Noya and Asahi are dating.. Right? They kiss and stuff.. But Noya leaves one day for a trip he doesn't take Asahi on so.. Maybe it was just Asahi?

In which Asahi and Noya start fooling around sometimes and Asahi takes it as more than it is. Becca made me do it (Angst Angst Angst)

Asahi-san's gonna love this, Noya thought to himself as he zipped down the road on his brand new bike. After a few minutes of making his way through the small amount of traffic, he arrived at the "Miyagi Auto Shop" and found the tall mechanic quickly.

"Asahi-san!" He called out and Asahi looked up from his current project, seeing the small ex-libero pulling up on.. a bike? Asahi thought and the smirk on Noya's mouth told him he was correct. Noya stopped right outside the garage and stepped off the bike, sauntering up towards Asahi.

Dammit, Noya's so fucking "hot." Asahi whispered the last word aloud and by the look on Noya's face, he had heard him. "U-uh!" Asahi stuttered out and Noya smiled.

"It is pretty hot outside." He said and Asahi took the bait like a life line.

"Y-yeah it is!" Asahi started and then looked around. "Water?" He asked and then walked to the little water cooler that was out there.

"Sure!" Noya said and walked over with Asahi, taking his helmet off and whipping his head back and forth, hair sticking up in the back but otherwise flat.

"Noya-san?" Asahi asked and then continued when the other was sipping on his water. "Why do you have a bike?" He finished and Noya gave him a the look he always does when he's asked a stupid question.

"Why do you think, Asahi-san?" Noya questioned right back and Asahi flushed a little.

"Sorry, that was a dumb question. Why did you buy a bike?" He rephrased and Noya smirked up at him.

"I just love the feeling of something powerful between my legs, you know?" Noya stated calmly, Asahi feeling his face going completely red and he was fairly certain that he was steaming with how hot his face was. Luckily Noya hadn't been facing him so Asahi surged forward toward the metal beast in front of him.

"This is a really beautiful bike." Asahi told Noya quietly and started running his fingers over the frame, feeling every dip and curvature that the metal had beneath his fingertips and he smiled.

"I got her for only ¥135,000, which is super cheap for the condition she's in." Noya explained from right behind Asahi, who screeched slightly in surprise that the other were that close.

"So did you just bring her by to brag?"Asahi asked and Noya smirked, running into the garage and grabbing one of the helmets that was by Asahi's work station and his own that he had set down.

"Did you wanna go for a ride?" He asked and Asahi gulped. He wasn't too sure about Noya's driving but the other had that confident air about him that he just couldn't say no to. He strapped on his helmet and waited for Noya to do the same and then get on first, Asahi immediately sitting behind him.

"Please don't drive too fast, you know these things scare me." Asahi mumbled and Noya smirked. Uh oh.. That's not good, Asahi thought to himself and then quickly wrapped his arms around Noya's middle as he took off at a faster speed than he probably should and Asahi held on tighter. "Noya!" He yelled, completely forgetting the honorific in his bout fear and he could feel Noya laugh in front of him, starting to go a little faster.

"Asahi-san, I won't crash. You can look up, just hold on tight." Noya said as he swerved around a car to avoid any problems but Asahi kept his eyes shut tight and face buried in Noya's loose jacket he had on.

"Noya please." Asahi begged and Noya chuckled.

"C'mon Asahi, open your eyes. Have some faith in me like old times?" He goaded and Asahi sighed, lifting his head and setting it on Noya's shoulder as well as he could with the height difference and the helmets and slowly opened his eyes, the whip of the wind on his face immediately making them water.

"Noya-san, this is terrifying." Asahi mumbled loudly so Noya could hear him and knew the other was still smirking.

"You'll get use to it, you and your glass heart." Noya teased and Asahi whined, tightening his grip slightly and shifting forward as best he could with the force being pulled against his massive body.

"Can we go back now? I still have work to do." Asahi begged and Noya nodded.

"Sure thing!" He said excitedly and made a quick U-turn when there was no chance for a possible wreck.

They made it back in one piece and Asahi all but kissed the ground when they stopped and he was finally off the death trap.

