Author's Note: This is a birthday gift for one of my greatest friends, AlElizabeth, that I never completed on time. Happy belated birthday, friend. *hugs* I hope you can forgive the delay, and I hope you like it. And I love you very much.

Six and Brave

John immediately felt cooler as he walked through the doors of the mall. Summer had only begun, and the heat was already nearing the point of suffocation outside.

The mall was bustling with people, crowded more than usual on a Saturday evening; group of friends hanging out, parents exploring around with their children, lovers holding hands. It only made him feel a new kind of suffocation with all these bodies around them. Ever since he lost Mary to that fire, he had found himself growing more and more reserved as he fell deeper and deeper into his vengeance, and now, feeling so strange and awkward around so many people, he realized just how long it had been since he had had to deal with anything more than an unpopulated grocery store or gas station.

He pulled his two boys in closer against him. "Stay close, you two. Don't want you getting lost."

The boys had grown fast, and it had been a long while since they've bought any new clothes. He had considered letting them live in their current ones for at least another year, but Dean had started complaining about how his sleeves were riding up and how his hem wasn't far off. It had made him conscious of how far down he had gone as a father, and he felt guilty that it took his guilt to spur him into buying his children some new damn clothes.

He wondered what Mary would have thought.

But they were here now. He was almost tempted to turn around and go find some other place, somewhere with less people, but then he wanted to laugh at himself. He could deal with all kinds of monsters there were, but he couldn't deal with people?

Needless to say, his pride wouldn't let him.

They started moving along, and after a while of staring around, John caught sight of garment racks through the glass of one small shop from afar, clothes for boys and girls segregated on two sides.

…

Sam followed his family without really looking at what store they were walking towards. He wasn't all too excited about shopping for clothes. His brother and Daddy said it was important, and maybe it was because of how his sleeves didn't really reach his wrists, but that didn't mean he had to enjoy it. What did catch his interest though, was the toy shop. He stopped walking to stare at the Batman action figure on the inside of the glass. He knew his Daddy didn't like spending money on things like toys, but he was getting real bored with only Dean's favorite car toy and his teddy bear, Mr. Teddy, whose left arm was missing too.

He felt sad though, knowing his Daddy wouldn't allow him. He remembered his Daddy telling them both that they didn't have much money, so they would only buy what was important like clothes and stuff.

He looked back again at where Dean and his Daddy were supposed to be.

But they weren't there.

And his heart was growing fast and scared as he looked around for them, but they weren't anywhere, and his eyes welled up with tears, his breaths quick as he tried not to cry because he was six and brave but he didn't even know which shop they went to. There were too many. Too many here. And he was alone right in the middle of this big, big place.

…

"Dad, where's Sam?" Dean asked, wide-eyed in fear. John didn't even notice that he only had one of his sons behind him, and god, that must say something about his parental skills (or lack of it). He dropped the shirt he was looking over for Dean, ran out of the shop and darted his eyes around, his body twisting back and forth frantically, hoping to see him somewhere close by, but Sam wasn't there.

"Shit," John muttered, wiping a hand down his face. He looked around some more. "Shit, shit, shit."

"I'm sorry, Dad," Dean whispered, trembling slightly. John, selfishly, hoped to God it wasn't fear of him, but fear for Sam. It would have meant John didn't fail so badly as to make his kids scared of him. He knew he had been hard on Dean with the Shtriga incident a few months ago, and he knew Dean never forgave himself for it, which was a huge burden on a ten-year-old boy. He knew he was to blame for that.

"It's not your fault," John said, shook his head, hand over his mouth. "I should… I should have been careful with him. He's only fu-freaking six years old."

Dean stared down at his worn shoes, still trembling. John felt an ache in his heart, knelt down before him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find him, kiddo. Don't worry."

Dean nodded.`

…

Sam ran into every shop he could, searching for the sight of his Daddy's cool leather jacket and Dean's favorite blue shirt. He looked around the shop with a lot of shoes, and there were a lot people here, but none of them were his family. He pressed his fists into his eyes, his nose stinging and his face crumpling.

"Hey," someone said from behind him. He froze. Dean always told him never to talk to strangers. "Hey, are you lost?"

Sam started to shake, remembering when his Daddy told him about bad people and how they sometimes liked to take children away because he had tried to go out of the room on his own once when Dean fell asleep in front of the TV and Daddy was out getting them food and he was getting bored and there was nothing to do and he knew Dean was tired so he didn't want to wake him up but his Daddy caught him and took him back in and was real mad at him for it and told him stories about people who lied to children and tried to lure them and then took them-

The man, who was with another woman, was now in front of him. "I can help you. Do you know what your parents' numbers are?"

Sam was scared. He wanted someone to help him, but he didn't want anyone to take him away, and he didn't know what to do, so he ran away. He heard their voices behind him, yelling out to him, but he ran as fast as he could.

…

John was in front of the Customer Service desk, Dean's hand clutching his jacket. The lady behind the counter was speaking into a mic, describing Sam's brown hair and hazel eyes and his striped red-and-white shirt, six years old. There was another woman nearby with her two kids, subtly giving him judgmental looks.

"Thank you," John said to the Customer Service lady. The lady nodded with a sympathetic smile. Dean burrowed closer to him (in a way he hadn't for a long time now), sad and afraid, and John rubbed his head gently, sighing and feeling like the judgmental looks that woman was giving him was well-deserved. He wished Mary was here, knew she never would have let anything like this happen. He looked up at where heaven was supposed to be, and breathed in deep so that he could breathe out the pain and longing in his chest along with it.

He accidentally caught sight of the woman with the looks again when he went to gaze around, still hoping for his little boy to show up with some employee or something even though it had only been a few minutes, and found that something tender had replaced that look on her face instead.

…

In a matter of almost ten minutes that passed by in slow, torturous waiting, dragging on and never seeming to end, John found himself in the moment he had been waiting for, with the sight that freed the knots in his chest and left him dizzy with relief.

There was Sam, walking alongside a woman in some uniform, wet cheeks and rosebud lips twisted with tears, fist rubbing at his eye.

"Found him toddling around outside our shop, looking for you," she said with a smile. She glanced down at him when she heard a sniff and rubbed his small shoulder. "Shh… it's okay. See, they're here now. Your family."

Sam lifted his head up at them, damp eyes wide. "Dean? Daddy?"

Dean pushed away from John at the sound of his voice. "Sammy?" When he saw him, he grinned and ran towards him. "Sammy!"

When he had crossed the five feet of distance between them, he huddled his shoulders around Sammy, clutching him tight to himself and kissing the top of his curly head. The female employee seemed ready to coo all over them.

John followed his boys, dropping down on his knees in front of them, which were a relief because they were already weakening and he was sure he would have fallen anyway, and he wrapped them both up in his arms, smiling.

"God, Sammy," John muttered. "Don't you ever do that again."

The End

Author's Note: I'm not too sure about the ending. But I hope you enjoyed this, Alex! I love you! And I hope the rest of you did too. *hugs*