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"Who's hungry for some tofu?!"

Sitting on the couch and watching television, Cyborg glanced back at his best friend who was pulling out a full plate of tofu from the refrigerator. "Man, you know that stuff is disgustin'. I dunno why you think I'm gonna ever accept your offer to try the stuff."

"Uh, maybe because it's delicious?!" Beast Boy shoved the entire dish of white blocks into his mouth and spoke around it, spitting a little of his precious tofu as he went. "You might as well give up your meaty ways now, dude. Tofu is, always has, and forever will be the best food in the universe."

"Well BB, I beg to differ." Cyborg watched as Beast Boy tossed his plate in the sink and joined him on the sofa. Raven, who was sitting on one of the far end cushions, glanced at them warningly before returning to the book in her hands. Aside from her, Cyborg and Beast Boy were the only Titans in the ops room. "Anythin' with meat in it is superior to tofu. Ribs, steak, burgers… And you can't forget the seafood! That in itself is especially tasty."

Beast Boy covered his mouth, swallowing. "Dude! You're making me sick!"

"Personally, I think that aside from octopus, shark is the best food that comes from the ocean," Cyborg continued, ruffling Beast Boy's green hair and leaning back. "But you wouldn't know, because you haven't eaten shark before."

Beast Boy flailed his arms around his head. "Dude, out of like the handful of people in the world who actually eat shark, why'd you have to be one of them?!" He pretended to swoon. "I'm betrayed! My own best friend, turned against me for meat!"

Cyborg chuckled, and Raven interrupted from her place on the edge of the couch. "A lot of people actually do eat shark, Beast Boy. More than you would think."

His eyes widened. "Don't tell me you're one of them!"

Raven rolled her eyes, shaking her head and turning back to the novel on her lap. The green boy exhaled an enormous breath, and then glared at Cyborg. His expression only made the shape-shifter's best friend laugh harder. He clapped Beast Boy on the back. "Man, sharks reduce the human population. I like to think I'm doing the world a favor."

"Hey!" Beast Boy exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "There are only nineteen shark attacks each year, and only one death every two! It's not their fault we're invading their territory! Does it look like we were made to live in the water?! If you stayed on land, you'd be more likely to be killed by a falling coconut!"

Cyborg rubbed his large nose, grinning. "I doubt that, green bean. I've never heard any horrific stories about a coconut murdering someone. Can you imagine how unfortunate that would be to put on a gravestone? 'Killed by coconut. He should've sat under another tree'." The teenager snorted. "Man, I doubt there's been more than…," he paused a moment to think, "…five in the history of the world."

"One hundred and fifty annually," Raven muttered, not lifting her nose from the book's pages. The two male Titans stopped their quarrel for a moment to stare at her, surprised the empath was even listening. Their stillness lasted but a moment, however, before Beast Boy hopped up.

"See, Rae agrees with me!"

The dark girl stood. "I did no such thing. I simply offered facts where they were needed so to put an end to your pointless arguing."

Cyborg wasn't about to back down quite yet. "Yeah, but would you rather get killed by a shark or a coconut? Coconuts don't have teeth, and they won't cripple you for life."

"At least if I was killed by a shark, I would know what killed me! Coconuts are vicious, dude! They drop out of the sky!"

Unable to believe the conversation she was hearing, Raven rose to her feet, book still in hand, and left the room. She considered warning Robin who had passed by her towards the commons room, but her leader had already made it through the doors. Raven shrugged. There was no way she was going back there.

Beast Boy and Cyborg verbally pounced Robin the moment he stepped inside.

"Hey Robin! Psychological question!"

The spikey-haired Titan stopped in the entrance before answering slowly. "Alright…"

"Say you're out swimmin' in the ocean and you ate food without waitin' an hour or somethin', and you see a shark coming right for you," Cyborg began. "You're just a few strokes away from a shore lined with palm trees. What do you do?"

"Get out of the water?" Robin stated, his mask tilting in confusion as to where the question was leading or how it was even close to psychological.

"Exactly. Therefore the shark is more dangerous to his health."

Beast Boy would not let Cyborg best him. "But Robin just got killed by a coconut that fell from a tree while he was watching the shark! See, even Robin can't outsmart coconuts!"

"Technically the death was the shark's fault because he distracted Robin."

