AN: So, how did Kei meet the Whitebeard Pirates in this universe?

(This is a part of the Ocean Stars Falling AU offshoot, where Naruto, Gaara, and our beetle superhero Fu land on Dawn Island during the ASL bros' childhood.)

The opening scene takes place a while after Kei gets settled on Dawn Island.

The next scene is a flashback to her first arrival in the New World.

The last scene takes place within a day after her arrival on Dawn, where she decided to kill Bluejam offscreen in front of Outlook III. To establish dominance.

"I wanted to ask you something," Ace said one day, in Kei's clearing with his pipe slung across his back and his arms crossed, more defensive than trying to start a fight.

The turtle-toting woman still wasn't in Fū's good books, but Naruto and Gaara loved her. Luffy would latch onto anyone who lived on Mt. Colubo for long enough and wasn't cruel to his brothers, so his judgment was definitely in question. Especially when food-based bribes were so close at hand all the time. Sabo was more cautious, but it'd been a whole month without unwarranted punches to the head from an adult and he'd started to drop his guard. He wasn't as wary as Ace was, ever, but he was closer.

Ace wasn't sure what he thought. The first adult to brush off his concerns about being Roger's son was still a bit of a mystery, even now, but not so much that Ace couldn't come up here alone while the others kept Luffy distracted. With that bloodthirsty first impression well out of the way, and the second one knocked out of reality by someone who could take Gramps's punches, that just left this awkward, intermittent caretaker.

"Okay," said Kei, up to her elbows in what's going to be their group's dinner tonight. Under the work table, Isobu lurked like a grumpy footstool. "Do you mind if I keep working?"

According to Naruto, the vaunted Kei didn't spend much of her time dressing wild game before arriving on Dawn Island. The huge alligator lying in fifteen pieces all around the clearing would beg to differ, probably. Sabo even made a deal with her a while back for all the pelts and skins of the beasts everyone hunted, just because it never seemed like she had any use for them. The ASL brothers got money and food, and Kei got…to not deal with animal skins?

It was probably a win-win situation, somehow.

"Go ahead," said Ace, and just made sure he was outside of the potential splash zone. "You might wanna keep chopping anyway. Fū promised to keep Luffy running around all day. You know how they are."

"I'll take your word for that, then." She slammed her cleaver down on the stump she'd been using as a knife block. "Go ahead and ask whatever you need to ask, Ace."

"That thing you did with Bluejam and Sabo's dad." Ace paused as Kei's swings slowed for a moment, watching her reaction with ice rolling down his spine. Then, as the tempo of butchering returned to normal, he said, "I want to learn how to do it."

Kei scooped the hash she'd made out of alligator tail into a waiting bucket with the flat of the cleaver. Then she said, "I'm not sure you can."

"What?" The flat, unfeeling tone to her voice set Ace's temper flaring, just like it always did. It was the same tone shitty adults used when they said things they thought were true, and that kids didn't need to know about.

"I'm also not exactly sure what you're talking about," she added, tilting her head curiously at him. She rubbed idly at her face with the heel of one hand, then grimaced at the blood streak left across her cheek. She looked like a murderer, except for the confused tilt of her head. "Sorry, are you talking about the fighting part or…?"

"I meant the thing you did to make everyone afraid of you!" Ace bit out, desperation getting the better of his self-control. His fists clenched, though he didn't go for his pipe.

In some ways, Kei's patient listening face was worse than being laughed at. Even if no one saw what happened in Gray Terminal, Bluejam disappeared. Sabo's shitty dad never bothered them again. Ace knew this woman was strong enough to protect his brothers when he wasn't. The difference between their strengths stuck in him like a thorn in his shoe. Nothing helped him dig it out, no matter how hard he trained or how many people he fought.

Ace snapped into a bow, though maybe not as good as the one Makino tried to teach him. "Please tell me how to do that."

Thunk. Thunk. Then there was a sound like a flag flapping, but heavier, as Kei tossed the alligator skin over the drying rack.

"You don't need to bow to me," Kei said, already making her way to the pump on the side of her little cabin.

"It is an interesting thing to ask us," said Isobu, dragging himself out and into Ace's eyeline. "Sit down."

Ace did so, because he'd been doused by Isobu's weird water gun mouth about fifteen times by now, and the sixteenth was not the charm. While the turtle-thing stared him down with his single unblinking eye, Ace fidgeted a little. Sat with his legs under him and listened to the sound of the pump working, nervous but not like actually afraid. Not like with Gramps.

"Killing intent is what it sounds like," Isobu explained, tucking his leg-arms under his belly. "It is not precisely a skill, but instead a matter of the sheer will to do harm to people."

"Kinda figured that from the name," Ace said, in a slightly sullen mutter.

"It is self-explanatory," Isobu agreed, curling his tails as well, "but for that reason, I do not know if you have the capacity for it."

At this point, Kei returned while flicking water from her hands. She sat in the grass across from Ace, just far enough away and with her legs crossed, so that Ace's nerves settled a little. Though he wasn't sure how, she always tried to do little things like that to help Ace and Sabo feel a little safer around her. Sure, they both knew she was faster and stronger than anybody else on the island, but not showing it off was a sign she at least cared about their impressions of her.

It only helped so much, but it was noticeable.

"Like Isobu was saying, killing intent is…not really something I thought you'd want to learn," Kei said, scrutinizing him with her eyes barely peeking out past her bangs. "What brought this on?"

"I've fought a lot of people before," Ace said, staring back as steadily as he could, "but I couldn't do anything against Bluejam. None of us could do anything until Gaara and Fū showed up to save us." He gripped his knees hard enough for his knuckles to go white. "I need to get stronger."

"Does that remind you of anyone you know, Kei?" Isobu's voice asked, but when Ace looked up in surprise, the turtle pointed firmly at Kei with his left tail.

"Only everyone," Kei sighed. She rested her chin on her hand, elbow on knee, and finally said, "As violent as you and your brothers can be, Ace, I don't know if killing intent is ever going to be your thing."

Ace wasn't sure whether that was a compliment or an insult. "Why's that?"

Kei glanced at Isobu. Ace did, too, and the little turtle wiggled his tails. "I don't know you that well, but I do know you'd do anything to protect your brothers. That sound right?"

Ace nodded firmly. "Duh."

"So would I." That gave Ace pause. Kei had brothers? Since when? "But I was younger than you when I decided that anybody who hurt Hayate would die. I've had a long time to just…" She waved a hand as though searching for a word. "To just hone that feeling. It's not a healthy state of mind, carrying murder around like that. Isobu makes it worse."

Isobu's tails wiggled like seaweed in a current. "I would argue—"

"No."

"But—"

"We're already bad influences. Don't push it." Kei stared at Isobu until the little monster rolled his eye and subsided with a grumble. She then turned her attention back to Ace. "It's not just about wanting to kill someone. It's… I hate to make moral judgments like this, but it takes at least a little evil to get the raw power for it. When you're using killing intent, any ideas about the value of life just don't exist. "

Ace opened his mouth to protest. He'd wanted Bluejam dead. He'd been out killing wild animals since he could walk away from the Dadan pirates and explore the island. He fought everything, stole, and lied and cheated and—and he was Roger's—

"You're not evil, Ace," Kei said sharply, cutting across his thoughts like one of her swords. She peered at his expression with too-knowing eyes, folding her arms over her chest. "You're a kid with issues, but you're nowhere near as bad as you think you are. That's why I don't think you can fuel an attack like that through sheer malice."

"Like you said, you don't know me that well." Ace glared down at his knees.

Kei made a noise that sounded like agreement, but with strings attached. "Tell you what—there's probably a better route, and it might be something your brothers can learn with you." When Ace looked up in surprise, Kei went on, "It's called haki. It's a power that's rare before you get to the later parts of the Grand Line, but it'll save your life."

Ace stared at her. "I thought Naruto said his thing was called 'chakra.'"

"His is, but he was born with the potential to use that. Haki can be learned by anyone." Kei's eyes rolled skyward for a second as she thought that over. "Mostly. Keep in mind that I don't use haki, but I've known people who do. Their lessons may still help you."

Isobu swatted Kei's leg with one of his tails. "I was also listening, thank you."

She paused for another one of her awkward stretches, staring her little monster friend down. Ace was never sure what went through Kei's head when she zoned out, but all of the kids Ace knew had tried attacking her during those silences just to see how she'd react. Mostly, she snapped out of it instantly and sent people flying over her shoulder or straight into the dirt.

The second one was mostly for the FNG gang. She was gentler with Ace and his brothers, as weird as that was.

Kei said at last, "I can teach you what I know. My first true demonstration was when a guy kicked me through an island, so I'm sure it'll help you punch above your weight class."

