Becs2202, thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you like the comparisons with the Taylor situation - that was one of the first things that struck me about the episode.

Tato Potato, aw thank you so much! I love your reviews. I've enjoyed writing about Cal caring for Ethan - it's usually the other way around in my stories!

VictoriaAnnxx, sorry, but I won't end the story there as I've written another chapter! I'm really glad you like it so far apart from the drug addict thing. I really regret writing that now. Thank you for your review.

LittleBritishPerson, I'm sure Ethan would be very grateful for your hugs! I wanted to hug him when I was watching the episode. Even when he was soaking wet! Thank you for the review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review - I'm really happy you enjoyed the chapter. I had to write some patient, gentle Lofty after he was left out of the episode!

CBloom2, I love Cal like this too, but of course I do love Cal no matter what he does, pretty much! Thank you for your review.

ETWentHome, thank you so much for your review. I'm really happy you like it. I didn't think I could really leave Cal in the dark for any longer!

ProfessorElk, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I'm happy you enjoyed it, even though it was sad.

I know a lot of you thought it was the end, but there is just one more chapter. I hope it's not an anticlimax.

Cal did his best to fight his emotions, but the knowledge that someone would do that to his baby brother, and that his baby brother blamed himself for her actions, broke Cal's heart.

Cal took another glance at his brother through a mist of tears, assured himself he was still asleep and that his vital signs were okay, and then rushed out into the corridor as his tears overwhelmed him. Uncaring of passers-by, he leaned against the wall and sobbed out all his anger and helplessness. He'd done everything he could for Ethan and would continue to do so, but he knew it might never be enough.

He knew that no matter how many times he told Ethan he wasn't to blame, it wouldn't stop Ethan from blaming himself. He could be living with the guilt forever. The guilt that wasn't even his.

Why did it have to be Ethan? Why couldn't Bonnie have chosen Cal instead? It would probably have left him in a worse mess than Ethan because Ethan was so much stronger than him, but at least then Ethan wouldn't be blaming himself.

If Cal had been a better brother, this might not even have happened. He was a bit hazy on how he could have stopped it; he couldn't keep an eye on his brother at every moment. Even if he had been working tonight, he might easily have not seen Bonnie and even if he had, he wouldn't have thought anything of it.

But if Cal had really paid attention to Bonnie instead of laughing at Ethan for making his feelings so obvious, he might have seen what Ethan had missed.

Cal hadn't seen what Taylor was like, but that was different. Cal had actually been in love with Taylor, so her faults had been invisible to him. Bonnie was hot, but Cal hadn't loved her. He should have seen what she was like and warned Ethan.

Then Cal realised that wouldn't have helped. Ethan wouldn't have listened to him. If he'd been a better brother; if he'd watched out for Ethan as he should have done, then Ethan might have listened, but he hadn't been a good brother. All he'd done was make Ethan's life a misery. He'd left him to deal with their mother's illness alone. He'd made Ethan's life hell because his mother had given Ethan power of attorney over his inheritance. He'd teased him, taunted him, abused his hospitality by getting drunk and bringing one-night stands home… and then he'd stolen from him. His little brother.

All Cal could do was try to make up for it, but he couldn't help thinking it was too late. Ethan had been so short with him lately. He'd been impatient with Cal when he'd felt like a waste of space and completely dismissive of Cal's chances of becoming a consultant. He'd probably had enough of Cal and was just waiting for him to do something bad enough to give him an excuse to throw him out.

But then Cal remembered.

He remembered the way Ethan had come to him tonight when he was upset, unwell and confused. He remembered how Ethan had clung to him in terror and sobbed in his arms.

He remembered the comforting hug Ethan had given him, even in the midst of his own distress.

No, there was still a chance, Cal told himself as he lifted up his top and wiped his face on it. It was a pyjama top. Cal had brought Ethan to the ED without dressing him properly and felt terrible about it, but he hadn't even given a thought to what he was wearing. He wondered if he'd done his hair and touched it experimentally, realising immediately that he hadn't.

Cal waited for the embarrassment, but it didn't come. Because it wasn't important.

Nothing mattered but Ethan.

The tears filled Cal's eyes again and he sobbed against the wall once more, but then he heard someone say his name and put gentle hands on Cal's shoulders, slowly turning him away from the wall and firmly hugging him.

"I think the cubicle just over here is empty," said Lofty. "So we can hijack it for now."