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Noya said as he clapped a hand onto Asahi's back. Asahi could feel the warmth of the others hand through his shirt and he smiled.

"Sorry, Noya-san." He said with a soft laugh and Noya smiled up at him, making Asahi's heart thump in his chest. They stood there for a little longer and only broke eye contact when someone dropped a tool in the garage and Asahi flushed a bright red color.

"I-I'll see ya later, Noya-san!" He called and then practically ran to the garage. It had been such an odd day and Asahi needed to recuperate.

"Asahi?"

"Asahi? Did you drop your phone or something?"

"Azumane Asahi! You called me now talk to me!"

"Okay! I'm sorry, Suga!" Asahi said finally, his breathing slightly labored.

"What'd you need?" Suga asked and then sat patiently for Asahi to answer, knowing full well that it could take a while.

"Noya-san came by today." He said simply. Good, this was a good start. Knowing Suga, he'd ask all the right questions and Asahi wouldn't have to be confused anymore.

"Nishinoya? Oh that's nice. What did he want? You haven't seen him for a while have you?" Suga asked and Asahi could feel a metaphorical weight being lifted off his shoulders.

"He got a bike. And yeah, I haven't seen him in three or four months. He just dropped by today without warning." Asahi mumbled and Suga cleared his throat.

"Did you want to see him?" He asked and Asahi sighed.

"I.. I honestly wasn't sure at first. Like I thought I would be okay seeing him but everything came back. He took me for a ride on his bike-"

"Asahi, you dare devil." Suga interrupted and Asahi groaned.

"Sugaa, if we could focus on my poor, unfortunate love-life, that'd be nice." Asahi said exasperatedly and Suga laughed.

"Yes yes, continue." Suga said and then Asahi let out a breath.

"Anyways. He took me for a ride on his bike and it was terrifying but the feeling of being able to be close to him and not have it be weird was nice." Asahi said and Suga sighed from his end of the call.

"Asahi, I'm just going to give you the same advice I did all those months ago. Just tell him. He won't kill you for having feelings for him. If anything it'll be a confidence boost." Suga explained and Asahi groaned for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

"That's what I'm worried about." He said as he ran a hand down his face. "You know what, screw it, I'm just going to tell him that I like him and if he has any problems with that he can ride away on his stupid little bike with his stupid little helmet that's covering his stupid little head that's attached to his stupid little body and-"

"Asahi? Ya done yet? Daichi and I haven't had dinner yet and I'm pretty hungry. You'll do great tomorrow and I wish you luck!" Suga said quickly before the phone clicked off, but not before he could hear a squeak and something like a bed shifting.

"What the fuck, Daichi. Your sex drive couldn't have waited 30 more seconds?" Asahi thought aloud and he could've sworn he felt Daichi glaring at him.

Well, tomorrow, Asahi's just gonna confess to Noya. It should go okay, right? Asahi thought as he went to lay down and get some sleep.

That night, Asahi thought back to when he had first started liking Noya. He probably had liked him since his second year but he hadn't really realized it at the time. It wasn't really till he was a month from graduating from Karasuno that he properly realized he was in love.

"Asahi-san? What are you doing out here?" Noya asked and Asahi sighed. He heard Noya's shoes on the loose gravel and then the small libero was sitting next to him, looking at him expectantly.

"My teacher asked what I was doing after high school." Asahi answered simply, as if that was all the explanation that Noya would need.

"And?" Noya questioned and Asahi fidgeted.

"I, uh, don't know? What I wanna do?" He said but the statement came out as more of a question.

"Well.. What are you interested in?" Noya asked and Asahi shrugged.

"I.. I don't really know." He answered truthfully. Every time someone asked him that question, his stomach would start to feel queasy and his heart would pound and his stomach would tie itself in knots.

"Well.. You like working with your cousin on his car, right?" Noya asked and Asahi thought for a moment. Working on cars was fun, he knew the basic mechanics well enough, but he didn't know them that well.

"I don't know everything about cars. It's more just a fun hobby." He said and Noya nodded along.

"Well, do you enjoy doing it?" He asked and Asahi once again had to pause and wrack his brain for an answer.

