Rock out to Old School

Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan

I'm getting sick of this. The betrayal, constant fighting and the cheese burgers. I think I'm becoming bored with them. I was reunited with my father, the all-powerful Poseidon. And he acted like I didn't even exist. He looked worried, and it looked liked it hurt him not to meet my eyes. These plots were running deeper. It seemed to be Kronos's doing, the deception upon deception. But this was different. Zeus was acting recklessly, but still ceaselessly. Hades had readied himself and made the alliances he thought was necessary. His and Zeus's armies were ready. My father was the real mystery. His move was yet to be made. The unpredictable sea god. Every god was ready. And in the end there wasn't a god left to trust. Back to my life!

Zeus turned and deftly went to pay Jude. Alex stood up along with Oranos. Mr. D also came closer. He looked a lot better than he usually did. He could make himself look incredible, but he chose not to. Or maybe he just wanted his form to match his personality. I never asked him. Maybe he was just one of those look like no one is watching types.

"Well guys, while you guys risk your lives trying to take down Luke, me and Oranos have to go and spend some time with Hades" said Alex. "Fill Oranos in on every thing that happened in the last one hundred thousand years."

"That may take some time," I said.

"It may," said Alex, eyes flashing dangerously. "But it's our sworn duty as the lords of fire of time and fire respectively, as the warrior who are , even now striving to save humanity. As titans. And besides, you're going back to camp so we have time to kill."

"And where better to kill it than the land of the dead," said Oranos. "But seriously. The time difference between the dead and the living was created by me. I can control it exactly like I please. That's why I always got time" Okay it's official. The next person to make a joke like that will be skewered upon their own spine. Ha! Ha! Who's the king of violent imagery?

Mr. D stepped over to us. "Hello kids," said Mr. D, looking kind and pleasant. You may note I seem kind and pleasant. Spooky! That was right on! "Well, you are wrong. I'm my usual bitter misery loving self. Isn't that a hoot?" asked Mr.D

"Not really," said Annabeth. Weird. She probably wasn't into the vibe of enjoying other's misery.

"You may be right!" said Mr. D. "But there's a small problem with your theory. You are wrong. Anyways, I'm here to take you back to Camp Half Blood for mission prep."

"I would say we are leaving you in good hands but we aren't," said Alex. "Look!" he said, pointing at Mr.D's hands. "Probably never even heard of moisturizers."

"Complaints of the state of my hands notwithstanding, they're coming with me," said Mr. D "Come on kids. To my SUV."

"No way" said Thalia, crossing her hands across her chest. "No way am I driving in that Ozone destroying machine." Thalia was an environmentalist? I must say, I did not see that coming. Actually I can't actually say, because these are my sarcastic inner driven thoughts and, Ah. You probably know what I mean.

Mr. D sighed and Alex cringed while Oranos looked merely curious.

"I'm sorry, but global warming doesn't really exist," said Alex. "You see, after one of D's parties Helios, the sun god got drunk. Unfortunately he went a little crazy with the whole, giving light to the planet thing. He burned right through the ozone layer and would've destroyed the entire earth if not for Apollo. He sobered Helios up. Used something called milk. No idea what that is. Unluckily for us Helios wasn't entirely focused afterwards and wound up blowing up the Hindenburg."

"So basically global warming is a lie?" asked Thalia, looking dumbstruck. One of these days I'm going to have to get Alex to tell me history from the god's point of view. It should be funny.

"Yeah," said Alex. "We screwed up pretty badly. But one day we'll make things right. Well, gotta go," said Alex, and he and Oranos left. I'm pretty sure Alex was telling the truth. He would try to make things right.

Mr. D SUV wasn't really comfortable. We were all forced to sit in the back seat and Annabeth was squashing me into the car door. Leave it to the god of wine to actually reengineer his car just so that we would be extremely uncomfortable.

Annabeth looked at me. "Percy, I have a question" she said. "If you like a girl, how would you let her know?"

