A/N: This story idea began while I was listening to my Hedwig and the Angry Inch album and is inspired by "The Origin of Love". Then I stumbled upon Twist and Shout, bawled my eyes out, and then stayed up until 1:13 am writing this. Since then I have edited it and added to it. It's also my first Destiel; it's a bit AU with its background, but also follows part of the show and has now earned the esteem title as the longest one shot I have ever written. Here's my heart and soul.
Disclaimer: As always, Kripke's
The Last Time I Saw You
"A long time ago, there were three kinds of human beings: male, descended from the sun; female, descended from the earth; and androgynous, with both male and female elements, descended from the moon. Each human being was completely round, with four arms and four legs, two identical faces on opposite sides of a head with four ears, and all else to match."
- Plato
It had started while they were trying to ascend towards the gods. He had decided to lead their brethren in usurping the gods for they had grown mightier than the puny gods they had once worshipped. He was close to starting the final stage of their plan when the sky rumbled and dark clouds quickly descended. At first they had ignored the rain and drudged on, but soon it was coming down in sheets and his brethren were slipping and sliding. He was about to raise his voice above the storm and offer encouragement when the sky turned a dark red and the first one was struck.
She tumbled down the mountain, screaming to a stop. He stood in shock at what happen: she had been split in two. Blood covered one side of her and she was frantically trying to grasp at her other half, searching for the familiarity that had been ripped from her.
Lightening crashed from the sky and zig-zagged down to Earth, cutting, tearing, and ripping his brethren in two. His breathing got faster and he reached out behind himself for his other half. He grabbed his hand and held tight as he watched the carnage unfold before him. It was in that moment he was struck.
Pain coursed through his middle and he screamed in agony; it felt as if someone was trying to torturously peel him apart in the most sadistic way. He fell forward as the cut was made permanent, unbalanced now on his two feet.
The rain continued its onslaught and he felt a twisting and contorting pain as his newly exposed back healed itself before rearranging itself to his front. The hollow on his stomach frightened him as it finalized his fear: he was no longer complete, his other half was gone.
He turned his head and began to frantically search for him, the only problem was that he had no idea what he looked like. He saw his brothers and sisters crawling on the earth desperately searching and clinging to others in their sight. Deep down he knew he would be able to recognize his other half if he found him. He tried to wipe the blood away from his eyes when he saw him.
He sat sprawled out in front of him, hunting by stretching out his hands as far as they would reach to grasp at anything they could find. He pulled himself closer to him and held his face in his hands. "It's you," he whispered.
The man in front of him slowly opened his eyes and the other was shocked at how green they looked. The man reached his hands out and wiped the blood away from his eyes with the pads of his thumbs, a dumbfounded stare on his face. He tried to wipe the blood away from the green eyed man's face, but in that instant he felt a tug on his shoulder and he was whisked away.
When he opened his eyes he was surrounded by a blindingly white place, one that was foreign to him. He felt dirty in this pristine palace, blood drying on his body. He looked around and saw a bearded man in front of him, a smile on his face. "Who...who are you?"
The man's smile grew a bit. "I am your father. I pulled you from the chaos and entropy of earth, or what is left of it. I am the only one left here who can remodel this world and fix it." He let out a small sigh and he frowned. "The others were so careless to let you roam like you did. I have no doubt they will come back one day, but with my guidance perhaps they shall be kept from tainting what I have left to use. It will take a very long time to heal the earth of the ordeal it has gone through." The man looked down upon him and smiled. "And that is where you come in."
"Me," he said, uncertainty in every syllable and a small finger pointed to himself.
"Yes, you. Before this outbreak you were a good leader, looked upon and respected by others. I need you and others like you to watch over and protect the world I make."
He frowned, the man's offer sounded nice, but there had to be something prickly and sharp behind the sweet façade. He looked up at the man. "Everything comes with a price, nothing, no matter how sweet, is given without one. I have already lost the other part of me that makes me complete. What else is there of me to give to you?"
The man remained stoic. "I cannot have my warriors be persuaded away from their duties to serve the new Heaven. Each one must be loyal to the cause and its purpose. For this to succeed you must give up your search."
