AN: I finally gave Xander a power. The details will be explained at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 08 – Bad Eggs

"I told her everything." Buffy said. "I told her all about being a slayer, what happened to you... everything."

It was the two days after the destruction of Ted, and the first time that Buffy had patrolled, since telling her mom the truth.

"How'd she take it?" Xander asked.

"Better then I expected, though she did ask if I could stop being a slayer."

"Ouch." He said. "Well, give her time, I'm sure she'll come around."

"I will. At least she didn't throw me out. She actually packed me a snack for slaying." She held up a brown paper bag.

Xander grinned at that. "Well that's good. Means she's supporting you."

"We're going to the mall tomorrow."

"She wants to spend time with you. See, another good thing."

"So what'd you ever do with Ted?"

"Took him to my uncle's scrap yard. Threw him into the car crusher. Turned him into a cube."

"Ouch."

Two days later, after nearly being late to class, because they were making out in the utility closet, Xander and Cordelia had to run across the school to reach their class room.

"That was close." Xander said, too low for anyone other then Cordy to hear.

"If you hadn't distracted me, we'd have been on time." She replied.

"Hey, can I help it if I like kissing you."

She just shrugged. It was a very slight movement, not enough to be noticeable by the humans in the room.

"I'm still not happy with you." Xander mentioned, while the teacher droned on in the front of the classroom.

"Well I'm not happy with you either, but I don't have a choice."

"That's exactly what I mean." Xander sub-whispered. "You don't want me, you're just with me because you have no other choice, and I'm too stupid to walk away. I don't like hiding from my friends."

"Well I don't have a choice." Cordelia sub-whispered in return. "I'd loose my friends if they knew I was with you."

Xander sighed. "All in all, this is not what I'd call a big self-esteem booster."

Xander tuned back into the class, as the teacher started talking about sex.

"S-E-X. Sex. The sex drive in the human animal is intense. How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?"

Xander raised his hand. "Yes."

"That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll."

He lowered his hand. "Oh."

"Of course, for teenagers such as yourselves these feelings are even more overwhelming. With all sorts of hormones surging through your bodies, compelling you to action, it's often difficult to remember that there are negative consequences to, uh, having sex. Would anyone care to offer one such consequence?"

"Well, that depends." Cordelia stated, "Are you talking about sex in the car or out of the car? Because I have a friend, not me, that was in a Miata, parked at the top of the hill, and then she kicked the gearshift, and, and..."

Xander raised his hand. "What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chit-chat just so you can get some touch?"

Cordelia immediately raised her hand again. The teacher, Mr. Whitmore, Sighed and indicated her.

"Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a big turn-on."

Willow looked back and forth between the two of them, quite confused.

"Now." Mr. Whitmore said, "Another consequence of sexual activity? Anyone?"

Cordy raised her hand.

"Uh... else?" Whitmore continued.

Willow raised her hand.

"How about pregnancy? That would be a major one, right?"

"Thank you, Ms. Rosenberg! Among teens unwanted pregnancy is the number one negative consequence of sexual activity. So, as discussed last week, I present you with your offspring." He pulled a sheet off trays of eggs. "You will split into parenting teams. You and your partner will share equally in the daily task of raising your egg. Now, please choose a partner and come pick up your children."

Xander grinned at Cordelia, but she glared at him, before pulling on the shirtsleeve of the boy sitting next to her.

"You wanna have a baby?"

"Fine," Xander sub-whispered, "Good luck keeping your secret from him."

He stood, and went to the front of the room. Seeing a girl there, getting an egg he spoke.

"I know we just met, but isn't that Xander Jr. you're holding?" She giggled and smiled at him. They moved to the back of the class together.

Later, in the library Buffy, who missed the class, was passed an egg by Willow.

"As punishments go, this is fairly abstract."

"No it's your baby." Willow said.

Buffy stared at the egg. "Okay, I get it even less."

"Well, you know, it's the whole 'sex leads to responsibility' thing," Xander explained. "Which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values."

"My egg's Jewish." Willow commented.

"Then teach it that Dreidel song." He said, making her smile.

