6.
Sneaking around was not something a lady did. It was a very good thing that Kanaya was not a lady, instead she was a kunoichi. Hiding in a tree counted as training, right?
In all honesty, she needed to see this. Her mind never truly wrapped around the fact of an Uchiha and Senju being friends. And that Uchiha was no eyesore.
Staring at him in detail often resulted in her face becoming as red as an Uzumaki's hair, and Kanaya did not know why. She simply thought he was okay-looking. So once more, her violet orbs took in every detail of his face. His skin was sweaty from his training, with slightly tanned skin that was no match for Hashirama's. His cheekbones were higher than Hashirama's and Tobirama's, with two black pearl eyes that always made her face get a little hotter. She would huff, and look away as if someone was watching even if she was alone as she stalked- watched them.
While not examing that Uchiha-Boy, she was watching Hashirama as he sparred with him. She had fought Hashirama and she had seen him practice with Tobirama from a distance, but she had never seen him this close as he practiced. She was a little impressed and a little frightened by the contrast between fighting someone, where everyone he seemed to move as if dancing, making everything seem so effortless, and seeing it from less than five feet away. Training with this boy, Hashirama got neither critisims nor praises; it was only the fight. Their flushed, tired faces ran wet with sweat as they huffed out each breath.
Sleek muscles trembled as they toed the line of exhaustion, with throbbing veins popped out on foreheads and necks. It was like training was something interest. It all of their bleak, always ending lives, training was a must-have not something enjoyable. It made you strong, it did not give you pleasure. As she watched, she noticed their faces, these faces would remain forever in her mind. How silly of her, to care for an expression, but this was something she had never quite seen before. All that lack of energy, that tiredness in the soul -it enchanted her- was transcended into joy. It scared her beyond belief; what joy was there in fighting?
And then she realized, it was having someone with you that caused you joy. Connecting your body with someone else whether it be sparring or speaking caused a great happiness of someone else's presence.
How strange it was!
However, these relatively pleasant feelings did little to help with her more anxious of emotions. She could not help like feel that she had crossed some kind of invisible line. Kanaya has stumbled upon a place where two boys can still dream happily together, even without the considerations of death and annihilation looming above their heads, and it leaves her breathless in worry.
Here she is, solated and desperate for something she knew she couldn't have; peace. Anything would do quite nicely a solution; a remedy; even someone to confide in would be nice.
...She absolutely hated it. She was hiding in the leaves in a place she knew she would never usually be, harboring a secret that was NOT hers to keep, but she could not risk it getting out. It was her duty as a kunoichi of the Senju to protect ALL of her members which included Hashirama.
Keeping his secret meant keeping him safe, which meant she was fulfilling her father's legacy. It all made sense..right?
It had to, and it helped Kanaya sleep at night; what did it matter?
To ease her troubled mind, she used her arms to roughly shove herself up, and quietly left before anyone noticed her. She knew exactly where to go.
...
Her fingers slowly yank at that same string on her pin-striped pants, yanking it like she did only a year ago to twist it around her finger as tightly as possible until her finger changed color as circulation was cut off, and only then would she let it go.
These were still Itama's pants, and it still left her empty when she wore them. He was dead, and sitting at his grave with his pants on would not help that fact. He hadn't got a proper funeral; slabs of wood and dirt didn't get him into the afterlife the way he should have been. If Kanaya had had her way, he would have been in all white and burned. No one in this so called 'Family of Love' ever got a hero's burial, and perhaps Butsuma would not get burned either...No, Kanaya would make sure he got burned, she light the damn fire herself while he was alive.
Her opinion on her uncle had quickly disinterigrated into nothing more than a very mild respect for him as her uncle. He was, in her opinion, an idiot in the art of clan-leading.
A wise leader should know: his gentleness demands respect. His love creates security, and his strength demands devotion. This is an example of a worthy leader, and the niece could not see in her uncle; Kanaya saw the clan she cherished more than anything in unwise hands: her uncle's hands. It worried her beyond belief, and she hoped (Kami please forgive her) that Butsuma would soon succumb to the battlefield. She had a deep wish for him to fall alongside his fellow clansmen and already she had sworn to never heal the man if the oppurtunity arose, for she could no longer acknowledge him as her matriach.
It was much a grave, and he hadn't got much a funeral either, so Kanaya could proclaim its match. It was not marked, nor did anything really stick out about; it was a pile of dirt with several more piles surronding it. Of course, the weather had slowly began breaking it down and Kanaya supposed soon it would not even be a pile. There would simply be nothing to mark it, and Kanaya vowed silently to have Hashirama help plant flowers around.
"So," She said quietly, as to not disturb the others that rested around Itama- it was only polite - while she traced the dirt with her fingers. "I'm sorry I haven't visited. Maybe next time I'll bring Mitama. You liked her before you-" It got caught in her throat, and Kanaya took several seconds to blink back any tears she may have in her eyes, because Kanaya never cried. Her tears were useless to her, and she would not weep over someone who had died doing his duty as a shinobi.