Ohhhh, this called for a smoothness beyond gravy. I crossed my legs and put my hands on my knees. Which felt weird in the jeans I was wearing. Now gents, listen closely. Or read closely. Or whatever. "Annabeth, prepared to be shocked by the sheer smoothness in my actions," I began. "Yawn," I said and put my arm around Annabeth. Note: I didn't actually yawn. I just said Yawn. As an actual word.

"Right," said Annabeth blushing slightly but still grinning.

"When you two are done flirting can you please stop breathing? All this air is bad for my complexion," said Mr. D.

"Oh shut up D," said Thalia irritably. I didn't actually attempt to remove my arm, but I did lower my level of smoothness. Annabeth didn't really seem to mind. Damn. I thought the smoothness was a nice touch. "Your name is too Hip Hop for me D" said Thalia. "Speaking of which can you put some music on?" asked Thalia hopefully.

"Sure," said Mr. D and smiled. Oh No. Someone is about to become extremely miserable then. "Here's some old school for you" said Dionysus and placed a cd in his Cd player. Oh No. Me and Annabeth might survive but Thalia was doomed. The dreaded music of-

"No!" yelled Thalia. "Not Duran Duran!"

"You know, being nice is really hard work," said Mr. D conversationally. "I went to Hades and asked what music you liked. He said Heavy Metal. But unfortunately I didn't have time to go browsing. So I just grabbed the album he said he would play if you ever came to the fields of the punishments."

"Percy," said Thalia weakly. "I don't think I'm going to make it . You can have my Cd's. And Annabeth can have my.."

"Okay , if it'll stop your whining I will change the band," said Mr. D. Thalia sat up, looking beter. Color returned to the world. Somewhere, somewhere close, Smells like teen spirit was playing. The world was at peace. "You'll enjoy this! The Bee Gee's!" said Mr. D. Thalia fell back. The world returned to darkness. Somewhere, somewhere close, the Bee Gee's were playing. Oh Crap. It was coming from the speakers! No!

We arrived at camp, hollowed and defeated. Mr. D came and addressed us joyfully. "Kids, Kids. I feel like were family now. You're annoying and I hate you but I can't kill you. Just like the family. Now you had well planned , well written objectives, but I lost them. So I'm afraid all I can offer you is this Duran Duran CD."

"Please tell me you are kidding," said Annabeth. I like that girl. So much faith.

"Of course I'm kidding!" said Mr. D . "I also have this nifty Bee Gee's cd for you"

"Can you at least tell us what exactly we are supposed to do?" I asked. Of course, you may be asking why I'm trying to get information that good lead to my death. Of course what I can do, is tell them I defeated the titans, hope nothing happens for three years and then backstab the gods. Subtle, yet refined.

Mr. D smiled. "Alright, here's your objectives. You have to infiltrate the Princess Andromeda , avoid the hordes of monsters, hypnotized mortals, traitorous half bloods and the mortal with the power that is three times greater than Zeus's. Then all you have to do is destroy the sarcophagus's main red jewel. Or just trash the whole thing. But make sure that jewel is smashed. And make sure none of it comes on you." he said.

"Why can't any of the jewel pieces come on me?" I asked. I wasn't really worried about the afore mentioned hordes of monsters. If I was right, there would be nothing to avoid.

"Because mortal" said Mr. D. "That jewel is actually an diamond in which Luke and Kronos's blood are mixed. It is the way Kronos is giving his power to Luke. But more importantly, while Kronos was laying in Tartarus he could've gotten any sort of disease. If the blood touches you, you could get Aids or something. On second thought, make sure the blood touches you" said Mr. D.

"Right," said Thalia irritably. "When to we go?" she asked. Ah. Someone wants some vengeance. I don't know why, but I have a sudden craving for popcorn. Weird.

"Now" said Mr. D "Here's what you need. The blueprints to the Princess Andromeda, a long sword for Annabeth, seeing as she carelessly lost her knife and a chair, in case you get tired and need to sit down."

"Please," I said. "In the name of all gods, titans and monsters even the one I don't like, tell me your joking." I know the guy was disturbed but this is ridiculous.

"You are right," said Mr. D. "Were the hell are we going to get the blueprints of the ship? Yeesh!" You think things can't get worse, but they can.