It wasn't what Ace asked for. Even so, the idea of being able to knock someone like Kei around was a tempting one. If Gramps had trouble getting Kei out of his face when he showed up to visit, then Ace aimed to be even stronger. Chasing One Piece demanded no less.

"If you want to stick around and help me prepare all this, I'll try explaining as we go," Kei offered.

There was still an awful lot of alligator parts lying around. For some reason, Kei almost always turned this kind of meat into tiny stew cubes and cooked it with vegetables instead of just letting the kids eat everything immediately. When Ace wondered about it aloud, Sabo said something about "food poisoning," but none of them knew what that meant unless there were weird mushrooms involved. Meat didn't go uneaten around them long enough for it to go bad.

Ace was tempted—he'd learned cooking meant snacking while they worked—but finally said when Kei went to retrieve her cleaver, "Do you have anything I can just take back to the others right now?"

"The usual lunch boxes are in the cellar," Kei told him, already getting back to work. She had big butcher's gloves and everything. "Door's open."

Ace left his pipe stuck in the turf as he headed into Kei's little cabin. It was pretty bare, aside from cooking utensils and the kind of stuff even Dadan had—bed, storage trunk, and so on. She hadn't even really decorated. Ace already knew from previous visits that Kei didn't store treasure here or really anywhere, and so Ace pulled up the hatch and hopped down into the cellar without bothering to snoop.

A minute later, Ace had dragged all of the lunchboxes—really medicine boxes with straps for carrying—out the front door. Between the ropes left at the front of the cabin and the length of his pipe, he tied all of them together in a huge stack and hauled them onto his back. The fact that the burden was bigger than he was didn't slow him down for a second. He and Sabo had carried whole jungle beasts around for years, so the lunchboxes were barely noticeable.

"Remind the others that dinner is at sunset," Kei called as he left, still hammering away at the alligator's tough ribs. "And tell Luffy that he needs to eat all the vegetables this time, or he might get scurvy."

"…What's scurvy?"

"A disease that makes your eyeballs bleed and your teeth fall out."

Ace froze.

Kei didn't smile when she looked up, blood splattered across the front of her rubber apron. Her panda eyes were flat and serious. She even managed to hold that expression on her scarred face for a full five seconds, then shrugged and turned back to her work. "Anyway, have fun adventuring today."

Isobu's high, croaky laughter chased Ace all the way down the mountain.

This probably had something to do with the fact that the turtle rolled most of the way after him, but, regardless, there was still no way Ace would forget that lesson anytime soon.

Unbeknownst to Ace, Kei spent the bulk of the afternoon after he left on a snail call. The eventual alligator stew components were cleaned, stored, and marinating in the largest vat of soy sauce she'd ever gotten her hands on, which gave her a little time to shore up one teensy little problem in her lesson plan.

"This is Thatch's Pancake House! We slap 'em, you stack 'em! How can I take your order?"

"It's Kei," she said, and waited for the sound of several pirates falling over to come to an eventual stop in the background. Before Thatch could yell at her for being out of contact, Kei said in a rush, "So, I offered to teach a bunch of kids how to use haki, except I don't actually know how it works. How did you learn?"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FINALLY CALLING FOR?!" demanded several people at once. Thatch was just the loudest of the kitchen crew.

"You what," said someone else. Sounded a little like Teach, actually. Kei had never liked him much.

"I need to teach a bunch of kids how to use haki," Kei repeated, with a little more impatience.

"WHY?!"

"Because they'll get themselves killed otherwise," Kei said. "Again, a little help?"

"You—ugh, I'm taking this snail to Pops." Thatch sounded exasperated at best. "Stay on the line!"

"Can do," Kei chirped, and listened to several pirates on the other end crash to a halt at the sound of her voice using that tone. They were too far away to retaliate.

"Quit sassing us and explain where you've been, you brat!"

Several months ago:

Kei's arm hurt a little. Her left didn't tend to heal from that kind of treatment so quickly, even years after the damage to her chakra coils, but the low-intensity ache felt like something she could still ignore. Sleeping on her arm wrong was a minor annoyance at best.

Wake up.

No. Kei did not need a chakra monster to do double duty as an alarm clock. No one did.

I refuse your refusal! WAKE, Isobu's voice rang out again, UP. NOW.

And to emphasize his point, the next sensation slammed through Kei's brain was like getting kicked in the shin by someone wearing soccer cleats.

Kei jackknifed upright from a combination of pain and reflex, and discovered instantly that this was a mistake. For one, her head jerking up slammed it against a sloping wall, which was enough to make her see stars. For two, Isobu's chakra was angry enough to spit nails. In even more alarming news, her body let her know immediately that her arms were chained to the slowly rolling floor and the wall she'd just hit.

While she blinked the spots from her vision, Kei sat there with her arms chained out to her sides with a buzzing noise filling her entire brain. It felt like television static. It was the verbal incarnation of total bafflement. The oppressive darkness—broken only by a lantern and a glowing eye at ankle height—at least helped her focus by blotting out anything other than the creak of wood and stinking salt air.

It didn't help clear her thoughts much. It raised so many other questions that she honestly didn't know where to start.

Do you see why I might think this is alarming? Isobu asked inside her head.

What the fuck happened to me last night, Kei asked him, and looked properly down into the cat-sized Tailed Beast. Hell, what happened to you? Is that you, or is it a clone?

This is me, Isobu said, raising all three of his tiny tails. A single, dark length of chain was wrapped around the base of them, but he'd pulled the other end loose from the wall and left the screws and the links to trail him around. Scraps of broken steel sat scattered across the floor of the...cell.

This was a cell. Kei was chained to a wall in a cell. She'd been "sleeping" while slumped forward over her knees, suspended by the manacles, and now she had a massive crick in her neck.

Kei looked straight at the ceiling and noted, in order: The slow sway of a ship, the heavy smell of sea spray and dead fish, and the generally damp conditions. Past the moldy ceiling and the faint sound of leaks belowdecks, mens' voices and heavy footsteps clomped all around the ship. Wooden walls made up three of the four, and the cell door was made of iron bars too close together for a child to slip through. She could hear rough accents she didn't completely recognize so soon after waking, and didn't need a checklist to figure out that she'd been fucking kidnapped.

So, Kei thought at Isobu, this is a thing.

It was the shortest possible way she could understate the magnitude of the situation while still acknowledging its existence. She'd get around to freaking out when she finally ran out of options to deal with it.

Yes, it is. Isobu wiggled his tails for emphasis.

"Well, this sucks," Kei finally said aloud, because why not complain aloud when there wasn't anyone around to hear her? If her captors appeared, she'd at least sound a little less congested.

"Guess you're finally awake, then?" asked a man's voice from a source she couldn't see. The cells were designed such that Kei couldn't tell there was another person so close by without someone speaking up. Nothing besides Isobu tripped her chakra sense. "I heard the thumping earlier, but I didn't know if you were actually awake or just flailing around."

"Uh," said Kei. Her chains clinked as she shifted to listen to the left wall. "Hi, I guess?"

The voice's owner chuckled dryly. "Not a great place for meeting new people, is it? A brig, I mean. Sorry if I surprised you."

"It's fine." Kei looked down at Isobu, who did his best to shrug despite some shortages in the shoulder rotation department. He rarely had any interest in helping Kei talk to people. Then she said, "I'd agree about the meeting people thing, but I…don't really know how I got here."

"I've been here less time than you have, actually, so I don't know why you're here either," said the voice, companionable and helpful despite the circumstances. It was like talking to someone about the weather on a nice, sunny day. "When I got dragged past most of the cell block, you were already there."

Shit, Kei thought. "How long ago was that?"

"About three hours, I think," said the voice in a thoughtful tone. Chains rattled on the other side of the wall. "It was past lunchtime, but I'm not hungry yet."

Having even one friendly voice besides Isobu, who was always with her, bolstered her spirits just that little bit. She was still quite nettled about being stuck in a cell for who knew how long, but Kei just felt her mood lift anyway. By a fraction of a percent. Still… "You don't sound worried."

"Wow, I must be a better liar than I thought." The man laughed, a little self-deprecatingly. "Being captured by one of Kaido's subordinate crews is honestly pretty scary, but I can deal with it. I have someone to talk to now, don't I?"

Kei frowned, eyes landing on Isobu but more staring past him. Kaido? Who the hell is that? It was superficially similar to her student's name, maybe, but so were a lot of names. And what was this business about "subordinate crews?"

I do not recognize the name, Isobu said, even though he hardly ever bothered with human names. At this point, Isobu mentioning that kind of thing was more for the sense of being included than anything. But I am willing to bet this involves pirates.

Why pirates?