He shook his head. "No, my search does not end. An unspoken vow has been made between the two of us. No matter how long it takes or what means we use to achieve our goal we will find each other."
The man looked sad. "I am sorry, but just as I knew the downfall of the world you once inhabited, my chosen were decided eons ago. Fate has spoken." The man placed a finger on his forehead and a white light clouded his vision; he was struggling to keep his wits about himself. He felt his memory recede into nothing but wisps in the air. As the light dimmed the only thing he could remember was green eyes wide with fear and recognition amidst blood. He looked up at the man in front of him and croaked, "Father?"
The man greeted him with a bittersweet smile. "Rise Castiel, my son, Angel of The Lord."
-o-O-o-
Castiel knew about the species that had preceded the humans from stories his father told Castiel and the other angels.
A war had broken out amongst them and the early minor gods and the only way to stop it was to split them apart creating the humans Castiel watched over. His father had then fabricated the world he now knew out of the bloodshed and carnage left from the war. He had started simply with two people, a man and a woman, and several millennium later the human population had swelled and recovered from the near extinction.
A condition left from the earliest of wars kept the humans below on earth searching for their other half they had been split from, their soulmate. Castiel found the process odd, maddening, yet somehow enchanting. Perhaps it was because he had been around since humanity had walked earth, but it was probably more likely caused by the bitter truth that angels had no soulmates. They had been made the way they had: unattached, singular, alone, so that they could serve both Heaven and earth with all of their being. No distractions. However at times, a flash of green eyes would appear in his mind as the old tales were recounted or when he watched as humans fell shamelessly in love.
In fact those teasing green eyes, giving him hope, had sent him off course of his duty often. At times when he was supposed to watch over humanity he found himself inexplicably searching for green. He saw it everywhere in this new world. Grass, trees, frogs, birds, vegetables, fruits, and as the years went by saw it in paint, houses, cars, bicycles, clothes, shoes and so much more. And as the years dragged on with humanity changing the world his father had built and becoming farther and more distant from what it had started as Castiel forgot those green eyes. The memory became hazy and muddled with the years, decades, centuries, and millenniums, until it was just a wisp of a thought.
And as humanity had grown it had become quite tedious watching them. To Castiel all it seemed was that they repeated themselves constantly, nothing new ever happened. Until one day a baby was born.
It was a mundane occurrence to him at the beginning, just another babe being brought into the world only to be destined to scavenge and claw with desperation in a hopeless search for his other half. To be perfectly honest, Castiel had never witnessed soulmates finding each other, or perhaps if he had it wasn't as spectacular as it appeared in his mind. Or perhaps it was far beyond the comprehension of the observing angel. But something felt different with this babe.
Castiel watched as the babe's mother looked adoringly at her new son, letting his chubby fingers circle around her slender finger as she stroked his cheek. "Hello Dean," she whispered softly down to the babe. The child scrunched up his nose before opening his eyes to gaze at his mother's face. They were green, but not just any green.
His.
Castiel recoiled in fear and quickly turned away from the scene he was watching play out. Fear crawled around his body and he shook with the revelation. He had a soulmate.
Or perhaps it was all just a cruel cosmic joke.
After all, it had been made very clear to him many times as he grew that angels did not have soulmates, it would deviate them from their mission to serve Heaven. But then why did his memory of green eyes persist? And what were they doing in a human babe? He was aching to see the child again, but Castiel couldn't risk it, especially if it was his soulmate. Humans and angels did not interact. Ever. Which is why he never questioned the rules of angels and their lack of soulmates.
He hid himself in a quiet corner of Heaven as he came to terms with this revelation, what it would mean to him, Heaven, earth, and the green-eyed babe resting in his mother's arms. Castiel paused at that thought. He was only a babe, there was no guarantee he was his soulmate. What if he never grew into those eyes, becoming the man whose face was resurfacing in Castiel's mind like a sunk boat coming out of the bottom of a lake? Only time would tell what kind of person he would become and if he was Castiel's soulmate.
