Magical Mayhem, Slap-Dick Comedy & Plans

The first thing Regina noticed as she began to stir awake was that she wasn't alone. The second she noticed was the body pressed up against her back, an arm slung below her breasts. What she noticed last? Breasts were pressed up against her back but what confused her… was she was pretty sure that was a male appendage pressed up against the gap between her buttocks. Regina squirmed. Who was wrapped around her?

She raked her memory for the day before. Emma had come rushing over, something about a magical emergency. Someone cursing folks, wreaking havoc on the town. Ruby had been turned into a puppy, Granny into a dog, Pongo into a person, Archie into a giant cricket (That had been freaky.) not to mention they could still all talk. Then Hook had suddenly become fascinated with makeup and dresses and Hood was running through the forests in only a scrap of cloth, screaming like an ape and climbing trees. The town had gone out of control and only a handful of Storybrooke citizens had yet to be hit.

Emma and Regina had hurried to Gold's where Belle had reverted to Lacey, and was raging at Gold who looked just like his old Enchanted Forest self. He was too preoccupied with attempting to restrain Lacey to be of any big help. The most he could do was tell Regina and Emma that he knew nothing about what had happened, only that it wasn't a simple curse and it reeked of some kind of strange magic.

Stirring from behind Regina brought her alarmingly back to the present. The arm slung below her breast left her to stretch. The person behind her yawned as they began to wake. Regina took this opportunity to turn over and look and nearly flew off the bed in shock. She would have if not for the fact that she was naked. She clutched the sheet covering her form to her chest as she stared wide-eyed at her bed partner. One, Emma Swan was bare as the day she was born in her bed.

Regina pulled herself out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her figure and clutching it to her chest.

"Miss Swan!" Regina blurted out before she could stop herself.

Emma's eyes popped open then. She stared wild-eyed at Regina glaring over at her.

"R-r-regina?" Emma spluttered.

"Why are you naked? Why am I naked? Is this your bedroom?!" Each question fell from Emma in fast succession in her panic.

Regina clenched her jaw and continued to glare.

"If I knew do you think we would be in this situation?" Regina spat.

Emma squirmed, rubbing her legs against one another, then she looked down and back up at Regina in surprise.

"IS THAT A PENIS?" Emma screeched. She slapped her hands over her groin then leaned over groaning.

"Okay, that hurt! It's real! Why do I have a dick?! Regina?" Emma whined from her fetal position.

Regina shook her head.

"I have no clue Miss Swan, just as I have not the slightest idea as to why we woke up naked in bed together." She felt a blush rising up her chest. She knew they were getting closer, but this close, this quickly? She wasn't ready for this.

Emma stared up at Regina.

"What the hell happened yesterday?"

Regina shook her head.

"I suggest we get cleaned up for the day and attempt to figure that out."

Emma nodded.

"You can use the guest bathroom, there should be towels in the hall closet. If you need to borrow fresh clothing, feel free to get what you need from my closet.

"Right." Emma agreed. She looked back down at her crotch. It twitched each time Regina spoke.

"Something wrong, Emma?" Regina asked.

Emma shook her head. Then she sighed.

"Can you umm…. Go into the bathroom? It's just umm… with you in the sheet, and all…." Emma blushed and indicated her new appendage.

Regina fought the smirk attempting to overtake her features. She raised a brow.

"Right. I'll get into the shower, you can do what you need." With that, Regina turned away and made her way into her bathroom.

Emma watched her go. Her lower abdomen twitching and fighting the urge to groan as her male appendage moved. The sight of Regina's figure walking away was too much for her right now. If only she could remember last night.

What happened? They had gone to the convent, the fairies had been in disarray, someone had broken into their store of fairy dust and some special flowers they had been cultivating. Apparently whoever had stolen them had combined them with some other type of magic to change Nova into a cherub. That had been weird. Blue had flown up to them in a tiny form something Emma had not been ready for.

Blue only knew whoever had stolen the fairy dust and flowers was using them to transform members of the town. She didn't know who or why.

Emma stood up once she knew she had her new appendage under control and stepped into Regina's closet. She picked out a shirt. She searched around for the loosest pair of pants Regina owned. She hoped there was enough space in the lower area. Opening a drawer, Emma found Regina's underwear drawer and she looked up to the ceiling counting backwards from 50. A tug from her lower regions told her how she was responding physically to Regina's lingerie.