After a moment's thought, he finally relented, nodding slowly. "Yeah," he started, "but it's still just a hob-" Asahi was saying but Noya cut him off.

"You enjoy doing it, yes?" Nod. "Then I say go to school and learn more about mechanics. You're really good at what you do with your cousin's car and you enjoy doing it. Do you need a better reason?" He asked and Asahi hesitated.

Did he?

"That.. That was actually really helpful.." Asahi mumbled and squeaked when Noya punched his arm, grinning wide.

"Of course it was helpful! I'm me!" Noya said boisterously and Asahi realized that that was the first time he had wanted to just full on shut Noya up with a kiss.

The thought scared him almost as much as his foreboding future.

"Noya-san, I like you." Asahi said and then sighed, setting the pillow down and groaning into his hands. "Why does this have to be so hard?" He moved so he was laying down on his bed and facing the ceiling.

"Asahi-san! Wanna go for another ride?" Noya asked as he drove into the garage and jumped off his bike.

"I think for the sake of my mental and physical health, I'm gonna have to pass.

"Aww, too bad. It felt nice when you squeezed on my stomach a little too hard. Ah, well, maybe next time." Noya rambled slightly and Asahi smiled. "So what are you working on right now?" He asked, trying to change the subject at the sight of Asahi's flushed face.

"Oh, this car's engine broke so I'm fixing it." Asahi said a little distractedly and Noya just laughed.

"Well I figure that much. What broke?" He asked and Asahi rubbed the back of his hand against his forehead, knowing he probably wiped oil where his hand had been.

"The water filter broke. The owner didn't have the car running when they refilled so they cracked the pipes. It's not really repairable but I told them I'd try." Asahi explained and then Noya leaned over the engine, seeing a long crack in one of the lower pipes.

"Jesus. That person just ruined their whole car, didn't they?" Noya asked, leaning closer to Asahi than was probably necessary and Asahi held his breath.

"Y-yeah." Asahi stuttered out and averted his eyes.

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Noya asked and if they had been in any other situation, Asahi probably would have died of sexual tension. But this was now. And it was this situation. And he was just imagining the double meaning behind Noya's words.

"Well, I was going to try and fix the crack but there's no point. It'd be more than the car is worth at this point so unless they want to buy it then I'm gonna tell them they should probably look for a new car." Asahi said as smoothly as he could and moved slightly, hoping Noya wouldn't notice. He was wrong.

Noya glanced up at him and then smirked, turning slightly. "Asahi-san.." He started but then someone dropped a tool a few feet away and Noya jumped slightly.

"S-so uh.." Asahi said, fidgeting and Noya nodded, smiling wide.

"I'll let you get back to work." Noya said and Asahi did the only thing that came to his mind. He reached out and kissed Noya on the forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world. He panicked slightly but the sight of Noya's smile turning more real than it had been before made him keep his mouth shut.

"See ya, Noya-san." Asahi said with a smile and Noya waved over his shoulder.

"See ya later Asahi-san!" He called and got on his bike, driving away a few seconds later once it had started.

I'm fucked, Asahi thought before looking down at the car with disdain.

After the tiny kiss incident things progressed from there. And rapidly, if Asahi were to say so himself. It went from tiny pecks like that one cheeks and foreheads whenever they could, to quick goodbye kisses, to heavy make out sessions in the back of the shop when everyone else had gone home.

Asahi wasn't quite sure whether they were dating but he figured Noya wouldn't do this with just anyone so.. They had to be dating, right? Right.

Asahi had convinced himself of this. It had been two months since that first tiny, little peck. They were inseparable at this point and and Asahi couldn't say he minded it.

Noya was really sweet and really good at kissing. It was probably Asahi's favorite thing to do when things got even slightly awkward. Just one small peck and the awkward tension would be filled with something more familiar and Asahi couldn't help but let himself be pulled in by the tsunami that is Nishinoya Yuu. Asahi felt as though he was nothing more than a small ripple in a tidal pool but Noya made him feel like he was on top of the world when their lips would connect. Like he was able to stand on any mountain that came his way and there was nothing that could tear him down.

