Well, it's been awhile... I apologize, but I hope this makes up for it. A relatively long chapter with flashbacks. Please leave a review if you feel inclined!

"Mrs. Patmore, the upstairs dinner will begin an hour earlier than usual. Are you on schedule?" Mr. Carson shuffled into the kitchen for the twelfth time that afternoon.

Mrs. Patmore dropped the pans she was holding with a loud clank followed by an exasperated sigh. "Mr. Carson," she turned to him with her guns drawn, "why don't you take a long long walk through the village? Or an extensive check on the upstairs rooms? Or even re-polish every candlestick in the house? Anything to get you out of my kitchen."

His eyebrows drew together and he stood tall. "I have a job to do, Mrs. Patmore. I must see that the dinner preparations are on schedule."

"Mr. Carson," she calmed herself and walked closer to have a private word. "I have a job to do too and that job is made much easier when you are out of my kitchen. So shoo!"

He swallowed his retort and backed out of the room.

"Thank the heavens above she's coming back today." Mrs. Patmore went back to her work. "I can't babysit that grown man for a day longer."

He was at loose ends. What was there to occupy his time? He had no little girl running in to tell him about the game she was playing or a little boy to watch explore his office. But most of all, Charles was keenly away of his wife's absence. His evenings, usually spent sipping tea and conversing with the housekeeper, were unnaturally silent.

He shuffled upstairs to change into his gray suit. Hopefully, a walk would take his mind off his anticipation.

Charles walked through the gardens, through the farms, and all the way around the village in the next hour and a half. With only an hour more to kill before their train, he sat down on a bench along the tracks. He bought a paper and unfolded it. Instead of reading, his mind drifted into the past.

At the same moment, Elsie Carson sat on a train with her daughter and son recalling the same memories of separation and unyielding love.

5 years ago

Gracie was situated in the corner or their bedroom, laying on her ever growing tummy. At almost three months, she was able to lift her head and observe her surroundings. Her little legs kicked against the floor boards, like she was trying to swim to her Da who sat on the edge of the bed where her mummy still laid.

"Els." Charles moved her shoulder less gently than before. "Now you really need to get ready. We must be off in less than an hour."

She acted as though his words didn't reach her.

He took a sterner tone. "This dallying will not prevent the inevitable."

He was right. She sighed and gave a slight nod, nuzzling her soft pillow. "Give me a moment. I'll be ready."

He stood and made his way over to the small round face checking him out. "Come Gracie," he said, his voice animated, "let's leave Mummy to get ready."

"No," Elsie interrupted, sitting up like lightening struck her. "Leave her there. She seemed quite content."

Charles was not prepared to deny her anything that day, especially time with her child. He left Gracie with a kiss on her head and exited through the bedroom door.

As soon as she heard the door click, she sprung into action. Her feet hit the floor and made their way over to her daughter. She picked her up from her spot on her blanket and rested her against her shoulder. On any other day, Elsie would whisper adoring words into her ear and smile at her girl's chubby cheeks, but Elsie found there were no words left to come out. Instead, she planted countless kisses on her forehead as she sank into the chair beside their bed.

Elsie looked at the closed door before finding words for her daughter. "Don't tell your Da," she whispered, lowering her nightgown. "It will be our little secret."

Grace found the milk from her mother and sucked. Her eyes remained open and alert, almost a-tuned to her mother's need for a connection. Elsie wasn't aware of the steps outside the door.

He set his sights on mother and daughter immediately; the daughter was solely focused on food, but mother focused on him. She looked surprised and guilty at his entrance. "I thought I would feed her before we leave," he said. Charles discerned that the bottle he carried was unneeded.

"One last time, love," Elsie spoke quietly, eyes only for the bundle in her arms. "She… I need this."

He knew she did. He sat on the edge of their bed, facing his family, the bottle resting on his knee. "I was pleased she took to these so quickly." He shook the bottle of still warm milk.

Elsie nodded. "It was a blessing. It made some decisions much easier."

