Ex-V: I hope you like it!

"I talked to the landlord yesterday-" Emi mused, pouring herself a bowl of cereal at the breakfast table. "He said our rent is overdue."

Maou snorted, shaking his head. "We're not behind. He's behind, on his crack cocaine payments-"

Emi glared at Demon king. "He's not a crackhead-!" She hissed, defensively. "He's a nice man-!"

"His crack dealer thinks he's real nice, yeah-" Maou grinned. "Except when he owes money."

Emi sighed, exasperated. "I told you to pay the rent last Tuesday!"

"I did." Maou's eyes narrowed, aggravated. After a moment, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, pensively. "I think-"

Emi Flushed, furious. "You know what I think-?! I think I should just let Alas=Rasmus handle all of your responsibilities-!"

"That does sound like an Idea you would have-" Maou cackled. "It fits right in with all your other ridiculous decisions-"

She crossed her Arms, furious. "At last Alas=Rasmus can count to ten-!"

A brief moment silence.

"I'm not surprised to see you criminally underestimating someone, that must be a hobby of yours-" Maou smirked. "She can count to twenty five."

"Incredible-!" Emi twitched, smug, after a moment, glowering at him. "That's about as high as you can count too-"

"It's higher than you can count by twenty five though, isn't it-?" Maou fired right back.

(That night)

Emi sat, hunched over her diary, sighing, exasperated. Her pen hovered over the last line she'd written, hesitantly.

Maou forgot to pay the rent, it turns out. She wrote, brow furrowing, fuming. I have no idea why I put up with him. That guy is worse than incompetent.

She took a deep breath, thinking of his smiling face, and groaned, when her heart responded by fluttering faintly. She felt heat crawl into her cheeks, setting the pen back to the paper. For some reason, recently, when I think about Maou...

She paused, almost unwilling to commit the words to the page. My heart starts racing, and I get these weird thoughts…I dream about him, sometimes, And every night, I end up thinking about him before I fall asleep.

Emi held her head, miserable. It's awful. She wrote, being perfectly honest.

A moment of silence.

I think…She started to write, aching, agonized.

She never finished that sentence, stowing the diary away under her bed.

(The next day)

Maou and Emi wandered, with Alas=Rasmus, through a museum, as the little girl squealed, delighted, running from exhibit to exhibit. After a moment, she paused in front of a T-rex skeleton, awestruck, and pointed up at it, amazed. "Mommy-! Daddy-! Look!"

Emi smirked. "Yes, hun. It does look a lot like your father-"

"It has as much meat on it's chest as you, Emi-" Maou fired back, smug. "No, maybe more."

Emi squeaked, glaring over at him, bright red. "Look, sweetheart! This skeleton and your dad have the same amount of brain in their skulls-"

Maou grinned, twitching. "Fascinating to think that this T-rex has the same number of hearts as your mother- "

Alas=Rasmus seemed not to hear them, circling the display, ecstatic.

(An hour later)

The Hero and Demon king passed an Exhibit on the science of Liquid water, holding their daughter's hands. The Yesod fragment ran into the hall, thrilled by the huge, colorful posters all around her, explaining the molecular composition of H2o. Nearby, stands with tables had been carefully erected, supporting tiny pools of water, with little water guns and wooden sailboats floating on top.

A small group of parents had congregated around these fixtures, while their children played, laughing, with the boats and spray guns.

Alas=Rasmus ran down to the end of the hall, and Emi turned, grinning, to Maou. "You should check out some of these posters. You might learn something-"

The demon lord laughed. "I'd tell you to do the same, but…given your reading level-"

The little girl had found some room at one of the water tables, and was shooting a tiny sailboat with a water pistol, when Maou and Emi caught up to her. Maou, grinning wickedly, picked up a water gun, and sprayed Emi with it, when nobody was watching but Alas=Rasmus.

"We're in public, Asshole-!" She shrieked, whirling around to glare at him. "You made me wet-!"