Cal knew it wasn't officially allowed, but he didn't care. They sat on the bed and Lofty hugged him again and didn't say anything else for a while. He probably knew that all Cal needed was to be held: to draw on someone else's strength after using so much of his own. Lofty had more strength than a lot of people realised. More than Cal had realised, if he was honest. Lofty was a very good nurse, but everyone tended to forget that because of his inclination to clumsiness.

But Cal didn't think he could ever forget how kind Lofty had been to Ethan.

Lofty held Cal until he'd stopped crying. "I'll get you a cup of tea."

"I need to go back to Ethan," said Cal anxiously. He didn't want Ethan to see him like this, but he'd been away for too long already.

Lofty nodded. "That's fine. I'll bring the tea to Ethan's cubicle."

"Thanks, Lofty." Cal sniffed. "Sorry for being stupid."

"You're not being stupid," said Lofty, his voice gentle but full of conviction. He patted Cal's arm and they left the cubicle together.

Cal was dozing in the chair beside Ethan's bed when he heard his brother cry out. He woke up at once: a glance was enough to tell him Ethan was asleep. Cal moved to his side and shook him gently.

"Ethan, it's all right. You're having a nightmare. It's not real. It's all over now. You're safe in the hospital and the drug's out of your system and I'm right here."

"No, no, no," Ethan was sobbing.

Cal shook him a bit harder. "Ethan, open your eyes. It's just a nightmare."

Ethan went still and some of the rigidity left his body. He opened his eyes and blinked short-sightedly up at Cal. "It is my fault."

"No, it's not," said Cal. He'd said it many times already. He knew he'd have to say it many times more. But he was determined he would never grow impatient with his brother. He would say it every day for the rest of their lives if he had to.

But he hoped he wouldn't have to because he couldn't bear for Ethan to feel this way for the rest of his life.

"It's not your fault," said Cal. He let go of Ethan's shoulders and took his hands in his. Ethan's eyes were wide and frightened, but no longer dilated or unfocused. "It's not your fault, Ethan. I know that; Zoe knows that; Robyn knows that; Iain knows that. The police know that as well. All you did was make a reasonable suggestion which any doctor or nurse in your position might have made. I've given that advice myself. So has Zoe. So have most of the doctors in the ED. You're responsible for giving the advice, but you're not responsible for how the patient interprets it. You couldn't have known how Bonnie would twist your words. Nobody could have predicted that. It's not your fault, Ethan."

Ethan gave a little sigh and closed his eyes as more tears spilled onto his cheeks.

Cal wiped them away and sat beside Ethan on the bed. "You've done nothing wrong, Ethan. Everything you've done today – and everything you've done with regard to Bonnie – has always been right. You saw that a crime had been committed and you were strong enough and brave enough to push your feelings aside and do the right thing. I couldn't do that. I needed you to help me."

Ethan shook his head. "No. Different."

"Not really," said Cal. "The difference was between us. You were strong and I was weak." His voice wavered but then filled with intensity. "But it won't be like that again, Ethan. I'm going to do better now. I'm going to be better. I'm not saying I'll get it right every time. I'm not like you. But I'm going to try. I'm going to help you get through this. I want to look after you like you've looked after me." He looked anxiously at Ethan. "It's not too late is it?"

"No. Never." Ethan cuddled closer to Cal and closed his eyes.

Cal stroked his hair and thought how lucky he was to have Ethan. Anyone would be lucky to have Ethan for a brother, but Cal felt he was especially lucky after all the pain he'd caused Ethan. He didn't deserve him, but he was here and holding on to Cal.

"Night time?" murmured Ethan.

Cal smiled. "It's daytime, Nibbles, and Zoe says you'll probably be discharged soon, but you go back to sleep if you're tired. If you have another nightmare, I'll wake you up again. As many times as it takes. Okay?"

Ethan nodded and the corner of his mouth lifted just slightly.

His first smile. His first smile since it had happened.

Actually the first smile Cal had seen from him for weeks.

Cal remembered the first time Ethan had ever smiled at him, so many years ago. He'd felt so special and so lucky to have a little brother. He felt like that again now. "Can you close your eyes for me?"

Ethan closed his eyes.

"That's right," said Cal. He stroked Ethan's hair. "It's going to be okay, Nibbles. I'm right here. You did the right thing and I'm proud of you. Very proud."

Cal listened to Ethan's breathing change as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Ethan," whispered Cal. "And this time I won't forget it."