"I wanna go on a trip." Noya said one day, out of the blue. Asahi had been working on a car's timing belt and one of his hands slipped slightly and he sighed. He paused in his work and looked over at Noya, who couldn't find anything more interesting than the oil stained concrete beneath his feet to stare at.

"Oh really? Where to?" Asahi asked, not enjoying the sinking feeling his suddenly felt in his chest, pulling his heart to his feet.

"Just.. Around Japan, I guess." Noya said and finally looked up at Asahi.

"Well that would be fun. Would we take your bike?" Asahi asked and his heart had officially reached his feet when he saw Noya's confused expression.

"I meant.. By myself.." He mumbled and Asahi felt his stomach start to follow his heart. That could definitely tear him down from his untouchable mountain.

"Oh.." Was all he could manage to reply and Noya took a step closer and Asahi instinctively stepped back.

"I just.. Don't be mad? I just want to find myself before I try and do something more serious with my life than our fling we've got here."

Asahi didn't know his whole body could ache the way it did right at this moment. Fling? That's all this way to Noya? All it apparently should havebeen to Asahi? They.. Were more than that. Weren't they?

"Fling?" He questioned, voice gruff and Noya nodded, a confused look on his face.

"Yeah? That's what this was, right?" Noya asked and Asahi was now the one finding a keen interest in the oil stained concrete.

"Yeah.. Why would it have been anything else?" He said and he felt his eyes start to burn. Is this what heartbreak felt like? If so, he didn't want this. He didn't ask for this.

Then again, he thought, we don't get to choose our tragedies. They choose us. They rip us apart until they can't find a way to grip onto us and then they move on to the next unfortunate soul ignorant enough to let them in.

Asahi saw sneakers in his line of sight and he took a few steps back, keeping the distance on his own accord, instincts no longer telling him that he was in danger. That his heart was in danger. He was already shattering, piece by broken piece falling from the mental picture he had built up in his mind. Must have been made of stained glass to break this easily, he thought meekly.

"Asahi-" Noya started but Asahi put his hand up.

"Nishinoya-san, I think you should go." He said. He hadn't realized he'd used Noya's full name until after but he couldn't bring himself to care. Noya wouldn't hurt him like this.

This person was a stranger to him.

"But-"

"Please.." Asahi pleaded and Noya just nodded, though Asahi couldn't see it.

"Yeah.. Okay." He agreed and Asahi didn't lift his head till he heard Noya's bike start and the sound faded.

He gave in to the white hot pain that was slashing its way through his chest and cried.

Noya left the next morning, leaving Asahi a note that just had one singular word on it. Sorry. Asahi crumpled the paper and threw it away. He had been so stupid

He decided to completely throw himself into his work. It worked for two weeks. And then the loneliness started to set in.

Noya had left him. Just like that, without even a second glance over his shoulder. All he got was a hastily written "sorry" and then nothing. Absolutely nothing. And he felt nothing too.

Asahi couldn't feel a thing. His chest was always hollow, his stomach never quite full even after huge meals that Suga would force him to eat. He couldn't bring himself to feel whole again.

Noya had left the biggest fucking hole in his chest and he didn't even have the courtesy to tell him in person that he was sorry.

Daichi and Suga had found out about what happened and one or the other was always checking up on him.

Recently, he'd gotten better at lying his way through the never ending calls and texts. His smile was plastered to his face, shoulders always consciously raised and back straighter than it would be if he didn't think about it.

He tried. He really did. He tried to move on from Noya. He tried to find something to occupy the hole that had been his heart but Noya took that with him when he left Asahi alone to cry that night. But the thing was, he was sick and tired of trying. Of pretending. Of making everything seem more okay than it actually was.

He fucking hurt. His chest was numb, his movements were more like just going through the motions, and his brain barely did anything but agonize over the fact that he had to put on a mask and he couldn't grieve over his missing pieces. Noya had taken them all: his heart, his everyday thoughts, his love. He felt so incomplete that it was tearing him apart.

"Asahi-san, are you okay?" He heard and looked up, startled to see his coworker, mizu-something.