Maou shook his head, villainously. "Darling, that's inappropriate. Save it for the bedroom-"

All around them, parents gaped and glared, furious. Emi trembled, radiantly red, flushed, and waved her hands desperately; realizing that the other parents thought she was upset because Maou had aroused her in a public place. "No! No, he…! It's his fault, I'm wet because of him-!"

Alas=Rasmus clapped, delighted, laughing. "Daddy makes mommy so wet-!"

The parents around them glared daggers at Maou and Emi, disbelief and outrage scrawled across their faces, hurriedly dragging their kids away from the table, covering their ears, shaking their heads. "The nerve of these young couples…" One elderly woman sighed, as Emi just gaped, furiously red, at a loss.

She turned to Maou, speechless, bright red, furious. "You-!"

Maou laughed. "Don't blame me just because you get wet easily-"

The parents shuddered and gasped, covering their mouths, glaring back at the Hero and Demon king.

Emi squealed, helplessly, blushing furiously, stomping on his foot.

(That night)

Emi drummed her fingers, at a loss, on her desk, rubbing her temples, pen in hand, preparing to write her diary entry for that day.

Never mind what I said yesterday. I hate Maou.

Silence.

Maou made a group of parents think he turned me on in public. She wrote, despondent, groaning as the memory popped up in her mind's eye. I told them that he made me wet. I'm so stupid.

She sighed, after a moment, frustrated. Somehow, he's always pulling these stupid stunts. I know his antics should be getting real old by now, but…Somehow, I'm not as mad as I want to be.

Silence.

I just wonder what he's thinking…! Does he get some kind of sick pleasure from humiliating me?

Emi held her head.

Or…Did he just want to hear me say that he makes me wet?

Emi flushed, breathing shallowly. Of course not. She wrote after a moment, furious with herself. What would that even…She shook her head, desperately, feeling heat in her face.

(The next morning)

Emi poked her head into Maou's room, at six forty-five in the morning, slightly annoyed that he wasn't awake yet. "Hey-!" She hissed, peering into the Demon Lord's bedchamber.

Maou was fast asleep, snoring, on his back, on top of the covers. She felt a vein pulse in her forehead. He's going to be late.

She stepped into his room, hands on her hips, intending to wake him, but when she made it to the side of his bed, her breath caught in her throat.

M-Maou-?! She stared, wide eyed, down at him, as he lay on his bed, snoozing; a massive, bulging erection in his briefs looked like it was threatening to burst through the thin fabric. She flushed, radiantly red, suddenly very aware that she shouldn't be here, and shouldn't be looking at him…

But, for some reason, she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Emi knelt down next to the bed, transfixed, staring at his member, slack-jawed, horrified by its massive size. N-no…

She took a deep breath. No way.

Silence.

She took another deep breath, blood boiling, flushed. No way. That's too big. Comically big, he must…he must be pranking me or something, he…

He must have stuffed a huge cucumber in there…or something-

She reached out, almost unconsciously, to touch his length, telling herself, half-subconsciously, that she was just verifying that it was fake…Of course.

To…to call him out…on…

She stopped just in time, just in time. Emi froze, in place, blood turning to ice in her veins, hand twitching, trembling, in place, hovering in the air, inches from his member.

Inches from his penis.

The hero wanted to scream, absolutely unwilling to believe that she had almost…That she'd almost…

Emi shivered, breaking out into a cold sweat, rooted to the floor. She couldn't even speak to herself in her mind, she couldn't even think of words to say, to herself…

Given that she'd almost…

She squealed, covering her mouth, blushing furiously, hopping to her feet, making desperately for the door, intent on washing her hands and face, and body, and probably just doing her whole shower over again, honestly-

He stirred, slightly, in his sleep, just as she made to walk out the door, and she paused.

A moment later, she glanced back at him, hesitantly. I…I wonder…

Emi turned back to the demon lord, slowly, tilting her head. I wonder who…He's dreaming about?