"Did the shark kill him? I don't think so. It's like this," Beast Boy reasoned. "Spoons don't make people fat. Bread doesn't burn toast. Sharks don't kill people. Coconuts do!"

"There are so many things wrong with all that you just said," Cyborg sighed, shaking his head. He suddenly snapped his fingers. "But you forgot to add that as Robin stumbled back from being knocked senseless by the coconut, the shark jumped out of the ocean to eat him!"

"Dude, don't be ridiculous. A shark couldn't jump that far up onto the sand."

A few hours later, Raven returned to the ops room once again to find that her teammates had not moved in inch from the couch. Beast Boy held his hands out above his head, speaking dramatically.

"…And the screen would go dark, and then the final few words of the movie would come up, reading, 'Twenty people attacked every year by sharks. One hundred and fifty killed each year by coconuts. One man in the history of the world killed by both a shark and a coconut."

Raven inhaled, and the duo turned around to notice her standing there. She glanced between Cyborg and Beast Boy, smoothing her face into one devoid of any expression and then releasing her breath. "I don't care anymore."

Beast Boy propped his elbows on the top couch cushion, folding his hands together and balancing his chin on his fingers. "So whatcha doing, Rae?"

"Currently," Raven stated, retrieving a lonely book from the kitchen countertop, "leaving."

"You sure, Raven?" Cyborg looped his arm over the back of the sofa. "We were just wrapping up the convo here."

She risked a glimpse at her friends, and they beamed back. "I'll pass."

"Your loss!" Beast Boy exclaimed, falling back to look at Cyborg. "I was just about to show Cy here this awesome new fighting move I made up! I call it-," –he paused for dramatic effect- "the To-Fu."

Tilting his head to the side, Cyborg smirked. "You mean like a play on the word Kung-Fu?"

"Uh yeah." Beast Boy lowered his arms. "I thought it was obvious?"

Before Raven could make her escape with her rescued book in hand, the doors spread apart to reveal Robin and Starfire in the entrance. Robin nodded toward the larger Titan on the couch. "Cyborg, do you have a free minute? The R-Cycle needs a tune-up, and I don't know where you keep most of your tools."

"Sure man, be right there." Standing, the robotic teenager stretched out his arms above his head and then clapped Beast Boy on the shoulder. "Sorry, B, I guess you'll have to show me your To-Fu later. But as long as it's not that gross tofu gel you always eat. That stuff's terrible." Cyborg stopped and added with a giant grin, "I'd rather eat shark anyway."

Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at his departing friend, causing Starfire to giggle. She caught Raven's elbow as the empath was trying to slip out, and pulled her effortlessly over to the sofa. "Friends! While Robin and Cyborg are making the adjustments to vehicles, might we go out flying together? The weather is glorious, and we have not spent time together in such the long while!"

She had a point. On warm and sunny days, Raven, Starfire, and Beast Boy had made it a habit to take advantage of their flight abilities. Whenever the weather was perfect, one of the three –most commonly Starfire- would find one or both of the others and take to the air, enjoying the freedom from gravity that their powers provided. Something about soaring through the skies and feeling a breeze run through their hair was indescribably relaxing, not to mention addicting. But lately there hadn't been any good opportune moments to take advantage of their flight abilities, be it because of rain, villains, or the simple reason that Robin and Cyborg would feel left out.

Beast Boy grinned. "I'm up for it!"

Two pairs of emerald green eyes widened toward Raven who folded her arms, the novel in her fingers hanging loosely at the crook of her elbow. She grunted. "Fine."

"Wondrous!" Starfire released her hold on the darker girl to float above the ground. "Let us meet on the roof in five minutes!" She flew out of the room, and Raven massaged her temples.

"Why do I get the feeling this trip will be more stressful than calming?"

Jumping up and trotting around the couch, Beast Boy quickly raided the refrigerator for a cheese stick. "Because you're probably worried Star's gonna wanna go to the mall when we're done? Seriously Rae, don't worry about it." He faced her, kicking the white door behind him shut with his foot and peeling strips of cheese off of his snack. "We haven't gone out flying in forever. It'll be fun! And if you do get stuck at the mall with Star, I'll be there to keep you company!"

"Great." Raven started for the ops room's exit, and Beast Boy followed her. He started chewing his cheese only to hear Raven muttering beneath her breath something about misery and company. He chose to ignore it and swallowed.