Buffy vehemently denied her ability to take care of anything. "I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke."

She set the egg down on top of a stack of catalogs.

"You'll do fine!" Willow insisted.

Xander grinned, "Yeah, the only thing that stresses me is when do we tell them that they're adopted?"

It's then Buffy found out she doesn't have a partner on the project.

"I'm a single mother?" She asked in disbelief.

"No man of her own." Xander said.

"Do you know what this says about me? That I am doomed to lead my mother's life!" Buffy began to pace. "How deeply scary is that?"

"How 'bout this: it says nothing, it means nothing, this whole egg experiment thing is completely pointless!"

At that moment, Giles came out of the book cage, carrying a book, and crying 'Success'. He had been looking up information on the vampire that Buffy had ran into at the mall the night before. She figured that Xander was right about telling her mom the truth. After the encounter, she had forgotten to pick up her mom's clothes from the dry cleaners, and she was able to tell her the truth about why.

"At last. Your playmate is a fellow of repute, it seems."

He dropped the book right where Buffy's Egg lie. She inhaled sharply, snatching the egg away before it could be crushed.

Giles pointed to a picture in his book. "That's, um, Lyle Gorch, and that one's his brother, Tector. They're from Abilene. They, uh, they made their reputation by massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886."

"Friendly little demons." Buffy muttered.

"That was before they became vampires."

"Well I'm not worried. They're just two more vampires."

Giles cleaned his glasses before speaking. "Yes, well, the good news is that they're... not amongst the great thinkers of our times. I doubt if they're up to much. They're probably just drawn here by the, uh, Hellmouth's energy."

"'Nuff said. I propose that Buffy and I slay them. All in favor?"

Willow raised her hand. "Aye!"

"Just don't underestimate them." Giles said. "It's a good thing you have help, Buffy. In case of... of... Why do you all have eggs?"

Willow spoke up. "Hey, maybe you can have Angel help you find the Gorches."

Xander growled too low for the humans to hear. He may be with Cordelia now... in what ever kind of dysfunctional relationship it was, but he still didn't like Angel.

"Yes!" Giles said, "Yes, yes, that's not a bad idea. Strength in numbers."

Xander just rolled his eyes. "Oh, right. I see a lotta hunting getting done in that scenario."

"Please. Like Angel and I are just helpless slaves to passion. Grow up!"

Later that night, Xander was patrolling with Cordelia, when they came across Angel and Buffy, who were too busy kissing to notice them.

Unfortunately, Buffy and Angel were also too busy kissing to notice the Gorch brothers watching them.

The next day, Xander, Willow, and Buffy met up in the library.

"Oh! Why are you three hanging about? Don't you have classes to go to?"

"Teen health got canceled." Willow explained.

"Mr. Whitmore's out." Xander laughed, "Couldn't find an egg sitter or something."

"Well, then, can you give me a hand?" Giles asked.

Buffy and Willow both refused, but Xander was feeling magnanimous. He started shelving books, and with his full speed, was done in no time.

They discussed patrol the previous night, and Buffy explained that the Gorches were a no-show, not knowing how close they were.

Afterward, Giles pointed out that the girls were both unusually sluggish.

Buffy and Willow exchanged a look. "Maybe something we ate."

"Or perhaps it's the burden of parenthood. Notice how seriously you two have taken this egg thing. While I, in turn, have, uh, well, chosen a more balanced approach." Xander removed his egg from his shirt pocket.

He tossed the egg in the air, and caught it, hearing a small crack noise.

"Oops." Xander said, "Forgot about marble hard skin."

"How come it didn't break?" Willow asked.

"That's another secret to conscientious egg care: pot of scalding water and about eight minutes."

"You boiled you young?" Willow demanded, shocked.

"Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind! I mean, you can bet that little Xander here is thick skinned now."

"Technically that would be cheating, yes?" Giles asked.

"No!" Xander insisted, "It's like a short cut. You know, when you run a race?"

"That would also be cheating." Buffy commented.

Willow shook her head. "You should be ashamed."

"I suppose there is a sort of... Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression."