She felt furious heat surge into her cheeks, a moment later. He's having a perverted dream…! He's…He's probably molesting some girl in his mind!

She took a slow step closer to him, trembling slightly. I wonder who…?

Her eyes clouded over. Chiho? Is it…Chiho…?

Somehow, she was really sad.

Maou stirred again, shifting a bit on the bed.

"Emi…" He mumbled, at last, a moment later, unconsciously.

Silence. Nothing moved.

Emi just stared at him, breathless, speechless, radiantly red.

Silence.

She squealed, holding her face, knees weak, trembling.

Agonizing Silence.

…H-huh-?! She felt the breath leave her chest, after a moment, winded, and her heartbeat raced. Me-?! It's Me-?!

Maou turned, slightly, beginning to wake, but she was caught in her racing thoughts, and didn't notice at all.

He's… She screeched internally, horrified, almost triumphantly. What a pervert -!

The demon king rubbed his eyes, groggy.

A dream where…I…I'm making him…She stared, half terrified, half absorbed, at his dick, still throbbing in his briefs. Like this…? What am I doing in there?! What Is he doing to me-?!

Maou stretched, beginning to crack his eyes open, yawning, and Emi squeaked, mortified, suddenly realizing that she was still wearing her underwear, and was standing in his room, alone, with him, in a thong and lacy bra.

Desperately, Emi lunged towards the bed, intent on grabbing a pillow and covering his face with it, to preserve her modesty, but she tripped, yelping, falling down onto the bed, and her hand closed around something thick and long…

And warm…?

"E-Emi…?" She heard Maou's voice, and felt all the blood drain from her face.

Slowly, slowly, she looked up at him, locking eyes with him, as he stared down at her, bewildered, eyebrow rising slowly.

She just opened and closed her mouth, ineffectively, for a moment.

"Emi…" Maou said again, twitching, eyes wide, tilting his head.

She realized her hand was gripping his manhood, tightly, and her face was in his lap.

And she was alone with him, in his room, wearing a thong and a lacy bra.

The perfect storm.

Silence. Emi flushed, brilliantly red, speechless, breathless, and just stared at him, gaping, for a moment, before screeching, jumping backwards, to her feet, backpedaling furiously, back hitting the wall. Her knees gave out, she slid down the wall onto her ass, and steam poured, unbridled, from her face, as she wailed quietly, whimpering, thoughts racing, desperate to think of something to say, in vain, unable to look away from his eyes.

Another moment passed in silence, before Maou pointed, speechless, at her chest.

"W-what-?" She whispered, unable to steady her voice.

He didn't answer, and just pointed again. She followed his finger, and line of sight, down to her chest, where her bra had been yanked away, out of place, exposing her left breast and nipple.

Silence.

"N-NOOO-!"

(That night)

The demon lord sat, completely overwhelmed, on his bed, cradling his head. Passing Emi, in the kitchen, when He'd returned from work, had been a nightmare.

A nightmare.

No, his whole life was a nightmare now…

Suddenly, whenever he thought of her, whenever he saw her, his heart raced, and he couldn't avoid seeing her, exposed, trembling, in his room.

What the hell was she doing-?!

He twitched, struggling to keep his thoughts in line, laying his head back down onto the bed

Struggling to think of the hero the way he usually did.

Ex-V: Did you have fun? This idea, which is one of the four new Maou and Emi stories I've been working on the past few days, is one of the longer two. Much like a few of my previous Maou and Emi stories, it's something like a Drama and Crackfic hybrid. I've been working really hard on the second chapters to Habit and Circle recently, and I have the second chapter to Talking on the backburner as well...So I've been spending alot of time writing, between those, this, and the three other new stories...and It doesn't look like I'll be slowing down any time soon! If you're into this one, I'll upload the next chapter sometime tomorrow morning! Please, let me know what you think! Thank you so much for your time and attention!