He's just told me his cancer's come back. For a moment, I don't know how to answer him. My world is splintering, and I'm finding it harder to breathe than usual. That's saying a hell of a lot.

"Hazel Grace, don't be afraid, okay?" Augustus assures me.

"You... I don't wanna lose you," I say, my voice barely audible.

"You won't. You won't," he says, holding me tighter.

"Gus, I can't think of this world without you," I tell him, my tone soft. "I know what I said. I remember. That said, though, I will never forget all that we've been through."

"You speak like you're saying goodbye, Hazel Grace," he says with a frown, cupping my chin and shaking his head. "It isn't time for that yet, No. we have lots of time. I'm not giving up. I need you to hold on for me. too. I need you to be with me." He's pushing my hair away from my face as if to offer some comfort. I hold onto him so tight that for a moment, time freezes.

"Please don't leave me, Augustus," I whisper. "Please, no. Not... not yet." I hate how childish I sound, but damn it, I'm just not ready for this. The tears are starting to seep from my eyes.

"Shhh. Don't cry, Hazel Grace." My head is on his chest, and I feel it rumble as he continues shushing my sobs. I can't help it, though. The thought of losing him gives me a pain that has nothing to do with my cancer. This pain is deeper than any that has ever given me.

"I'm not giving up yet," he repeats, rocking me slowly.

"I have to stay," I tell him.

"Stay?" He seems confused.

"With you. Till the end. It seems right to me."

"Hazel Grace, no. Don't talk like the end is already here. Just because my cancer is back doesn't mean I will roll into my grave and die right here. I'm gonna fight for us."

"You swear it?" I ask, even though I know his answer.

"I do. I swear it. You are a big part of why I am still fighting, Hazel Grace. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and I will do all I can to stay here with you. I'm going to England to get treatment, and-" I stop him and ask, "When do we go?"

"Hazel Grace-"

"No, where you go. I go. Okay?"

"Okay." He kisses me, and I'm holding on for dear life because I know it will be so empty when I finally let him go.

That night, we stand there discussing it with our folks.

"After all," says his mom, "you only get one go at this."

"But," my mom argues, casting a worried look at me, "Hazel, you're too weak."

"Mom, Augustus needs me," I say, "and besides, when else will I get this chance?"

She knows I love Augustus, and she knows it will make me ache to be so far away while he is fighting. She gives me a smile that tells me all this before she says. "Alright, Hazel. You can go. Promise us you will call?"

"Yes, of course," I respond.

She and Dad hug me, and my dad is, as per usual, crying. I give them a smile and walk away.

"Are you sure, Hazel Grace?" I hear Augustus ask me as we leave to pack. I used to find it odd that he called me by both my first and middle name, but somehow now, I'd give anything to hear it in that sexy, rumbling tone I'd fallen for.

"Oh, yes," I assure him. "I have to do this. I don't want you alone."

"I'd have my parents," he told me, but then smiled in that impish way I'd come to give everything for. "I am really glad you want to come, however, because I find if this works, my victory would be inexplicably hollow without you there."

I smile. "Why, Augustus, are you flirting?" `

"I thought you'd recognize that by now, Hazel Grace.," he responds, grinning again.

"I do," I tell him, kissing him quickly. "England, here we come."