That was officially the second worse mission prep in my life. The last one which was before my so called "greatest" quest was far worse. But that's life. One minute you are a hero, the next you are some lame side kick called Ron. Yup, it sucks. Anyways, we calmly walked through the dunes towards the lake. I started walking into the water, which was kinda difficult.

"Percy, take the damn chair of your back," said Thalia. Fine. But it did seem like a practical idea at the time.

"Percy, I have a question," said Annabeth. "If your father can't help you, who are you going to be praying to?"

That made sense. Fortunately my dad wasn't the only one with sea power. "Lord Hades, hear my call," I began. There was blind faith, and there was hoping. I had no idea what Hades would send, or if he would even send anything.

Annabeth's eyes were wide. "Percy you know that only the dead obey Hades, right?" she asked. Damn logic.

"One day I would find the god of logic, I would find out what he has against me, and then I would choke him with his overly long hair," I said.

"Logically that plan would require the god to have long hair," said Annabeth. Okay, that god is doomed. I don't care if he can't die, I'll kill him until he does die from it. Unluckily for me, we were interrupted. A long, old and very dead looking raft popped out of the water.

"Hello," said a dead skeleton who was standing on the raft. "May I say sir and madam look lovely?" he asked.

Oh crap. As I later found out, Charon had decided to branch out. He started a multi level business which involved transporting mortals and gods around. If you were stuck in the recording room without American Express you could work it off in his business.

"Right," I said. "Me and the madam, as well as Thalia need to get to the Princess Andromeda. What do you charge for that kind of thing?" I asked.

"Two drachmas," said the skeleton without a pause.

Right. Next time I was praying to a god which sent free transportation. "I'm afraid all I have is this chair," I said, beckoning the nice chair.

"I said Drachmas, not a chair," said the skeleton angrily. This was going to require stealth. The guy had a pouch of Drachmas on his belt. So I did what any sensible person would do. I punched his head of his body and quickly removed two drachmas from the pouch.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?" yelled the skeleton.

"You have a very punchable face," I said, handing him the two drachmas.

"Right," said the skeleton. "Now kids, close your eyes and kiss yourselves goodbye. I was a taxi driver in my life and this raft has no limits." Why couldn't the god of logic help me now?

We sped along the ocean reaching speeds of up to seven hundred knots per hour. Ah. I have more knowledge on the sea than anyone else. Too bad I don't know what the hell a knot is. We slowed down. Thalia and Annabeth looked seasick. Well, it was about to get a lot worse. The Princess Andromeda was standing before us. Believe me when I say you never want to attract the wrath of the sea god when you are on a boat. Cause he can do so much more than I'm about to do. I lifted my hand calmly and twisted. I could almost feel the waves moving through me, ready to obey my, oh so stylish will.

"You should have accepted the chair," I said coldly and used the waves the hurl the raft on top of the ship. Thalia looked down at her hands. The chains started to expand, and she drew her own rather thin blade. Annabeth lifted her own sword. I guess her mom sent her the sword. It looked like it was designed just for her.

"You know I'm going to have to charge you extra for this," said the skeleton angrily. Foolish ex-mortal! Not even the dead are safe from Timmy! Oh. I suddenly realized how lame that sounded. I'm going to have to rename that sword.

I drew Riptide and Timmy. "I'm sorry skeleton guy, but you have to die. Again," I said and slashed him with Timmy. Yup. That sounds really bad.

"So Seaweed brain, how are you going to get these guys to look the other way?" asked Annabeth.

"I'm going to get creative," I said. I stood at the front of the ship, ripping off Titanic. It's times like these I really glad I don't get sea sick. The sea started churning beneath the ship, causing it to slow down. I literally reversed the current. Soon they would be forced to turn and. Hmm. That was quick. See, If the current reverses unto itself it would form a "freak wave" If they are turning I can smash the entire side of the ship in. By the way, those sea documentaries are wrong. Freak waves are not formed by the rapid absorption of energy through waves fusing them together and forming a new super wave. No. Super waves are formed by either me or my dad being pissed. In the sense of being drunk or very angry.