Because we are on a ship. Kirigakure does have a navy, but not made of materials like wood. Had they been the one to capture you, we would not be speaking now. Isobu dragged his body across the floor until he rested his soft underbelly between Kei's feet. The chain rattled behind him. He went on, Kirigakure would have recognized us on sight, and it would end badly.

Amazing what effect a particular decision could have on one's international reputation, even almost a decade from the event itself. Back when Isobu had first been sealed into her chakra coils, Kei had been less concerned with sparking an international incident and more with surviving long enough to reunite with her friends. And then the attack on Sorayama happened, and the resulting downward spiral of her reputation was set in stone. Trying to tell Kirigakure she hadn't killed their Mizukage candidate was pointless. Trying to convince anyone else that the massacre wasn't her fault was too little, too late.

"Just so you know," the voice said, "that wasn't a joke or anything. I really do like to talk. Ask anyone."

"That's definitely the impression I get," Kei agreed. As she spoke, the bulk of her attention was instead on the iron(?) rings fastening her chains to the wall behind her. Pulling experimentally, nothing creaked in a way that suggested weakness.

You will have to work harder than that, Isobu scolded her. It is not as though you are in a worse position than I was.

Kei blinked. Isobu was a Tailed Beast, tiny or not. He'd broken his chain loose already. I'm not?

I do not have leverage on anything at this size. Getting free and waking you took longer than expected. Which, given that he was just short of a meter long—with his tails making up half that length—made plenty of sense.

That's fair, Kei admitted. She leaned back against the wall to ease the strain on her shoulders, then said, "Kaido, huh? Damn."

"Only the worst of the worst for us," said the man on the other side of the wall. "But at least Kaido's predictable in his own way."

"I guess," Kei said. To Isobu, she said silently, See if you can fit through the bars. I want to know if the guy I'm talking to actually is a prisoner.

It wasn't uncommon for interrogators to use the fake prisoner ploy, which was far more effective than torture. People were so much more willing to give up information if they thought they had an ally. While Kei's erstwhile companion was by far the chattier one, she didn't have his name yet. And he'd apparently already seen what she looked like.

Isobu turned his spiky head and eyed the bars dubiously. I cannot fit through while on my belly.

You can if you go sideways, Kei said impatiently. Come on, give it a shot.

I blame you if this goes wrong.

Of course, Isobu's arms weren't long enough to flip him back over if he tumbled onto his shell, but that would only be a problem if he was exceptionally clumsy. Besides, he wasn't nearly as vulnerable as a real turtle would've been in the same situation. And Kei needed more information before she could decide what to do next.

As far as plans went, "break out" was somewhat lacking in relevant detail.

Isobu slid across the floor with a loud huff, tangled chain rattling in his wake. He reached the cell door, then tried to grasp the bars with his tiny hands in order to heave himself up onto his side. Game attempt though it was, even flattening his belly only allowed him to sneak the first rank of shell spikes past the bars. By the time the second set met metal, he was too far along to go back, but also unable to make any progress.

Isobu wiggled his little arms and his tails, but to no avail. The chain lashed violently in the air, crashing against the bars as well as the floor, and it kept doing so until the little Tailed Beast was forced to give up.

Oops, Kei said.

I officially blame you, Isobu said petulantly. When he was held sideways in the middle of the cell door by his spikes, he couldn't come across any other way. I cannot move.

"What's that noise?" asked Kei's fellow prisoner, as Isobu continued wiggling on the spot.

"Nothing. Gimme a second," Kei said, even as she silently ordered Isobu to stop.

Isobu did not stop. Metal slid against metal like some angry cyborg serpent as he thrashed.

"I mean, they have me a little tied up at the moment. Seastone is a bit of a puzzler as far as escapes go," the man continued, his voice a touch strained. Now, Kei could hear the stress, and wondered again how many questions she wasn't going to be able to ask for a while. "If you need help, I'm sorry I can't really—"

"It's fine. That's not me." Kei twisted as far as she could in place, eying the loop of metal that kept her anchored to the wall. If Isobu could get out of the restraints—sort of—Kei saw no reason she couldn't either.

"That's not you?" the man said, puzzled.

Someone on the ship would hear them sooner or later.

"Nope," Kei replied. It was at least honest, if not very clear. Instead of explaining, Kei winched herself as far to the right as she could, making it easier for her to twist her hand around and touch the heavy metal ring securing her to the wall.

Isobu finally stopped moving and asked, Are you going to try and break the chain?

Just a second, Kei told him, and made the one-handed seals necessary to create a chakra scalpel that extended from the blade of her hand. It fanned out into the shape of a bonesaw. When the near-invisible jutsu touched the chain, there was no open cut or perceivable weakening of the material. Damn.

"When they dragged me past your cell," the other prisoner said, with the air of someone trying to fill an awkward silence, "I thought I saw someone in there with you. What's the cute little guy's name?"

Isobu perked up, though he was still stuck sideways between the bars. In his high mental voice, he repeated, Cute?

"He's the cutest. I call him Isobu," Kei said, and drove the chakra scalpel into the wooden wall below the anchor point. The wood split under her attention as easily as human flesh, allowing her to carve all around the seemingly-invulnerable metal. "Aha!" And when she pulled on the chain she'd weakened, the root of it broke from the wall and clocked her in the head. "Ow, fuck!"

"You all right over there?" her fellow prisoner asked. Chains clinked faster, as though he was trying to get a bit of leeway to help. "Hey—"

"I'm fine!" Kei's right arm wasn't free, exactly, but she could move her hand just fine. Almost a meter's worth of apparently-indestructible chain hung from her wrist. And it didn't stop her from swinging her arm around to deal with the left chain the same way as the first. "Almost got it—"

And that was when they heard footsteps.

Isobu, we need a fog cloud now.

You say that as if the true goal will not be the avoidance of embarrassment, Isobu said, and his tails wagged slightly.

Still, Kei said, I need a moment to get my arms free and then pry you out.

Wish granted, said Isobu. He made a coughing noise and the entire deck filled with thick mist, spewed from his mouth like cigarette smoke times a hundred. It crawled across the ground and into the opposite cells,

Kei's partner always did have just the slightest dramatic streak.

"What the hell is going on down here?" demanded a rough voice, sounding like it came from the top of some currently-invisible stairs. What with the fog and all. "Where's all this shit coming from?!"

"I have several questions," said the man beyond the wall, sounding brighter again. "But this is sure different!"

The source of the stomping footsteps, on the other hand, proceeded to miss a step and trip down the stairs. Even if Kei couldn't see the exact moment it happened, his body disturbed the mist itself and let her get the joke anyway. Even if it hadn't, Isobu let out a nasty little laugh that sounded like a witch's cackle sped up in a synthesizer, which synced up with their fellow prisoner's snort-laugh combo.

Above their heads, someone from the other crew chortled at their crewmate's expense.

"Do you think this is funny, you Whitebeard lackey?" snarled the man who'd taken a tumble. He lurched to his feet in the middle of the fog cloud, groping blindly through the opaque cloud until meaty hands grasped the front of Kei's cell. "Or is it yours, Wano bitch?"

What the hell is a "Wano" and why—?

The face that emerged from the fog bank was far larger than Kei's—if she had to guess, the man was almost four meters tall and nearly as broad in the chest, with hands easily the size of serving platters. Worse, she could see scales crawling up the sides of his face as he glared down at her. A lizard's long tongue peeked out of his mouth. Between that and the murderous expression on his face, Kei looked into that huge face and felt her internal schema of humanity throw a gear.

Only humans were quite so evil, though.

And yet, Kei kept her face perfectly expressionless. She had plenty of thoughts queued up in her head, but they didn't need voicing now. She said instead, "You tell me."

Because this version of Isobu's fog spawned from him, it didn't take much thought to realize he was the source of the problem. The pirate reared one massive boot back and kicked Isobu square in the face, catapulting him back into the cell. The much-reduced Tailed Beast hit Kei in the chest belly-first, which was the best he could do to soften the impact, but it still knocked the breath from Kei's lungs.

I want him dead, Isobu told her, even as he righted himself in Kei's lap and tried to push chakra into her system to speed her recovery. He turned his little face toward the enemy and puffed himself up, raising all of his spikes like a sea urchin. They didn't get any sharper, but the intent was there.

You and me both, buddy, Kei thought as her breathing became less of a wheeze. She'd taken far worse hits during her career as a shinobi, but it never felt great. Without a chakra cloak up, she'd at least bruise for a while.

"Leave her alone!" snarled the man in the next cell. "I'm the one who's bringing an Emperor down on your head, you rat bastard!"

"You," the pirate said, pulling back into the dissipating fog and turning toward the other prisoner, "are the only alive because Kaido wants to make an example of you, 'commander.' You'll be lucky if he just has you boiled alive in one of your stock pots."

"Real tough talk from someone who had to jump me with his entire crew!" There was a frantic note in his voice, almost entirely covered by the huge taunt thrown in their jailer's face.

