, put his arm around his mom, and held her as the tears fell.

The End

Please read the next book in the series, A Pivotal Year.