"And if you get bored, I can always entertain you with my many knowledgeable facts about… Well, everything!"

"Haven't you talked about enough pointless things with Cyborg today?" Raven reminded as they traveled through the corridors in the direction of the roof. "I imagined the limit of mediocre words that can pass through your mouth would have been reached by now."

"Naw, I've got tons more up here!" Beast Boy tapped his head, and Raven made a questionable grunt of disbelief. The green shape-shifter crossed his arms only to accidentally fling a strip of cheese into the wall. He shrugged and kept walking. "Well, if you don't like my knowledgeable facts about everything, I've got a ton of jokes up my sleeve, just ready and waiting to be laughed at!"

The door to the roof appeared, and Raven breathed a sigh of relief. "Better tell them to Starfire then. I'm just lucky you won't be able to talk as an animal while we're flying," she muttered, pulling the handle back.

"Hey, my animal forms can talk up a great conversation just as well as my human self can! Adorable weird animal noises included!"

"Right."

Starfire wasn't waiting for them quite yet, but Raven could sense her moving throughout the hallways below. Beast Boy finished eating his cheese and then proceeded to try out various puns on Raven for the next number of minutes until the alien princess flew up to greet them.

She beamed, her scarlet hair glowing in the sunlight. "I am here, friends! Let our flight begin!" Her feet lifted off the ground.

Raven imitated her, lowering her hood to feel the light breeze flow through her locks. "Thank goodness. I don't know if I could have survived another minute of Beast Boy's jokes." She glared at him. "Do you ever stop talking?"

As if to answer her question, the shape-shifter transformed into a green hawk and cawed at her. Raven rolled her eyes, and she and Beast Boy glided after Starfire.

The three circled the tower a few times to get the feel of the air, and then Starfire suggested they head into Jump City. There were no objections, and soon the residents of the metropolis could spot the colorful trio swooping through the air. Starfire led them over the park and spun herself around in the sky, giggling. She always seemed the most at home in the sky, Raven noted.

Seeing Starfire's spin, Beast Boy squawked and performed a loop of his own. The redhead laughed, floating higher with her mane of hair flying about. Beast Boy cawed again, dipping down and then flapping up to Raven. He voiced a few chirps at her, but, already aware of what he wanted, Raven just crossed her arms. After a minute or so, the shape-shifter winged his way up to Starfire.

Raven glanced down at the park below. They were attracting onlookers. Fantastic. She didn't get the chance to make a remark, however, as a green boy suddenly dropped out of the air in front of her with a wild grin on his face. "Come on! Have some fun, Rae!"

She disregarded the gasps from below, and Beast Boy quickly switched into the form of a robin to swoop back up to her. He landed on her shoulder and chirped.

The empath crossed her arms. "I am not going to spin in the sky. You and Starfire are drawing enough attention as it is." A considerable crowd had flocked together below them, a couple bright flashes signaling that some held cameras. Starfire noticed as well, and, beaming, waved to the onlookers.

"Greetings! Is it not a glorious morning?" she exclaimed.

Raven glided over to Starfire as the park's residents shouted compliments up to her. "Let's go somewhere else. We're drawing too much attention."

"Oh, I apologize." The alien girl waved down to everyone. "We must take the leave now! It was enjoyable meeting you!"

Raven rolled her eyes yet again as their audience called back and even whistled a few times. With one more goodbye, the Titans headed further into town. Beast Boy swooped ahead and morphed into his human self for a few seconds.

"The park was-." He shifted and flapped higher before turning back into human. "-fun! We should-." Shift. Flap. Shift again. "-go back!"

"Turn into a parrot already," Raven grunted. "You're giving me a headache."

Changing one more time, Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at her before transforming into the suggested parrot and flapping alongside the two girls. "The city smells bad," he complained in a creaky voice, and then adding with a croak, "Bad! Raawk! Bad!"

Raven shook her head at him even though she silently agreed. The park was the best place to fly above Jump City since there was a considerable less amount of polluted fog in the air there. Still, they'd come out to fly, not show off with loops.

The flutter of green feathers was slowing, and with a push, he hooked his claws on Raven's lowered hood. Starfire giggled. "Friend Beast Boy, are you growing tired? Why do you not change into something else?"

