Friday 11:43 p.m.
Today was bad.
Really bad.
Like Donkey Kong vs. Little Mac bad.
Like Master Hand and Crazy Hand Bad.
Like worse than anything I could ever imagine.
Love was in the air… for the Goddess of light and I saw her and her boyfriend doing it in her room.
I'm pretty sure I'm scared for life now but yes, I will relive the horrible moments to write it down in this book so that when I die, people will know the suffering I endured in this world. (if you're violating my diary, enjoy this sickening tale).
I heard noises.
Strange noises.
High pitched screeches.
Moans.
Groans.
Agony.
Rustling.
Begging of some sort.
Shame.
The walls had a steady beat of being pounded on. I thought to myself it sounded like Magnus was playing Fire Emblem again (that's a story for another time). I didn't' care what was happening to Palutena, it's just that the noise was keeping me awake. I knew that it was a bad idea to go check on the goddess (because for all I know, she could be torturing some poor unfortunate soul in there) but Pit said that I needed to come with him otherwise he wouldn't let me sleep. As much as I didn't want to help him I didn't want him saying "Pitto!" all night either. I'd rather go with the banging walls. So Pit and I made out way to the front of Palutena's door. When I was about to knock, Pit wanted to chicken out. He said we shouldn't be bothering "Lady Palutena" at this hour. (Why the fuck did you say we should check on her then)? I told him that we weren't going to stop till we found out what was happening (not that I gave a shit. I just wanted to sleep). I tried to open it but it was locked. The sounds stopped when I tried to open the door. All sounds stopped accept from a gasp for the woman we were trying to help and a small snicker. The laugh didn't sound ANYTHING like Palutena which threw me off and scared Pit. Pit seemed to be even more concerned about the other voice in the room. So Pit decided to ask a series of questions to the Goddess:
Are you okay?
Is someone else in there with you?
Do you need help?
What are you doing?
(Which was asked by me) Could you keep it down?
Silence.
Followed by more silence.
Finally, Palutena answered the questions (the wall banging seemed to have started half way through her first sentence).
Palutena: "Yes Pit… Ah! I–I'm fine!"
(No Response)
Palutena: "No I don't!" (Other voice (almost inaudible): "Oh yes she does…")
(No Response)
(No Response)
Whether or not Palutena was lying and wasn't responding didn't matter to me. She said she was fine and that gave me the okay to go to sleep. Pit seemed unconvinced but came back to our room anyways.
And then there was silence…
…
Silence over…
Once again, the moans, groans, and wall bashing continued and Pit bothered me into getting up one last time. I wanted to get my staff but was too tired to make an effort so we both found ourselves walking back to the door to Lady Palutena's room. This time, I wasn't wasting any time with asking questions. I place a banana in front of the door and stepped back. Pit looked at me with a confused look.
…3…
…2…
…1…
In an instant, Expand Dong—I mean— Donkey Kong had rammed the door down in his sleep and took the banana from where it was and left. Thank Game & Watch that people like Donkey Kong existed. Coming all the way from the jungle to Skyworld just for one banana. We looked into the room to check what the heck was going on in the room.
That's when we saw it.
The horror…
We saw Palutena, naked, laying with Demon Lord Ghiriham, who was also naked, in between her legs and facing her. She and the demon were panting heavily. It's not hard to imagine what they were doing in there. The following happened that night:
Two people vomiting.
One person's eyes burning.
An angel fainted.
A Goddess crying that this was "A misunderstanding!"
A dark angel that had never wanted to die more in all his life.
A Goddess that was struggling for words (and breath).
A damn good night for the Demon Lord.
A dark angel that won't be sleeping for a while.
~Bruh, Dark Pit~