-o-O-o-
Dean Winchester never ceased to surprise Castiel. He watched this green-eyed human as he grew from the babe in his mother's arms, a toddler walking on uneven grass, to the child being forced to grow into a man he was not ready to become, and into a man whose sorrows Castiel could feel all the way from his perch far above the earth. As Dean grew Castiel saw less and less of him as his duties to Heaven increased and he no longer had the pleasure of leisurely watching over Dean to make sure he came to no harm. He didn't notice Dean's descent into the supernatural or the times the child would be wielding a gun or brandishing a knife to protect the ones he loved. He missed this aspect of Dean's life until one day he witnessed the young teen performing a salt and burn on a corpse. Castiel was horrified by the emotionless look on Dean's face, leaving him wondering why a boy on the cusp to manhood would already look like he had passed that stage of his life years ago.
Now Castiel struggled with his own belief in the father that had guided him and the silence that followed his prayers. He dived down into a spiral of self-doubt and was pulled out by one thing: Dean.
The now grown man was stuck in perdition, a place Castiel avoided as it was not his place or jurisdiction. But as Dean's time there grew longer, Castiel's longing to help the green-eyed man increased. He lasted until he could bare it no more and he raced down from Heaven like a meteor to pull Dean back up. As he placed a hand on his shoulder Castiel felt a strong pulse rack through his body and the memory that had long since become murky and unclear after years of reviewing it came into crystal clear focus.
He felt raw and exposed, searching, aching for him. In the sea of broken souls he found him. Blood on his face, shock building in his eyes as the realization something was missing sunk in. Hands scrabbled and scraped the earth for his missing piece. Castiel reached out his hand to touch him and Dean looked up at him with those green eyes before slowly reaching up to wipe away the blood revealing Castiel's blue orbs.
Castiel breathed heavily once the memory dissipated and he stared at his hand burning Dean's shoulder. Spreading his wings wide, Castiel rocketed towards the surface with Dean in hand. Tears spilled from his eyes as he realized his fears: Dean was his soulmate.
-o-O-o-
And so began Castiel's relationship with Dean Winchester. As the years trailed along Castiel kept his secret. He had no idea if Dean knew of the soulmate situation; it wasn't something most humans knew of precisely. Only one had truly understood, but the average person, especially a hunter, didn't read Plato's more interesting theories often. As far as humans were concerned love had always been around; it wasn't a curse left behind as a cruel reminder of what humanity once had. So to spare Dean's feelings, Castiel stayed mum on the subject and didn't think much of the man's many dalliances. In fact as his friendship with the hunter grew he found it both perplexingly easier and harder to restraint himself. So on a seemingly normal day when Castiel heard Dean's prayer he thought nothing of it as blinked over to the Winchesters.
With a flutter he appeared inside a motel standing in front of Dean. "Hello Dean," Castiel said with a smile. He looked around him and saw the younger Winchester, Sam, sitting at a table covered in papers and staring at his laptop. "Hello Sam."
Sam looked up from his laptop and smiled. "Oh, hey Cas."
"So what is it you need Dean," asked Castiel.
Dean pushed Castiel towards Sam and his work station. "We got a case you might know something about."
Sam leaned back away from the laptop and clicked on to a different web page. "So five couples have been found dead wrapped around each other with an arrow being lodged between both of them, the latest being here in Beatrice, Nebraska."
"Perhaps it is a vengeful Cupid," pointed out Castiel.
"That's what we thought it might be until we went down to the morgue to see the latest couple and talked with one of the police detectives working on the case. He had talked with the people who ID'd the bodies and both claimed neither of them knew each other. And when we searched around in the four previous cases the victims didn't know each other either. We also got the photos the police took when they first arrived on the scene. Adding this one to the other four they all share one very vital thing in common beyond just not knowing the other person. The arrow enters through the back of one partner, exits through their belly button before entering the belly button of the other one and then exiting. Perfect shot every time," explained Sam.
"Leaves them shish-kabobbed for the police to find them," added Dean.