She could clearly remember how she fought to see his body before he was buried.
'Kanaya, don't look!' Hashirama protested. The girl twisted in his arms as she bounded towards the room the housed the bodies of the dead, and her two cousins held her back.
'Let her go.' Butsuma demands, and they hesitantely do so. Kanaya is gone as fast as the wind itself into the room. Her eyes search for a familiar body, and when she seens that spiked, double-colored hair, she approaches cautiously. She takes one look at the wounds on him, turns around and vomits.
"Hashirama- I mean Hashi-Itoko has made a friend." She intoned, before her voice slowly lowered to a quieter octave. "It's an Uchiha," Kanaya gave the silent grave a moment to process this before she continued speaking. "He's okay-looking, I guess. And I watch them alot, but only to keep your dumb brother safe. You should see it though! T-They act like brothers. It's so...It makes me hope."
The mound remained silent, and the only sound it the wind attack the tree with it's heavy breeze, and she smiled lightly. "I met an Uchiha too, once. Bōisshugāru ks what I call her, and she wasn't too nice a person, but she left us food. Itama, an Uchiha helped a unknown Senju; it was a given that she didn't know I was a Senju. But she helped us." There is no response so Kanaya continued like there was someone she was speaking too, "I think it might work out. Maybe, if we could set aside our differences, clans could be united as one alliance of peace. I like that idea."
Kanaya frowned again, and Haniyama's always scowling image drifted into her mind, so she settled for keepinh her face blank. "Then again, you said -and I'm sorry for eavesdropping- that the dead would roll in their graves, didn't you? I believe grudges are for those who believe that they are owed something; what can you be owed for your dead brother or father?" She inquired wirh an answer already in mind. "If I slaughter ten men in your name, what will I gain? You will certainly not come back to life, and all I will do is create a new grudge, one of which will cause even more grudges. And what do the dead care if we stop fighting, they are dead! Aren't they in the pure land where there is no war?"
The last time came out a little little saracastic, but Kanaya is sure her point has been made. Each and every death is marked by someone (usually a women) assuring a child that they are in the pure land, where nothing can hurt them any longer and there is no war. So if Uchiha and Uzumaki and Senju can get along in the Pure Land, what do they care if there is peace in the Nations?
"I think forgiveness is not the path to go either, because how can I forgive the men who stole the life of you, Itama? Or my big brother Ohonamochi? Kawarama is dead too, and so is my own father. It scares me, Itama-nii, to try and forgive the Uchiha so quickly." Kanaya moved her hand to the inside of her haori, touching some familiar pieces of cold metal, and she clutched them in one hand. The other hand waa free, and she dug into the dirt (she winced as it got under her fingernails), until a hole was formed.
She dropped all six coins into the small hole, and then used her palm to smooth out the rest of it, so it seemed untouched.
For your trip to afterlife...
Kanaya, feeling content with the long over-due action, began to speak again. "Acceptance is the only way to peace. If I accept the fact you were killed, and that many of them are killed by our hands, then perhaps it will help. If both sides manage to accept what has happened, and agree to not do it again, perhaps forgiveness will follow after. It better not to rush forgiveness, but to slowly drift into acceptance, and the rest will follow." Kanaya shrugged, her breath beginning to fail her as she sniffled a bit.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
"Hashi-Itoko has always been too ambitious, so I just know he was peace. And so much that boy." Unshed tears burned her eyes, and she forced them in as her breath began to be staggered. "I-I think if anyone can get us peace, it's him, y'know? He...He is very convincing and remember than time he made us think that only white cows could produce milk? It took almost three hours to do it, but we honestly thought...Kawarama-Itoko called us idiots, but Hashirama k-k-kept on the ruse for so long..."
Kanaya wept, and shame caused her to cry even harder. She missed Itama more than anyone could even know. Hashirama and Tobirama...it was their brother, but it was her bestfriend. Her tears hurt her throat, and it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what she can do or attempt to do can change the situation she is. She is powerless to stop life from fading away or to keep a secret that could kill her alongside her cousin. Crying helps, because it relieves pressure from the inside - that is the pain that you must carry with you that should have been long forgotten. That pain just stays in place. These small drops of salty, wet, moisture hold in them more grief and pain that anything anyone can ever feel, amd it is an escape.
Kanaya wonders if she is alone in this feelings, she is sure she has never once seen Hashirama sob as if he was an infant, and she has made sure he has NEVER seen her cry. Her body trembles as it is wracked with her wails, and her lungs burn with lack of oxygen.
She misses Itama and Kawarama. She misses Takuma and she misses Mitoki. She even misses how innocent the world was before she turned four and began her training. Everything was wrong!
She lied to Tobirama over an Uchiha; she lied over a faint idea if peace that may or may not be true! Had she gone mad?
Kanaya felt a chakra and her head snapped up, only to blurrily meet a pair of brown eyes staring at. The entire earth stopped, and Haniyama is simply staring at her. She remembers all of those times when Haniyama slapped her to stop her tears from falling, she can remember all the scoldings she endured from the harsh woman.