But before their captor could leave, Kei lunged forward off the floor and got her arms between the bars. She swung the chains up, lightning-quick, and got both of them around the huge man's throat with the ends in each opposing hand. With Isobu's chakra behind her, she braced her legs against the bars and heaved, dragging the pirate against the cell door by his throat with all the mercy of a hungry python.

"Holy shit!" said the man in the next cell, as Kei's victim thrashed frantically.

Excellent, Isobu said from the floor, having been dislodged by Kei's opportunistic attack.

While Kei wrestled the pirate to the ground with her Isobu-granted strength, her eyes itched with the first signs of Isobu's power. Under her grip and the chains' durability, the reptilian features creeping onto the man's face had instantly faded. Seeing as this only made it easier to garrote him, Kei pushed the strangeness to the back of her head for a later Q&A session.

This wasn't to say that the pirate didn't struggle like his life depended on it, because he did. However, his size made his hands too large to fit through the bars, and his fingers were too blunt without claws to pry Kei's hands away. Any attempts to break her bones like twigs were doomed to fail with as much chakra thrummed through Kei's limbs.

With Isobu's power backing her, nothing short of another jinchūriki would dislodge her now.

Isobu snarled, Kill him!

Perhaps due to impatience, Isobu's aggression, or just sheer cussedness, Kei shifted her grip on the chains just enough to get the leverage she wanted. Pulling with her weight and with her rage backing her, Kei gave a wordless snarl and hauled harder on the chains than ever.

The crack when his neck broke wasn't loud, but the vibration traveled up the chain just fine.

Kei waited for a few breathless moments, keeping her grip tight on her victim. She hadn't aimed to strangle him. That would've taken too long and caused unacceptable amounts of noise. Breaking his neck was more her speed.

"I'm guessing he's not gonna be much of a problem anymore," said the voice in the next cell. "That was definitely a surprise."

Kei loosened her grip on the corpse. Even from her position inside the cell, she managed to turn the body on its way to the floor, seizing the opportunity to search the dead man for keys. Failing that, she had the patience for picking locks with Coral Palm. It just felt like a waste of energy when—

Aha.

Salvation?

No. Well, maybe. I mean, they're keys. Kei kicked the corpse out of her way so it rolled into the far cells, the key ring clasped in her hand. We're getting out of here.

Better than nothing, Isobu grumped. Now, what about that human in the next cell?

You're asking about him? Kei raised an eyebrow as she fit each of the keys into the lock, unable to quite see what she was doing. When the first key didn't turn the tumblers, she moved to the next.

Compliments are rare, said Isobu.

Fair enough.

He slid across the floor to climb up Kei's leg. With his tails still tangled, he clicked and clacked on the way up, but managed to secure himself as a spiky, angry backpack around Kei's shoulders soon enough.

Sure, nearly throttling Kei with her shirt wasn't ideal, but it wasn't like he had back legs to assist with the process. He'd have refused any of Kei's help on principle.

Sorry.

It's fine. Had worse.

Besides, Kei had a heart. She could let Isobu's new favorite person out of a cell when she literally had all the keys in hand. He'd helped keep her spirits up whether he meant to or not, and that was worth something, too.

Thank you, said Isobu, probably overhearing her thoughts even if they weren't entirely directed at him.

The door slid open with an ominous creak after Kei used the fourth key on it. The hinges likely needed oiling. Or whatever.

The "hall" outside was just the central stem in the middle of a dozen cells fanned out like veins on a leaf, with only her cell and one other occupied at all. Every one of the cells was identical to the one Kei had just left. The sound of the crew doing whatever above their heads filtered down through a staircase, which was currently capped with a closed door. Lizard-man hadn't apparently alerted anyone before tripping his way down into the brig. While there was definitely shouting and rushing, no one made for the stairs that she could hear.

Good enough for now. Even if it was a little weird.

Instead of, say, rigging the entire staircase with a cascade of explosives, Kei turned her attention to the person in the adjacent cell. He'd already spent their entire acquaintance trying to give her a hand, which deserved a favor in kind.

The man in the cell was about the same height as Kei even while sprawled on the bench, but with more normal proportions than the lizard-man she'd just killed. His red-brown hair was mussed, but might easily have been a pompadour with a critical gel shortage. His face split into a grin over a dark beard, and it stretched the scar that curved around his eye and onto his cheek. Wearing an all-white outfit with a yellow ascot, he looked less like a prisoner and more like a chef who'd made a wrong turn somewhere.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He shifted as he spoke, showing off much more comprehensive restraints than Kei's set. His wrists and elbows were chained to a belt around his waist, and his ankles were chained together as well as to the wall. His captors had even gone as far as to steal his shoes. He still managed to keep a sense of humor about it as he said, "Sorry I can't exactly make the first impression I'd like, given all this. I swear I'm usually more put-together."

"It's fine," Kei said, and started working his cell door through the same series of keys. She wasn't sure if she ought to be grateful or insulted that her restraints were so comparatively easy to circumvent. Whoever ran the ship clearly thought this man was a much bigger threat than Kei was, which was going to be the last mistake they ever made. Belatedly, she said, "Also, the name's Kei."

"Greetings," said Isobu, heaving himself up along Kei's shirt and onto a vantage point on Kei's shoulder. "Kei was speaking to me earlier."

The man's grin widened. For the first time since the Sage of Six Paths, a human who'd never seen a Tailed Beast before was more charmed than intimidated. "There's the little cutie! Isobu, wasn't it? If I'd known you could talk before, I'd have paid you compliments a bit sooner."

Isobu preened while Kei continued messing with the lock. "That is me. And who are you?"

"Thatch," he replied. He shifted a little, chains rattling, and sounded a little wistful as he talked. And continued talking. "Like that guy said, I'm the commander of the Fourth Division of the Whitebeard Pirates. And I swear we're nothing like Kaido. Honestly, Pops is probably furious I've gone missing. Wasn't supposed to be out this long, but when a rival crew grabs you on a grocery run, it's not like they let you leave a note for the family." His eyes cut toward the dead pirate. "Speaking of—"

That was when the cell door swung inward.

Kei held up the keys in silent explanation, to forestall questions. They didn't jingle much, because any ring with upward of twenty keys was a bit too heavy for a nice sound.

"Well, damn," said Thatch.

Kei shrugged off the compliment, entering the cell to inspect Thatch's bindings. "I just found the right one. I'm not sure if any of the rest might work on those chains, but we can try." Silently, she added, Isobu, watch the stairs. Someone's going to notice ol' Jabba the Hutt over there sooner or later.

Fine. It is not as though your task is interesting,Isobu said with a huff. He let go of Kei's shoulder and fell to the floor with a thud and a series of metallic clinks. Scooching on his belly with his two arms pulling, he made his slow way out of the cell and toward the stairs.

"Did I do something to offend him?" Thatch asked, with some concern.

"Not likely," Kei said, without looking up from her work. While she didn't have lockpicks to precisely poke around, the key material matched the lock. If the various locks on a single rig were all meant to work with the same key, she might actually finish this task before Isobu could report an interloper. "He's got thick skin."

Ha. Ha. Ha, said Isobu, with the deepest disdain. Though you did not ask, no one has come to investigate yet. Be faster regardless.

The third key didn't work. Up next: the completely predictable fourth key. To Isobu, Kei said silently, You could always sing something as a timer, if you're that bored.

If he started humming the opening bars to Darth Vader's theme, that musical secret was between him and Kei. It was quite catchy even when filtered through Isobu's voice.

Thatch looked over Kei's head—not difficult, given the height difference between them—at the sound of Isobu's piping voice. After a few seconds of listening curiously, he turned his attention back to Kei and said, "Whatever he's singing, it's this odd combination of cute and ominous. It suits you both pretty well."

"Thanks?" At least Kei managed not to pull a face. It wasn't the first time she'd gotten a mixed compliment like that, but definitely the first from a stranger. "He's focusing on the 'cute' part, honestly."

"Always appreciate honesty! Speaking of ominous, though," Thatch went on pivoting with the conversational acuity Kei never had, "are you actually from Wano, or is the coat a fashion statement? I've seen samurai wear that kind of thing before."

Kei glanced down at her sleeve, even as her hands kept moving through the seventh and eighth keys. The last thing she remembered before ending up in some random pirate brig was falling asleep on her couch, after spending the night out celebrating Tanabata with what seemed like half of Konoha's population. Wearing a yukata felt like an inconvenience she was too old to tolerate, so she'd given into Aiko's idea of a Team Kei happi-wearing brigade. Sure, they hadn't had a shrine to carry, but it was no worse than Team Gai's access to green spandex.