"I resent that! Or possibly thank you."

Xander took a breath in through his nose. "Wait a minute. What is that?"

"What is what?" Buffy asked.

Xander sniffed around a bit, following the smell to his cracked egg. Carefully, he peeled apart the shell, finding a strange purplish-gray creature inside the egg.

"The hell is that?" He wondered aloud.

At that moment, Cordelia entered the library. "Figures you three would all be hanging in the dungeon while something major's going on at Sunnydale High."

"And what would that be, Cordelia?" Xander asked, while poking the strange creature inside his egg. "Barrette Appreciation Day?"

"Mr. Whitmore didn't show today. And what is that smell?"

"This thing." Xander said, holding up the pink creature. "It was inside my egg."

Xander looked at Buffy and Willow. "I wonder if there's one in your eggs too?"

"Oh no!" Willow cried, "My poor baby could be a purple demony monster thing."

"Only one way to find out." He set her egg on the floor, and stepped on it. There was a squish, and a squealing cry, then nothing. Xander moved his foot to see a squashed purple blob.

"Eww." Cordy said.

"I'm right there with ya." Xander said, rubbing off his shoe. He took Buffy's egg, and tossed it full power against the floor. It opened, and the creature skittered away.

"Crap." Xander cried, "Get it!"

He chased after it, moving fast, but a knife flew past him, and pinned the thing to the floor. He glanced back to see a grinning Buffy, who had thrown the dagger. He quickly stepped on the creature, killing it. Learning his lesson, he quickly stepped on Cordelia's egg.

"Those things are nasty," She said, "what are they?"

"I'll research," Giles spoke up, "While the rest of you are in classes."

"You think these things have anything to do with Mr. Whitmore's disappearance?" Cordy asked.

"It's possible." Giles said.

"Well, I think we should look for him, don't you Xander?"

"Huh?" He asked.

"Well, his body could fall out of a closet somewhere... So we should check some closets to see if he's in a closet?"

Xander pointed at her, "You're right. There could be a closet. Let's go."

He then pointed at Buffy and Willow, "You guys look for more clues. We'll meet back here."

"We'll get right on it." Buffy said, unenthusiastically.

"Are they getting weirder? Have you noticed the weirdness of them?" Xander could hear Willow as, as they left the library.

After spending fifteen minutes making out in one of the janitors closets, they made it in time for the next class.

That night, Cordelia and Xander sat on top of a mausoleum watching over Buffy and Angel, while they kissed in the distance. Well, Xander was watching over them. Cordy was huffing unhappily. They could easily make out their voices even from this distance.

"It's late." Angel said, "You should really get home."

"What about the Gorches?" Buffy asked.

"I'll hunt. And Xander is still out there somewhere."

Xander scoffed. "It's like watching a bad romantic movie.

"Really?" Buffy asked, "You'd do that?"

"Sure don't care about him volunteering you." Cordy commented.

"Not like I have an early day tomorrow." Angel pointed out.

Buffy sighed, "True. At least I don't have to fill out my egg diary anymore."

"Your what?"

"Oh, I told you, that faux parenting gig we're doing at school. Like I'm really planning to have kids anytime soon. Uh, maybe someday, in the future, when I'm done having a life, but... right now kids would be just a little too much to deal with."

"I wouldn't know. I don't... Well, you know, I, I can't..."

"Oh. That's okay, um... I-I figured there were all sorts of things vampires couldn't do. You know, like work for the Telephone Company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or... have little vampires."

"So you don't think about the future?" Angel asked.

"No."

"Never?"

"No."

"Angel, when I look into the future, a-a... all I see is you! All I want is you."

"I know the feeling." Angel said.

"Oh gag." Cordelia said.

Angel and Buffy began to kiss. Xander stood up, from where he was sitting. "Time to interrupt them, I think."

Together, they dropped from the roof of the mausoleum to the ground below, before approaching the kissing couple.

"Good thing we already killed all the vamps in this cemetery.

"Oh!" Buffy cried, pulling back, being startled by Cordy's voice.

"Sorry," Xander said, "didn't mean to interrupt."