It was his turn to nod. "And I think we are both confident that we made the best decision for us all." His words were hollow at the moment and comforted no one. "And we still agree to leave her for one week before we visit?"

Elsie nodded. It was for the best.

As Grace finished, Charles stepped in. "I'll take her now. You need to get ready."

Elsie didn't put up a fight and let him scoop up the comfortable weight perviously in her arms. "I'll need help with my corset."

Laying Grace on their bed, Charles was ready to help. He stood behind her and pulled the stays so they were snug around her waist. Elsie looked at her flattened form in the mirror. She hadn't donned her corset since she left English soil. And now that it was time to return, the housekeeper must also return. Minus one sprinkle of life growing inside her.

As soon as she had her case packed and her hat secured, she reached for her baby and Charles relinquished.

A few days after Grace's birth, Charles was forced to return to Downton, but managed frequent trips back to the highlands. Now, he was there to bring his wife and daughter home, or bring his housekeeper back to Downton and his daughter to Ripon where she would reside.

The decision was discussed at length during the months after Elsie found she was pregnant and the months after Grace was born. Both Charles and Elsie agreed they had to keep their jobs and they couldn't bare it if their daughter was brought up calling anyone else Mummy and Da. Their best situation was Mrs. Leplin's home. The woman in her 50's ran a childcare in Ripon. Usually she watched children by day while their parents worked, but she agreed to take Grace day and night. The distance would allow Charles and Elsie to be involved in their daughter's life. They could spend their half days visiting alone or together. It was in no way ideal, but it was bearable.

"Ready?" Charles asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Elsie answered, wrapping Grace tighter in her blanket. She still had the whole train ride with her girl.

Unfortunately, the train ride did not allow enough time for her appeasement. Elsie's eyes never closed as the train tracked on through the day. Her eyes fixated on her daughter through Grace's naps and bottle feedings. Charles offered to hold her for a while if only to give Elsie's arms a break. Elsie refused and repositioned Grace on her legs.

Arriving at the Ripon station, their walls were up. It was past 11 and the town was mostly asleep, making their mission inconspicuous, their secret undetected. The silence from the streets encouraged the strained situation. Elsie carried her sleeping babe close to her chest. Charles carried two cases, one full of their things and one of Grace's things.

It was only a short walk through the thick night from the station to Grace's new home. Charles knocked on the door and Mrs. Leplin led the family into the living room.

"This must be little Grace." Mrs. Leplin moved closer to the babe in her mother's arms. Elsie tilted her baby closer to her chest. Mrs. Leplin seemed not to notice this mother's protective instinct and set her hand on Grace's head. "Let me see this little love."

She slowly lowered Grace's blanket, revealing two light blue eyes.

"Hello, Grace Elizabeth." Grace blinked at the new face. "She's looking right at me!" Mrs. Leplin went to lift her from Elsie, but Elsie turned her body back towards Charles.

Charles drew Mrs. Leplin's attention. "This is my wife, Mrs. Carson." He knew Mrs. Leplin from years back. She nodded politely. "And here is Grace's case."

Mrs. Leplin moved over to Mr. Carson as he explained everything they brought: nappies, a few bottles, a change of clothes, and her blanket. While Charles took care of the essentials, Elsie held Grace tight.

She wanted this moment to sink in and fill her completely, this moment with her little girl in her arms. She gazed into the brilliant blue eyes that captivated her from the moment they were opened. Her little pink tongue pressed through her lips. She kicked her legs and they quickly retracted back into her body. She went to stretch her arms and they barely reached above her head. Elsie brushed her hair line with the back of her fingers. Grace's hands touched her mother's finger and latched on. Marveling at the tight grasp, Elsie lowered their joined hands to Grace's little chest.

"Els," her husband whispered leaning over her shoulder, "it's time." He brought his hand to Grace's head.

Elsie bit her lip, and with a swift nod of acknowledgment she lowered her head. Their foreheads touched, Elsie committed her baby scent to memory. Words would be superfluous and she wasn't sure she could manage any. She placed her lips on Grace's pudgy cheek.