"We can just wear our headbands! It'll match," Aiko had said. And then she'd showed off the black coats, decorated with the kanji for "crane" and Tsuruya's wings already made, and Kei folded like a cheap paper fan.

Now, wearing festival clothes felt just that iota more absurd than usual. She supposed that shorts and tank tops, with or without the team coat, were at least more suitable for a high seas adventure than a yukata. Then again, most clothes were.

Finally, Kei said, "My mother was a samurai. I'm not."

Because you are a shinobi, Isobu said.

Shh. It defeated the point if everyone knew that. Personally, Kei didn't think she'd be identified as a shinobi on sight while dressed for a festival, but one never knew.

Isobu snickered in Kei's head, because he was just that kind of person.

"Huh. Kaido's temper aside, I'm not really sure how you got here," said Thatch.

Kei shrugged. "That makes two of us."

"If that's the case, you can come back with me to the Moby Dick once we get out of here!"

"That's going to be interesting," Kei said, "because I don't think a single one of these keys fits any of the cuffs."

Thatch froze for a second. Even his pompadour drooped more in disappointment. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." So much for the easy route.

There was a moment of silence. Kei held up the key ring with a frown, having gone through every last one of them. Twelve keys for twelve cells was great, but the man on the ground hadn't been carrying anything else. Maybe the whole point was that once the prisoners were chained, they could only be actually freed at their destination.

"Oh, whatever," Kei grumbled. Then she wrapped each of the chains around the arm they were attached to like the Blades of Chaos (minus the blade part), tucking the ends under themselves, and said, "Move over and I'll dig yours out of the wall."

Thatch's eyebrows rose. "Not to be a skeptic, but…" He trailed off, taking a second look at the ends of Kei's bindings and the chunk of wood still stuck to the screws. "Ah, is that how you got out?"

"Yep," Kei said, and nudged Thatch with her elbow. "Hurry up."

"Sure—"

At that exact moment, the ship suddenly pitched sideways. Every jailbird in the brig felt it. Instantly, Kei slammed a hand into the wall and stuck it there with chakra to keep from stumbling, punching a fist-sized gouge into the wood from the impact. Thatch, meanwhile, just braced his knee a little farther to one side and rolled with the motion like a lifetime sailor. While he couldn't lift his arm all the way, he managed to grip part of Kei's coat and helped keep her from hitting the wall. Across the hall, Isobu let out an aggravated, squeaking snarl as he slid sideways across the floor against his will.

Piercing through the sound of screaming pirates and groaning wood and waves thrashing the ship, high enough to not be muffled, was a bird's high shriek. At least, should have been a bird, because any world that made heavy use of wooden ships probably didn't have jet fighters.

Thatch laughed as the ship rolled. When the waves started to die down, he managed, "Sounds like Marco finally showed up!"

I have several questions, but I'm definitely not going to ask, Kei thought. She righted herself, blocked out the bulk of Isobu's indignant shouting, and focused on the task in front of her. "Okay, let's try this again."

Much faster than before, when they'd been bantering back and forth, Kei cut into the wall immediately around the chain ports. To an outside perspective, it probably mostly looked like she pulled chunks out of the wood by drawing a circle around each attachment point, as though with an invisible cookie cutter. Chakra scalpels didn't need to be seen to be effective. In seconds, Kei tore three of those chains loose from the wall.

Thatch lurched a little as he was finally able to move more than thirty centimeters to either side. As Kei tucked the ends of the chains as far out of his way as she could, Thatch asked, "Do you figure someone else in the crew has the actual keys?"

"Probably, but…" Well, Kei had already gotten hilariously lucky with the cell keys. It was possible there was another hapless sucker lying around to be mugged for another set. "I dunno, maybe we'll find them once we get on deck. Anyway, if Marco's here, can we expect more help?"

"Marco's just the fastest. Most of my brothers are just as focused on helping us. See, we never leave anyone behind," Thatch said, accepting the topic change with better grace than Kei would have. He grinned. "It's the Whitebeard way!"

"I'll take your word for it." Kei took a few seconds to help Thatch up from the bench, even as she internally cursed the complexity of his rig. Given his height, he'd be lucky to avoid falling on his face if they needed to run. "How confident are you in fighting like…this?"

"Not even a little," Thatch replied, "but if you can find me a sword, I'll do the cutlass-in-the-teeth trick for free. Could probably stab their ankles a little after tripping on my own feet."

"I'm sure everyone could use an exotic new piercing like that," Kei muttered, stepped back out of the cell.

"They're all the rage." Thatch shuffled after her. "But I'd still need a sword for it."

If Kei managed to steal one from the pirates, it definitely wasn't going to Thatch. There was, sadly, not much in the way of calculation to be done here. Thatch was more a hostage than a combat partner right now. And without Isobu providing reconnaissance, Kei didn't actually know what was going on upstairs.

And I could have discovered this some time ago, had there been a porthole.

At some point, there may be a hole belowdecks anyway. Then you'll have your porthole.

It is not the same,Isobu complained.

Again, the bird's call sounded—closer this time, and even angrier.

"Dammit, it's the Phoenix!"

"Music to my ears," Thatch said, as Isobu finally righted himself.

This is so undignified, Isobu complained, then gripped the nearest solid object—the corpse.

The very air cracked. White lines of destruction wrote themselves through the structure of the ship like demonic spiderwebs, cutting through the stairs and out the other set of cells. Kei almost reached out to touch one, only to be stopped by Thatch nudging her away with his foot.

"It's Pops." Thatch grabbed the front of a cell with one hand, just before the lines disappeared.

Reality itself thrashed, shockwaves rattling through all of them the instant they were gone.

The ship rolled again, shifting left and then right as though possessed by the spirit of an angry tumble dryer. The ship surged to one side and the pirates on the deck shouted at each other. Thatch and Kei both rocked with the motion, though only Thatch's sea legs were earned. Kei had resorted once again to gluing herself to the floor with chakra.

"It's the Moby Dick!"

"How the hell did they find us this fast?!"

"Gee, I wonder how? You left that bastard's subordinates alive, you absolute—!"

Might as well just kick the door open and go from there.

Were I Shukaku, I would demand an entrance that put these Whitebeard Pirates to shame. And it should involve grievous injury with a weaponized corpse. Isobu climbed over the dead man like a turtle attempting mountain climbing. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he slid down the other side of the body and landed on his face. He then toppled onto his shell. Perhaps as compensation for all of this.

"Hey, you're all right." Thatch managed to crabwalk over to Isobu, righting him again. "Seems like you're having as much trouble getting around like I am. Why don't you stick with me for a bit, Isobu?"

Isobu eyed him. To Kei, he said, I cannot tell if he is patronizing me.

Near as I can tell, he's genuine. Just energetic.

Hm. At that point, Isobu opened his mouth and said, "Very well. Carry me, and we will defend each other."

"Sounds good to me." Then Thatch helped Isobu climb his tallest human ladder yet, because all of the ridiculous chains gave him even more grip for once. In a few seconds, Isobu was as much a backpack for Thatch as he'd been for Kei, with the minor advantage that being atop a taller person gave him a better vantage point to rain down destruction.

When the pair of them turned to Kei, waiting for a signal, she remembered only belatedly that pirates were supposed to have companion parrots, not just any pet.

Kei sighed internally, tucking the keyring into one of her pockets. As she strode up the stairs, she said, "Just…try to stay behind me. I can at least move my arms."

Thatch didn't quite manage a thumbs up with his chains as restrictive as they were, but Isobu waved one hand over his shoulder and made it work when Kei looked back.

Good enough for now.

And with that, Kei channeled chakra through her legs and kicked the door as hard as she could.

It flew off its hinges as though struck by a battering ram, sailing through the air and slamming into the back of a bull-shaped figurehead. On its short flight, the door bowled over two more pirates with animal features like the lizard Kei had already killed, clipped a third, and then plummeted into the sea.

The world slowed as Isobu's chakra crept into Kei's brain. She stepped out onto the deck, with Thatch still stuck halfway up the stairs behind her, and scanned the area.

The deck contained almost thirty pirates.

About three-fourths of the group had animal features of some description, ranging from mere ornamental spots to at least four full were-creatures with tails and claws. Everything from a snake to a lion to a goat and back again, never mind what part of the animal kingdom would've made sense. A number of them were already lying across the deck, having been shot, stabbed, or whatever else. Numbers, it seemed, did not entirely make up for repeatedly having their ship rattled like a maraca.

Between them—mostly dueling five animal-people at once—were a handful of pirates who mostly wore a symbol made of a cross with a crescent over top. There didn't seem to be any common thread of builds or looks, but Kei figured she could probably assume they weren't with the crew that ran this shithole ship.