"What are you talking about?" Cordy asked, "Of course we did."

Xander just sighed. "You should head home, Buff, your mom is probably waiting up for you."

"You're right. G'night, guys." She gave one more quick kiss to Angel, then headed off in the direction of her house. Xander and Cordelia could hear Angel leaving, and Xander just rolled his eyes, at the vampire's rudeness, to leave without a word to them.

The next day, Buffy, Willow, Xander and Cordelia met up outside the school, and headed for the library, to find Giles not there. Xander's enhanced eyes caught sight of a picture in one of the open books on the counter that looked familiar. He pulled the book to himself and began reading.

"'Pre-pre-historic parasite. The mother hibernates underground, laying eggs. The offspring then attach themselves to a host, taking control of their motor functions through neural clamping.'"

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Buffy asked.

"That Giles got neural clamped?" Willow said.

"Hey, you hear that?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah." Xander answered. He got onto his knees, then put his ear to the floor.

"Hear what?" Buffy asked. She had enhanced hearing, but nothing in comparison to what the two twilight vamps had.

"Sounds like..." Xander started.

"Digging." Cordy finished.

"I think we just found the mama bezoar." Xander said.

Together, the four students left the library, and headed for the basement access door. They descended the stairs, and walked through the basement to the far wall, where they found a tunnel leading deeper underground. They followed the tunnel and came across a number of the school staff and students, including Giles and Mr. Witmore.

"What are they doing?" Willow asked.

"Looks like they're digging something up." Xander answered. They watched as Giles pulled eggs out of the hole, and set them in a crate, before passing it to a student, who carried it across the room and set it on top of another crate.

"Oh boy." Xander commented.

"We can't let them spread those eggs." Buffy said.

Buffy backed away to find a weapon, when she sees the Gorch brothers approach her.

Lyle grinned, "I told you this weren't over."

"She's so cute. And little. Think we can keep her?" Tector asked.

Buffy grabbed up a length of pipe, and using it like a bow staff struck the two vampires in the faces with it, before hitting Tector in the face, sending him flying back.

"Alright" Lyle cried out, "He's my brother!"

He lunged at Buffy, knocking them both out into the room where the digging is taking place. Lyle pulls away from Buffy, then noticed all the activity.

"What the hell is this?"

"We got these two." Xander said, "You and Willow get the towns people free."

Cordelia lunged at Tector back in the other room, while Xander punched Lyle in the face hard, breaking his nose, and causing blood to run down his face. Suddenly Xander's thirst roared to life, and before he could stop himself, he had on hand on Lyle's shoulder, and the other on his head. He beared his teeth and sank them into the vampire's neck, drinking the blood which flowed through the undead body. As he did, information flowed into Xander's head, faces and locations. Knowledge and memories.

Finally Lyle Gorch turned to dust as Xander pulled away from his body. A dribble of blood ran down Xander's chin, and he quickly wiped it away, feeling disgusted with himself. He turned in time to see Buffy with her pipe in hand dive into the hole the enslaved people had been digging. Moments later, there was a roar followed by a screech, then Buffy climbed out of the hole covered in blue slime. While she attempted to clean herself off, Cordelia and Xander carry the unconscious people out of the tunnel, lining them up in the hallway of the school.

Giles was the first to regain consciousness, and after Willow quickly informed him of what happened, he began to wake the other people, talking about a gas leak to explain away the lost time.

Buffy returned from the bathroom where she had cleaned up, and changed, before approaching her mother, who was looking rather confused. The slayer pulled her mother aside, and told her the truth about what happened. The woman looked shocked and a strange combination of scared of the events, yet proud of her daughter.

"What are we doing down here?" Cordelia asked, as she followed Xander into the sewers, the night after the events with the bezoars.

"I drank the blood of that vampire, and saw his memories. He and his brother had a camp near here," He explained as they turned a corner and found a site that was obviously lived in, "And they had stored lots of... ah ha."

He pulled a bag out from where it was stored, a bag full of money and jewelry from their victims.

"Pay dirt."

AN: That's right, he drinks human blood (or human blood from vampires) and can see their memories.