Haniyama stands there in a kimono with a black obi, and a bundle of wild flowers in her arms, and Kanaya is staring at her with tears slipping down her face. She waits, almost imagining the sting of the hand print on her face, but her sister deflates, shaking her head at her as she walked away, her elaborate kimono fluttering in the wind. Was...Was Haniyama visiting someone?
Kanaya looked closely at Haniyama's retreating back, and realized something horrific that caused her tears to renew themselves.
Ohonamochi Senju (what a terrible name) was dead, and he was somewhere under a bundle of dirt, and his half-sister did not visit him. It was the first time Kanaya had ever saw Haniyama as a person. She was not a cold-blooded killer as she portrayed herself to be, instead she was a grieving sister with little experience in the art of happiness. She lost her family too, not just Kanaya. She lost her brother Ohonamochi just as Kanaya has lost Itama, and now there was a silence that made Kanaya frown.
If Haniyama could hide herself so well, could the Uchiha do the same? What would life be like if both clans could see into each others' hearts?
Could they be able to see the person behind the armor?
...
"Tobirama Senju!"
Kanaya winced at her aunt's loud voice. Sorry Tobi...
Tsunada Senju was a VERY scary woman when she was pissed off.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She wailed in anger, and Kanaya took a moment to remember Tobirama before his impending death. She could hear them from the other room where she was sitting with Hashirama, who was holding Mitama in his arms.
"So red or blue flowers?" Hashirama asked with a fleeting look on his face as a thump was heard from the other room. Kanaya took a brief second to ponder this question.
"Blue. I believe saw some wild flowers in a light purple near the grain fields." Kanaya says softly, "I'll make his funeral as lovely as possible." Hashirama beams at her in that hopeful way he does, and both ignore the pained yell that Tobirama produces from the other room as Tsunada shrieked in anger. Mitama giggled at all the sounds, and Hashirama tickled her stomach to continue her cheery laughs.
"If he would just admit he's injured and stop trying to leave, she wouldn't do that." Kanaya said, with a shrug and she noticed how tense her cousin's shoulders truly were. "Cousin...?" She trailed off for a moment as he looked at Mitama with hopeful eyes.
"Kanaya-chan," He began. "How would you feel about a place where everyone is happy?" He paused and watched her for a moment. Kanaya did her best innocent face.
She tilted her head to the side, "I thought we were happy." Kanaya felt her stomach tighten up as impending dread filled her body. What was this about? Was he going to tell her about the Uchiha or of their dreams or something?
"No- I mean, we are! Sort of. A place where there is no war or pain." Hashirama explained. "A village where Tama-chan, Moka-chan, and other kids will never have to die." The curly haired baby looked up at the sound of her name and Kanaya's brows furrowed even if she knew this was coming.
She had suspected that Hashirama would come up with something like this, and she acted as surprised as possible. It did sound appealing however, and as she looked at how protectively he held Mitama, she truly believed he COULD do something with his life.
"Hai. But how? It doesn't sound possible." She noticed how his face fell and Kanaya felt depression in his chakra. Even Mitama looked uncomfortable about the situation at hand. "But I believe in you, y'know. If anyone can make a village of peace, it's you! I'll support you no matter what!" She promised, and Hashirama smiled brightly back.
"Also, could you maybe cover for me tomorrow?" He asked pleasanty to the girl, "I wanna go rock-skipping." Kanaya frowned.
"And I wanna cut that annoying bowl off your head," She waved her finger around her own head to symbolize his own hair cut. Hashirama quickly fell into a deep depression, Mitama squirming in his arms, and Kanaya laughed at how easily he became sad. She wondered if that Uchiha ever got annoyed by his lame hair-style or his chronic depression.
Just as she went to open her mouth, a large crack formed in the wall, and Tobirama came tumbling out of it with a desperate look in his usually calm face. Tsundada came out with a pissed off expression, and immediately Hashirama fled the room with Mitama, Kanaya tumbling after him.
The boy with the bowl-cut looked like he had seen a ghost, and he clutched onto the baby like a life-line, while Kanaya abandoned both her sister and cousin to make it to the woods, far away from their aunt. Tsunada Senju was a terrifying person when made angry and judging on Tobirama's face, she was ANGRY.
By the time she made it to the edge of woods however, she felt chakra signitures that felt like water and confusion spread through her. She has only felt this once before, with her mother, and-
Uzumaki! The Uzumaki Clan negotion team had arrived. Against her better judgement (she did not wish to see Tsunada), she fled back to inform everyone.
...
I know it's short, but I have classes to take so it will take me longer to update. Maybe once or twice a week. I would like to thank you all for your reviews and kindly ask you correct any mistakes in my English. I am trying my hardest to learn the lanjuage I know this chapter is kind of filler, I suppose. The next is involving the Uzumaki and then after that is Madara and such. I have big plans for Kanayama. Please enjoy reading.