And right off the—port?—left side of this ship, there was one that made it look like a bath toy. The lower of two gun decks was well above the deck of Kei's current accommodations, and the three masts loomed overhead almost like distant clouds. From this angle, she couldn't see the white figurehead's shape very well, but she'd have to be comically nearsighted to miss the jeering crowd of pirates leaning over the railing, rooting for the smaller fighting faction.

"Nice shot, Commander Izo!"

"Get him!"

"Show them what it means to challenge the Whitebeard Pirates!"

Kei was willing to make the logical leap that this was the aforementioned Moby Dick, because it was just that kind of day.

"Where's Anole? How—" began a man with moose features, mostly in the scoop antlers. He was probably half again Kei's height, with bulk and fur and hoof-hands. His beady eyes locked on Kei, narrowing just that bit.

Body Flicker.

Kei was on him before he could hope to finish the sentence, driving her bare heel into his eye. Almost before he could blink, her hand grasped one of his antlers, wrenching him around with her speed and weight until his face cracked against the nearest wooden railing.

For Mooseman, actually acting on his sense of alarm was not even on the table. Not at the speed Kei used when she wanted someone dead.

Make him bleed, Isobu growled.

Way ahead of you! And just for good measure, she ripped one of the two unsheathed swords from the Mooseman's belt in preparation for round two.

It wasn't a katana, but it would do.

Kei darted back out of reach, then extended her right arm to get a better idea of the weapon's heft. An experimental swing revealed that, no, she was not going to get a perfect strike out of it. While the saber was almost as long as she was tall, it was not designed to be wielded with two hands like Kei's favorite swords. Even for a one-handed grip, it was clearly not forged for someone Kei's size, either. But she could kill with nearly anything, so a sword having the wrong shape was hardly going to hold her back.

Mooseman lurched back to a standing position, clutching his face even as his nose and mouth morphed into a full moose snout. Steam jetted from his widening nose. "How did you get loose—"

Kei thought he saw those black eyes widen as they landed on the chains still wrapped around her arms. More importantly, the calculation in his bestial face became dead obvious once he looked past her and toward where Thatch was just emerging from the stairs, going by Isobu's presence.

Maybe she needed to put more oomph into her attacks.

Since Mooseman was more than tall enough to simply pick her up like an errant toddler, Kei decided to make that as difficult as possible. Mainly by fighting, because like hell was she going back into that brig before she painted this ship with its dickhead crew's blood.

Let's see how you fuckers like being stabbed.

A huge chunk of Kei's kenjutsu repertoire revolved around the act of drawing her sword, because that was what her mother taught her in childhood. And due to a notable shortage of a proper katana or a sheath, she couldn't use any of them properly at the moment. That left a smaller array of techniques, but good ones.

"Whitebeards!" roared the goat-man, from his spot at the figurehead. "You'd attack when your own man's at risk? So much for that famous honor!"

Then he reeled back, four bloody spots appearing on his sweat-stained shirt.

A man in a pink kimono blew smoke from the tip of one of his pistols. "I don't think anyone wants to hear that from you."

While that little drama played out, the Mooseman rounded on Kei and Thatch with serious ill-intent.

We are clear, Isobu told her, almost as a reminder.

Kei slammed her chakra usage into proper combat pace. Her eyes itched with Isobu's power and the cold, stone-faced calculation her mother had tried to teach her slipped right over her brain like ice water.

Body Flicker. The world slowed again as she reappeared behind Mooseman, between him and a man with kangaroo traits. An invisible blade formed along the length of her coral "sword," made entirely of Wind Release chakra.

"Where did that—" Mooseman began.

Whirling Tiger Strike.

Mooseman and his kangaroo buddy fell with twin spurts of blood at gut level, mostly because Kei didn't see the point in reaching higher on either of them. The deck groaned under their weight as they struck wood.

"I told you she was a samurai—"

Before the woman with a python's neck could finish the sentence, blue-gold fire swooped across the deck and engulfed her. There was a shriek, and a crack, and then the woman was already overboard. The flames died down briefly—long enough for Kei to spot a purple jacket and weird blond mohawk—before they flared again. Then the Tsuruya-sized firebird took off to circle the ship.

Isobu's chakra pulsed like a massive, unseen heart. Duck. Now.

Kei dropped to the deck just before her currently-little buddy spat water like a decapitated fire hydrant. The bulk of the water diverged around her anyway, spraying her with salt water and mist. The force of the sudden maelstrom bowled four more animal hybrids off the ship.

"Didn't know you had it in ya, Isobu. Literally," Thatch's voice said as the water washed off the far side of the deck. As Kei got to her feet, she spotted Thatch straining to pat Isobu's shell. He just managed to tap the end of one tail with his fingertips. "Nice shot."

Isobu looked as proud as a turtle monster with an immobile face could.

"Thatch!" To Kei's ears, that sounded like the man in the kimono.

Thatch recognized it too, and stuck his head out of the stairwell so he could see his counterpart. "Hey, Izo!"

"What have I told you about going off on your own?"

"That rules are made to be broken!" Thatch replied, stepping fully out onto the deck.

"No!"

Kei shook her head slowly at the casual banter. Not her style at all.

At least every head whipping around to greet Thatch made him an easy way to assess the other pirates' demeanors. The kimono guy, the huge top hat man, the even huger half-diamond guy, and the shark dude were all noticeably happier to see Thatch alive and well. And probably a little worried.

The guys they'd been fighting were just angry. They failed the test.

And finally, Isobu dangled off Thatch's shoulder a little, and flashed a tiny peace sign in Kei's direction.

Good grief. We're in a circus.

At least we have correctly identified—

"Get over here!"

If there was anything consistent about Kei's kenjutsu style, it was the willingness to inflict grievous injury with every movement. If there was any other thing consistent about the lessons Kei's mother taught her, a certain level of combat precognition really helped speed those inconveniently long fights along.

Like right now.

Kei blocked a strike from the lion-man with the stolen sword. His claws caught on steel.

"What—"

So, while the lion-man was busy gaping at how Kei had stopped him with one arm, Kei launched a strike from a neutral start and slashed. The man fell one way, and his arm flew over the railing.

"I think he's been disarmed, Kei," Thatch said over her shoulder.

"I understand that joke," Isobu said smugly.

Kei shrugged off the pun and stalked after her target as he scrambled away, while several more pirates were shot, slashed, or punched silly by the people who had to be Thatch's crewmates. At this point, the phoenix made another pass and sent another four men spinning off the ship, adding to the chaos.

Numbers badly thinned, the more annoying pirates started finally noticing what a bad position they were in. With only four of them left, their inability to fight the—what had Thatch said?—the Whitebeard Pirates at anything approaching parity left the leftovers trying desperately to rally for a last stand.

Kei's most recent dismemberment target didn't get far before the phoenix completed his most recent lap around the ship. Landing directly between Kei and the lion-man, the fiery blue-gold bird resolved quickly into what looked more like a lilac-jacketed blond harpy. Each wing stretched four meters from each shoulder, and sticking out of each pant leg was a gray bird's foot, tipped with long talons.

One of those talons landed neatly on the lion's tail, stopping his retreat in progress.

And just to bother Kei that little bit more, now every single person was taller than her.

Ahem, said Isobu.

Every bipedal person, Kei corrected herself.

Thank you.

"Way to spoil the party, Marco," Thatch called from behind Kei. "She was just about to ask him where the keys were."

This just-identified Marco, who was apparently a were-phoenix, looked back at both of them over his shoulder and said, "Were you?"

"I hadn't gotten that far," Kei said, leaning a little to the side to keep the lion-man in her field of view. The giant flaming wings made it a little harder than usual, and it was definitely obvious to everyone just what she was doing. "But the cell keys didn't work on the cuffs, so I guess that's the next step."

"I'll tell you anything you want," the lion-man babbled, eyes darting to Marco briefly. "Just keep her away from me!"

Kei had just removed his arm in a very not-medical context. For whatever reason, she'd expected a were-lion to be almost cartoonishly brave and attack her anyway. But between Marco's presence, the damage Kei had personally done, and the way the general flow of the fight had gone for his side, it appeared they'd broken the man's spirit.

"I'll think about it," Kei said mildly, though she really didn't have any intention to move from her spot. After a second's scan of the deck, she plants the stolen sword point-first in the deck. It might as well serve as the sign she wasn't going to stab anyone else.

For now.

Besides, she'd never been the type to walk around with a weapon that was the next best thing to the Buster Sword. She'd rather have a pair of shoes right now, before she randomly got a splinter in her foot.

"Speaking of thinking," Izo-the-kimono-wearer said, "just whose bright idea was it to try and grab Thatch?"

"And did you honestly think you were going to get away with that?" asked the three-meter-tall man with the top hat, black cape, epic mustache, and dual sabers. Strictly speaking, while both of the blades had a pommel style of rapiers, they were otherwise shaped like the swords Kei was most familiar with. She could tell that much at a glance.