"Percy, what the hell are you doing?" yelled Thalia. Surprisingly not many people are used to or enjoy watching a thirty foot tall wall of water bash into a ship. Especially if they're on the ship. By the time I was down, I got shouted at four times and slapped twice.

"If you are so smart who are we going to get off the ship before it sinks?" demanded Annabeth. Hmm. She sounded angry. Must be the sea sickness.

"I created a whirlpool. See, this way the water enters the ship, gets sucked out and then reabsorbed back into the current. The current then goes into the whirlpool and repeats the process," I explained.

"Do you have any idea what you've just said?" asked Annabeth.

"No, but that didn't stop me from saying it," I said.

"Whatever guys," said Thalia. "In case you haven't noticed we're on a quest here." Hey! We were having a moment there. Bad Thalia! No XP points for you!

"Right!" I said. "To Luke's chamber of evil!" We ran towards Luke's room. For some reason no one stopped us. Maybe we thought we would get away. Maybe we thought they were all looking the other way. Either way, we did not notice him following us.

We ran into Luke's stateroom, ready to destroy a defenseless sarcophagus. The sarcophagus still glowed but it now longer shined. Almost as if it's power was. First logic. Now more lightning fast connections. It's obvious that the day before tomorrow isn't my day. "Hello Luke" I said turning around slowly.

Luke has looked better. Letting a Titan's power flow through your body is obviously not good for your complexion. "Luke, are you wearing make up?" I asked. To sum up Luke's appearance at this time. His sandy hair had turned a weird tobacco ash color. His face had a couple of more scars. There was also long, deep and black grooves in his arms. Like cuts that had been half healed and then re opened. But the worst was this. Using Kronos's power had killed something deep inside of Luke. His fashion sense. He was wearing black jeans with an unbuttoned plaid shirt over a white vest. Thalia summed it up.

"What happened to you Luke?" asked Thalia. "You look like you escaped from 1995 Dawson's Creek."

Luke smiled evilly. "Thalia, you have no idea what happened. I now control enough power to remove the gods from their throne. When I've been granted immortality I will be able to alter my appearance at will" Luke calmly walked around the room. He had no guards. Nor do I think he needed any.

"Can't you see this is killing you?" asked Annabeth. Her voice cracked slightly. "He is just using you!"

Luke's answering smile was even wider. "You really have no idea?" He said looking at us as if waiting for us to say Ha! We do know! "Oh. I thought that even Percy would've figured it out by now! But no. Kronos was right. Percy you are really disappointing me here. But enough of this unpleasantness. We must, talk" said Luke and snapped his fingers. Servants came in with several plates of food. "Don't worry Percy. I fixed the boat. You have nothing to worry about." Except Luke's ability to cook. Could be dangerous.

"Do really think we're dumb enough to eat that?" asked Thalia. She had a point there. That he would poison us is unlikely. If he wanted to he could rip us apart by simply snapping his fingers. Besides, it wasn't Luke's style. What we were worried about was that he would throw some sort of mind controlling potion or other drugs. Maybe even MSG.

Luke blew some grey hair out of his eyes. "You will eat or you will die. I'm not planning on forcing you to join me. When you do, it will be willingly. I'm not here to kill or negotiate. I'm only here to explain the facts to you. Maybe you don't really know. So far only Hades and Alex know for sure. And no other god will believe them."

Annabeth sat on a chair and picked up a piece of garlic bread. "And what is it don't we know?" she asked. Me and Thalia were still standing. Eating Luke's cooking would be inhuman. And while I'm a half-blood, I can still die.

Luke smiled for a moment, as if in thought. Or maybe he was receiving orders from Kronos. "The sea god's corruption runs far deeper than you will ever know. He sure waited long enough. It's all in good time. Unfortunately, you will have to suffice with this. Percy, tell me where we are." said Luke.

"Somewhere in the ocean," I said. "Heading towards New York." The first guess was spot on. With the whole, we are on the ocean thing. The second one required my powers.

"Percy. you must feel free to eat," said Luke and tapped insistently on the table. "Things can get worse for you if you don't."