He poked at the back of Raven's head with his clawed foot. "She wanted me to be a parrot. Raawk! Parrot!" he repeated unnecessarily as the green bird settled into her hood, feathers fluffing with the wind. Raven's violet eye twitched.

"Do I look like a taxi to you?"

His only response was a loud squawk of humor, and with a silent sigh, Raven looked down at the streets far below. The traffic was as slow as usual, and the streets were lined with people milling about or in the rush to get somewhere. She had to admit that she was glad to have agreed with Starfire's request to fly. The weather was perfect for a day out. A glance at the alien princess told Raven that the redhead was enjoying herself just as much as her teammate.

All of her thoughts were ripped away when the tiny weight of Beast Boy's bird form suddenly transformed into that of a human, and, caught off guard, they both dropped. Waving her hands, Raven summoned a disk to stop their fall a few feet above rush hour. She spun toward her teammate furiously, but he was pointing ahead of them.

"Raven!"

A large black truck was soaring through the air aimed straight for the highway. Raven extended her arms. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" The vehicle was heavy, but she managed to stop it from colliding with the road. Beast Boy was already flying up to Starfire by the time Raven found a place to put it down without endangering anyone.

The empath glided up to her teammates, and Starfire motioned a couple of blocks down. A car was burning and sending sparks dancing over the road, and, roaring a few feet away, an enormous stone creature picked up another vehicle to throw into the street. Drivers had already abandoned their wheels to flee before they were snatched from the lanes like the first truck had been. Starfire fired a few starbolts, and the jeep soaring toward them exploded in midair.

"We've got to distract him long enough to get civilians out of here," Raven stated as she caught the debris with her powers and sent them back to Cinderblock. Starfire and Beast Boy nodded, splitting up. Starfire flew to the ground to help the panicked people who needed the most help while Beast Boy took it upon himself to occupy Cinderblock's attention. Raven quickly snapped open her communicator.

"Robin. Cinderblock's out of jail again," she stated, training an eye on the rock monster.

Robin's face appeared on the communicator's round screen. "We just received the alert. Are Starfire and Beast Boy with you?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I'm sure you can handle it, but we'll be on our way just in case."

Cinderblock had begun moving down the main street, destroying cars, various signs, and other miscellaneous objects as he went. When he paused to break another vehicle and roar at the clouds in the sky, Beast Boy launched himself off of a roof, transforming midair into a hawk and swooping toward the colossal beast.

A flash of green flitted by Cinderblock's eye, and the rock creature shook his head in irritation. Beast Boy dove in, scratching with sharp talons at his enemy's head, and Cinderblock snapped at the bird. When Beast Boy repeated his actions, he gained Cinderblock's full attention. The stone being flung a car door at the Titan who dipped to avoid the attack.

Beast Boy continued to provoke Cinderblock, biting and clawing to keep the monster thoroughly distracted. With a frustrated bellow, Cinderblock tossed a stop sign at the green hawk, and Beast Boy stopped short as it flew into a window beside him. The pane shattered upon impact, spraying glass everywhere, and already flying back, Beast Boy's retreat was cut off abruptly when a giant fist crashed into his body.

As temporary blackness faded from his vision, he found himself pinned to the side of the building by the creature's giant hands. The Titan shifted fast. A bird to a bear to a snake, but Cinderblock's grip refused to let him go. With one thumb pressed against his throat and his other fingers tight around Beast Boy's thin body, the rock monster had the boy trapped, and it hurt. The stone fingers curled in, and sharp pain shot up through the changeling's human body, forcing a shout out of him. He swore something cracked seconds before a black-encased car slammed into Cinderblock. Raven flew by with shimmering hands as Beast Boy collapsed on the ground.

As the dark sorceress smashed another empty vehicle on top of the monster, a strong wave of panic crashed into her from behind. Cinderblock was stirring, and so she threw one more truck on top of him for good measure before turning around to find the source of the alarm.

Beast Boy's hands were around his throat, his back shuddering and jolting every few seconds, and his face was turning a strange shade of pale green as he knelt on all fours. Raven landed next to him, and the boy lifted his eyes to her, opening his mouth before wincing violently. A loud crash from Cinderblock distracted Raven again, but flashes of green light told her Starfire could handle the rock monster for now.