Charles turned to face her and lifted Grace from her mother's arms. Elsie let it happen.

Charles turned to Mrs. Leplin and said his own goodbye to his little daughter. "We'll be back my girl."

Mrs. Leplin reached down and lifted Grace away from her family. When Charles turned from his goodbye, Elsie was already waiting by the front door. When she noticed a strangers embrace, Grace let out a mew of protest. It was agonizing for both parents, yet they couldn't turn around.

"Thank you, Mrs. Leplin," Charles breathed. "We shall be back in a week to visit."

He joined his wife at the door. She didn't looked back.

Elsie no sooner trudged through the Downton service door, than the cook was upon her.

"Mrs. Hughes!" The cook greeted her with enthusiasm at the door. "It's good to see your face again." It had been half a year since the housekeeper stepped into her domain.

"Good evening Mrs. Patmore." Mrs. Hughes gave the most enthusiastic greeting she could muster. "I hope you weren't waiting up for me?"

"You know I would have if I had known you were returning today. Mr. Carson said he would be back late, but I'm surprised he hasn't arrived yet."

"Of course," the housekeeper bit her lip.

"How is your sister?"

Mrs. Hughes turned to the cook. "She is better, thank you. She is finally back on her feet and has a friend looking in on her. I am confident that she is well cared for." The staff didn't know the extent of Becky's disability, but she never lied about it. There were just things she doesn't say. "Now if you'll excuse me, tomorrow will come soon enough."

"Back to the daily grind, Mrs. Hughes." The housekeeper forced a smile. "But we'll chat tomorrow. Go on up now, I'll wait for Mr. Carson."

Mrs. Hughes didn't put up a fuss, she was exhausted. She made her way to the stairs with heavy steps, a heavy case, and a heavy heart.

She walked to her own room first, but only long enough to stow away the few dresses she brought in her case that she wore when pregnant. Then she reached into her closet and pulled out her Mrs. Hughes costumes. She folded all two of her black uniforms into her case. That was all she needed before she slipped off her shoes and carried them through the servants hallway.

Mr. Carson made his way to his room with an extremely light suitcase. After Mrs. Patmore let him in, he locked up and followed the same steps his housekeeper made half an hour before. He opened his door and the sight brought back the events of the day.

His wife watched him as the door opened. She already unpacked both their clothes from her case and put on her nightgown. Although exhaustion had long since sunk in, she was unable to succumb quite yet. She laid on his bed with her hair down and her legs curled under her newly finished blue paisley blanket. She nestled on her side, facing the door.

Her husband shuffled around quietly placing his case, now empty of Grace's belongings, above his wardrobe. Dressing in his pajamas, he slid beside his wife. Their double bed creaked at the added weight.

She felt the creak and the shift of the mattress. Waiting, anticipating protective arms to encircle her, she moved her hips back into his. When his arms fell heavy around her, she gripped his fingers, as her Grace had gripped hers hours before. The tears fell silently, analogous to her silent grief. She held her husband and her blanket with such ferocity, that her fingers began to ache. Her eyes would not close in peace that night. She was incomplete.

At breakfast, the staff welcomed the housekeeper with warm smiles and gracious greetings. With her mask on, she returned the sentiment. The butler entered a short time later and delegated tasks for the day.

"Mrs. Hughes," Miss Baxter caught the housekeeper walking into her office. "Is it possible for Anna and I to go over the books with you? I'm afraid my marks may need some explanation."

"It's possible. Do you have time now?"

She nodded. "I'll get Anna."

They met in the housekeeper's sitting room. "I trust your sister is better?" Anna inquired. "We were quite worried about you. I never thought you would be away for such a length of time, not that you don't deserve the time away."

"And I thank you and Miss Baxter for keeping this house running." Both woman deserved high praise for their months of work.

"Mrs. Hughes," Thomas knocked on the door frame. "Her ladyship is in the drawing room and asking for you."

"Thank you Mr. Barrow." The three ladies left the housekeeper's domain and Mrs. Hughes made her way to the drawing room.