Emma picked out a bra that looked like it might fit her. Emma sighed, forlorn, she would have to forgo underwear. She wasn't sure how these male parts would handle it, not to mention there was definitely nothing in Regina's underwear drawer suited for a woman with a dick.

Emma looked down at the appendage, and squinted, reaching for her magic. She concentrated attempting to will it away, she felt her magic but anytime it went to the appendage it was turned away. Emma groaned as it also caused that tugging sensation to increase and the appendage to rise.

She thought of numbers and began to do math in her head.

Hurrying out of the bedroom, Emma looked up and down the hallway, darting to the hall closet, grabbed a towel, and ran into the bathroom. Was Henry home? She hoped not. She turned on the shower and climbed in, letting the warm water slide over her.

What was the last thing she remembered? Leaving the convent. That was it. It was blank from there. She didn't remember anything after that.

Emma sighed as the warmth slid over her skin. She grabbed the bottle of shower gel, some male brand their teenage son was now using and squirted some into the palm of her hand. Rubbing it over her body, Emma had forgotten about her new male part until now.

Emma glared down at the foreign appendage. How did she end up with this? She ran a finger over it, it wasn't small, but it wasn't too big either, the girth, she knew, would be something just right at that zone for some women. She felt around lower, beneath it, and sighed in relief. No balls. She still had her female parts too.

What had happened last night? She really wished she could remember. After all, it wasn't like she got to wake up naked with Regina every day. The thought of Regina naked sent a tugging sensation to Emma's lower parts and she groaned. She was getting hard.

She thought of paperwork and began going over forms in her head to get it to stop. Controlling it around Regina was going to be tough, she thought.

Emma finished up her shower and changed. They quicker they got on the case, the sooner they could figure out what happened yesterday and she could get rid of this thing.

Regina pulled on her heel, her mind whirling. A light soreness played around her which told her what she already knew: she had definitely engaged in sexual relations with one Emma Swan. Now if only she could remember it.

Regina huffed and crossed her arms as she sat on the edge of her bed, the blankets and sheets having been changed already and bed made, by hand. Regina's magic was acting weird. She had tried to employ it in the making of her bed, but only a tiny spark had come out. They needed to get to the bottom of whatever happened yesterday.

A knock on her bedroom door brought her out of her reverie.

"Regina?" Emma called lightly through the wood.

Regina walked over and opened it, she stepped out.

"Breakfast, Miss Swan then maybe we can get on with solving what happened here?" Regina told her curtly.

Emma nodded. Regina's eyes fell unconsciously to Emma's lap. The slacks Emma had chosen were really Regina's loosest pair but they weren't loose enough. The outline of Emma's new appendage was still noticeable.

Regina looked up at the ceiling, as she felt heat rising along her neck.

"Emma, did you maybe try using magic to loosen the pants in …" Regina coughed. "The groin area?"

Emma looked down and shook her head at the clearly visible outline.

"I hadn't actually… I was afraid I might mess it up. Do you think you could?" Emma whispered, slightly embarrassed. Her cheeks pinkened. Having to ask someone she respected and cared about to help with something like this was not on her to do list.

Regina shook her head.

"I'm afraid my magic is… acting up." She confessed.

Emma gave her a confused look.

Regina met her eyes and sighed. "You'll have to just do it yourself, Emma. Concentrate on what you want, and will it to happen."

"Okay, but if something happens, I'm not taking the blame." Emma huffed.

She glared down at her pants and willed the material to become more, loosen and stretch to make her less noticeable as she reached for her magic. Emma felt the material hug around her crotch less snugly as it began to loosen up. Satisfied once she couldn't tell she was walking around with a new pocket rocket that didn't belong there, Emma clapped her hands.

"High five me!" she exclaimed. Regina looked down from the ceiling. Emma was shaking her hips and doing a slight jig.

"If you are quite done, Miss Swan, breakfast then we can get on with our search." Regina admonished the blonde. She turned away and led Emma down the hallway, stopping by Henry's room and peeking in. Their teenaged son lay haphazardly strewn on his bed, one of his legs fallen off the edge. He was out cold.

Regina and Emma glanced at each other with small smiles. Their son may not have been living the average teen's life, but he sure acted like one sometimes.

They made their way into the kitchen and as if by routine, Regina began laying out the ingredients for pancakes and bacon while Emma began making coffee. The last few years they had fallen into a routine of meals some days, usually with Henry in tow. Today wasn't much different though a tension seemed to fill the air.