She stooped beside him, the boy now grasping at his chest with one fist while his other hand cradled his neck. His jaw moved again without any sound, and his eyes were wet. The answer hit her. He couldn't breathe.

Without hesitation, she pressed her hands over his throat, her gray fingertips shining with a blue-white light, and the damage she found inside was shocking. His windpipe was completely crushed. Moving her palms across his skin, Raven poured her mending magic into Beast Boy's neck. She nearly faltered when his eyelids fell closed and he tipped forward onto her lap, unconscious, but her healing light remained strong. Raven chanted her mantra, knowing she had to fix the windpipe as soon as possible so he could get some oxygen to his brain, and when the weak trembling in his body melted into the faint rise and fall of his chest, Raven could at last relax. She continued healing the problems that remained, only a little aware of the shaking adrenaline that slowly died down in her arms as she finished.

She hadn't realized how much time had passed until she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Starfire peering down at her with wide eyes. "Fr-friend Raven…?" The empath removed her fingers from Beast Boy's neck.

"He's okay," Raven said, referring to the green boy on her lap who had yet to awaken. Cyborg and Robin were standing over Starfire's shoulder, the former's stance ridged, fury seeping out of him while Robin simply listened with muted concern. In the background, Cinderblock's enormous body was stretched out across the street, strapped down with melted lampposts. Raven explained. "Cinderblock damaged his windpipe. He passed out as I was healing him."

Robin nodded. "Cyborg, go get the T-car. Let's get Beast Boy back to the tower to make sure he's alright."

The robotic Titan left without a word, hurriedly jogging down the road around Cinderblock's body as the authorities arrived. They started doing what they could to pull and push the unconscious monster into a massive transportation vehicle. While Cyborg retrieved his car, Robin and Starfire assisted Raven in lifting Beast Boy off of the empath's lap. Barely a minute passed before Cyborg returned, and the team helped guide the shape-shifter into the back of the T-car.

A gray, dusty ceiling greeted him as Beast Boy sluggishly opened his eyes. The green Titan narrowed his eyebrows and blinked as the haze from sleep faded away. They really needed to clean up there. Not that he was going to bring it up since Robin would most likely make the shape-shifter do it if he said anything.

Beast Boy smacked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, surprised how dry it felt, and slowly sat up. The infirmary looked as it always had, with an advanced computer in one corner and a few beds scattered around the room for any others who needed medical assistance.

Wait, what was he doing in the medical bay anyway? Beast Boy frowned, unconsciously rubbing his neck. There was a fight with Cinderblock, he recalled. He'd seen a giant truck flying toward him and Raven, so he'd turned back into a human to make them fall out of the way. She hadn't looked very happy. And then…

Oh yeah, Cinderblock had totally kicked his butt.

Beast Boy noticed a slight movement from the chair by the computer system. Cyborg was looking at a few x-ray pictures on the screen. The green boy opened his mouth to call over to his friend, but all that came out of his throat was a brush of raw pain. Confused and slightly irritated, Beast Boy massaged the skin around his Adam's apple and tried again with the same result. Frustrated, he kicked at the sheets on the bed. Cyborg didn't seem to realize he was awake yet, and so Beast Boy picked up a pillow to throw it at his friend.

The cushion connected perfectly with the back of Cyborg's head. "Hey!" He turned around, rubbing the place of contact and making Beast Boy roll his eyes. There was no way that had hurt. Cyborg brightened. "Oh, hey man! You feelin' alright? Wait, what am I sayin'? You threw a pillow at me; that's a surefire sign you're fine." The robotic Titan smiled. "And if you weren't, I'd have to have a talk with Raven, but it looks like she healed whatever bruises Cinderblock might've given ya."

Beast Boy tried to speak again, but all he could do was mouth the words. Cyborg squinted at him with his human eye, and Beast Boy shook his head.

"Uh, BB? What's up, man?"

The shape-shifter gestured helplessly.

"Okay Beast Boy, quit fooling around." Cyborg folded his arms, although the sudden worried expression on his face wouldn't go away. "What's goin' on? Talk to me, man."

That's when Beast Boy realized:

He couldn't.

The coconut and shark conversation is based on a true conversation my family and I had. We're a weird little bunch. I plan to focus on more humor with this fanfiction than I have with my last two, and I hope you all enjoy it.