"Mrs. Hughes! Come in." The housekeeper entered and stood to the side of her lady. "Please, sit."

Mrs. Hughes was growing more accustomed to sitting in her ladyship's presence. The last time being when she was 5 months pregnant. She chose a straight back chair and perched on the edge.

"How are you, Mrs. Hughes? Or I suppose I can say Mrs. Carson as long as we're alone." She smiled politely. "And how is your daughter? I hope Carson relayed our congratulations to you."

"He did, milady, thank you. We are both well. My daughter… Grace…" She swallowed the storm inside her threatening to surface. "She is perfect. Simply perfect."

Lady Grantham smiled at the new mother's awing. "Did you know Mrs. Leplin was Sybil's nanny for her last two years in the nursery."

"I did, milady."

"She was wonderful with her. I know your daughter is well cared for," she reassured. "She was like a second mother. Sybil would talk on and on about her favorite nanny. Since I couldn't be her full time caregiver, I'm glad Nanny Leplin was there for her. And your daughter's residence nearby is rather ideal."

In her credit, Elsie could see she was trying to help. But Lady Grantham's lack of understanding left her speechless. Grace didn't need a second mother. She already had a mother who was dedicated to her protection and care. Not for the first time, Elsie wished her baby never had to leave her cocoon. That she could stay with her mother, always.

Lady Grantham continued. "More than anything, I was pleased to hear you would be back. You are invaluable to us and we could never find a more suitable housekeeper."

In that moment, Elsie didn't want to be that housekeeper. She only wanted to be a mother. "I thank you for your great compliment, my lady." She stood, ready to get out of the room. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Not at this time, thank you."

Right after she left her ladyship, she donned her coat, hat, purse, and made her way to the kitchen. "Mrs. Patmore, I'm looking in at a few shops in the village. We are short on polish, thread, and this and that." She started briskly towards the door, "I'll be back before Mr. Carson." The fact that Mr. Carson was out meeting with a wine vendor, was absolutely perfect timing. He needn't know about this.

"I will try and keep the house upright, Mrs. Hughes," she muttered dropping her work and following after the retreating housekeeper. "Are you sure your errands can't wait for tomorrow? It will be dark soon."

"I'm afraid not Mrs. Patmore." She closed the door behind her. "I'm terribly afraid they won't."

By the time she made it to the door step, she was desperate. She was winded from her brisk walk from the bus station and her hair fell from it's bindings. The door opened to her insistent knocking. "Mrs. Carson! I didn't expect…"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Leplin, but I need to see Grace. Where is my baby?" She stepped through the doorway without waiting for an invitation.

Without time to close the front door, Mrs. Leplin gestured to the back of the house.

Elsie could feel that her baby was close. With a rush of adrenaline she made her way through the cracked door and finally set eyes on her girl.

Grace was awake, she escaped from her blue paisley blanket by actively stretching and kicking. Elsie made the pink sleeper she wore underneath. Her eyes were fixed on the being holding her. She sucked on the bottle he held to her lips. Her crazy mass of brown curls shifted too and fro as she drank. The body holding her rose to his feet when Elsie walked in.

She turned her glossy eyes from her baby, to her husband. "Charles," she said in a voice full of awe.

"Els," Charles answers her unasked question, "I couldn't… I tried, but…" He held his daughter closer as his bottled emotions broke through. He had to be strong for her, but his heartbreak was just as severe. She could see it in the way he held her and his crestfallen features.

"Oh Charlie," she whispered rushing to him. She gripped his upper arms and pressed her body to the other side of their daughter's. "I can't fault you with anything I have done myself."

He freed his hand that previously held the bottle upright and brought it to his wife's cheek. The abandoned bottle was certainly noticed by the little one.

"How about you spend some time with your Mummy." He lowered Grace to her mother.

As the weight transferred, Elsie could finally breath again. She was complete. All the pain of moments before melted away.

"Hello, darling," Elsie cooed, finally calm. "I'm here, love." Grace recognized the voice and embrace. She drew her tiny lips into a line and scrunched her eyes; the playful face reserved for her parents. She nuzzled her forehead against her mother's chest.