Regina did her best to ignore the elephant in the room despite her mind falling back to it. Why couldn't she remember the night before? Her body certainly did. Heat rose along Regina's neck at the thought. She could still remember Emma's arms around her.

As Regina stirred up pancake mix she jumped at the hand that lightly touched her forearm.

Regina stared up at Emma wide-eyed. She had been so lost in thought she hadn't heard her speaking.

"Regina? Are you okay?" Emma asked her softly, her eyes showing concern.

Regina gulped. She felt her stomach stirring as Emma looked at her. She really wished Emma wouldn't look at her like that it made her all the more confused.

"I- I'm fine." Regina turned away to pour the mix into a pan and begin cooking.

Warmth at her back told her Emma was just behind her. Hands reached around her turn off the stove causing Emma's chest to press into Regina's back and her breath hitched. Regina cleared her throat.

"Regina, I always know when you're telling the truth, just like I always know when you're lying, remember?" Emma spoke from behind her.

Regina dropped her head, she felt her chest heaving. She was so conflicted. She knew that what had happened last night had to be under the influence of magic, but even then she had to know. She had to know if she and Emma would have still done the same without magic.

Regina turned away from the stove to face Emma. Her heart nearly stopped to see how intensely Emma stared at her. Was she just imagining it?

"Emma, I-," Regina didn't get to finish as a banging at the door interrupted them. Emma huffed and gave Regina an apologetic look before stomping out of the kitchen to the front door. Regina turned away to continue making breakfast.

She listened for any clues as to what could be happening. Voices started to rise at her door, then lowered and calmed. Soon enough Emma entered the kitchen, her expression irritable.

"We have guests. They apparently saw some folks being cursed." Emma informed Regina.

"Oh?" Regina quested.

Emma fidgeted while Regina continued to cook.

Regina finally asked, "Who is it?"

Emma took a breath. "Ruby and Zelena… Umm… Zelena is green again. She's furious. But Ruby saw it happen. She said she smelled cookies and followed the scent to Zelena when it happened."

Regina nodded. She plated their breakfasts and turned to Emma, handing Emma her plate.

"What happened?"

"I'll let them tell you." Emma replied.

They walked into the dining room where Ruby and Zelena awaited. Zelena was green from head to toe. A little dark puppy sat in her lap, receiving a scratch behind her ears. Regina shook her head. Ruby might be stuck as a puppy at the moment but it seemed she wasn't hating it too badly.

They sat and Emma began to dig in while Regina regarded her sister and the pup.

"Speak." She ordered.

Zelena glared. Ruby whined at her and she calmed. The two had been hanging around one another some recently.

"Some mischievous little heathens made me go green again!" Zelena finally burst out.

Red made a little yip at that point. Then she began to speak.

"They were Brownies!" Regina stared down at the little dog. It may have been Ruby but it was still hard to get used to watching her speak.

Regina rubbed her forehead. Brownies were troublesome little devils. They caused mischief for whoever they chose as their patron. Someone who was strong but had to have a cause they believed in. They were usually harmless so whoever was doing this had to have intentions that weren't entirely dangerous, just misled.

Emma watched Regina.

"Brownies? Aren't they similar to fairies?" Emma questioned.

Regina and Zelena shook their heads simultaneously.

"In a way." Zelena informed Emma. "They're troublesome little devils, but don't have magic. They like mischief but usually for good reasons. They also don't think for themselves. Someone set them to do this."

Regina agreed with her. "Whoever it is believes they're doing the right thing. We have to figure out who and why and how to break the curse on everyone."

Emma nodded. She had finished her breakfast by now. Regina's was still left mostly untouched. Emma nudged it toward Regina, indicating she needed to eat. Regina gave her a small smirk and began to eat primly. Zelena watched the exchange with interest.

"We'll have to begin a search for clues. So far we have brownies and Ruby noticed the scent of cookies around them." Zelena told her sister and she suspected her sister's girlfriend if they would do something about it.

Zelena looked down at the puppy in her lap, eyes glittering. She had a plan. Her sister was always hanging around the Sheriff and the two of them had been single the last two years, yet neither had made a move since the pirate had gotten back his ship and was back and forth between realms, and the outlaw went back to his band in the woods. The way they looked at one another was annoying. They were always pining. She was going to use this search for their little troublemakers to make sure Regina and Emma got it together.

Ruby's puppy eyes were indicating she was thinking the exact same thing. They just needed to give them a good push in the right direction.

(This story tbc with SwanQueenWeek each ch fitting each day's theme! We're gonna have fun!)