Sam gave him a glare before typing something in the search bar and clicking on a different page. "I looked at different myths and the only one that might match it is this one." He pointed to the screen and Castiel leaned in closer to see it. Sam continued his explanation. "Plato had this really weird theory about how love first developed in humans. He claims that everyone used to be two people together, like back to back, and there was three genders: male, female and androgynous. Anyway, because they were so strong the gods were afraid that they would overrule them. So, Zeus used his lightning bolts to cut each of them in half to create two different people. Then Apollo sewed the hole left from the cut and moved it to the front of them, we know them as our belly buttons, so that we would always be reminded of our crime. If that wasn't enough of a warning, Zeus threatened to cut us in half again. This was all too much for the people because when they would find their other half they would cling to them and never let go. Zeus took pity on them...and that's how sex came to be. It was a way for the couples to feel whole again, to gain satisfaction on some level..." Sam paused and frowned as he read farther down the article.
"What is it," asked Dean as he leaned over his brother's shoulder and grabbed a beer off the table.
"It says here that Zeus and the other gods agreed to do this so that humans would worship them again. The pursuit of love was supposed to be some kind of submissive respect to them; put them in their place. And the one god that profited the most from it was Eros."
Castiel sucked in his breath at recognition. Dean looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. Castiel shook his head slightly.
Sam continued. "In Greek mythology Eros is the god of love. In the Greek myths he was more aggressive than his Roman counterpart and was depicted as a young man, normally he was associated with infidelity."
"What about that hot chick? Aphrodite? I thought she was the goddess of love," asked Dean.
"She is, but more like infatuation, the beauty of love. So in some myths Eros is her son, but in others he isn't. That's what changes the perspective of how strong of a god he is. He profits from humans' search for love. It's like an offering to him," Sam turned towards Dean and Castiel. "Do you think this is who we're dealing with?"
Dean took a swig of his beer. "Well, normally doesn't he strike people with arrows so they fall in love? Not gank them."
Sam shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe he's angry? Cas, do you know anything about him? A lot of the lore depicts him as an angel."
Castiel shuffled awkwardly and shifted his gaze between both Winchesters. "I have heard of him. I have never seen him, but I knew of his existence. He's more of a whisper among us. I did not know he was related to this tale."
Sam closed his laptop and stretched his long arms. "Well until we can find a motive or prove that it is Eros, we're stuck. And figure out why the couples who aren't even really couples are being targeted." He stood up and walked towards the door. "I'm gunna go grab some food. I'll be back in a bit." Sam grabbed a key to the motel room and left.
Dean sat down on one of the beds, beer still in hand, and he turned on the television. Castiel looked at the glowing screen and sat down on the other bed, mindlessly staring at what was happening on the television. "Do you believe in it?"
Dean turned his head to face Castiel. "What?"
He fumbled with his fingers awkwardly. "The myth. Don't most of the tales and mythology you encounter come true?"
Dean shrugged his shoulders and took another swig of his beer. "Does it really matter? Most of the time only the monster is true from the stories, never any of the good stuff."
"Have you ever thought of the idea of soulmates?"
"Honestly? It's for people like Sam. The ones who still hope to find someone in this goddam world." He shrugged his shoulders and looked past the television screen. "If I ever had that in me I lost it a hell of a long time ago. There's never going to be anyone permanent like that in my life."
"What about me?"
"What about you Cas?"
He tilted his head. "Am I not a somewhat permanent part of your life?"
"Yeah, but..." Dean paused and flicked his eyes up and down Castiel. "Not like that."
"Oh."
The conversation died there and Castiel watched as Dean finished off his beer and watched a movie on the television. Castiel hadn't had much time to let the boys' current case sink in. By the looks of it Sam was correct in his assumption that it had to do with that particular myth, but something was nagging him in the back of his head. And then it struck him.
He looked over at Dean and realization washed over him. The myth was very much real; him and Dean had lived and survived through it. Which also meant undoubtedly Eros was the cause for all of it.
The only problem was how to broach this topic with his new found information to the Winchesters. It meant that he would be putting his relationship with Dean on the line, and if their earlier conversation was proof, Dean wasn't all the interested in him.
Or perhaps he couldn't remember.