The lion-man stammered, "I-I mean, that was Anole's, but I haven't—" He swallowed hard as Marco's talons tapped the deck. "A-Anole is the one who grabbed both of you!"

"If Anole was the lizard guy, he's dead," Kei said, inwardly cursing the lack of information. It wasn't like she'd known he was the only potential source. As all eyes turned her way, she stuffed that annoyance down and continued saying in a mild, unaffected voice, "Had to get past him to get out of the cells in the first place."

"Thanks for that, by the way," Thatch put in. "Dunno if I said that while you were strangling him."

"You're welcome?"

"Mystery solved. Thatch, you ready to head back to the Moby?" Diamond-dude, who was five full meters tall and currently not sparkly, tossed some dead person over the side of the ship before he made his way over.

If Kei had to describe him quickly, she'd go with "top-heavy." His legs were almost comically small compared to the rest of his body, and so was his head, but he'd also chosen a cornrow hairstyle that went well with his prominent cheekbones and sideburns. Regardless of his style choices, though, Kei's "this is what a human looks like" mental picture cracked that little bit more.

"Oh, I'm way past ready to be back home." Thatch said. "Though you should probably get someone else to do the heavy lifting for once in your life, Jozu. As handsome as I am, not even I look good in this much seastone."

Thus-identified Jozu just rolled his eyes, since Thatch's rambling sentences were apparently a sign he was in good humor. And besides, the enemies on deck were already being herded by Top Hat and Izo. Dual swords and dual pistols apparently did just fine as intimidation weapons.

"Sure thing, Thatch. Now get off this ship before the crew finally riot," Marco ordered, turning away from the thoroughly terrorized crew of lycanthropes. "Thanks to someone getting kidnapped, the Fourth Division's been pitching a collective fit. If I never see another burned omelette again, it'll be too soon."

"Aw, they really do love me—" And at that point, Jozu picked Thatch up by the chains and hurled him in a spectacular upward arc onto the deck of the larger ship. The fact that this finally got Thatch to stop talking in favor of a loud yelp was probably incidental.

Kei was pretty sure Isobu laughed on the way up.

"Need a hand?" Jozu asked, turning back toward Kei.

In a flash of blue and gold, the deck was once again dominated by a giant flaming peacock—or phoenix, whatever—which swooped off the deck and started circling the badly mauled ship and its crew.

"Thanks for the offer, but no," Kei replied, heading to the half-cracked rail of the kidnappers' ship. The flaming bird's rapid circuit looked ominous enough to serve as adequate motivation to get moving.

Above both their heads, the deck of the Moby Dick erupted in cheers as the other pirates caught Thatch. The angle was completely wrong for Kei to get a good view of what was happening, but Isobu sent her the impression of his first ever crowd-surfing session so she wouldn't miss out. "A solid wall of noise" was not a bad comparison.

Kei planted one foot on the railing and used it as a vertical starting block. Heaving with her right leg and the chakra pumped into it, her leap carried her across the gap between the ships and cleared the first and second row of cannons without issue, settling on top of an open gun port hatch.

While someone was in the process of tossing a rope ladder down as a courtesy, Kei watched Izo, Jozu, and Top Hat Man jump the entire way back to their ship.

Well, she'd already blown her cover regarding some of her combat prowess. It didn't take that much skill to strangle someone who was caught by surprise, but using a sword big enough to be a surfboard did. It was against her instincts to share more than she had to. At the same time, this cat was well out of the bag. Heads already peered over the side looking for her.

Just get up here before you miss the party.

After a second's consideration of Isobu's input, Kei sighed to herself and ran straight up the side of the ship.

"How the hell—"

"What—"

"We're clear, Marco!"

Kei snagged the lip of the ship and slipped onto the deck just as the phoenix shot away from the other ship and its terrified occupants. To her surprise, the immediate area around her was clear of all pirates except one. As Kei got to her feet, she felt her combat assessment instincts kick into overdrive.

Standing more than six and a half meters tall, the guy was made of pure muscle. Her angle was complete crap, but the uncannily perfect white mustache was easy to see when he tilted his head downward to acknowledge her presence. Kei tallied up brown eyes, light blond hair under a bandanna, but some serious crow's feet under a wrinkled forehead put his age somewhere past fifty even if the eight-pack made the guess feel off. And he was wielding a naginata in proportion to his height, which did not magically make Kei's estimation any closer.

"Uh, hi?" Kei said, because there was a tiny part of her brain—mostly unheeded since her teens—that looked at this guy and screamed "Threat alert!" She wasn't usually articulate anyway, but splitting her attention definitely didn't help.

"Thatch tells me you were the one who broke him out," said the man, whose voice was not as low as Kei had expected, given his size. He kind of sounded like a slightly scratchier Asuma, but from much higher in the air. "You and your little friend."

Kei raised one still-chained arm so he could see it a little better. "I mean, not completely." Wait, no, self-deprecation was a bad habit— "But I tried."

Strictly speaking, she could've probably tried harder and also killed a lot more than three people.

She was not going to say that, except maybe to Isobu.

I heard it regardless.

At the sound of his voice, even mentally, Kei looked down and spotted her friend rolling toward her. She knelt and scooped him off the deck as soon as he touched her hand, like he was an errant cat. And over his spiky back, she bowed to the man who was apparently in charge of her rescuers.

"I am Isobu," said her friend, bracing his tiny hands on Kei's crossed arms. "And you may call this woman Kei."

"I was getting to that," Kei hissed under her breath.

"You were not." Isobu was probably right. "Kei, this is Whitebeard, who is also the captain of this ship and its crew. I do not think he actually sired this many people—" Several pirates in their impromptu audience made hilarious choking noises at this point. "—but everyone seems to call him 'Pops.'"

Perhaps it was Isobu's piping voice taking on such a serious, lecturing tone, but Whitebeard burst out laughing. The sound was clearly contagious, infecting the other pirates and making them mimic him in dozens of voices. Even overhead, there was a loud squawk as Marco caught wind of the joke.

"You both seem like interesting people," said Whitebeard, once it was over. "Do you want your chains broken first, or do you want to see the ship sunk?"

Isobu and Kei both tilted their heads to the side curiously. The same side, even. After a heartbeat or two, Kei said for both of them, "Gotta say, I wanna see that thing on the bottom of the ocean. Chains can wait."

"And if you give me a head start, I can start my division on dinner, too!" Thatch yelled from somewhere past the crowd of people who were all taller than Kei. His voice provoked another round of cheers, mostly from hungry pirates.

That sounds interesting.

You don't even eat.

That does not mean that I cannot. Isobu pinched Kei's arm. I like the idea.

Ow.

"Then it's a plan, boys!" Whitebeard nodded very seriously as his crew's excitement built. Then he reeled back with one arm, and swung one hand in the general direction of the enemy ship.

Familiar white lines cracked across the air itself, catching the other vessel twice over with the fractures. The instant they faded, the sea, the wood, and the air split along the new fault lines. The ship and all its occupants couldn't possibly survive the strain. Several of the surviving animal-people were tossed straight into the sea by the impact. Soon enough, the ship folded in on itself like crumpled paper.

Kei hefted Isobu onto the ship's railing so he could have the best view of the shipwreck.

Several months later:

The Dadan bandits of Mt. Colubo were used to being in a particular spot in the local pecking order. For the most part, ludicrously dangerous giant wildlife was the biggest threat on the mountain itself. Sure, the triple-threat brat trio was getting there, but none of their day trips had brought down the true mega-beasts yet. In town, the bandits' rank and file kept on their toes, because none of them especially liked the idea of being shot, and High Town was extremely touchy about their wealth. Across Dawn Island, few balanced their position in the world as well as the Dadan bandits.

They were a reasonably powerful group, especially if they stuck together. They knew the local landscape and kept themselves alive come hell, high water, or random Garp incursions. The strongest and fiercest of them, Curly Dadan, was their only leader.

"—and gave us candy, so Hei is okay and stuff," concluded Luffy, bouncing a little in place. The brat never sat still unless he was asleep.

Dadan was also considering a career change.

None of the bandits had seen the rubber boy in the longhouse for at least a month, so his sudden appearance was a bit of a stumper. He, Ace, and Sabo had all moved out together without notice, disappearing into the forests not long after the last kid arrived to give the poor bandits a heart attack. Dadan kept track of them through her clan instead of directly, knowing that the boys would've at least bothered to tell her where they were going if they wanted to be followed. Unlike them, Dadan had to worry about Garp's potential wrath if she ever let her boys entirely to their own devices.

So, of course, now everyone was on the front lawn and arguing.

