'My Trip to America is not as Expected'

Chapter 1: On that day, the Cherry Blossoms Came Late

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.(1)

Shouldn't this be the time where the cherry blossoms flutter in the air, the scene where the two lovers kiss, and thus, they end their tale, basked in the warm light of a glorious spring?

Alas, this is not the case.

The cherry blossoms are late this year. All that flutters in the air is the aura of discontent and uncertainty.

That same old spring myth keeps 'round and 'round in my head, and yet, I know, it is something that I'll never partake in. That simply is destiny. And yet, for some reason, I cling on to this childish hope, vainly.

On my doorstep is the last vestige of the tale that has been perpetrated by crappy romance novels and anime over and over again. Yukino Yukinoshita, the girl that I somehow came to believe I love out of the strangest of conditions, is now staring at me. Shocking to me was the small amount of water that was welling up in her eyes.

Yet, even I know that this facet of that common dream is yet another corrupt fantasy. For I know that Yukino Yukinoshita has made the decision that I wished to give to her, and the decision is that of the end of our relationship.

Sure, I have ended relationships before. Such was the reality of being a lifelong loner. However frail they may be, the harshest of maneuvers must be taken to break them. And yet, for the first time in my life, I am actually hurt by this relationship ending. I guess this time, it was because I wasn't the one who ended the relationship, but it was the woman sitting on that doorstep, making a face I didn't know how to interpret, that has struck me down.

Perhaps this is punishment by whatever God of Karma that has decided that I most atone for my hedonistic lifestyle.

'That's a load of crap.'

'I know.'

And yet, besides my mind telling me otherwise, I still somehow clung to the idea that this was some kind of righteous retribution.

Finally, to snap me out of my circular, dreary line of thinking that I entertained myself with, Yukino spoke.

"So... Hikigaya-kun... How did you reach your conclusion?"

This sentence seemed like one that was pretty clear-cut. She wanted to know why I would leave the Service Club, out of my own mouth, and that I genuinely meant it. But I thought about it for an extra sentence... She said she wanted to know how I reached my conclusion. Now, of the two optional letters I left, I keep thinking back to the one I wrote, in which I said that I loved her. It said that that was the conclusion I reached.

'Does that mean...'

Most likely not. Chances are, that it was just a coincidence. That the phrasing was unintentional.

However...

Now, the possibility couldn't be eliminated that she read the confession letter, that that was the option she had chosen.

I have read and watched too many romance stories in which the main guy misinterprets what the girl is saying, and because of that, any chance of a relationship is shot down. I will not make that mistake. I know that the chances are slim, but damn it all if I'm going to destroy my only chance at keeping this relationship!

So that meant that my reply should be as ambiguous as possible. Something that could pertain to her reading either of the letters. Chances are, in some, fashion, she'll say something that reveals what letter she chose.

"Well... It happened in one night."

Yes, that response works. It works in the context of being a found love, and also as a realization that I shouldn't stay in the Service Club anymore.

'The ball's in your court, Yukino.'

Maybe now, she'd reveal it. But she managed to counter it with another statement that could pertain to either of the possible outcomes.

"How did you come to realize that's what needed to be done in such a swift amount of time? Chances are, you haven't thought it through too much. I mean, are you certain that this is what you want?"

'Damn it! You sure aren't making this easy.'

"I realized that there was no purpose in avoiding what the future holds. That's why I did what I had to do. I realized that this was the only way to ensure that we both get the future we want."

This serving back and forth, like a game of tennis, is infuriating. It's like spending 7 Days in Hell.(2)

'Damn it, come on! Just tell me what you chose! What you want!'

"Then what is it, then, Hachiman? What is it that you want? What is it that you want the future to hold? It's your future after all. Why leave it up to me?"

'Oh.'

I just realized it then. There was only one reason that things were turning out the way they are now.

She had to have read both letters.

Yes, now we were stuck in this quagmire of not knowing what the other wants. I wanted to leave the choice up to Yukino, hence, why I left both letters. But she seems to have deferred. She wants me to make the choice for what happens to the future. Through all my attempts of trying to avoid responsibility, of letting others decide which wave I will be swept up upon, I now am the only one who can break this endless dancing around the problem. I now was responsible for everything that would happen, whether it be abandoning everything I've ever known about how I live my life, or hurting Yukino.

'She called me by my first name... Consciously...'

Yes, I now knew what I wanted. I decided that it was time to stop dodging, avoiding the tough, awkward positions, and give it my best shot, no matter how much it hurts my pride.

That's why...

"Because it is not just my future, Yukino. I didn't want to drag you along into a future where we were forever placed in an awkward, uncomfortable, and utterly frustrating experience where we participate in a shell of what our relationship had been. At the same time, I decided that if you did want the future that I wanted, a path that hasn't been traveled by me, the terminal loner, I wouldn't deny you that. If I am to choose what future is best, what we want out of it, then the path I choose is-"

I was interrupted by my lips interacting with that of Yukino's.

My brain crashed.

'wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-'

She broke away.

"I choose you, Hachiman. That's my decision, what I want. And you're just going to have to live with that."

I couldn't help but smile, with what felt like fire blood coming up to my head, and my heart feeling like it was about to break my ribs.

"That's alright. I think I can live with this."

Yes. I loved the Gods of Romantic Comedies.(3)

A/N: Yes, this chapter pretty much ties up what happened in the oneshot this is a sequel to, and allows us to move on ahead with our voyage to the land of McCapitalism. It's light on humor, but hopefully, I'll make up for it next chapter.

Next chapter, I will introduce one of my favorite characters in Oregairu into the fray. Thanks for reading, and see you soon!

(1): The opening line of the greatest dystopian novel of all time, '1984' by George Orwell. And also, the clock striking thirteen works, apparently, because Japan kind of operates on 24-hour military time.

(2): A reference to the humorous HBO mockumentary they just came out with, '7 Days in Hell', and it is bloody hilarious.

(3): This time, a reference to the closing line of '1984'. I dare won't say what the original sentence was, because I dare not spoil it.