Castiel decided to wait until much later when both Winchesters were asleep to gently tip toe over to Dean's bed. The older Winchester was sprawled out on the full sized mattress, his hair sticking up in tufts, the sheets bunched up around his waist, and a soft snore escaping from his lips on occasion. Castiel sat down on the bed, the mattresses dipping and creaking with the added weight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
It was different than entering somebody's dream; he arrived with intention to change it, so possibly Dean would believe him when he told both of the boys the truth. However when he arrived inside Dean's dream he was not expecting what he saw. In fact he was already there.
Castiel looked down at his hands and saw the blood on them much clearer than the last time he saw them as he raised Dean from perdition. He looked up and saw green through red before he felt something pierce through his back.
Castiel was pulled out of Dean's dream in shock and looked around, but no one was there. He stood up from the bed, breathing heavily, and circled around in fear. With a sigh he sat down in a chair at the table and let his hand fall into his head.
-o-O-o-
Castiel blinked as he watch Sam work away on his laptop while Dean groggily picked himself up off his bed. "Good morning Dean."
Dean looked at Castiel with a different kind of look. A bit puzzled, almost with a bit of hesitant remembrance.
"Hey, I think I might have something. Another couple. This time in Omaha. You wanna head out," said Sam.
Dean rubbed at his eyes and yawned. "Sure, Cas you comin'?"
"Of course Dean. We have to finish this case," replied Castiel.
The Winchesters and Castiel packed up the Impala and soon they were headed out on the road.
-o-O-o-
Castiel sat on the bed of the new motel room and watched as Dean straightened his tie. "We should be back soon; we just have to head down to the morgue."
He nodded. "Of course."
Sam pulled on his suit jacket and shook it out to arrange it. "If you can think of anything that might help with the case don't hesitate to call. See ya later."
"And the same to the both of you," added Castiel.
He watched as the brothers left the motel room and Castiel sunk lower on to the bed. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Flashes from before kept popping up in his head, the blood and the loss eating away at his core. Castiel fell back on the bed in pain, the headache blooming in his head seared across his mind like a supernova; the intensity made him close his eyes and he tried to focus on sweeping the pain away. Not unlike anything he had ever done in the past for himself, other angels, or the Winchesters. "Cas…Cas…wake up! What the hell is going on? Sam! Somethings up with Cas." Castiel groaned at Dean's voice, but the pain didn't let up. "C'mon!" He felt a sharp push on his shoulder and the pain cleared up, receding back in his mind and he blinked his eyes to focus. He was met with worried green eyes staring down back at him. "You okay Cas," asked Dean as he helped Castiel sit up.
Castiel held his forehead in his hand and squeezed his eyes shut. "Why are you back so early?"
He heard heavy footsteps and the tell-tale sign of Sam's laptop starting up. "Cas, we were gone for almost three hours. What's going on?"
He opened his eyes and looked over at Dean, worry marring his expression and concern in his eyes. "I don't know Dean. I truly don't know."
"Will figure it out Cas, don't worry," assured Sam.
Cas nodded slowly, but he still felt a sharp bolt of pain. "Don't worry about me. It is nothing that I can't handle. Please tell me how your trip went."
Sam leaned back in his chair and loosened his tie. "Went to the morgue and it was the same as before. Arrow straight through the stomach, both of them didn't know each other and were in seemingly fine relationships. Relatives on both sides didn't note anything out of the ordinary."
"Except for the one vic, Erin Johansson, her mother said that she had been complaining of migraines the day before the murder, but she said it was normal. She said her daughter had them on occasion, but Erin reported visions with them. Her mother thought she was just exaggerating," explained Dean.
"Maybe there's something to it. I'll see if I can dig up more myths about Eros," said Sam and he hunkered down at his laptop.
Dean opened a beer and handed it to Sam before grabbing another and opening it as well. "Ya feeling any better?" He sat down next to Cas and took a swig.
"I think, don't worry about me Dean. You have more important things to focus on."
"You're important too Cas. You're family."
Castiel's lips curled up a bit in a small smile. "Thank you, Dean."
"Yeah, you're welcome." He looked at Cas, but cleared his throat and quickly looked away. "Got anything new Sammy?"