"She may still be hungry." Charles sat back on the settee. "She barely started when you barged in and took her away from me." He handed her the bottle, still mostly full.

Taking the bottle she placed it right back on the side table. Elsie used her freed hand to unbutton the top of her dress. "Don't start Charles Carson," she warned.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He patted the seat beside him. "Now sit down so I can see my girl."

Elsie sat close to her husband. His arm went around her shoulder and she leaned into his shoulder. Charle's other hand reached to his daughter's head who laid against her mother's breast.

"I was just telling her about her Mummy and how much she missed her," Charles revealed.

"Mummy is it?" she asked in a jesting tone. "I always thought I'd be Mam."

He shook his head. "I like Mummy better."

"Well then, if you get to pick Mummy than I think she should call you Da." Elsie smiled. "We've held many conversations about how much her Da missed us when he had to leave."

"Alright, Mummy and Da."

They were silent while Grace finished her feeding, taking comfort from their family. As Grace nursed, her eye lids grew too heavy to keep them open. And so with a few slow blinks, her eyes closed for the night and her suckling stopped.

"We should take her up," Charles whispered. Elsie nodded and rose.

Following Mrs. Leplin's directions, they found the nursery; a small room with cream wall paper. Against the far wall were three cots, only one currently inhibited by a young sleeping lad. The only crib sat to the left of the door. Beside the crib was a rather large side table with a lamp and beside that lamp were a few of Grace's things: bottles, nappies, and the booties Aileen knitted. Charles moved the things around to make room for Grace to lay.

Elsie managed to change Grace's nappie without waking her completely and brought her back to her mother's shoulder. By that time, Grace's thumb found its way to her mouth. Elsie relished in this moment before she had to say goodbye again. With Grace coiled tight in her arms, she now focused on her husband standing to her left. He let her have her moment, without complaint. But Elsie knew that he needed Grace as much as she did.

"Here, I think she needs her Da to put her to bed." Grace slipped gently from her Mummy to her Da and now rested against his shoulder. It seemed she shrank in the transfer, she appeared smaller in his giant arms; a mere feather in his palm. He began humming and then singing.

Sleep my child and peace attend thee,

All through the night

Guardian angels God will send thee,

All through the night

Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,

Hill and dale in slumber sleeping

I my loved ones' watch am keeping,

All through the night

He brushed her short curls from her forehead and gave her a kiss. Elsie joined her family and placed a kiss on Grace's cheek. Charles placed her on her back and hung her blanket on the side. The gentle sniffles and rhythmic rise and fall of her chest soothed both father and mother as they left.

"Six more days." Charles held her hand behind his back as they sat on the train to Downton.

"That will give me time to finish the new dress I'm making," Elsie said, squeezing his hand.

Charles smiled, "What a lovely thought to carry us through."

They risked exchanging a loving look. The late train was almost completely empty and did not house any locals. Feeling the need to be closer to her he stretched his arm so it wrapped around her back. She took the cue and shuffled herself closer.

"I do love you Elsie," he tried his best to whisper.

"I love you too," she replied.

He leaned towards the window so only she could hear. "Elsie Carson, When I talk about love, I don't say it as simply a habit or to make conversation. It's a reminder that you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. And our Grace… she's the miracle that makes my life complete. As long as I have the both of you, I will want for nothing."

Present

The wail of the whistle alerted him to the approaching train. He lowered his paper and folded it carefully, placing it on the bench where he previously sat. He made his way to the back of the platform, where he hoped to soon to be greeted by a jumping 5 year old, a smiling almost 1 year old, and an exhausted wife of unannounced age.

He caught a glimpse as the iron horse raced through the trees and then emerged, slowing towards the station. Though he knew she couldn't see him yet, he lifted his hand and waved. He suspected Elsie would have Grace plastered to the window, searching for him.

Sure enough, as the last car came into view, he saw Grace's nose smushed against the glass. He directed his wave and smile at the flat face. She jumped back when she finally noticed him. He suspected Grace was relaying her success to Elsie and William. She reappeared flailing her hand just as the car came to a stop.