"Y'know, I've never tried to find the worst way to say that kind of thing, but I think I just heard it," said the second blond brat, whose name Dadan didn't know. He wasn't one of hers, even if he sounded exactly like that Sabo. He squinted up at Dadan, cheek marks stretching a little. "Kei-sensei said she'll be down here to meet everyone like… I dunno, whenever."

"Real specific." Ace glanced sidelong at the new kid, making his usual grumpy face. It wasn't as deep a glare as it was before he'd finally accepted Luffy, but Dadan wasn't sure exactly when that applied to other people.

The kid crossed his arms. "Shut up."

"You could just take it outside and get the screaming over now," Sabo suggested, clearly ignoring Dadan. When the other three boys rounded on him, he held his hands up defensively and added, "Or you could give me a pipe before the shouting starts."

"And the biting," said the girl. "Can't forget the biting."

"That was one time," Ace complained, twisting his face away from the other brats. "And anyway, all of your pets are worse!"

"Who are you calling a pet?" demanded the sandy badger thing, who'd followed all the kids around. "I am the great Shukaku, not some mere pet."

Its counterparts were a nine-tailed fox cub and a giant grub, but Dadan didn't care about them as long as they weren't talking. Hopefully they'd stay asleep until she could kick them all out.

"Still a cheap shot!"

"It's not like I have those freaky teeth!"

"Oh, just because I get cool fangs, it's somehow okay to bite me now?!"

There were just too many brats. On top of the two Garp dumped on the poor bandits, they'd adopted Sabo at some point, and now there were three more . The redhead gave everyone the creeps, the only girl had more energy than even Luffy did, and the blond one was too much like Ace for any of them to survive in this longhouse for very long. Worse, the three new ones came with pets, who would shed and destroy the bandits's belongings. It was close to Dadan's worst nightmare, barring Garp's sudden return to Dawn Island.

Dadan took a deep breath, prepared to yell until the very windows flew off the hut, when both Dogra and Magra shrieked, "Boss!" in a tone of clear alarm. Dadan turned, ready to turn their wrath on her pack of bandits for a false alarm and came face to face with someone she did not recognize.

The stranger was maybe half Dadan's size, with unruly black hair and a scar that went diagonally from one eyebrow to the opposite cheek. Dark eyes lined with dark circles tracked Dadan's own face with something like reptilian curiosity, and a loose jacket made it hard to tell if the other woman was carrying any concealed weapons under her crossed arms. The hilts of paired swords across her back poked up over each shoulder.

"Who the hell are you?" was on the tip of Dadan's tongue, but—

This woman felt like a very big fish in their little pond.

"Dadan, right?" she asked. The tone was mild and inoffensive; almost conversational. If she hadn't just shown up out of nowhere, Dadan would already have thrown her off the mountain. But not when the air reeked of doom like this.

All of the brats turned their attention toward her, and half of them brightened. The other half did not, though in the case of the redhead, Dadan figured his face was just stuck like that.

"Hi, Kei-sensei!" said the not-Sabo brat, who grinned and showed off all the teeth Ace had complained about.

"Naruto, Gaara," said the woman, nodding in the direction of both the blond kid and the redhead who hadn't said a word as the sandy badger climbed all the way up his back. To the girl with her arms up as though to block, she added, "And Fū. I'm just here to check in. Nothing too serious."

Fū continued glaring.

"Did you need us for anything, Kei-sensei?" Naruto asked. "Because other than warning this…" Naruto eyed Dadan with a skeptical squint, then said, "Other than warning the bandits about us being here, I think we were gonna go scale the mountain today."

"What the hell was that look for, brat?" Dadan demanded.

Ace shoved at the blond's arm. "Come on, there's tigers that need hunting."

"Tiger's so good!" Luffy said, instantly distracted.

"Yeah, let's go," said Fū, taking Luffy's offered hand. "How do you even eat tigers? Tell me everything."

"See, the secret is—" Sabo began, but the other two were already running off into the forest. "Hey, don't go that way!"

"Sabo, wait! Dammit, you can't keep up with someone who can fly!" Ace yelled after him, and took off immediately.

Gaara sighed deeply, then scooped up the caterpillar and the fox in addition to the sand badger. He tapped Naruto's shoulder with one hand and set off after the other brats at a brisk walk.

"See ya later, Kei-sensei," Naruto said, "and you too, uh… What am I supposed to call you?"

"It's Curly Dadan, brat! The leader of the Dadan Family of murderous bandits!" Dadan snapped.

"Okay, Granny Dadan!" he said, and rushed after the other brats before she could react. Or catch him.

"I'm no one's granny, you little blond sh—"

A hand caught Dadan's elbow.

"So, quick question," said Kei, as mild as someone telling Dadan about the weather. More so, given how the only people who reported that kind of thing to Dadan were her cowed bandits. As Dadan turned to loom over her, she continued, "Are you supposed to be looking after those three boys?"

Something in those dark eyes reminded Dadan of staring down a yawning fissure in the earth. While the other woman's demeanor was just mild enough to be casual, there was danger written into her very existence.

"Only according to their damned grandfather," Dadan said finally, breaking eye contact. "Garp threatened to have us all hauled to Impel Down unless we raised Ace, like we're babysitters instead of mountain bandits. Then Luffy, seven years later. And then they bring back a third shitty little brat just to complete the set and eat everything in sight."

"They never do any chores," said Mogra, piping up for the first time in a while.

"Or even rob people, unless it's for their little pirate fund," added Dogra. "All they used to do is show up and sass us!"

"It's been so much quieter since they moved out," Mogra concluded. "And found more brats, I guess."

Kei looked from Dadan, to Mogra, to Dagra, then back. Her expression barely shifted as she sized up each of them and—somehow—found them wanting. After a long enough pause that Dadan almost lit a cigarette out of sheer nerves, Kei finally said, "From the sound of it, you haven't met the other three before today."

"Not even once," said Dadan, fishing a squashed lighter out of her pocket. Screw appearing composed when she wasn't. "Hell if I know how we'd have even tried to feed all of them, given how much the first three brats eat. And they're probably just as stubborn as the boys."

"Likely," Kei said, shrugging. "So, a bit of background—I've known Naruto since the literal day he was born. Gaara was a bit later. And even if Fū doesn't like me, the fact that those three are hanging around together means they've basically all earned guardianship from me." Kei tilted her head up to meet Dadan's gaze. "Anything that looks at them funny has to answer to me."

Dadan couldn't quite back away from her without losing face in addition to losing ground, which was almost worse than the threat of imminent violence.

Wait, no, it wasn't.

"So, you're going to be living on the mountain now," Dadan said, in an attempt to bring the conversation back under her control. "Stay out of our way, and we'll all be happier."

"Probably," Kei agreed. She uncrossed her arms, waving a hand in the vague direction of the Goa Kingdom. "But you might want to stay away from there for the next couple of days."

Dadan blinked. High Town was full of rich targets, and most of Edge Town was Dogra's playground. And while Gray Terminal was perhaps below Dadan's attention—they were mountain bandits, mostly—she knew damn well that Ace and Sabo prowled the teetering heaps. "Why?"

"I had a disagreement with a pirate named Bluejam," Kei replied, eyeing the distant town. Without turning her head back toward the bandits, she went on, "And a number of the guards and possibly a noble, now that I think of it. They aren't very happy right now."

Through clenched teeth, Dadan managed, "Define 'unhappy,' right now."

"Can't be happy if you're dead like Bluejam," Kei said, shrugging.

There was no reaction at first, because the words did not make sense.

Kei peered up at the frozen Dadan. She tilted her head to one side. "So—"

"WHAT?!"

When Dadan and her bandits recovered from their shock and subsequent screaming, Kei stood there with both hands over her ears, clearly waiting for the noise to end. Her expression didn't shift from a tired, hard-earned patience.

"Are you done?"

"No, I'm not—" Dadan paused. Taking in the other woman's unimpressed expression, Dadan took a deep breath and gritted her teeth. Though the strain against her temper and her "You. Had something. To say. Finish your sentence."

"So, I need to go back and make sure the survivors know to stay out of my business. Bluejam's whole crew, for example," Kei said, impervious to the horrified stares of the bandits. With a shrug, she turned to leave and presumably do whatever unspecified thing that would let her get away with everything. "I'm sorry for any trouble."

"Wait, wait, wait—" Dogra stammered. Thanks to speed from panic, he bolted around the clearing in a blur, cutting off Kei's departure. "Even if you're tough, nobles might ask for Marines to come and fix their problems! They're much tougher than any of High Town's guards!"

With her back turned, Dadan couldn't see Kei's expression.

"I'll deal with it." Instead of edging past Dogra, Kei was just there and then gone.

Magra put both hands over his face. "We're going to die."

Dadan groaned. What had they ever done—besides the banditry—to deserve this?