-o-O-o-
The Winchesters had fallen asleep after another night of fruitless searching for any way to find Eros, which would not have done any good either since they hadn't found a way to kill him either. Castiel watched as Dean slept, chest rising up and down as he breathed, every now and then his fingers twitching as if he was trying to grab something in his sleep. Castiel fidgeted as he debated the consequences of his plan. He wanted to try and reach out to Dean in his dream again, but after last time, and especially after the look Dean gave him that previous morning, Cas wasn't sure what to do.
Summoning up his courage he decided to try one more time. For the good of the investigation. He closed his eyes to focus and soon he was awash in Dean's dream.
Castiel looked around and noticed they were in the bunker. Dean was lying on his bed, the credits for some movie or show playing on the TV screen. "Dean…Dean!"
The older Winchester jolted out of his light slumber and blinked back at the harsh lights. "Jesus Cas, can't a guy get some sleep around here?"
"Unfortunately, no. I came in here to tell you something."
Dean scooted over and patted the spot next to himself on the bed. "C'mon on then. What's so damn important you woke me up?"
"Dean, it's me. I know you are not a fan of me entering your dreams, but this pertains to the case. I just didn't figure you would want Sam to know."
He frowned. "Why would it matter if Sam knew?"
Cas bit his lower lip. "Some of the information is sensitive."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Cas, just say it."
"Well the thing is-"
He was ripped back with a shock and he looked down and saw Dean still sleeping, but something sharp was pressed against his back. "Ssh, don't wake him up. Not yet. And don't even think about the other one coming to your rescue. This matter does not concern him. He won't be able to help you until long after it's over."
Castiel slowly turned his head around and saw a curly, golden haired man with harsh, blue eyes pointing a short blade to his back. Great golden wings sprung from his back, matching his hair, and light glittered and reflected off from the pale moonlight and neon coming in from the window. "Eros," whispered Castiel.
The golden god smiled wickedly. "In the flesh, little one."
"You have no right being here and killing."
Eros clicked his tongue disapprovingly at Castiel. "You are out of your depth; you have no idea of what you speak of." He looked beyond him and smirked at where Dean lay still asleep. "Well, perhaps a bit. But I couldn't have you going around and ruining my work. Especially by telling this one," he leaned forward and ran his fingers along Dean's jaw and Castiel felt rage and jealousy flood through him, "about it."
"What is it you want," growled Castiel.
Eros moved the knife away from his back and moved to face Castiel. "I'm just doing my job kiddo. Not that I have anything against this, but…"
He felt his face heat up and he knew it was slightly red. "Eros-"
"Ah, ah, ah. It's not fair for you to object without the other one getting a say." Eros snapped his fingers and Dean woke up.
"Cas? What the hell are you doing in my-son of a bitch?" Dean reached under his pillow and pulled out a gun and aimed it at Eros. "I don't give a damn why you're here, but you're going to regret you came."
Eros chuckled and with a wave of his hand Dean's gun flew out of his grasp and hit the wall. "All's fair in love and war, kiddo."
"Cas, who is this bastard," said Dean through clenched teeth.
"Eros, the god of love."
"Well, I'd love to keep chatting with you, but I have some collecting to do," announced Eros.
"Collecting," asked Castiel.
"Yes, the last of those from the beginning. The ones who walked the earth long before these modern humans." A golden bow materialized in Eros's hand and a quiver on his back. "Ya see, Zeus doesn't mind that the normal ones fall in love and let me tell you their follies taste so delicious, but the ones from the beginning were spread over the course of time and it's my job to watch them. Some are allowed to be together and when they do," Eros sucked in a breath and smiled eerily, "it's heavenly." He glared at Dean and Cas and grinned wickedly. "But there are some like you." He flicked his arm and Cas and Dean were flung to the wall. "Who just can't be allowed to go on. Nothing against you both, but you were very, very naughty then." He licked his lips and walked back away from the wall.