"Yeah! I'm fine." He said, all fake smiles and posture. Fake, fake, fake. It was all fake.

"You sure? You've been twisting that oil cap on for two minutes straight." He said and looked down to see his hand finally still its movements. They cap probably wasn't coming off anytime soon anyways.

"I was just making sure it was on there tight." He said quickly, pulling his hand away like the car had burned him.

"Well good luck to the person who has to take that off next time." He said and Asahi sighed.

"Sorry. I'll be more careful." He said and bowed, the gesture feeling rigid.

"It's.. Fine? I'm not your boss, I just wanted to check and see if you were okay." He said and Asahi smiled, the first real one since.. Well it was the first real one since what felt like a long while ago.

"Thank you for checking in on me." He said with another awkward bow and then turned to put the hood back down.

"Oh, uh, sure. But there's someone here for you. I know you said to not let anyone back here unless you said okay." Mizu-whatever explained and Asahi's heart started pounding.

"Thank you." Asahi repeated and walked past his coworker, wiping his hands off on a towel. He walked towards the door and saw ash blonde hair. His heart calmed down. This happened every time. "Hey Suga." He said and Suga smiled.

"I brought you lunch because I knew you probably skipped breakfast again. Also, Daichi and I wanna invite you over for dinner." Suga's smile never faltered, even when Asahi tried to decline the dinner offer. "Asahi, you can't stay miserable like this over Noya-san forever. You need to move on with your life." Suga finished and his face had hardened.

"Suga, it's not that eas-" Asahi started but was cut off by a pointed look from Suga.

"Asahi." Suga said and that seemed enough to scare Asahi so he didn't continue.

"I've tried I swear. I just.." Asahi trailed off.

"You loved him."

"Love. I'll always love him. It just hurts so I pretend I don't. Pretend I never did." Asahi explained and Suga gave him a solemn smile. "Love fucking sucks."

"Not always. You'll find someone, don't worry Asahi." Suga said and placed a hand on Asahi's shoulder.

"I found that someone. They just hadn't found me, I guess."

"That's it. You're coming over for dinner." Suga declared and started walking away. "You have no choice now." Suga said and Asahi just sighed, not caring anymore at this point.

After a few more weeks, the pain became more bearable to deal with. It had been a month and a half now since Noya had left and Asahi was slowly healing. He still felt hollow and lonely. Suga and Daichi had bothered him less and less about eating dinner at their place and he eventually was able to fly low under their radar.

Seriously, they were more like parents than friends.

Asahi was slowly making his way to the surface of the ocean of agony he'd been in the past month. He had nearly drowned when Noya left him, terrible news bearing down on his shoulders and keeping him below the surface. Slowly, he had been swimming towards the surface, he could feel the water starting to thin out. He was so close. He could almost feel the sun beating down on his face.

Asahi scratched his chin, feeling the beard he hadn't been bothered to shave scratching his hand. He sighed and went back to working on the cars engine. Something was wrong and he had to figure it out but he couldn't focus.

"Wait! You can't go back there!" Asahi heard someone yell and he turned his head. His heart dropped.

"Asahi-san! I tried to keep this kid from-"

"I'm not a kid! I'm an adult and I have a name so if you would kindly leave us alone, I have business with this guy." Nishinoya said and Asahi couldn't move. His eyes were blown wide and he couldn't feel his body. His chest was starting to ache but swirl with life at the same time. His stomach felt like it was going to be sick but it was also filled with a swarm of butterflies. Funny how his heart and his brain contradict themselves.

"-sahi-san? Asahi-san?"

He started to focus back in on his surroundings and looked to his coworker.

"He's fine. He won't be here for more than a minute anyways." Asahi said, refusing to make eye contact with Nishinoya. Mizuni left to go back to his work and Asahi sighed.

"Why are you here?" Asahi spat disdainfully at Nishinoya and he saw the other flinch out of the corner of his eye.

"I wanted to see you."

"Why?" Asahi started, now looking up at Nishinoya. "So you could tear my heart apart again? Cuz if so, kindly fuck off." Asahi was boiling over with pent up rage and he called his hands into fists.