"DA!" She jumped into his arms as soon as he opened the carriage door. She held herself up with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He caught her in his left arm and held onto her hat as it tipped off her head.

"Gracie Girl!" Her curls smothered his face and blurred his vision. "Let me get a look at you." He pulled her back so he could take a look at her smiling face. "It can't be you! Why, you've grown at least 10 centimeters since I last saw you." He tickled her side as she squirmed out of his grasp.

"Will-am!" She called back into the train car. "It's Da!"

Miss Baxter stepped down holding a groggy William in one arm and her case in the other.

"Welcome home Miss Baxter." Mr. Carson said. "Let me take one of those loads off your hands."

"In that case, take your boy. He's the heavier of the two!" She stepped onto the platform while her right side was unburdened.

William finally came to enough to realize who was holding him. "Dadadada," he called, wearing a toothy grin and bouncing his body up and down. His chubby hands reached to his Da's face and landed on his nose and eye.

Charles moved William's hands off his face. "Well my boy, you've done some growing as well. You'll be catching up to your sister soon."

Grace was appalled at the mere suggestion. "No Da! Will-am's a baby. I'm bigger than a baby!" she exclaimed proudly.

Charles looked down at Grace who stood almost on top of his toes. "You'll stay my little baby if your Da tells you to."

He surprised her by scooping her up again in his other arm. His quick movement had both his children squealing with excitement.

"Well, I see this handsome stranger already has a girl in his arms," a woman commented, stepping out of the carriage with her two bags. "It seems all the good blokes are taken."

Charles looked up and smiled at the woman, letting Grace slide to the ground. "It seems so." He walked over to her, the two cases abandoned beside her. "And you, traveling alone without a male companion?" His eyebrows rose in suggestion.

"I beg your pardon sir, but I am a married woman." She sounded aghast.

"I apologize." He walked closer. "I just assumed as there was no one here to greet you."

"Oh, my husband should be along any time now," she replied confidently.

"Oh really." Charles stopped when he was toe to toe with her.

"Yes, once he is through smooching with his other girl and little lad."

His eyebrows rose again in shock as his head bent towards hers. "Honestly, some men these days."

"It's appalling," she managed to say before her lips were otherwise occupied.

As they were still in the public eye, husband and wife exchanged merely a peck before breaking apart, laughing internally at their little game.

"Da!" Grace made herself known between the two. She reached for her Da's hand and pulled him will all her strength. "We has to go quick! Dolly's sick!"

"Dolly's sick?" Charles looked a Grace with worry lines crossing his face. "Is it the flu again?"

Grace shook her head and gave another tug on his arm. "No, she's lost her eye."

Elsie picked up their two cases and began walking towards the car, making sure her entourage followed.

"It would seem Dolly was attacked," Elsie continued.

Charles met her stride with Grace tugging ahead of him. Miss Baxter stood waiting at the car. "What kind of creature was it?"

"The human kind! William chewed it off while she was sleeping." Elsie smiled, trying to hold in her guffaws. Charles looked at her with a shocked expression, wondering why such a thing was so funny. "Don't worry, I've got the button in my pocket." That fact allowed him to relax. "Grace woke from her nap to fine a one eyed doll. After, what appeared to be, the hardest thinking she has done so far in her life, she deduced that an evil witch cast a spell on her. And she will only waken with loves true kiss."

"And which prince does she have in mind?"

"Why Mr. Barrow of course, who else." That line lead to Charles' guffaw that had Miss Baxter staring at him like she had never seen him before.

They reached the car and Charles lifted Grace into the backseat and sat William on Miss Baxter's lap. He shushed the driver back to the front as he assisted Elsie with the luggage on the back.

"It's good to be home." He stated as he secured the last piece of luggage.

"Charles, you've been home for over a week."

He brushed her shoulder as he stepped to her side. "No, I've been at Downton for over a week. I only returned home when you stepped off that train, my love."