Cas and Dean struggled against the imaginary restraints. Dean growled. "You son of a bitch. Let us go damn it! So help me God, when I get down-"
Eros waved his hand again and Dean's voice was muffled. "Really how can you handle him? I mean, no worries, you won't have to for long, but…"
"Why are you killing them, Eros," asked Castiel softly.
"Because Zeus decreed it as such. The leaders of the uprising must never meet again or they had the possibility to go against him once more. But for some reason lately they just seem to be popping up everywhere." Eros smirked. "I actually had to do some work this century." He looked back at Dean and Cas. "Though we never thought you two would be a problem. The other guy upstairs took care of that when he made you one of his chosen ones, but you just had to find him." He pulled a golden arrow covered in markings from the quiver and aligned it with the bow. "But like I said, no big deal." He waved his hand and the boys fell to the ground, Dean cursing as he fell. Eros grinned. "I'm looking forward to this. To watch you scream. To watch you run."
Dean stood up and pulled a knife out and held it up to his neck. "I'm not gonna let you do that."
"You think that can stop me?"
"No," said Castiel as he appeared behind Eros. "But this most certainly will." With a flick of his wrist Castiel's angel blade appeared and he speared Eros through the back, the blade piercing through his chest. Eros's eyes glowed a bright and harsh white and the god screamed as he convulsed and fell to the floor. Castiel pulled the blade out, slicked with golden blood and watched stony eyed as the god before him fell and disappeared into a cloud of golden feathers.
"Cas, what the hell. He was a freakin' god," said Dean in shock.
Castiel looked at the spot where Eros once stood. "I'm not quite sure what just happened either."
"Jesus, I didn't know you could do that. With you know, that."
"There are a lot of things you don't know Dean." He sat back down on the bed and Dean sat by him, the dip created by the bed brought them slightly closer together. "Dean, did you know what Eros was talking about?"
"About the ones from before Yeah," Dean paused and bit his lower lip. "He was talking about those soulmates Sam read about."
Cas looked down at his hands and asked the question he had been wanting to know the answer to for years; now all he wanted was for Dean to say it, not for him to see it in a dream. "Do you remember...before?"
Dean was silent as he observed the well-worn carpet on the floor. "Yes." Castiel was about to say something, but Dean continued. "I saw a glimmer of it when you raised me from perdition. And I saw it again yesterday in my dream, only so much clearer. He sighed and looked at him. "Cas, how long have you known, or at least remembered?"
"The beginning," he said in a low whisper.
Dean let out a low, self-deprecating chuckle. "I feel like a jackass now."
Castiel reached out and grabbed Dean's closest hand and ran his fingers through Dean's. "Don't be. How were we either of us supposed to know?"
"One of us could have done something."
Castiel snorted. "You weren't making it easy."
Dean gripped his hand tighter. "I was scared."
Castiel's look soften and he used his other hand to run his fingers through Dean's short hair. "You don't have to be now." Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed him lightly. Dean pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders as he let the kiss become more heated. Castiel let go of the guilt he had been harboring for years as Dean's friend and now let all the love he felt for him then transfer to a new title: soulmate.
-o-O-o-
Castiel woke up and the first thing that he noticed was that he slept. The second was that he was snuggled into Dean's chest with the man's arms wrapped around his waist. "Good morning," he whispered and placed a quick kiss on Dean's cheek.
Dean woke up and looked at Castiel through tired eyes, but he smiled. "Hey Cas."
"I clearly missed something," said Sam quite loudly scaring the couple.
"Damn it Sammy, don't sneak up on us," said Dean.
Sam rolled his eyes. "It's a motel room Dean. There really is no sneaking up on anyone."
Castiel untangle himself from Dean and sat up. "Your case is closed anyhow, so you'll be able to return to the bunker."
Sam raised an eyebrow. "What were you two doing last night?"
"A little of this, a little of that," remarked Dean vaguely.
"Well, I'll be-somewhere. Actually, I can start packing the Impala. You two better help though," added Sam at the end with a death glare before he grabbed a duffel and left.
"Wow, a bit dramatic," asked Dean.
"Yes," responded Castiel tersely. A bit quieter he added. "I love you."
Dean grinned and kissed Castiel quickly. "I love you too."