"Asahi-san.." Nishinoya started but Asahi stopped him with a hand.

"No, Nishinoya-san. I have had a long day and I don't want you to fuck it up again."

"Asahi-san." Nishinoya said a little more forcefully and Asahi moved his eyes to the smaller man standing in front of him. He was suddenly very aware of the little amount of space they had between them that was dwindling quickly with Nishinoya's steps.

"Don't.. Don't call me that." Asahi stuttered out and Nishinoya's eyes twitched in confusion.

"Why the fuck not." It wasn't a question but Asahi had had enough.

"Because that's what friends call each other. And after the way you just left, I'm not sure I can ever call you that."

Nishinoya was gaping at Asahi's words. Asahi was unsure how he had the courage to talk right now but his usual nerves were completely forgotten as he stepped towards Nishinoya, who, in turn, backed away.

"We couldn't possibly be friends. We were just a fling after all. That's what you called us, right? A fling? Well, it felt like more than that to me. And you know what? You tore me apart when you just left like that." Asahi had backed Nishinoya against a wall at this point, using his hands on the walls to keep the other from moving. "You didn't even have the decency to tell me that you were sorry in person. All I got was a scribbled sorry on a piece of paper and a broken heart. You were so much more than a fling to me and it killed me to go these weeks without any sort of solace."

"Asahi-sa-"

"No!" Asahi raised his voice slightly, banging his hand against the wall and cringed a little at the sound. "Why the hell are you even here? Was your previous visit not enough? Need a fresher sense of my pain?" Asahi asked and Nishinoya looked on the verge of tears.

You can still take it back, you know, his mind chanted at him, you can still have him. You can take back your words and everything can go back to the way it was.

"No." Nishinoya said as if answering Asahi's thoughts. "I'm here because.. I, well, I guess I found myself?" Nishinoya said and he looked down at the oil stained concrete. Asahi put a finger under the others chin and lifted it, his face much more gentle now that he'd been able to let out his anger.

"Look at me when you're talking to me." Asahi said gently but with a sense of assertiveness and he didn't miss the shiver that wracked Nishinoya's body. "What do you mean by you found yourself?" Asahi asked and Nishinoya was suddenly moving his arms around Asahi's neck and pulling the taller down so he could kiss him.

Noya's mouth was forceful against his own and Asahi felt himself melting away into nothing. Before he could get any more lost in Noya's mouth, he pushed the other away and rested their foreheads together.

"I found that I really couldn't go without having you in my life." Noya explained and locked his eyes with Asahi's.

"This doesn't excuse you from before." Asahi said and Noya dropped his eyes but quickly reattached their gazes.

"I really am sorry. I was an absolute asshole and I don't blame you if you don't want me back but I really hope you will because I really do love you and I really really don't want to make the same mistake twice." Noya rambled and Asahi took that as his cue to shut the other up.

"Noya, it's all good now. I'm not gonna say it's fine because it really isn't but.. If you can prove yourself, I'll consider taking you back." Asahi said and a sly smirk made its way on his face and Noya smiled wide.

"I definitely won't let you down again, Asahi-san!" Noya said and Asahi pecked his lips.

"Maybe then I'll say it." Asahi said secretively and Noya gave him a questioning gaze. "Maybe."

"Noya-san! We're gonna be late!" Asahi checked his watch and looked back into the apartment.

"Sorry Asahi-san! I couldn't find my wallet." Noya explained and then came out, closing the door behind him.

"Daichi and Suga said 7:30 and it is now 7:20. They're definitely gonna beat us there." Asahi complained and Noya just smiled and kissed Asahi's cheek after a short jump.

Asahi blushed and then laced their fingers together.

"Hey Asahi-san?" Noya asked when they were about half way there and Asahi looked over at his boyfriend of almost a year now. He hummed a response to show he was listening and Noya smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." Asahi said and Noya's smile grew even wider.

"I'm glad." He said and then blushed lightly, turning his gaze to the ground.

I could get use to this, Asahi thought and then squeezed Noya's hand. The squeeze in return made Asahi's heart leap and he smiled.

I may not be able to choose my tragedies, he thought, but I can definitely choose my victories.