I can't sit down," I said. "I lost my chair."

"I am tired of your game," said Luke. "See, I have something called ultimate power. And I will now use it." He raised his hand. I was lifted off the ground, choking slightly.. Wait! Why does this seem familiar? Oh shit, he was using the force! Oh, wait. He had Kronos's power. Right. For a second there I was worried. Now all that was left was to succumb to the mind numbing pain. Ow!

"Killing you Percy, will be such a waste. However, if you don't eat I will torture you for the next two years." He flicked his hand. A cupboard full of torture devices opened. Maces, cleavers, pikes, small natives of an island nation, pepper, nothing too shocking was inside the cupboard.

I fell on my feet and took a seat next to Annabeth. She looked really shocked. Thalia still stood by impassively.

"I'm doing my best to be a gracious host here. Thalia, you may take a seat." said Luke. Thalia sat down but she didn't eat anything. Which wasn't a good move. Evil Luke may have been but he was also an awesome cook. Or maybe he just ordered the food from the kitchen.

"Thalia, I'm still trying to understand you here. When we were on the run together you hated your Father. You wanted to kill him. A foolish notion but something you wanted to do. Why are you siding with him now?" asked Luke. Another proof of Kronos's possession of Luke. The overly long words he used.

"Think of it logically," said Thalia. No! For the love all things, no! "You plan to destroy civilization. If civilization is destroyed, what the hell am I going to do for fun? There will be no rock music, no computers, movies, malls or people with actual intelligence. What the hell am I going to do? " she asked.

Luke looked shocked for a moment. "Thalia, you will be an actual goddess. You will have everything you can possibly want. You can recreate the entire art of music and remove the genre's you dislike! You can rebuild everything like you want it to be!" said Luke.

Thalia crossed her arms. "Luke, the Titans don't share power. Not really. As soon as Kronos is back, he will kill you and throw you in the Field of Punishment. Food and entertainment is all we ever were to them!" said Thalia angrily. She may have been angry at the Gods, but she hated the Titans more.

"Right. I was wondering why Kronos thought Percy would be better for this. Now I see he was right. We are heading towards New York. Percy, can you guess why we are going there?" asked Luke.

"You are going to walk upon Olympus, granting the titans the power they need to free themselves," said Annabeth. Hey! Her name isn't Percy. Well neither is mine, but that isn't the point!

"Correct. As Lord Kronos's essence is within me, the god's power will be broken. In the age to come only the ruthless will survive. All others will fall back into the ashes of the monstrosity we cal Western Civilization," answered Luke.

"Question," I said. "What will happen to eastern civilization after western civilization is destoyed?" I had always wondered about that.

"Shit!" yelled Luke. "We forgot that there is an Eastern civilization! What are we going to do now?"

"You actually forgot about half the planet in your evil plan to take over the world?" asked Annabeth.

"Our planning never really went past...then it will have to be retained. Suddenly it all makes sense," said Luke, probably deep in thought. "Of course, of course, that's why he didn't want us to attack from there." Luke looked up. "It appears you found a hole in our plan. No matter. It makes no real difference."

"Lord Luke," came a voice from the intercom. "We are approaching the coast of New York."

"Uh, Luke, I know you have immortal powers and everything, but they won't be of any use to you at the gates. Your powers won't work there," I said. Note: It was an after effect of the battle of the giants. Kronos, being the titan of fertilization needed to be in contact with the earth to gain full power. All titans worked this way. But, more importantly, the gates were designed so that, unless you were recognized as a inhabitant of the mountain., you lost your godliness at the gate. And of course, the gate's guardian was none other than Hercules. Who is really tough. The strongest half blood ever. And he is now immortal, though not a god.

Luke smiled and snapped his fingers. Ropes of lightning appeared around Thalia and Annabeth. "Percy, I'm not going to take on Hercules. You are."

"Uh, no offense, but he is fully grown and the deadliest half-blood who ever lives. We aren't close to the sea so he'll rip me apart" I said.

"That's the plan Percy," said Luke. "That's the plan."